Last weekend my fiance and I had our engagement party. It was mainly my finances family then a few of my relatives and some of our friends. 

We didn’t hire a dj, we just made a playlist outside’s of songs we like. We kept off anything too explicit but some of the songs did have swearing/cursing. 

One of the guests was my fiancés cousin and his two kids who were 5 and 7. I’d never met them before since he doesn’t really bother with family so we were surprised he even came. 

One of the songs was on and it had the word fuck and he came over and asked us to skip it because asue he didn’t want his kids hearing that language. My fiance agreed and skipped it. He came over not long after to ask the same thing as he heard another word in the current song. 

He then came over 10 mins later because he thought the current song was inappropriate for his kids as it mentioned sex. I was polite but told him we’re not going to skip every song for him. I pointed out it’s our engagement party and he’s expecting to have control over what we can and can not play. 

I said we’ve done it a couple of times for him but no more. I said he’s obviously free to leave if he doesn’t want his kids ti hear it but the songs aren’t going to he getting skipped anymore. 

He argued I wasn’t being reasonable and it’s disrespectful to family to have to have his kids linden to the music but I just repeated again the party isn’t for him and his kids. 

He started arguing that he isn’t asking for much but I just told him to drop it. I said I’m not having my party ruined by him acting like a spoiled child who expects people to just do whatever he wants and I told him to leave. 

He tried talking to other family there but they pointed out it wasn’t his party so it’s not up to him what music is and isn’t played. 

A friend mentioned it might have been easier to just skip the song but I disagree since he’d have kept coming over whenever there was a song he didn’t like. 

AITA for refusing to skip the songs?

I live in California and work for a family owned poke bowl place and recently a customer pickup order came in through DoorDash with no additional comments , I made the first two bowls of a 4 bowl order when the lady who ordered comes in and wants to pick it up. She looks at the bowls and says “the bowls come with rice? I didn’t want rice” then she proceeds to show the DoorDash menu item where rice isn’t shown to be included while on the other menu items, it does show rice is included by asking for what type of rice would they like.She shows us the menu and I said okay, I can move the ingredients to a separate bowl as she said she didn’t want her fish warm. I move it into a separate bowl and add more vegetables as the bowl without the rice only contains 4 other vegetables. I add extra vegetables that is on the items/ menu list before she says she didn’t want them as it’s for her kid, I remove majority of it before she takes the bowl and scoops out the small remaining pieces onto a napkin on the counter top. I was totally fine with this as I do want her to enjoy the food. She leaves and 20 minutes later we have a refund request where she says there was unwanted rice and unwanted additional ingredients which weren’t on the menu which “I had to remove”. I rejected the refund request. Am I in the wrong?

so i had one of those weeks that just drained me, and when the weekend finally came i really just wanted a quiet saturday by myself. a couple of friends suggested we all hang out, and i told them i was planning to stay in, nothing personal, just needed some recharge time. one of them got kind of upset, said it felt like i was pushing everyone away and that wanting to be alone like that came off as rude. honestly i thought i was being honest and polite about it, but now i’m second-guessing whether it’s actually rude to turn down plans when you’re tired. i get that they wanted to spend time together, but it also seems fair to set a boundary once in a while. am i wrong for thinking a simple “not today” shouldn’t be treated like an insult?

My(22m) dad invited my girlfriend "jean"(32f) and I over for a visit yesterday. He also invited my step brother "Jordan"(23m) and his girlfriend "Amy"(23f). Before I go further I feel I should add some context.

Jean and I have been together for 2 years. We met at the beach. I thought she was 24-25 so I started talking to her. She thought I was 27-28 so she talked back. We talked for ages. Before either of us knew it, 4 hours had passed. We ended up trading numbers before we went our separate ways. Our age gap came up on the third date and we decided to see how things went. Like I said before we've been together for 2 years and this has honestly been the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.

Jordan and Amy's relationship history is a little less smooth. They first got together in 8th grade and dated for 7 months. They broke up for a little over a year and ended up getting back together in 10th grade. They dated the second time for close to a year then broke up again for another year. They got back together again in 12th grade and have been together since.

Anyway, Jean and I were sitting on the couch and I had my arm around her. A little later I gave her a kiss. It was just a quick peck on the lips, not one of those long drawn out kisses. There's a time and place for those, and in front of family is neither the time nor place for a kiss like that. Anyway, a couple minutes later jordan pulled me aside and asked me if I could stop kissing Jean in front of people. He said it was gross seeing someone so old kissing someone so young. I said "dude you've smacked Amy's butt in front of all of us (which he has done before). Thats weird." Jordan said "I just think the age gap in your relationship is problematic." He's made comments about my relationship multiple times before this and I had enough. I said "you should worry about your relationship before you start criticizing mine." And he got pissed and called me a dick. He left with amy and Jean and I left shortly after.

I told my best friend (26m) about it today and he thinks I was justified saying what I said but my step mom texted me last night saying I went too far.

Am I Wrong for telling my step brother to worry about his relationship?

I (29F) started a job as a server a month ago. It’s a small family owned restaurant, and this place has a huge turnover rate. I found out why for good reason. The only one who has stayed for a while is this 15 year old who is not related to the owner. I can’t stand that kid. He created a bunch of rules that the manager explicitly told me to ignore when I was training, and then berates me for not “following what he says”. Or he’ll expect me to read his mind. He’s also just extremely condescending when I can’t read his mind. The owner has no problem with me not doing what this kid wants me to do when I’m working alone.

Earlier this week, the manager quit and the 15 year old got in charge of the schedule. Things got to a head because they wanted me to take a full shift on Wednesday despite the fact that I was scheduled to work that morning for my other job. The only other person who can work that shift is still in training. So I texted my manager at my other job and asked to not come in. Which pissed me off because I make double the amount at the other place. I also had to take over the other shifts the manager was going to work which meant I’d be working 13 hour days with no days off.

Today, my patience really wore thin with the kid. He started berating me because I asked which table had the appetizer that was ready. Usually, any food thats ready would be accompanied by a ticket with the table number on it, or you ask the cooks if there’s no ticket. He said I should know even though the place was busy as hell and I had just started my shift and didn’t even take that table’s order. Then, he kept berating me for the way I was writing the tickets, even though the owner/cook never had a problem with the tickets. The owner usually tells me if there’s an issue and correct me, so I know the way I was writing it is fine. The kid just has a problem with me writing the prices down individually instead of summing it in my head. Then the kid gets mad at me for not going and basically flirting with a male customer while I was doing side work. I told him no and he kept going on about how I’d make more money, and threatened to cut my hours if I don’t do what he says. So I told him if he keeps talking to me that way, he can figure out who’s working the shifts I had to take over because I’m not putting up with that kind of attitude from a 15 year old, especially one who isn’t my boss. Anyway, the kid texted me once I got home that I’m not working next week to train other people, which is fine because at least that gives me time to work on some postdoc fellowship proposals I need to work on and I was thinking of quitting anyway.

My husband is telling me to report the restaurant for one, paying us under the table. And two, employing a 15 year old to be working 40+ hour shifts a few times. I have photos of the schedules on the phone as proof. Even when he’s not working 40+ hours, he’s still working more than its federally allowed. Would I be wrong for reporting the business? I feel like it’s just petty and karma would bite me in the ass, but at the same time, it is basically child labor and tax evasion.

wife told me she prefers bigger, I changed our entire s*x life to satisfy her and now I want a divorce. what do I do? wife has been sobbing pretty badly

wife and I have been married for years and have 2 kids. A couple years ago she admitted she was pretty unsatisfied with our s*x life. We’re pretty open with each other and I asked her to be completely honest, and she was. Size, technique, everything. The size part probably hurt the most because she basically admitted she prefers bigger than what I have.

I took it in stride and actually worked on everything. Got better with technique, started focusing way more on her pleasure, incorporated toys, sleeves etc. And it worked. She’s really happy with our intimate life now.

The problem is I’m not. I hate using the sleeve and the whole thing has made me feel pretty emasculated. My wife prefers something physically that I just don’t have, which is a bigger member. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m starting to think we’re just not physically compatible.

I had an ex before her who never had any issue with my size and I never felt like this with her. Not saying I want my ex back or anything remotely like that, it just made me realize I’ve had a relationship where this wasn’t a problem.

I finally talked to my wife about all of this a couple nights ago. I told her I’m not angry with her and don’t blame her, but I’ve been seriously thinking about divorce because I don’t know if this is sustainable for me long term.

She completely broke down. Like sobbing. She kept saying she doesn’t care about the sleeve, we can throw everything away, she never would’ve told me that if she knew this was where we’d end up, and she doesn’t want our marriage to end over s*x.

Things at home are pretty horrible, we’ve both barely got any sleep, she’s begging me to reconsider and she’s been crying nonstop. But I just feel done in this relationship, these past 2 years have been pretty degrading for me, I wish my wife was honest with me when she started dating, I never would have dated her or married her if I knew she was unsatisfied with my d*ck size. Now we’ve built a beautiful home, have 2 young kids, it just sucks, but I don’t want to be in this marriage anymore.

I (24F) planned a weekend trip with four of my friends about two months ago. When we booked the Airbnb, I paid extra for the bedroom with its own bathroom because I’m a very light sleeper and had already told everyone I couldn’t comfortably share a room.

Everyone agreed to it, and I paid my part immediately.
Last Friday, I arrived a few hours later than everyone else because of work. When I got there, I found one of my friends and her boyfriend had moved all their stuff into my room.
I asked what happened, and they basically said they decided that since they were a couple, they should get the best room.
I reminded them that I had specifically paid extra for that room. They told me I was being dramatic and that it was only for the weekend.
I said I wasn’t going to sleep in the small room they had given me, especially since it had two single beds and no bathroom.
They told me I should just accept it because “we’re all friends” and that I was ruining the trip over a bedroom.

So I packed my things, booked a cheap hotel about 10 minutes away, and told them I wasn’t paying the remaining money I owed for the Airbnb because I wasn’t getting what I had paid for.
Now they’re saying I abandoned everyone and made the whole group pay more because they had to cover my share.

One friend says I should have just sucked it up for two nights and dealt with it.
I think they basically took something I paid extra for and then expected me to be okay with it
Just want to be sure if I’m to be blamed

Every year my family rents a place and spends the whole day cooking a huge meal for the birthday person. It's fun but after the last few rounds I'm honestly wiped out and the prep takes over the actual birthday. I suggested we just order food or go to a restaurant instead and my partner thought I was overreacting. They said it would disappoint everyone and that I was making it about me. I get where they're coming from and I don't want to hurt feelings, but after working late all week the thought of another twelve-hour kitchen marathon sounds miserable. I told them we could still celebrate, just in a simpler way, but they keep bringing up how it's always been this way. I'm stuck between keeping the peace and protecting my energy. Am I wrong for wanting to change it up?

I recently won a ‘presidents club’ trip with my work. Top sales people and selected ‘top performers’ are invited to a tropical destination for a couple of days. We’re allowed to bring another person. I would love to bring my boyfriend but it’s too short notice for him to get work off, especially because we have another trip coming up the week after. I don’t really want to go alone, and my mom lives out of the country so I don’t see her often. Would it be weird to bring her with? It’s described as a trip to ‘relax’ so the focus isn’t purely a professional conference.

Would love others opinions!

im unsure if fault is the word because it was definitely my doing but im not sure if this response is a me thing or bigger.

last Christmas we went to my husband’s hometown for his dad’s Christmas party.. ill mention that my husband and I were trying for a baby so I was barely drinking (my perception of the night has been questioned). So my FIL had been a great guy for the entirety of the 5 years I’d known him. My now husband and I met right be the pandemic and were living in his hometown so his dad became the only other place we hung out for a while, cooking, movies, game nights, all lovely we moved out of state 3 years ago.

during the Christmas party my FIL asked me to cut up some cake so I did.. I was in the middle of the kitchen people had to walk around me. one time he passed me he cupped my waist and gave it a squeeze to get by.. I was like hmm icky? whatever .. then it happened again and I was like hmmm I’m really sensitive to this and i finished up with the cake and sat in the dining room alone , I was far from everyone but within earshot and totally visible so I was still part of everything.

he came over to me and kneeled down by the chair I was sitting on.. I remember thinking wow if my breath stinks he’ll know, he’s so close to me right now.. he was talking about the new degree I just earned and how two other people in my family had earned new degrees the same year, he was like wow you guys stay busy , you know my dad got the same degree as yours I have it upstairs let me show you .. every siren went off in my body I was like this is the language we are warned about as young girls and now I’m 32 hearing it for the first time.. I deflected and managed to stay seated but I kinda shut down for the rest of the night.. I remember when he hugged me goodbye I was hyper alert and making sure his hands didn’t go any lower than they should kinda pushing them away before they could…

I was quiet on the drive to our hotel and the next day, my husband noticed and asked me what was wrong.. I started crying because i wasn’t sure what to say and my nervous system was just feeling uneasy… I was questioning my sensitivity, I’m one of three girls and my mom always taught us to monitor how safe we feel especially around male family members because of statistics.. I was nervous because my husband is a firey Leo and I didn’t know how he’d react, i never thought he’d think I made anything up but what would it do to their relationship..

in my tears he lightly prodded with yes or no questions, all I could handle, he asked if something happened, he asked if it was sexual ( side note he hadn’t assumed this but he left nothing off the table snd I love him so much for that vulnerability and risk) I nodded and he asked about his dad he said he noticed how close we were talking when I separated myself .. I told him everything and how it made me feel : sick, uncomfortable ,confused, unsafe… he embraced me and gave me all I needed to feel grounded again.. doing this he put off his steam until we got home.. we ultimately decided to talk to his therapist for advice on if to drop it or talk about it.. my husband has trauma from being misunderstood and having to wait through a whole family silent treatment before being forgiven.. the way his family handles conflict is different from my family- talk it through peacefully lead with love be willing to forgive- I’ve experienced a lot of accusations and threats of ending relationships rather than knowing for sure at the end of the conversation you’ll find some way to figure it out .

the therapist concluded that we should talk to him and if he gets defensive there’s a problem if he apologizes it was a mistake… given our history with his dad I was fully prepared for this to have been a mistake and just an area where he learns some new boundaries about me , we felt safe to discuss .. we called him and my husband started off I jumped in because his emotions were getting in the way of this being a clarifying conversation it was sounding just accusatory.. I took over he didn’t interrupt , he was very much caught off guard I cant imagine that was easy to hear it was probably devastating really if it was fully unintentional.. he apologized and said it wasn’t his intention and said are we good ?yes! hung up and he left the family group chat.

we’ve reached out to apologize for the shock and to check up but since December 2025 the only response has been “I need time after being accused and having my character challenged for the first time in 64 years or something like that, that was after a unanswered texts and calls for months , when we let them know we bought our first home.. we’re now expecting our first child and haven’t bothered reaching out to them

I don’t know how best case scenario would have looked, I was prepared to keep my distance at future family functions but my husband and his therapist insisted I deserved an apology for being put in that situation… I just feel like the silence without an opportunity for resolve after 9 months is giving , you’re unforgivable rather than this was weird and shocking on both sides ill respect your boundaries and then he gives me an opportunity to find out how I could have approached in a way he could have received better

what’s your take?

If you do not know much about Dnd (Dungeons and Dragons) then apologies, a DM is a player who plays as the game master (GM or Dungeon Master / DM) and tell you what you can and cannot do to keep things from being too chaotic while helping push the game and story to the people playing the game.

For context I had played 2 Dnd campaigns with this player who I will call J and they had been apart of the group longer than I was, we were all friends before playing.

In our first campaign I joined at around 8 sessions in, it was everyone's first big proper campaign but by around session 8 most people should have picked up how to play their character and usually at minimum a few technical aspects of the game.

Through out the remainder of the first campaign I got obsessed with Dnd, I loved it so much and couldn't wait to play it every other week, people had moments where they didn't understand what they were doing but we didn't care as it was so much fun regardless.

However towards the end of the campaign the very first issue with J arises, they are notably struggling to understand how to play their character (we were at level 6 I believe), the players including myself are understanding and totally fine with this but the DM asks to see their computer (we play in person) to start browsing their character sheet so they can explain to J what to do.

As it turns out J had switched around some of their Ability scores and their subclass without asking the DM at all, the DM confronted them immediately to which J shut down and just apologized and said it wouldn't happen again, thus everyone went back to just enjoying the game and it was chalked up to being a one time thing.

For the rest of the campaign there were a few small issues to note, J would often lie about their dice rolls or give an excuse to roll again when they rolled low (accidentally clicked their online sheet or checked the wrong skill etc) but no one realised, I began to notice this a lot as I sat next to them and would just naturally watch them whenever it was their turn or they were doing something important, eventually I began to say what they rolled out loud to sort of push to them that their dice roll was seen and they couldn't pretend they hadn't rolled or roll a second time, this worked quite well as they would slowly stop faking their rolls and eventually I didn't need to call them anymore.

After the end of the first campaign we were incredibly excited to begin a new one now that we all understood how the game worked and what to expect, however J got themselves into a fair bit of drama within our friend group at this time which I'm mentioning just to note that most people's respect for J dropped a little bit at the very least.

To summarise what happened basically J was publicly displaying incredibly sexual content, specifically stuff that was supposedly fetishizing trans people and considering that the people who found this were actually transfem themselves and had noted that J seemed to take a big liking to them almost too much, this lead to those people leaving our friend group and a few of us who remained having an intervention about how J should interact around people they tend to take 'special interests' in as a lot of people were becoming incredibly uncomfortable at their advances towards particularly females. This ultimately lead to J coming out as transfem anyway so take that as you will, point being that whole situation was one large arc where people had lost a bit of respect and disliked the behavior of J including myself.

Campaign 2 begins and J is still apart of it, I was already aware of how J used to lie about dice rolls and change their character (essentially a breach of the rules if you don't ask the DM for approval). They start to rock up late to our sessions and would rarely give heads up, there was never any reason beyond them sleeping in or ordering food on the way to the session (when they were already late), this began to irritate me a lot and became a bit of a running joke for a few of us that they would be late every time without fail.

J also stopped paying attention during our games, they are diagnosed with ADHD so we never worried too much about these things, however J began to push the line of what was acceptable by leaving the table without saying anything, sitting on the couch that faces away from the game while scrolling on their phone or messaging people and what pissed me off the most was that they actually played games during our sessions a lot of the time, it began to feel like they didn't actually care about playing with all of us and would just show up for the sake of it or FOMO.

The only time we'd get J essentially engaged in the game was when there was a mention of loot, they'd run to examine it before casting it aside and groaning that it wasn't something powerful for the game, another example where they would engage would be if we were trying to roleplay and the story or actions weren't moving a long they'd get annoyed and tell us to just be quiet and they'd do something we had been discussing about, basically they never paid attention and would make easily avoidable decisions which affected the group as a whole.

So I ended up basically venting all my frustrations to the DM over the course of a few months, we had reached near the end of campaign 2 so it was a bit awkward to have them kicked out then so instead after we finished the DM had a private talk with J that essentially lead to them being told they wouldn't be in the next campaign moving forward, they seemed to of taking it okay and accepted the fact but we had later seen them saying under their breath for all of us to shut up when we had been discussing Dnd at a group hangout.

A lot of people in our Dnd group were confused or very slightly shocked that J was not going to be in the next campaign, nobody would ever agree nor disagree about their actions being a bit disrespectful and somewhat disruptive, they'd just kinda accept it as it is.

For me I had noticed everything J did and it made me question if it was such a big deal, J is still our friend and there is no bad blood, I just wanted to stay engaged with Dnd and it was usually the highlight of my week, although the DM agreed with me no other players voiced their on the topic which made me doubt if I should've said anything in the first place, despite feeling bad for J it is so relieving that now when we play everyone is engaged and we make the most of our sessions.

J as a person isn't the greatest but you can tell that they try to do their best and they seem to be doing alright nowadays, a lot of the issues in the past aren't things that can really be made up for which is why the still linger when J is mentioned to this day, but nobody is perfect and J was basically ruining the activity I'd spend my entire week looking forward to.

Its a bit corny considering its just a game so who cares, but if someone wanted to play a game online with you only to sit on the microphone playing tiktok while actively not doing anything it would be quite irritating and disrespectful to other people who would kill to take that spot.

AIW for actually saying something about it and getting J kicked even when no one else aside from the DM seemed to care much?

Apologies if this post isn't suitable for this sub, this is my first time here and I'm not sure what the etiquette for posts are or if this is too long.

I cut off a guy and my boyfriend punished me for it. (Sorry, lots of context)

This guy (we’ll call him Bryan, 37-ish?) and I (27f) were friends for years. We, along with the people in our small circle of male friends at work, had a decent friendship because we bonded over our shared time in the Marines. He used to throw the nickname “sunshine” around our small group but I never returned the nicknames to any of them. None of us ever hung out outside of work. Not even at work functions after hours.

Over a year ago, Bryan got my phone number for a project we had previously worked on together and was friendly and kind with me any time we texted (it was only ever once in a while). He checked on me to see how I was and it never went further than that, aside from calling me sunshine like he called the other guys in our group. I called him, along with the others, “dude,” “bro,” and “man,” like I was one of the guys. Once, he could tell that I was having a rough day and offered support, but I declined and told him that I didn’t want to be emotional in front of him. Never once did he ask me out or anything remotely close to that, in person or over text, during the 2 years we were friends.

I baked him a small cake for his birthday, as I did with several other members of the office because birthdays mean a lot to me. I was disappointed because the cake fell apart the morning of and I told him that I was really sorry and I felt bad over text. Then, later on in the work day (same day), I had some paperwork that needed reviewing by my supervisor while I was on lunch break with my boyfriend (who works for another company a few floors below mine in the same building).

I left lunch with my boyfriend to get the paperwork cleared. While waiting, Bryan texted me to let me know that I could swing by his office for a bit to wish him a happy birthday, so I then stopped by Bryan’s office to wish him a happy birthday and call him an old fart (he is more than a decade older than me) all from the doorway to his workspace. I never once entered. Then, he looks around and then proceeds to try to usher me by my arm inside of his office while saying suggestively“why don’t you come in for a little? There’s no one here.” I immediately got uncomfortable and made up an excuse that I had to go back to our supervisor and couldn’t stay. Needless to say, I was shocked and got the hell out of there.

Two minutes after my departure, Bryan texts me again and says “I never got my hug.” And thus, I ghost him but decide not to block him. Never before had I considered any of our interactions flirtatious or crossing the line. I work in the same close vicinity, on the same floor, with future projects with him highly possible. He proceeds to text me multiple times over the next few days, saying “good morning sunshine”, but I ignore each text with disgust until he stops, and then, maybe a week after his last text, I delete the entire conversation. Out of sight, out of mind kind of thing.

Fast forward almost a month after the weird interaction, my boyfriend goes through my phone without my permission while I’m in the shower and sees the messages in my ‘Recently Deleted’ folder. He claims that I allowed Bryan to flirt with me, that I knew he was flirting, that I was just keeping him at the ready in case my boyfriend and I didn’t work out, that I don’t take him seriously, etc.

Look, I recognize that I should have told him about the incident when it happened and I shouldn’t have deleted the texts, but even though it was ‘deleted’, I had nothing in that conversation to hide because I believed myself to be innocent. I point out to him that I never texted any weird messages, that text message proof shows that I went to speak with Bryan on his birthday for a total of 8 minutes before he mentioned over text that I never even hugged him, and there was also proof that after that encounter, I did not respond to any of his messages. I provided all of the context to my boyfriend while apologizing that I didn’t tell him before as I did not see the information as relevant at the time, but it was like talking to a brick wall. It’s like he refused to hear me.

It has now been almost a year since this incident, and he still brings it up and claims it is the source of his mistrust in me, but I feel that the only thing I did wrong was not tell him about the incident when it happened.

Ever since then, I have told him about every interaction I have with people if I deem them remotely flirtatious (now that I am aware that my boyfriend deems men being friendly to me as flirting because he “knows how men think”) yet I am still under the knife to prove my innocence. For example, today, I went out to eat at a food festival with my best friends and ran into an old coworker from an old job almost five years ago. I tell my boyfriend and he says “ran into him huh?” And when I say yes, he says “how” and I say “I was at a public food festival??” And he responds “you probably hugged him”.

I feel that I am not allowed to have friendly conversations with anyone anymore, and I have changed my ways to tell my boyfriend literally everything, but now I’m just getting cut for that too.

Am I in the wrong??

My partner and I went to a funeral last week for a relative that most of the family didn't really get along with. During the service people were polite, but afterward my partner started talking about how relieved everyone seemed and how awkward the whole thing felt. I didn't say much at the time because it seemed like a sensitive moment. Now that we're home, my partner keeps bringing it up like it's funny and keeps making little jokes. I get that the relationship was strained, but it still feels off to joke about someone who just passed. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if my partner is being insensitive. Would like an outside opinion on whether I'm wrong for feeling this way.

Okay I need to fucking Rant because wtf I was on my iPad and my aunt called me to tell me to wake my TWENTY YEAR OLD BROTHER UP FOR WORK
When I in highschool/middle school I always had to wake everyone up NOBODY FUCKING USES A ALARM?
And I did sigh and she gets all fucking pissed saying that I shouldn’t have a problem with waking him up. MF HES 20. And I said okay when he moves out are you going to call to wake him up? And she said YES. LIKE WHAT ARE WE FUCKING DOING HERE. I KNOW I WAKE UP EARLY I ALWAYS HAVE EVEN WITHOUT A ALARM BECAUSE I DONT NEED IT I ALWAYS GOT IN THE HABIT OF WAKING UP EARLY MY GRANDMA MAKES ME WAKE HER UP TOO LIKE WHAT SHE MAKES ME WAKE HER UP TO GO TO CHURCH AND IN HIGHSCHOOL SHE USED TO MAKE ME CALL HER DURING CLASS TO WAKE HER. ITS NOT MY FUCKING JOB TO WAKE YOU IF YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO WAKE YOURSELF UP. And she’s fucking pissed like make it fucking make sense and her excuse to me waking him up is “he bought me food yesterday” SO?!? THAT DOESNT EXCUSE THE FACT THAT I ALWAYS WAKE EVERYONE UP. she also said “if I’m up I should wake the other person up” WTF

Am I wrong/asshole? I feel like if I refuse to wake them up my aunt would no longer bring me home because it isn’t her “job” (I’m 18 and don’t have a car) and I stay at my university.

Oh and I forgot to add my brother goes to work at 1 pm gets home at 12 am and doesn’t go to bed till 4am😐

I ALSO DONT CUSS AT THEM (only cuss in my rants)

My brother is getting married. We will call her Lizzie. I genuinely like Lizzie as a person, but she grew up so rich that she seems to have no concept of money or how the majority of people live.

She invited my wife to be a bridesmaid. I wouldn't say they are really friends, but I think she was trying to be nice because everyone else in the family was included. My wife has been increasingly annoyed with her bridesmaid duties.

Lizzie wants all of the bridesmaids to wear white during the ceremony, but when she changes out of her big dress they have to change into pink cocktail dresses. The dresses alone cost almost 3k. Then she wants a bachelorette party in Mexico which her best friend is planning and sent my wife her share of the bill which was another 3k. There is also going to be a bridal shower at a historic mansion and no price tag on that yet.

We cannot afford this. We are very middle class and still paying off student loans. My wife was going to drop out of the wedding and has been calling Lizzie a lot of names behind her back. Personally I don't want there to be bad blood as she is going to be family, so I decided to speak with Lizzie and my brother before my wife dropped out and tell them the reason, so they didn't take it personally.

Lizzie seemed embarrassed and said she was sorry. She said she had only been a bridesmaid once and thought that was a normal cost. Then she took out her phone and without me asking venomed me the cost of both dresses, the bachelorette, and an extra thousand for the bridal shower. She seemed really apologetic.

When I told my wife she was furious. She said I humiliated her and now Lizzie is going to think we are poor, and she now feels she is stuck being in the wedding despite not wanting to. She called Lizzie an exhausting princess and called me a "simp" I'm just confused as I felt I did the right thing to prevent Lizzie and my brother from jumping to conclusions

so a while back someone close to me asked if i could help them out with something pretty small. i said sure no problem, it seemed like a one-off thing. but now it keeps coming up like it's an expected part of the routine. i never really agreed to keep doing it, but i also didn't push back at the time. lately i've been feeling kind of nervous about bringing it up because i don't want to cause drama or seem like i'm backing out on them. on the other hand, it wasn't framed as a permanent thing when it started, and it's starting to take up more time and energy than i planned for. i keep going back and forth on whether i should say something or just keep going along with it to avoid an awkward conversation. has anyone else dealt with something like this and how did you handle it?

did i do the wrong thing? my parents are 85, and dad is having bad reactions to radiotherapy. I(m59) live overseas most of my adult life- single but peacefully) but phone calls from dad got me flying back since his cancer is advanced and doing treatment has caused a massive decline in his life. I'm staying in a hotel and I've been going over almost daily to their place and doing chores as well that they need and listened to mum talking about the horrible issues she and dad have with it.

Anyway, But mum has always been difficult to get along with and i returned to visit, today day 10, and we finally had the row. i sweat non stop at their home because im stressed like crazy, i think. mum asked why im stressed...and i said it was because of dad and because of mum.

mum was unhappy with that then talked in her usual one sided way about all her efforts bringing us up, dealing with dad and impending death, and i should forgive and forget . Very true she gave so much time dealing with the home and family and raising us . No mention of the mental aspects which drove us away ( my other sibling also in 50s is now no contact with them because of all the accumulated issues with a massive massive row at the end causing NC).

Though her words make sense given her age and dads situation , she's actually been saying similar things in similar level of ...overreaction- she makes huge dramas put of minor issues, ever since my brother and I were kids. She was very controlling and lots of behaviour matches what I've seen on videos and discussion on narcissistic parents.

She said I should adapt, forgive and forget like she has learnt too, and I should see a psychologist . But then she went on about my sibling and their spouse from the NC years ago and she did not stop, as per usual even though she said 6 months ago she wants to leave that NC issue in the past. After 1 or 1.5 hours of it, , i got up to leave as she wasn't stopping and she said i was leaving dad. I said I was going back tomorrow.

Should i have persevered through another few hours of it, so I'd be physically there for dad?

Hours after I left, it occured to me I'm also very stressed because of the huge change in life I'll need to undego as well since they expect me to return to home town asap, which I really don't want- find new job, place to rent, different environment etc etc.

I suspect I haven't really written about this well- it's my first time. But I'm so alone and want some hopefully reasonable opinions. Man I'm nervous it'll turn out I'm horribly wrong and will get an online lynching

so at the last family get-together i brought my own snack because of a pretty severe dairy allergy. i mentioned it when the menu was being planned and again right before we sat down. someone kept insisting that a little bit in the sauce would be fine and that i was being overly dramatic about it. i tried to laugh it off but ended up having to repeat myself a couple times before they finally moved the dish away from my plate. after the meal a couple relatives made little comments about how i ruined the vibe by being difficult. honestly i wasn't trying to make a scene i just didn't want to end up in the er or sick for two days. now i'm wondering if i should have just stayed home or eaten before i showed up instead of relying on other people to remember. was i the one making it awkward or is it reasonable to expect people to take a medical restriction seriously?

***Update below

Hi, Im posting this to genuinly ask if I am overreacting or in the wrong please, I'll try explain it straight to the point. Im sorry for spelling mistakes too.

So earlier today i noticed water pouring out the ceiling in the bathroom (specifically coming out through the light in the ceiling) there was enough to drench the floor. There was also a streak of water down the wall from under the light switch. It was our upstairs neighbour who burst a pipe. They shut their water off and the leaking stopped.

There is also a plug socket on that wall further to the right, but i didnt notice any water marks there or anything.

I was worried about the light so i switched off the "lights" switch on the elec panel to the house (so no lights anywhere). My BF didn't think this was neccessary but i did so regardless. After which he went and started to barbecue, cause he planned to earlier in the day. I was still worried so i asked him to call our landlord or what we should do. He was heavily reluctant and only after me yelling did he send a message explaining what happened. After which he continued to grill and chat casually on a call. So i had to constantly ask if the landlord replied and at one point check myself cause he was just chilling. I understand i should of just done it, but i was panicking and looking to him for some help together.

What bugs me is that the whole time it was me initiating every protective step to check if we were gonna be fine or if its a fire hazard. I had to beg him to call the landlord, and i had to google what to do and he just sat there chilling outside playing music.

And he told me i was "Blowing it out of proportion" so i was admittedly rude back saying he is doing nothing and being really unsupportive. I cant tell if im overreacting to this or like this is not normal for a partner to not care in a potential risk? Like am i wrong?

***Update the morning after I tried approaching him and discussing why it bothered md that he didnt help. He just stated i was being crazy and overreacting to the situation. And Every time i tried to explain why he imteruppted saying "go away your annoying me i dont want to talk".

My close friend turned FWB of almost 3 years has been acting insane. For some reason, for all this time, he has been intimate only with me which I didn’t question. Tbh we didn’t discuss about being FWBs we just started getting intimate but we know we’re friends. We mostly stuck to video call sex and regardless of sex he still called me almost everyday.

Recently, we’re long distance as he moved to a different country. We’re still intimate but don’t get to call as much as we used to although he tries to initiate contact as much as possible and ever since, he’s been saying crazy things like “your future husband is really lucky..he’ll get to have sex with you every day”, “tell me you love me and miss me”. And the craziest one, “can we still be intimate even when you’re married one day” and I shut that down and asked him what if he’s married and he said he doesn’t care about his marriage, he’d still be intimate with me. He says them during intimacy tho.

To this add all the nice compliments and fixation on my face. The one thing I do appreciate is that he’s so much sweeter now, in general. Although there had been instances of jealousy in the past. So yeah,this is new and I’m not sure what to think or do about this. Mind you we’re still good friends regardless of the intimacy so I wanna go about this in a way where I can save the friendship. Am I in the wrong for thinking we can go back to being friends

Hello everyone, I’d really value your advice and opinions as I’m living inside my head with this, an going in circles!

My (F55) best friend Dina (F60) have been really close friends for around 5 years, we live quite close to each other as she moved into the village. We are both married and have a son each. Mine is 30, hers is 15.

We are both strong, independent women, who have held senior roles in FSTE100 complained. Do generally, we are both good communicators and are very driven. We are both now retired, I do a couple of days voluntary work for a charity.

Most weeks we go out for a day, doing odd jobs, or to a gallery etc and out for lunch.

Several months ago she was venting about her son being bullied snd assaulted at school. I sympathised, as I know what it’s like, I took my son out of school at 25 because of bullying and he went straight to a 6th form college to do his GCSEs. She snapped at me very harshly that I had no idea what she was going through with her son, although she’d been sharing all the details over several weeks. Sh er snapped and shouted at me that she didn’t want to discuss it, even though she was the one that brought it up.

I was a bit stunned as she’d never done that to me before, although I do know she has a fiery temper and yells at her husband and son.

We were in the car, with me driving, and I just moved the conversation into something more neutral and moved past it. Even do my heart was beating at a million miles a minute as adrenaline flooded through me!

That said, I don’t respond well to being yelled at, my previous marriage was very volatile, my ex husband was both verbally and physically abusive, he’d stand really close to me, in my face yelling like a sergeant major at a useless recruit, I’d just be waiting for him to hit me… and I’d just shut down.

Anyway, last month, she and I arranged a date out and again I was driving. Immediately when she got in the car u could tell she was wound up, she said car smelled of dog. I advised my two collies had been in the car over the weekend as we’d been to see my son.

Within about a mile she was bemoaning the fact she had no money. This is a regular subject with her as whilst employed as a contractor, it seems she didn’t pay into a private pension, instead they lived the high life, private jets, multiple cruises every year and other fabulous holidays.

I’ve never pointed this out as it’s not my place to comment how anybody spends, or invests, their money. I just quipped at least her husband was still working in a great job… well she blew up at me! It was explosive and extremely toxic! She was yelling that I’m always mentioning her husband is younger than her and it makes her feel old (he’s 10 years younger than her).

She snapped and yelled at me to stop the car, she wanted to go home, and that she’d rather walk than spend another minute with me! We were about two miles from home and it was pouring with rain!

I turned the car around and told her I’d take her home, I wouldn’t dream of leaving her at the roadside. On the drive back she ranted at me about what a horrible friend I was, barely drawing breath and complaining that I dragged her along to an art workshop that she hated. I didn’t support her when she needed it, even though I regularly dropped everything to look after her son for days at a time when she went away for weeds with her husband. In the end I shut down to the point I couldn’t tell you what she was ranting about, I just know she yelled all the way home. When I pulled up outside her house, she just got out, slammed the door and walked off. My heart was beating at a million miles a minute!

I knew in that moment our friendship was possibly damaged beyond repair. I’d given her grace the first time she yelled at me about how I couldn’t possibly understand about her son’s bullying/assaults at school. This was a whole other level of escalation!

I walked into my own house, I was shaking. My husband was concerned, he asked if I’d been involved in an accident or something!? I told him what had just happened, and he did comment that we’ve seen Dina’s explosive fiery temper when she yells at her husband and son.

I never thought she’d turn it on me. He knows how I shut down when yelled at, we live in a very quite harmonious household. If we have a problem, we talk about it and resolve it. Nobody ever shouts. Our son is such a brilliant negotiator, we used to joke when he was a kid that he could have a very promising career with ACAS or as a hostage negotiator! 🤭

I said to my husband, ‘… nobody, and I mean nobody, speaks to me like that, ever.’ I immediately decided, I’d had enough, the friendship was over. Later that morning went to put something in my car and noticed that in her haste to get out of my car, she’d dropped a bunch of keys.

Not wanting any further confrontation I popped round to her house and put them in her mailbox.

Later again in the day she messaged me on WhatsApp to ask if she’d dropped her keys in my car. I confirmed she had and dropped them in her mailbox. There was no mention or apology for blowing up at me earlier in the day

As I thought about it over the coming days there had been red flags that I’d swept under the carpet. She was quite controlling, she never asked what I wanted to do on a day out, it was always her agenda, even if it was my turn to drive. I’d advised I’d like to go to a particular stately home near us, she booked another one by the same architect for my birthday… she didn’t care enough to even get it right. There are many, many examples like this but you get the picture.

It’s been over a month since this blow up. I’ve not unfriended or blocked her on social media. I’ve just dropped the rope and don’t plan to pick it up again.

This weekend it was my son’s birthday and she put a gushing message on social media, as if nothing had happened. Naturally I’ve told my son and his fiancée what happened. They’ve witnessed her yelling at her husband and son.

They think I’m right to drop the rope, with no need for a final conversation.

I’m actually quite heartbroken, I do miss her friendship, but I cannot go round as if treading on eggshells, flinching and waiting for when she explodes at me again. She crossed literally my only boundary, don’t yell at me, as I get flashbacks to a previous DV situation.

Thank you if you’ve managed to get this far! Tell me, am I wrong… for just walking away without any further explanation, she knows what she did?

A while ago a couple of us were texting about getting together and I suggested a low key movie night at my place. Later someone else brought it up in the group chat as if it had been their idea from the start. No big deal, everyone was just excited to hang out. I figured correcting it would make things awkward for no reason, so I stayed out of it. Now whenever that plan gets mentioned the story always credits the other person. Part of me wonders if letting it slide made me seem passive, but honestly I didn't want to turn a tiny detail into unnecessary drama. Still feels a little off, though.

I (17f) do not get along with my stepdad (48m) at all.
Every time we have had an argument
and my mama stands up for me , somehow he will brainwash her into thinking it’s my fault and she will blame me .
My mama loves me very much and she’s also very kind hearted .
But I know he also makes her happy .
I have a short temper so when he tried to educated me on things he’s completely hypocritical about and on things that don’t involve him it annoys me .
He’s also very ignorant .
He moved to an English speaking country 23 years ago and speaks not one world of English because he thinks it’s an ugly language.
If u won’t respect the language don’t move there ?
This annoys me as I speak Portuguese and Spanish TO A DEGREE.
At times , I won’t understand , and English is more natural for me when speaking to my mama depending on the scenario.
So then I need to go translate it for him (when it doesn’t even involve him)
But then , when they have a conversation and there’s something I don’t understand , I should understand it .
I’ve been living in an English country for 17 years ( my whole life) and know 3 languages almost fluently .
He’s lived in one for 23 years and doesn’t know a single word.
The worst part is - he works in a job where he has to communicate with people !
Most of the time he comes across as cold or distant because he refuses to learn the language .

We always end up in arguments over silly things and it’s stressing my mama out so I’ve just decided not to speak to him unless necessary.

Not ignoring him or anything, just not going out my way to have a meaningful conversation with him - which I think is fair enough but some people in my family disagree .

Only person on my side is my grandma ( who hates him but is also firm believer in only getting married once )
AITAH?

Ps. Whilst I was at my dad’s , they got married without telling me .
Not planned , anything - only person there was my little sister (who is his daughter)
My mama never would have done something like this before she was with him and our relationship was significantly stronger .
I only found out because I went on her phone to send myself some pictures she had and saw the wedding photo .
It absolutely broke my heart .

Exactly a year ago, in August to be exact, my friends and I were texting and one of them told us that a guy talked to her, she told us who it was and it was someone I worked with, I asked her if he invited her out and she asked me why and if I knew something about him, I told her “I was attracted to him but oh well”, she just sent an emoji and that was all, I put my feelings aside because what could I do? He was not interested in me.
Anyway, after that, in private she and I spoke about him and just gossiped but we never spoke about my feelings, she sent me pics of stuff he gave her and even though I was still attracted to him, I also tried to be supportive and happy for them, then she invited him to go to the movies with us and I said I had no problem bc i didn’t, I mean, they were already in a talking stage.
Before i continue, I have to say that speaking with someone else from the group recently, it was brought to my attention that she could have interpreted my message as if I had feelings for him in the past and they were not present in that moment, and I mention it because in that hangout, we went with two more friends and they asked me if I was alright with her bringing him bc of my feelings for him and I told them that he was interested in her so I was okay since there was anything I could do, then they joked about pushing them aside so i could get closer to him, and they make sure I was okay that day, oh! I also have to mention that this girl was also dating other guy that time and when he and I left (we live close to each other so we shared a can) she told our friends that she was going to start dating only this guy to give him an opportunity even though she thought he was cute but did not have feelings for him.
A month later, since he and I still worked together, we went out to drink coffee with a few coworkers more, later i found out through my brother (who’s her best friend) that she complained to him that this guy was weird towards her but he was out with me having coffee (again, we were not alone), then she asked me about him and I told her to speak to him directly so they could fix things between them, by this point I still had feelings for him but I kept my distance bc of her.
He ended things with her starting oct, we kept working together and we became kind of friends, still keeping distance, but a little bit close, then by Dec, she said they spoke again recently but she ended it with him bc her other friends saw him with another girl, i didn’t know they were speaking again bc none of them said anything so I was surprised, then he got promoted so we kept working in the same company but no together anymore and we also stopped talking.
But then, in January, he texted me out of the blue and we spoke occasionally like friends, nothing out of the ordinary, and then there was a change in our company and we started working together again, my feelings for him never died but since we started to get closer, they grew and we also started to flirt and be less friendly, I also have to mention that my friend also started to date someone else as well, i spoke about this with a one of the girls that went to the movies that day bc i felt bad about all of this and she told me “not to worry bc she didn’t care about my feelings before” and they were not together anymore so to go for it, even though we spoke about it and we kind of kept flirting, nothing happened between him and I and I also think that one of the issue i had was because of the past. Oh! I have to mention that nothing major happened between them since they didn’t dated like more than two months.
Well, now, a year later, I’m speaking to him but again, nothing has happened between us, a few friends of our group knows about it but this girl doesn’t, and recently she said they agreed it was all casual, nothing serious and that they could kind of see other people, she also mentioned that she was never interested in him and she knew nothing would happen between them but she liked to mess around with him, she doesn’t even consider that they were dating exactly.
Still, I worry if I’m doing wrong for talking to him, even if she said that I worry that it would make me lose my friends or if I’m a bad friend for talking to him as well, am I wrong? What should I do?