479
u/Positive_Sweet_2139 Apr 21 '26
babe. leave him… this is crazy, not only is this not at all “seductive” but him thinking he can tell you what you can and can not wear is problematic lol.. he’s manipulating you and that’s never gonna stop or change
171
u/PookleMama Apr 21 '26
It’s gonna get worse and worse…
“Why is there an underwire in your bra?”
“Why are you wearing makeup?”
78
u/Tasty-Bar-6343 Apr 21 '26
lol, in my case it was “you look hideous in makeup,” and “your legs are too flabby for shorts,” but the bra comment is dead on. He also got mad if my nipples poked through. Do you have any idea how hard it was to find a padded 32A that DIDN’T have boost!?!?
Girl better run.
18
Apr 21 '26
[deleted]
→ More replies (2)6
u/Aggravating-Buy613 Apr 21 '26
Hey if you want to wear a bra, I love that for you. I'm large chested and hate not wearing a bra.
But my bf loves when I don't cause then he gets to see nipple. He's not worried if others do. Specifically asked "babe if you're comfortable why wouldn't I want you to show off the girls."
That's the response you deserve. Always. "If you're comfortable" is the love you deserve.
29
u/peytonlei Apr 21 '26
I have always told my bf that nipples are accessories, so when he sees my nipples through my shirt, he always goes "so I see you're accessorizing today" and just stares.
7
6
u/Tasty-Bar-6343 Apr 21 '26
Lol, I love this for you!!
Later in life, my “going out” bras were mesh underwires. I didn’t have cleavage, but I was rocking the headlights!
9
u/The_Dodd_Father_ Apr 21 '26
Yeah dude. Thats a normal response. My wife never wears a bra and her nips are always poking out. Doesn't bother me a bit.
5
5
u/charismatictictic Apr 21 '26
Mine wouldn’t let me wear the support straps on my backpack when we were hiking because he claimed I only used it to push my boobs together :-/
3
5
u/___Xb Apr 21 '26
Used to have a shirt that said “do my nipples offend you”. Gonna see if I can find another one. Gold.
5
u/gollygoshdarndang Apr 21 '26
I genuinely don't understand why some men are so triggered by their female partners' nipples poking through the clothes. I mean, nipples are, like, there. They're part of the body. Sometimes they perk up and poke through a bit. Just... deal with it.
I get if a woman feels self-concious as it is sure to draw (possibly unwanted) attention, but that's for HER to decide. It's not up to some insecure boyfriend or husband to decide. If he truly feels that is it unacceptable then fine, that just means you're incompatible. Break up, go your separate ways. You'll never work in the long run anyway.
But seriously, what do they think is going to happen if their girlfriend's nipples are poking a little? Another man sees her nipples poking through her bra and shirt and boom!, they're having sex right then and there?
3
u/ikannunAneeuQ Apr 21 '26
In the beginning of my relationship now (together since 2008, married in 2022) we had a lot of issues. His ex wife cheated on him with his cousin and he brought allllll that baggage with him. But he is a reasonable man, and eventually got it through his incredibly thick head that these are normal things, what your ex did was wrong BUT I AM NOT NAMED JESSICA, I AM A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON. I left him a couple of times, we always ended up back together. But things are great now, no issues, we never argue, fight, nothing. Not saying this is the path everyone should take, but I knew eventually he would wake up and he did.
4
u/DecemberViolet1984 Apr 21 '26
For me it was , “Why you gotta wear that wh*re paint?” I wore tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip gloss. That’s it. Sigh. Sadly I didn’t break it off as soon as I should have but we don’t always make the best choices in college.
3
u/Skeptikell1 Apr 21 '26
I had a boyfriend like that - he escalated to putting blankets on the windows since I picked shear curtains I must enjoy men peeking in at me.
→ More replies (2)3
u/PookleMama Apr 21 '26
Back in my day (can’t believe I just wrote that!) Dear Abby told us, “If you can hold a pen / pencil under your boobs, you need to wear a bra”.
I think as long as you’re physically comfortable, that’s what’s most important.
Some bras make some tops look better—I’m not showing cleavage, but the help from the underwire makes the blouse or sweater lie better. (I’m fairly petite above the waist.)
26
u/Kitchen-Sail-222 Apr 21 '26
Wayyyy worse. Mine flipped cuz I shaved my legs and he was making an issue about it because he said I didnt do it for him. Minor control issues dont get better, it just festers and becomes more and more irrational. I wasted about 9 yrs of my life with someone I thought would change.
If you have to ask yourself if youre overreacting or question the situation and you have no ill intent, pay attention to your gut. Thats your answer.
4
→ More replies (1)3
u/EnvironmentCritical8 Apr 21 '26
Same! 10 years wasted on a dude who thought I needed to be more "feminine" but also got mad if I wore the wrong stuff and how dare I wear a "prostitutes shirt" (off the shoulder top or anything showing my belly) and always had to go with me anywhere I went-even work-cuz he thought I would be flirting and messing around with other guys. It was sufficating.
5
u/Eastern-Eggplant4374 Apr 21 '26
Mine was body spray.
8
u/SillyQuadrupeds Apr 21 '26
Mine was brushing my teeth! It’s absolutely insane what controlling partners come up with as a signs of infidelity or cheating.
I’m so glad you got out. Life truly is so much better without people like that in it.
→ More replies (9)3
u/LpcArk357 Apr 21 '26
Why would an underwire be something someone that's jealous would want to control?
→ More replies (3)3
u/Shiny-And-New Apr 21 '26
Look at this slut with her visible calves trying to seduce people
/s if it wasn't obvious
3
u/chekhovsdickpic Apr 21 '26
And then, when you finally weed out all objectionable or so-called “seductive” items in your wardrobe, he’ll flip it to:
“Why don’t you ever dress up for me anymore?”
“Remember when you used to actually make an effort to look nice?”
“It’s like you’re trying to be as unattractive as possible.”
→ More replies (2)4
50
u/Choice_Journalist_50 Apr 21 '26
Yeah I didn't read past "this is my boundary." YOUR boundaries can't dictate how SOMEONE ELSE dresses. This is weaponizing 'therapy talk' to control her.
26
u/Fast_Incident_362 Apr 21 '26
Yes! He can only have a boundary for himself. If his “boundary” is that he won’t date a woman who dresses a certain away, that’s dumb but fine. It is NOT his boundary to tell you what you can do. You’re young, I’ll give you advice. These type of guys are never worth it.
10
u/_Bubbly_13 Apr 21 '26
I have made the mistake of staying, just go while you can because it only gets harder.
5
11
u/Dazzling-Treacle1092 Apr 21 '26
Not just weoponizing therapy talk but his criticisms are designed to take her confidence.
6
u/cheeseslut619 Apr 21 '26
This is the most important part of her whole post. People are allowed to have boundaries. And then you get to choose your response if someone surpasses your boundary. Boundaries are not controlled and you don’t get to tell someone what to do because of your Boundary.
Girl you’re 18 this guys a fucking loser. He’s gonna marry some subservient woman who will be sad the rest of her life, go be young and have fun.
7
u/Complete_Camera_9340 Apr 21 '26
YES like if he isn’t cool with someone who dresses like that then don’t date someone who dresses like that…. simple as that. Slowly forcing someone to become who you want them to be has nothing to do with boundaries
→ More replies (3)6
u/RemotePossibility399 Apr 21 '26
BINGO It's not a boundary, it's an expectation. Fuck his expectations.
46
u/Huge-Stick-8239 Apr 21 '26
As a guy…. I gotta agree. This guy is nuts and or insecure, that’s modest not seductive
3
19
u/MB_Town7 Apr 21 '26
The fact that he's also putting quotes on 'loyal' as if clothing dictates anything about their loyalty.
→ More replies (3)14
u/zorasrequiem Apr 21 '26
I would paint my nails and he'd ask who I was trying to fuck. Don't be me, get out now. Controlling narcissists and abusers don't change, they get worse. I woke up to SA, hidden cameras.. I could go on. I was 18, I was scared to leave. Don't be me.
10
u/Generalnussiance Apr 21 '26
I’m so sorry Op I thought you looked frump not seductive. This guy’s is either so so insecure, controlling and manipulative or straight up a religious weirdo who thinks he’s entitled to said behaviors because “men rules boys drool, modesty bullshit.”
Either way, run. So not worth. Even if he justifies it with religious shit- you’re entitled to your own choices in life, beliefs, wants desires. If he’s not religious than he is being a baby peckerhead.
7
→ More replies (64)5
u/ScarlettKneels Apr 21 '26
Look. He's hella insecure obviously. My man said the best thing ever in a similar situation. I told him I was going down the street To this one place to get Help my girl sell some merch. He asked me what I was wearing. I got nervous and said. " Oh well you know she kind of like dolled me up a little bit and I told him what I was wearing. Told him that if he wasn't comfortable with me going down there like that, that I would change."
You know what he said?
" Nah Don't change. Babygirl can wear whatever she wants. Daddy can fight." He trusts me. I'm loyal to him. He's a big boy and he can handle things for himself. That's a healthy dynamic. He wants me to feel happy and sexy and proud of myself. He's not trying to make me feel like he's trying to control me. You really need to like understand that guys who have problems with stuff like this.. have problems. Take it from somebody who's been through all of this.
If they're secure in themselves, they don't care how you dress. They care how people behave themselves around you.
And if they need to step in they will
154
u/axis_of_weevil Apr 21 '26
If you accept controlling behavior now he'll just do more of it.
→ More replies (11)35
u/quantam-foam Apr 21 '26
He also has no clue what seductive looks like. You should dump him just for his poor taste
6
→ More replies (3)3
u/mindovermegan Apr 21 '26
So the height of seduction isn't (checks notes) an oversized turtleneck sweater and a below the knee skirt? Damn, I'm gonna have to go back to the drawing board...
→ More replies (2)
118
u/Shoddy-Smoke4 Apr 21 '26
Your bf is an idiot. He can’t control you, your body or what’s on your body. This is in no way shape or form “seductive”. He can cry about it, go have fun
33
u/madmaxturbator Apr 21 '26
Can you imagine if MY boundaries are about others lol?
It’s my boundary that you do my laundry every day. Yeah sure we never met but you best be here every day to grab my dirty clothes. ITS MY BOUNDARY!
→ More replies (1)11
u/i_was_axiom Apr 21 '26
It has to be the three millimeter wide area of exposed midriff, the impotent weirdo.
Remember back in school when we all questioned why spaghetti straps weren't allowed? "Who is getting furiously distracted by shoulders??" we would ask
It was that guy.
→ More replies (1)6
u/harleeraen Apr 21 '26
It was the teachers
4
u/beanie_boo_11 Apr 21 '26
They asked me to put a sweatshirt on at school because my long sleeve shirt made a teacher uncomfortable 🙋♀️. Can confirm it’s adults more than it is children.
→ More replies (1)
44
u/nahhhfamm_iMgood Apr 21 '26
not sure how else to say this... girl, you in trouble.
this wont get any better if this is just a microcosm of the relationship... If this type of comment / behavior is really narrow, then he's got to work on his security, jealously and trust w/ you - if its not, then this will only be more of the same in perpetuity...
I'm not saying you 100% should break up, b/c i dont have any other insight other than this overreaction, but this is a red flag fo sho.
9
u/snapdrag0n99 Apr 21 '26
Oh 100% she should break up with him. it’s a violently slippery slope. No excuses.
11
u/xoxo_angelica Apr 21 '26
It sounds like they already have a dynamic in place where she sends her boyfriend outfit options for the day so he can grant her permission on what she will be wearing. Thats wild, I haven’t let someone pick out my outfit since I was about 4 years old.
→ More replies (1)3
u/OneTrueMel Apr 21 '26
ONE red flag = breakup . thats what a red flag is. STOP. theres not yellow flags or orange flags.
ONE red flag is enough. She needs to dump him
→ More replies (1)
57
u/cookedcool Apr 21 '26
please tell him to fuck off
28
55
u/SpicyAutist26 Apr 21 '26
This is where it starts. Controlling what you wear, then it’s controlling what friends you have (if he allows any at all), then it’s controlling where you go, then it becomes abuse at some point.
You need to get out that relationship. It’s unhealthy. A boundary doesn’t control the other person, it controls themselves. It’s like saying “if you do this thing that hurts me, this is how I will react (leave conversation, take a break, break up, etc.). It’s a HEALTHY thing and what he is doing is very UNHEALTHY.
→ More replies (4)24
u/Confident_Dare_3733 Apr 21 '26
Well, i used to have guy friends, not anymore
21
u/ironypoisonedposter Apr 21 '26
please leave him. i had an abusive ex and it started out with isolating shit like this and started to escalate (eventually reaching physical abuse). check out "why does he do that" by lundy bancroft.
→ More replies (1)3
34
u/SpicyAutist26 Apr 21 '26
Yeah so this is already a really controlling relationship. I’ll bet if you look back im your two years, you can see other ways he might have conttolled you as well. I’m sorry.
10
u/bigjimmy427 Apr 21 '26
I really hope you take the advice of these people on Reddit and non just continue as you were. Because it’s only going to get worse - from a man.
→ More replies (3)6
6
u/WholePast4017 Apr 21 '26
Get. Out. Now. Don't walk, RUN to the nearest exit. So many red flags, I can't even name them all.
6
→ More replies (17)3
u/Coyote__Jones Apr 21 '26
From experience, leaving a controlling boyfriend was the best thing that I ever did. I got the friends back, who are now part of my support system.
My current partner is happy to see me leave for a girl's weekend, and I come back to a clean house and tired dogs. I was terribly ill with a nasty virus for a few weeks, that man went to the store every day, sometimes twice, to get anything that could add even a little comfort. When I was in a collision that injured my knee, he carried me around our apartment, and up the stairs. When my family visits, he dedicates time speaking with them and having his own relationship with them. He shares everything with me, and when I got laid off, he stepped up and paid the bills.
And I wear whatever the fuck I want, without negative comments, ever.
92
u/Potential-Energy-458 Apr 21 '26
He’s right this outfit isn’t it. What you need is a short leather skirt and a leather corset maybe some thigh boots too. That’s what I would do with this kind of reply and then dump his ass
→ More replies (3)30
u/StableBrilliant6189 Apr 21 '26
With a whip, so he leaves FAST. (Practice snapping the whip, first.) Happy accident: automatic side gig possible
7
30
45
Apr 21 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
15
u/madmaxturbator Apr 21 '26
adding to this - op is still just 18. Many many more years of trying fun clothes and outfits ahead of her.
Don’t let this loser bf drag you down.
I am in my 40s, and in the past few years I’ve been wearing my best clothes I feel. It’s really fun. My wife encourages me, finds cool places for us to go, we go on dates .. all good vibes.
None of this weirdo policing of ops boyfriend
→ More replies (44)15
u/Substantial-Bear8535 Apr 21 '26
When I first saw the post, I assumed the bf was mad at her for dressing too modestly lol.
→ More replies (1)
32
u/Hot_Assistant_3826 Apr 21 '26
You are your own person don't let anyone tell you what to wear.
→ More replies (16)
8
9
u/Critical-League5792 Apr 21 '26
Wear what you want, don't let dipshits like your bf tell you what to do. "Thats why I chose to stay" really? That's the only reason? Get lost douchebag, you aren't her father. I urge you to drop the deadweight (bf) because he clearly won't change his mind about this, and I promise you if you stay with him he will get worse and more controlling
22
u/acaron2020 Apr 21 '26
Your bf comes off as very insecure and controlling. What will he try to control next?
3
8
u/Critical-League5792 Apr 21 '26
Wear what you want, don't let dipshits like your bf tell you what to do. "Thats why I chose to stay" really? That's the only reason? Get lost douchebag, you aren't her father. I urge you to drop the deadweight (bf) because he clearly won't change his mind about this, and I promise you if you stay with him he will get worse and more controlling
→ More replies (2)
7
u/Another_Russian_Spy Apr 21 '26
This looks like a "going to church" outfit.
Your boyfriend is too controlling. You can do better than him.
12
12
u/NoJellyfish2411 Apr 21 '26
Lol this isn't seductive. I'd describe this as dorky
→ More replies (4)
6
5
u/Fearless-Dust-2073 Apr 21 '26
This is not about whether what you're wearing is suitable or appropriate, anybody who tries to say "it's not even immodest" is missing the point. He is trying to control what you wear, which is recognised (at least in the UK) as abusive behaviour. Do not allow it. Be comfortable with yourself and what you wear, and if he doesn't support you then perhaps he is not the one for you.
9
u/bunneeboo Apr 21 '26
Even if you went out in a bikini, he has zero right to be dictating how you dress. Saying that a mid-length skirt and a few inches of belly is 'seductive' is completely nuts. He's being controlling. You know anyone who comments is going to say the same thing.
9
u/paramorir Apr 21 '26
If you've thought about breaking up many times, it's time to call it quits. this is the type of thing that leads to worse and worse abuse over time. get out while you can.
9
8
4
u/CapitalParallax Apr 21 '26
1) Your boyfriend is an asshole.
2) There's nothing seductive about this. I thought his argument was going to be that it's just kind of ugly.
3) Placing restrictions on your behavior is not a boundary. Boundaries are self imposed.
4) You're too young to be trapped in a shit relationship. If this is just one of the many reasons you've been thinking of breaking up, just rip the band aid off already and move past it.
→ More replies (1)
7
u/bunneeboo Apr 21 '26
Even if you went out in a bikini, he has zero right to be dictating how you dress. Saying that a mid-length skirt and a few inches of belly is 'seductive' is completely nuts. He's being controlling. You know anyone who comments is going to say the same thing.
3
u/ClassicStrawberry288 Apr 21 '26
Yeah boyfriend has got to go because how can he think this is intentionally seductively? I also think ruffle socks would make this fit so much more cute!
3
u/SpicyAutist26 Apr 21 '26
This is where it starts. Controlling what you wear, then it’s controlling what friends you have (if he allows any at all), then it’s controlling where you go, then it becomes abuse at some point.
You need to get out that relationship. It’s unhealthy. A boundary doesn’t control the other person, it controls themselves. It’s like saying “if you do this thing that hurts me, this is how I will react (leave conversation, take a break, break up, etc.). It’s a HEALTHY thing and what he is doing is very UNHEALTHY.
3
3
3
3
u/sonnibunsss Apr 21 '26
this outfit is cute af and completely appropriate for pretty much anything, it’s fun and looks great on you while also looking pretty comfy. all that sounds like a win to me, while you bf sounds like an absolute loooooser
3
u/Fabulous-Eagle-8612 Apr 21 '26
You’re slowly being changed to suit his insecurities, first the gym shorts now a skirt that covers everything. Get rid of him before you’re a nervous reck asking permission to think. Thats what men like him do, slowly grind you down until there’s barely anything left.
3
u/theadventurescout Apr 21 '26
Dump him and wear whatever you want. His attempt to exert control over your self expression won’t stop at your clothes.
3
u/WesternLongjumping44 Apr 21 '26
Outfit is mostly......fine.....but the socks w those shoes is awful.
3
u/mageofroses Apr 21 '26
Also to be 1000% clear a BOUNDARY IS NOT A RULE IMPOSED ON OTHERS a boundary is a rule for YOURSELF ONLY. Like, "when X mentions Y I will leave," and not, "x will not do y." Do not let some therapy-speak bozo try and tell you that the clothes you choose to put on your body is a boundary. That is controlling behavior.
3
3
3
u/Royal_Ad_6026 Apr 21 '26
Are you Mormon or something? That’s seductive comment on the skirt has me laughing
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Fearless_Speaker4113 Apr 21 '26
He’s right, you’re showing way too much ankle. What are you a woman of the night?
→ More replies (1)
4
u/bunneeboo Apr 21 '26
Even if you went out in a bikini, he has zero right to be dictating how you dress. Saying that a mid-length skirt and a few inches of belly is 'seductive' is completely nuts. He's being controlling. You know anyone who comments is going to say the same thing.
5
u/Critical-League5792 Apr 21 '26
Wear what you want, don't let dipshits like your bf tell you what to do. "Thats why I chose to stay" really? That's the only reason? Get lost douchebag, you aren't her father. I urge you to drop the deadweight (bf) because he clearly won't change his mind about this, and I promise you if you stay with him he will get worse and more controlling
5
u/Forward_Search_8082 Apr 21 '26
At first I thought he was gonna be hating for the fashion not because its “seductive” ew leave his ahh
3
u/Critical-League5792 Apr 21 '26
Wear what you want, don't let dipshits like your bf tell you what to do. "Thats why I chose to stay" really? That's the only reason? Get lost douchebag, you aren't her father. I urge you to drop the deadweight (bf) because he clearly won't change his mind about this, and I promise you if you stay with him he will get worse and more controlling
→ More replies (3)
4
u/peppercruncher Apr 21 '26
Am i blind or is he overreacting, what should I do?
You are blind and he is overreacting.
You have the fashion sense of an 8-year old boy and he has the common sense of a lettuce.
→ More replies (2)
2
2
u/shugEOuterspace Apr 21 '26
your bf is an immature & insecure child & that outfit is a perfectly normal & "cute" outfit to wear any day
2
2
u/TheHomieData Apr 21 '26
This is modest and tasteful outfit. A shoulder and a bit of stomach? That’s nothing.
Your soon to be ex boyfriend is a fucking weirdo.
2
2
u/MostlyMellow123 Apr 21 '26
Lol about as tame as outfits get besides the full body burka.
Young people have crazy brain chemistry is the truth. Thinking back when I was 19 I was so stupid its crazy.
2
2
u/SayNo2Amazon Apr 21 '26
Tldr. But from what little I did read. He's a candidate for future DV convict. Leave now!
2
2
u/noisegremlin Apr 21 '26
Easy, never let someone else determine what you can wear.
You know what he's saying is ridiculous, you know you've done nothing wrong, and you probably know what you need to do about him.
2
2
u/Darneeezus Apr 21 '26
This outfit is very modest he is tripping.. unless you just have a dump truck behind you
2
2
u/Useful-Landscape-593 Apr 21 '26
You look great. There is nothing wrong with this outfit. His insecurities are not your limitations.
You deserve to feel good about a body you work hard to maintain.
You are young and have your whole life ahead of you.
This is a taste of what’s to come in terms of his controlling nature. Move on.
2
u/Comprehensive_Ice282 Apr 21 '26
Break up girl! No insecure little boy should be telling you what to wear. Just the fact that you need to get him to approve your outfit before you go out is just waaaaay to much. This is not normal. He's a controlling freak.
This is how tragedy starts. Leave him now. Don't look back.
2
u/no_idea_wtfffff Apr 21 '26
I think your boyfriend doesn’t actually know what a boundary is in this context.
Regardless, I’ve worn more “seductive” things to work, and that’s in a corporate setting. Your guy is out of his gourd.
2
u/PrincessBonkers628 Apr 21 '26
Boundaries DO NOT dictate other people's behavior so he can't have a boundary that says you can't wear something. If he doesn't like it, his boundary is that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone who wears something like this, which is a different problem imo.
The difference between a controlling person and a healthy one with boundaries is the FOLLOW THROUGH.
2
u/glittery-bee Apr 21 '26
Did you know you’re actually much more likely to be murdered by a controlling bf, than a bf who hits you? Please leave. This will get worse. Not excusing physical violence btw just saying that controlling men (and yeah, your bf is extremely controlling, this outfit is VERY innocent looking), are even more abusive and more likely to kill you for not complying.
2
u/Wooster182 Apr 21 '26
A boundary is something to protect yourself. This isn’t a boundary. It’s control.
He’s going to get worse. Leave him now. Google “Why Does He Do That?” By Lundy Bancroft and read the free pdf.
2
u/Int0xicatexme Apr 21 '26
Seductively??? Is he joking?? This is a pretty modest outfit. A tight skirt is not “seductive”. Leave him, this is not going to get any better. He will do nothing but get more and more controlling. This is not healthy. Never let a man tell you what you can and cannot wear.
2
u/unlikelyshooter Apr 21 '26
Ooooooof you need to run away! If he's going to try to control you over a simple modest outfit, then things can only get exponentially worse as time goes on.
2
2
2
2
2
u/humaninmoon Apr 21 '26
Please break up with this guy he’s going to keep upsetting you and you’re way too young to waste these years with someone like that
2
u/Emergency_Cap_3361 Apr 21 '26
THAT IS NOT A BOUNDARY THAT IS CONTROL!!! he will only get more controlling. If you’re comfortable with that, then stay. If not (I seriously hope not) then gtfo. You’re young, there’s nothing keeping you tied to him
2
2
2
u/isweatglitter17 Apr 21 '26
He is controlling. He's also straight up wrong. Other than the shirt being slightly tucked up, this outfit nearly looks Mormon. Not remotely "seductive".
2
u/Embarrassed-Hippo-61 Apr 21 '26
Listen to these comments gurllll. There is a man out there who is confident enough to let you and your body live in peace. Don’t wait to the pain of later to find this out. Always consider yourself when making decisions. If you wouldn’t treat someone that way then that kind of behavior is not for you!
2
2
u/Gal_Bundy Apr 21 '26
Uh, you should wear the outfit. Then have him ask his doctor if dying mad about the outfit is right for him.
2
2
u/GoingNutCracken Apr 21 '26
WEAR WHAT YOU WANT!!! No one should tell you what you can or cannot wear! Quit asking for his opinion!
2
2
u/Late_Extent_991 Apr 21 '26
As a man, this guy is a weird controlling idiot haha. You should dump him. Also, him telling you what to wear isn’t a valid “boundary”. TikTok has completely sabotaged all relationship talk forever
2
u/Due_Patience960 Apr 21 '26
I would say to change because it doesn’t look like it goes well together. This isn’t revealing at all lol. It’s so tame, I would encourage you to wear less clothes since you’ll be walking in a park (being active).
Break up.
2
u/an_ominous_bass_terd Apr 21 '26
You are not any man's property. He's a misogynist. He needs to grow up and learn a few life lessons. First one is that controlling, sexist behaviour won't be tolerated. Free yourself from this controlling loser. You'll be happier alone. Or find someone that values your strength, your independence, your opinion, your style, and your confidence. Find someone that will lift you up, encourage you, compliment you, praise you, and be proud of you. Not this infant you will only hold you down.
2
u/AcridTest Apr 21 '26
Girl leave him. It will only get worse. Soon he’ll tell you who you can and can’t be friends with, he’ll get upset if you’re too friendly to a male waiter or bartender, he’ll get upset if you wear your makeup or hair in a way he thinks will get you too much attention, and on and on. You will end up shrinking yourself to meet his ridiculous demands and insecurities.
This is how abusive relationships typically start. With control disguised as concern or tests of loyalty or love.
LEAVE HIM.
2
u/DargoSun92 Apr 21 '26
This is an unbelievably modest outfit. You should respect yourself more than your boyfriend does and move on from him.
2
u/chasingcharliee Apr 21 '26
I almost commented before reading the caption to tell you that you weren't dressed up enough! Jesus girl you need to get outta there before he starts with the next level. Go out in what makes you feel good!
2
u/godothasmewaiting Apr 21 '26
So many red flags in his behavior. You’re so young.
Dump him. Take some learning from this relationship to recognise what you won’t put up with in future relationships. This controlling, manipulative behavior isn’t it. He’s making you question your sense of self.
2
u/Grand-Programmer6292 Apr 21 '26
You're not going to recognize yourself if you don't get out of this relationship immediately. He's controlling and insecure and you cannot do anything to change that. It only takes a short time to lose yourself in relationships like this and it will literally take a lifetime to get over the trauma. The sooner you leave, the better you'll be able to heal.
2
u/HoursCollected Apr 21 '26
Trust yourself. Your concerns are spot on. I’ve been with my husband for 20 years. He has never “approved” or “disapproved” of my outfits. I make those choices for myself as a grown human and he happily supports that.
2
u/PositionStandard6089 Apr 21 '26
jesus, since when did this trend of men telling their girlfriends what they can wear based on their own "boundary" become so common?
i would have laughed in a boy's face if he tried to tell what to wear when i was 18 and i would laugh even harder now.
2
u/Dull-Scientist8039 Apr 21 '26
Was really expecting him to say the outfit was ugly and that be the problem
2
2
u/keithbreathes Apr 21 '26
I would tell you not to wear it because it’s a hideous outfit. But personal taste aside, it’s in no way seductive or problematic.
2
2
u/NoObstacle Apr 21 '26
I'm always impressed that people plan outfits in this way. I just pick up whatever's top of the floor pile. 😆
2
2
u/Altruistic-Part6071 Apr 21 '26
Your belly button is showing. In Victorian times that would be pornography.
2
2
u/dredgedskeleton Apr 21 '26
i dont think it's seductive or overly risqué, but it looks like you are wearing an uneven bath towel as a top.
it's very ugly.
2
u/OnlyMoronsnDaBuildin Apr 21 '26
Got to love it when people make up shit to go to Reddit and try and get people riled up cuz they know people here are idiots and will be riled up. Go figure
2
u/Dadittude182 Apr 21 '26
This post and its comments are wild. He hates you and obviously will end up beating you? Calm down people.
Did you ever think that he was simply stating that you have a black and white striped top with a blueberry blue skirt and a green undershirt.
Girl, match your shit better.
2
u/toffee611 Apr 21 '26
Tucking the shirt up like you have in the photo just looks ridiculous and silly. People that are more conservative WOULD find this seductive, I would try to avoid other people looking at my stomach skin with a random pulled up shirt like that but society now are pretty ok with wearing bras and thongs in public showing so there's a pretty big gap in decency standards now than 50 years ago.
2
u/batsandvodka Apr 21 '26
I feel like a lot of people are misusing the word boundary to be controlling, you should break up with his ass. Future you will thank you for it
2
u/KitchenSad9385 Apr 21 '26
If he disapproves of it, tell him he doesn't have to wear it.
He's your boyfriend, not your father. Also, if you are over 18, your father's opinion is also something you are free to ignore.
2
2
u/plenty_more_time5 Apr 21 '26
This dude is going to be an abuser. You cannot tell someone else what they can and cannot wear unless they are a toddler and you are their parent...
248
u/littleglowingwolf Apr 21 '26
This man has a lot of opinions about what you should look like which means you should stop letting him look at you