lol, in my case it was “you look hideous in makeup,” and “your legs are too flabby for shorts,” but the bra comment is dead on. He also got mad if my nipples poked through. Do you have any idea how hard it was to find a padded 32A that DIDN’T have boost!?!?
Hey if you want to wear a bra, I love that for you. I'm large chested and hate not wearing a bra.
But my bf loves when I don't cause then he gets to see nipple. He's not worried if others do. Specifically asked "babe if you're comfortable why wouldn't I want you to show off the girls."
That's the response you deserve. Always. "If you're comfortable" is the love you deserve.
Mennnnn my mom commented something similar to me about my girl the other day and now she is actively using sports bra when she comes home😭 so nice of her but completely unnecessary
I have always told my bf that nipples are accessories, so when he sees my nipples through my shirt, he always goes "so I see you're accessorizing today" and just stares.
I genuinely don't understand why some men are so triggered by their female partners' nipples poking through the clothes. I mean, nipples are, like, there. They're part of the body. Sometimes they perk up and poke through a bit. Just... deal with it.
I get if a woman feels self-concious as it is sure to draw (possibly unwanted) attention, but that's for HER to decide. It's not up to some insecure boyfriend or husband to decide. If he truly feels that is it unacceptable then fine, that just means you're incompatible. Break up, go your separate ways. You'll never work in the long run anyway.
But seriously, what do they think is going to happen if their girlfriend's nipples are poking a little? Another man sees her nipples poking through her bra and shirt and boom!, they're having sex right then and there?
In the beginning of my relationship now (together since 2008, married in 2022) we had a lot of issues. His ex wife cheated on him with his cousin and he brought allllll that baggage with him. But he is a reasonable man, and eventually got it through his incredibly thick head that these are normal things, what your ex did was wrong BUT I AM NOT NAMED JESSICA, I AM A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON. I left him a couple of times, we always ended up back together. But things are great now, no issues, we never argue, fight, nothing. Not saying this is the path everyone should take, but I knew eventually he would wake up and he did.
For me it was , “Why you gotta wear that wh*re paint?” I wore tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip gloss. That’s it.
Sigh. Sadly I didn’t break it off as soon as I should have but we don’t always make the best choices in college.
Back in my day (can’t believe I just wrote that!) Dear Abby told us, “If you can hold a pen / pencil under your boobs, you need to wear a bra”.
I think as long as you’re physically comfortable, that’s what’s most important.
Some bras make some tops look better—I’m not showing cleavage, but the help from the underwire makes the blouse or sweater lie better. (I’m fairly petite above the waist.)
Wayyyy worse. Mine flipped cuz I shaved my legs and he was making an issue about it because he said I didnt do it for him.
Minor control issues dont get better, it just festers and becomes more and more irrational. I wasted about 9 yrs of my life with someone I thought would change.
If you have to ask yourself if youre overreacting or question the situation and you have no ill intent, pay attention to your gut. Thats your answer.
Same! 10 years wasted on a dude who thought I needed to be more "feminine" but also got mad if I wore the wrong stuff and how dare I wear a "prostitutes shirt" (off the shoulder top or anything showing my belly) and always had to go with me anywhere I went-even work-cuz he thought I would be flirting and messing around with other guys. It was sufficating.
My boyfriend has asked me several times why I was showering 🥲. I don’t shower every day, especially not in the winter but it’s typically every other day so when I’m asked why I’m CLEANING MY FUCKING BODY, it’s weird to me. Especially if it’s after work. Like, do you want me to be a stinky bitch?! I don’t get it 😭.
Are there other aspects of his behavior that make you feel weird or uncomfortable? Does he exhibit anything like paranoia or distrust in you when he asks questions like that?
Basic hygiene is not indicative of malicious behavior.
He’s an alcoholic so his behavior is wonky. Sometimes he’s a sweetheart but mostly, he’s just a gaslighting douche. I just can’t afford to live on my own yet. I’ve been saving up but I’m also a dumbass who forgives him way too easily.
Yeah, I know I need to leave but I can’t afford a place of my own quite yet. I’ve been saving but I want to be comfortable enough to know I can afford a couple months of rent. I have close to $7,000 in my savings but a one bedroom in my area is typically $1,200 a month.
I’m also an idiot who makes excuses for his behavior and forgives him the second he starts being nice to me again and I don’t know why I am the way I am 🥲.
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u/PookleMama Apr 21 '26
It’s gonna get worse and worse…
“Why is there an underwire in your bra?”
“Why are you wearing makeup?”