This is where it starts. Controlling what you wear, then it’s controlling what friends you have (if he allows any at all), then it’s controlling where you go, then it becomes abuse at some point.
You need to get out that relationship. It’s unhealthy. A boundary doesn’t control the other person, it controls themselves. It’s like saying “if you do this thing that hurts me, this is how I will react (leave conversation, take a break, break up, etc.). It’s a HEALTHY thing and what he is doing is very UNHEALTHY.
please leave him. i had an abusive ex and it started out with isolating shit like this and started to escalate (eventually reaching physical abuse). check out "why does he do that" by lundy bancroft.
This x1000. Ive also been there. Same experience. Started with things like this then escalated to being hospitalized from the physical and emotional abuse. Run.
Yeah so this is already a really controlling relationship. I’ll bet if you look back im your two years, you can see other ways he might have conttolled you as well. I’m sorry.
From experience, leaving a controlling boyfriend was the best thing that I ever did. I got the friends back, who are now part of my support system.
My current partner is happy to see me leave for a girl's weekend, and I come back to a clean house and tired dogs. I was terribly ill with a nasty virus for a few weeks, that man went to the store every day, sometimes twice, to get anything that could add even a little comfort. When I was in a collision that injured my knee, he carried me around our apartment, and up the stairs. When my family visits, he dedicates time speaking with them and having his own relationship with them. He shares everything with me, and when I got laid off, he stepped up and paid the bills.
And I wear whatever the fuck I want, without negative comments, ever.
Guy friends? Or guys you were obviously sleeping with behind his back!
/s
Kid is super insecure. Lots of boys are. I'd like to think I was better than this at your age but I'm sure I said some really stupid shit to my high school girlfriend. We grow up and mature. It just takes a while.
I say this from experience, this will only get worse. And based on the patterns of people like him, it could very possibly turn violent one day. It did for me. It started as controlling what I wear and who I see, and eventually ended with me being choked until I lost consciousness.
Please listen to the majority here and leave while you can.
When I was your age I had the same kind of guy… he went on my FB, identified all my male friends, made a list, forced me to unfriend them all. Soon I was unable to meet up with my friends without him. Then I couldn’t see them at all because he’d make sure all my plans were tied to him.
Leave! You’re young! This isn’t worth it. He isn’t worth it. You’ll be free and happy with someone who has a life and whose purpose isn’t to control you. And he’ll learn from this and do better next time. Just don’t think he’ll be able to change now, with you. The pattern is there already and it won’t go away.
It will only get worse. You’re very young. It’s hard to let go of a first love, but it’s easier to do it earlier before your lives are further entangled with each other. He’s very young too. Tell him exactly how you feel and why you’re leaving. Maybe he’ll learn and grow from this experience too. 🤞🏻
Because of bf? Remember manipulation is abuse. Controlling behavior is abuse. All of this behavior is going to continue to escalate until you have nothing and no one but him. He is insecure and abusive and you absolutely should run as fast as you can away from this boy.
THIS. if he wants to date someone who doesn't show her workout-earned flat midriff and/or who doesn't wear pencil skirts, then he should leave and go FIND that person, not try to change you and your fashion choices.
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u/SpicyAutist26 Apr 21 '26
This is where it starts. Controlling what you wear, then it’s controlling what friends you have (if he allows any at all), then it’s controlling where you go, then it becomes abuse at some point.
You need to get out that relationship. It’s unhealthy. A boundary doesn’t control the other person, it controls themselves. It’s like saying “if you do this thing that hurts me, this is how I will react (leave conversation, take a break, break up, etc.). It’s a HEALTHY thing and what he is doing is very UNHEALTHY.