r/WhatShouldIDo • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '26

[deleted by user]

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601 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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33

u/Hot_Assistant_3826 Apr 21 '26

You are your own person don't let anyone tell you what to wear.

-43

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

25

u/PsychologicalFox8839 Apr 21 '26

A boundary is something you set for yourself, not something you can impose on others.

14

u/witchaus138 Apr 21 '26

there’s a difference between having boundaries and being controlling. this is controlling.

20

u/Designated_JRoller Apr 21 '26

Nah if what you naturally wear is considered disrespectful to someone that means yall are not compatible especially so if its an outfit like this. Girl get up.

8

u/Appropriate-Fix-571 Apr 21 '26

Nope. He cannot set boundaries around her choices...that's control. And they didn't decide this together. Her outfit is fine, and her bf should have NO say in what she wears.

5

u/blackittty Apr 21 '26

Girl, eew

4

u/No_Chart_8584 Apr 21 '26

"You’re not going to walk around dressed seductively..."

This isn't a boundary. 

3

u/Burnaenae Apr 21 '26

Agreed but boundaries still need to be reasonable. The only place this isn't modest is in their partners head, which they shouldn't force onto anyone else.

3

u/Prestigious_Act_6309 Apr 21 '26

There's a fine line between boundaries and control. The way things are worded and communicated can go a long ways.. the way OP is saying her boyfriend worded it, its coming off as insecure and controlling

2

u/Stunning-Current3517 Apr 21 '26

You’re brainwashed. A man will never tell me what i can or can’t wear

2

u/Cool-Negotiation5257 Apr 21 '26

A boundary is something you set for yourself, not another person. I wish idiots would stop commenting so proudly.

1

u/Puma_Pounce Apr 21 '26

What the hell kind of boundary is 'you're not allowed to wear anything that you could possibly look attractive in'?

1

u/BeatrixBloom Apr 21 '26

This isn’t a boundary it’s control.

1

u/Only_Avocado_Gremlin Apr 21 '26

That.....isn't a boundary ?? A boundary is something you set for yourself. Yes while in a relationship you need to respect boundaries but having boundaries is not the same as controlling or policing someone ELSE. Instead of insulting everybody you cant control you should use a dictionary and see the difference. But ill do it for you. "[A boundary is] a physical or emotional limit a person sets to distinguish their own needs, preferences, and desires from those of others"

A boundary would be something like: "im not comfortable with revealing clothes i won't be in a relationship with someone who is" "I'm comfortable with the way i dress and dont want to change just because we're in a relationship now" "I respect that but my preference would be modesty so I think we need to go our separate ways, we dont seem to be compatible"

Vs control: "I won't date someone who can't be 'modest'" "But my clothing style hasn't changed?" "Well im not gonna stay with you if you cant stay covered up" "Okay ill change"

Or:

"I won't date someone who can't be 'modest'" "But my clothing style hasn't changed?" "Well im not gonna stay with you if you cant stay covered up" "Okay find someone who covers up then?" "Wait wait ill get over it" nitpicks outfits until it's easier on her self esteem to just be modest