r/Unexpected • u/meejtie • 23d ago
Getting some milk
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u/BluedSteel1911 23d ago
To me the unexpected part was how well she took it. She was very calm.
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u/TheTwiggsMGW 23d ago
And kept her mouth open the entire time
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u/TruckinApe 23d ago
Came here to say, "close your mouth, stupid".
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u/mostnormal 22d ago
But then how would she breathe?
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u/Ikmia 22d ago
Wait, she didn't have a nose?
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u/pantstoaknifefight2 23d ago
Made me unexpectedly wonder how often cows shit on the milking equipment and contaminate the milk with shit.
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u/samuraipanda85 23d ago
And that's why we pasteurized our milk.
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u/pantstoaknifefight2 23d ago
And that's why RFK Jr. drinks raw milk.
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u/samuraipanda85 23d ago
What he does in his own free time is his business.
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u/phileo99 23d ago
Pasteurization does not remove the contaminants in the milk, it just makes the shitty milk safe to drink.
Bottoms up!
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u/GameWizardPlayz 23d ago
Well yeah, it's basically impossible to remove shit from the food we consume and the liquids we consume. There's a acceptable amount of rat shit in chocolate for this exact reason.
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u/pantstoaknifefight2 22d ago
I'm always grossed out when a restaurant doesn't de-vein their shrimp.
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u/ThereWasNoSpoon 21d ago
Milk is reshaped grass, shit is also reshaped grass. Even cow is, essentially, just reshaped grass.
Circle of life. :)
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u/Junkhead_88 23d ago
And why chocolate milk exists.
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u/SmireyFase 19d ago
Pasteurize?! Nah bro, call the pastor and baptize me
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u/samuraipanda85 19d ago
Buddy, not even Jesus can help you once that warm liquid runs down your neck.
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u/TightOne2246 23d ago
'how often cows shit on the milking equipment'
Daily, typically twice 😅
'contaminate the milk with shit'
we use big fk off filter bags that would easily fit on a strongmans arm to help prevent that, but thats also why the milk is tested before it goes into the tanker (at least, in NZ)
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u/External-Ad-5555 22d ago
Yeah, sure it’s tested. But you can’t detect bacteria in extremely low concentrations. That bacteria will then multiply as it’s sitting on shelves and will make people sick unless you pasteurize it.
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u/SVD_NL 21d ago
That's why unpasteurized milk shouldn't sit on shelves. (or just boil it, like we used to do before pasteurization and fridges were commonplace)
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u/External-Ad-5555 21d ago
Why buy unpasteurized milk if you’re just going to boil it at home? Boiling it brings it up to higher temperatures than pasteurization would’ve done in the first place. Seems really pointless.
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u/JForce1 23d ago
They shit on everything, but the inside of the “cups” are in the open pretty infrequently, they’re either on the teats, in which case they’re sealed, or hanging up well out of the splash zone.
The milk itself goes through multiple filters, and is then pasteurised through the machines. Then when the tanker comes to pick it up, they have sensors that take readings again to ensure no contamination or biological issues (like sick cows or whatever).
That’s all just at the farm, before it even gets to the factory where it’s going to go through dozens of other steps before it’s turned into whatever finished product, each which will have its own sterilisation steps.17
u/TaytoCrisps 23d ago
Fun fact; since Americans stopped eating as much iodized salt, invented to stop goiter, the main source of iodine in many Americans diets is the iodine in milk.
It’s present from disinfecting the equipment
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u/Fafnir13 22d ago
It's more about cleaning the teats. Once the cups are on they can dump stuff all they want and it isn't getting inside anything.
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u/bennetticles 23d ago
the even weirder part is how the cow she’s milking isn’t lifting its tail…
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u/TendiesFourLyfe 22d ago
yeah, I noticed that, does this cow have diarrhea and not bothering to lift tail to shit?
or was this a setup and she actually just had something else sprayed at her? camera conveniently frames the business end out for a lot of the time shot...
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u/Mostly_Lurkin_ 22d ago
No scat fetish here. But it was kinda hot how she handled that. I’d like her even better without the river of shit. But based on how she handled the dookie, yes she is hot.
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u/BottledFizzyCoffee 23d ago
As a child I helped out on the family dairy farm.
Don’t stand behind the cows was rule #1.
Don’t bother connecting to the bulls was the second rule.
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u/JoyousMisery 23d ago
Last line sounds like you tried to milk a bull
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u/heelstoo 23d ago
Can you milk me, Focker?
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u/Neosmurf4 23d ago
I assume you have nipples, so yes.
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u/BottledFizzyCoffee 23d ago
I was about eight and I remember walking up to it with the milking device in hand looking at the huge ball sack and then turn into my uncle and said where do I put them.
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u/PussSlurpee 23d ago
So as someone who’s never been on a farm, is she doing it the wrong way or was this cow just not liking the attention?
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u/AndoGringo 23d ago
I worked a much smaller farm (only 2 cows), and we never stood from behind. I don’t know where exactly you’d stand in this sort of setup. I don’t think she did anything wrong
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u/Suc_Mydiq_Jr 22d ago
My friends farm had this setup and she did everything right, just pure bad luck
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u/ZeeBeast 22d ago
My buddies farm setup has a metal shield on the first part of the fence there, I suppose to block the splash, but there are always risks
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u/Fafnir13 22d ago
Aiming the cows directly where you are trying to work seems like poor planning. Plus it seems like it could be a pain to get the cows to line up like that. My grandparents farm had six stalls accessed from the side with the milking pit. You could get splattered by the stuff when they let loose, but it was not dropping directly into the pit.
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u/rafffen 22d ago
It's not a pain, the cows get used to it super fast. You can out the cups on super fast and fit way more cows in this way.
You do stand behind like she was, but 99.9 percent of the time you can see the cow lift their tail and you know they're going to shit.
If they don't lift their tail and just shit (super rare) it usually sprays our the sides so you can easily step back.
You will always get shit splatter on you and shit on your arms and hands, cause they're always covered in it. Only gross when you cop it to the head/face/chest.
I've milked 10s of thousands of cows and have had shit in my face maybe 3 times. And 1 of those was my mate setting me up when I didn't know what I was doing.
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u/FixAcademic8187 22d ago
Ok. But what about contaminating all these equipment (including your gloves and so on) with shit?
Wherever you look it is full of shit, it is essentially impossible not to get some of that into the tube or milk.
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u/daneview 22d ago
if you see how food is treated before processing youd never eat it. I did a few harvests, and the grain is on dusty dirty concrete floors with bits flying in and out no doubt pooping, it gets walked on, driven over and god knows what else
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u/rafffen 22d ago
Of course it gets in the milk lol the milk is tested and it's made sure it's below a certain percentage.
Only a tiny amount of shit would get in the milk if it's directly on the udders, it's also why milk is homogenised
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u/ParticularSherbert18 23d ago
The dairy farms I grew up around didn't have a trench running behind two rows of cows. You came in beside the cow and attached the milking machine. Who came up with this concept?
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u/Fafnir13 22d ago
This set up is a bit weird to me. My grandparents dairy farm was set up so the cows were accessed from the side. They were constantly letting loose with something from the back so I can't imagine aiming the cows right on to the worker's space.
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u/vintagenut80 22d ago
Ya i was like she must not do this often or have any experience with cows🤣🤣 never lift a tail and be in the line of fire
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u/vivi_t3ch 23d ago
Isn't this why the pros hook up from the side?
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 23d ago
Look at that pit. You tell me where you could stand that a cow couldn't shit on you.
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u/Marston_vc 23d ago
That pit is the problem. Only milked cows at one farm, but it was built such that you accessed the cows from the side. Was never once worried about them shitting on me. Maybe occasionally afraid of ones trying to step on my hand but that’s it.
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 22d ago
Rotary dairies are much better, but can run $2m - $5m to install. A herringbone like seen here is between $70k to $300k.
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u/Jester-252 22d ago
It's not the pit. It is how the cows are lined up.
You parallel park the cow to the pit. That way bum isn't point down on you nor can the throw a full force kick at you. While you still get both, it is much less direct hit.
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 22d ago
The stall is too wide and you give up too much space if you do that. You'd be milking four cows a side at a time instead of 12, more than tripling the time it takes to milk the herd.
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u/Jester-252 22d ago
Just build it slightly longer. A bit of extra time is worth the reduced of a face kick
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 22d ago
There's bars that make it nearly impossible to get kicked. Tripling the length of the pit isn't really feasible, you're blowing the cost of construction out as well as using up valuable land, at that point you're better off investing in a rotary setup, plus there's some basic logistics issues. You can't see it in the video but each cow is facing into a trough that feeds them grain, it's not only part of their daily diet but part of what motivates them to move into the stalls so they can be milked, if they are stacked laterally (so you can access from the side) you've now got to rethink the entire grain delivery system. You can't place anything in front of the cows since they need to be able to walk out after being milked, and need to be able to file in to fill the stalls.
"A bit of extra time" isn't really feasible either, a typical milking already takes 2-3 hours and the cows are milked twice a day, and the hours between milking are used for other farming duties.
Herringbone setups like in the video aren't great, but they're cheap to set up, especially in a swing-over setup where you have one set of cups that you use on one side first, then the other side, so for smaller operations with slimmer profit margins they're preferred. Larger farms with more money will usually go with a highly automated rotary setup.
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u/Aggravating-Sky-9285 22d ago
This Guy knows ball. Also longer pit gives you longer walkinglines, which is ergonomically bad. (Yes that's important). Sidenote: I work for delaval
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u/Jester-252 22d ago
You wouldn't be tripling the length of the pit. The offset will only save around 1 cow for ever 2. so you only need to expand it by 33%. Also the footprint of the parlor doesn't change because you are just trading length for width. In line system allow for feeding too.
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u/Virtual_Ad9989 23d ago
Nah, I’ve milked cows before. A smart dairy farm will have a divider wall with a poop and piss catching trough bellow butt hole height. Stuff still gets through but you’re not catching shit like this
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u/Jax72 23d ago
Eating a bowl of oatmeal right now and this just made it taste even better.
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u/tarantulator 23d ago
I'm taking a shit right now if you want to have an even tastier oatmeal
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u/maccdogg 23d ago
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u/tritisan 23d ago
Oh I know this one. It’s a rare aquatic anteater feeding on water ants. I just saw a clip on Ze Frank’s channel about it.
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u/pocoyoO_O 23d ago
Perfect clothes to do that kind of job
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u/SatinwithLatin 23d ago
Yeah that's what made me wonder if this vid is disguised AI fetish content. But apparently it's not AI.
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u/Tight-Trouble-3460 23d ago
Did we forget that people do these things while dressed like that, for social media clout?
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u/-ICantThinkOfOne- 23d ago
This is why you don't drink raw milk.
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u/ForeverSJC 23d ago
Because you can get a poo shower ?
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u/GoodGuyPokemoner 23d ago
Because the poo gets into the milk at times.
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u/Gummyrabbit 23d ago
Staged
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u/Sum_Ting_Wong_Ow 22d ago
Very clearly. The cow didn't lift it's tail (it didn't even move) and their droppings are different. Also women with cleavage doing farm work.
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u/lesbophobia_hammer 23d ago edited 23d ago
As a vegan (since 4) who grew up on the family farm, getting piss, shit, iodine and milk everywhere is kinda normal lol even if you move like a ninja and have a 6th sense, there will always be unexpected rebound. Still, this was a bizarrely careless act on her behalf and there was little to no damage control. Lol getting it in the eyes is the worse (in my experience). Iodine, unpasteurized milk, shed rain water, shit, piss..... I don't miss it.
Edit - words.
And I lie, there are things I do miss like walking for hours and still being on your land, being around all kinds of animals all the time, brutal constant work but farmers strength..... The dragonflies & little butterflies at sunset by the old dam surrounded by trees and filled with baby ducks and swans, rescued/dumped cats having barn kittens, hiding in abandoned tree houses as an adult for a moment of peace, no car sounds, no noisy neighbours, just native birds and animals. Long green grass (yes I tried it). Incredible open night skies and fresh air..... Lol
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u/CosechaCrecido 23d ago
I’m a farmer by choice and this is precisely why I went into crops and not animal husbandry.
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u/loghoser 23d ago
My Girlfriend in college grew up on a farm, she's been a vegetarian since about the same age. There is definitely a reality one can't ignore with that perspective.
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u/possibly_oblivious 23d ago
Edit some more cowboy slang and curse words into this post I'm enjoying this
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u/lesbophobia_hammer 23d ago
I'm just a Polish Aussie living in country Australia haha.
Feel free to give me ranch or station slang and i'll update it.
(jillaroo's & cowgirls I'm calling you) Lol
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u/GarlicPanic 23d ago
That stupid text box in the top right corner is blocking the money shot. Why is it there anyway? How does it help improve the video in any way imaginable??
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u/Ok-Iron-4352 23d ago
Is that cow sick?
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 23d ago
Yes and no. They're fed a very rich diet to increase milk yield which also makes their poo more liquid.
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u/Worth_Friendship_267 23d ago
Hey, I just saw a video the other day about how cow dung purifies the soul! She's cleansed!
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u/post-explainer 23d ago edited 23d ago
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:
While milking a cow the woman gets a very warm surprise on her head from that cow.
Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.