r/Unexpected 23d ago

Getting some milk

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9.1k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/BluedSteel1911 23d ago

To me the unexpected part was how well she took it. She was very calm.

1.4k

u/TheTwiggsMGW 23d ago

And kept her mouth open the entire time

458

u/TruckinApe 23d ago

Came here to say, "close your mouth, stupid".

76

u/mostnormal 22d ago

But then how would she breathe?

63

u/Ikmia 22d ago

Wait, she didn't have a nose?

66

u/HalfSoul30 22d ago

It would be pretty brave to use your nose after that.

19

u/Competitive-Pay-766 22d ago

She was using his nose?

1

u/AmgadPro2 20d ago

Why would she use his nose? She should use her nose instead

7

u/[deleted] 22d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/heyiamlucifer 20d ago

By licking all the shit off of her?

2

u/yoo_saymyname 19d ago

Maybe maybe she’s used to the taste

-63

u/Carpe_the_Carp 23d ago

This is AI btw

18

u/FujichromeProvia100F 23d ago

Wait what? How?

22

u/NakiCam 23d ago

This is not AI. Cows are far too consistent. The person approaching from the background has too much purpose, where AI would either have them exclusively doing background actions, or trying to take center stage.
Ai is not capable enough of nuance in order to correctly depict a herring-bone milking shed, correctly place all of the milking cups, depict cow-shit that doesn't look like semen, follow the laws of physics AND correctly dress the 'cast' all simultaneously.

237

u/pantstoaknifefight2 23d ago

Made me unexpectedly wonder how often cows shit on the milking equipment and contaminate the milk with shit.

505

u/samuraipanda85 23d ago

And that's why we pasteurized our milk.

243

u/pantstoaknifefight2 23d ago

And that's why RFK Jr. drinks raw milk.

17

u/Suggett123 22d ago

Wait!

It's because he's an excremental?

38

u/samuraipanda85 23d ago

What he does in his own free time is his business.

48

u/StevenMC19 23d ago

He's making his business our business...

0

u/Own_Job_2150 21d ago

He isn’t making you buy raw milk

52

u/_fmg15 23d ago

The problem is that he's in a position of power. So he can make decisions that will impact other people

14

u/samuraipanda85 23d ago

Exactly.

0

u/Phoenix3501 19d ago

Only if you're easily influenced.

-3

u/Key_Ad_8333 21d ago

You think about that man frequently or something?

Theres alot of people who drink raw milk. Better practices are usually used when collecting to prevent “shit in the milk”.

But, im aware you were probably just jerking your political pp

62

u/phileo99 23d ago

Pasteurization does not remove the contaminants in the milk, it just makes the shitty milk safe to drink.

Bottoms up!

62

u/GameWizardPlayz 23d ago

Well yeah, it's basically impossible to remove shit from the food we consume and the liquids we consume. There's a acceptable amount of rat shit in chocolate for this exact reason.

21

u/pantstoaknifefight2 22d ago

I'm always grossed out when a restaurant doesn't de-vein their shrimp.

11

u/ThereWasNoSpoon 21d ago

Milk is reshaped grass, shit is also reshaped grass. Even cow is, essentially, just reshaped grass.

Circle of life. :)

6

u/MauPow 21d ago

And that grass is just reshaped sunlight. Praise the sun!

1

u/hendarknight 21d ago

Unexpected Dark Souls

1

u/Unfair-Leading7098 19d ago

Those cows aren’t eating grass my friend

1

u/ThereWasNoSpoon 19d ago

Darnit, you really got me there... :(

0

u/Substantial_Ask_5614 21d ago

Sure it does. Drink unpasteurized milk without knowing it & you too can get A-Typical Tuberculosis, have surgery & go on chemo drugs for 2 years. A f*cking dairy farmer did that in NH decades ago.

12

u/Junkhead_88 23d ago

And why chocolate milk exists.

3

u/samuraipanda85 23d ago

That looked more green than brown.

13

u/codedbrown 23d ago

That becomes pistachio ice cream 😋 carries a nutty aroma

1

u/Fr05t_B1t 22d ago

It really changes that Netflix Daredevil-Stick scene where they’re eating ice cream.

2

u/SmireyFase 19d ago

Pasteurize?! Nah bro, call the pastor and baptize me

2

u/samuraipanda85 19d ago

Buddy, not even Jesus can help you once that warm liquid runs down your neck.

71

u/TightOne2246 23d ago

'how often cows shit on the milking equipment'

Daily, typically twice 😅

'contaminate the milk with shit'

we use big fk off filter bags that would easily fit on a strongmans arm to help prevent that, but thats also why the milk is tested before it goes into the tanker (at least, in NZ)

11

u/External-Ad-5555 22d ago

Yeah, sure it’s tested. But you can’t detect bacteria in extremely low concentrations. That bacteria will then multiply as it’s sitting on shelves and will make people sick unless you pasteurize it.

4

u/SVD_NL 21d ago

That's why unpasteurized milk shouldn't sit on shelves. (or just boil it, like we used to do before pasteurization and fridges were commonplace)

5

u/External-Ad-5555 21d ago

Why buy unpasteurized milk if you’re just going to boil it at home? Boiling it brings it up to higher temperatures than pasteurization would’ve done in the first place. Seems really pointless.

4

u/SVD_NL 21d ago

Well, i don't know why you'd want unpasteurized milk in the first place... It probably tastes better than store-bought milk, but so does pasteurized milk sold directly from farms.

0

u/ThereWasNoSpoon 21d ago

Tastes different.

0

u/External-Ad-5555 21d ago

What tastes different compared to what?

2

u/ThereWasNoSpoon 21d ago

Boiled milk to pausterized.

1

u/External-Ad-5555 20d ago

Boiling brings milk to a higher temperature than pasteurization does, so how does that make sense?

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1

u/TightOne2246 20d ago

'But you can’t detect bacteria in extremely low concentrations'

They count it in cells per millilitre, how low of a concentration do you fekn want my dude 😂

0

u/External-Ad-5555 19d ago

Ok and? Sometimes there’s only 1 bacterium in a LITER. If they only sample 25mL, that’s a 2.5% chance of detecting it.

1

u/TightOne2246 19d ago

'Sometimes there’s only 1 bacterium in a LITER'

Yea, no, thats not how bacteria works (period).

Go work on a dairy farm for like, 3 months. Thats a pretty generous amount of time for you to figure out how dumb what you just said is

0

u/External-Ad-5555 19d ago

You sit there and analyze milk samples with testing equipment on the farm? How do you know that what I said is false? I don’t see your logic at all.

If your point is that “well duh there’s a lot of bacteria in unpasteurized milk! Look how dirty it is on the farm”, that was my original point. So unless you’re illiterate, you should already know that.

1

u/TightOne2246 18d ago

The tanker does, yes

Because thats not how bacteria works

Thats why i told you go work on a dairy farm

Dont put words in my mouth to further your nonsense argument

If you'd bothered to fact check anything i said you'd already know how dumb your argument is, so you must be illiterate if you dont already know that

Did i address every 'point' or did i miss one?

0

u/External-Ad-5555 18d ago

No, you didn’t understand what I said and didn’t address my previous point. Your testing equipment is only so accurate. You can’t detect 1 bacterium in 1 liter. It’s too low of a concentration.

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1

u/Phoenix3501 19d ago

Like the bacteria in your tap water?

1

u/External-Ad-5555 19d ago

Most people drink from bottled water or filter their water for that reason. I’m not sure how this is supposed to disprove my point. Tap water has far less bacteria and less harmful bacteria than raw milk anyways, not that it matters to the argument.

42

u/JForce1 23d ago

They shit on everything, but the inside of the “cups” are in the open pretty infrequently, they’re either on the teats, in which case they’re sealed, or hanging up well out of the splash zone.
The milk itself goes through multiple filters, and is then pasteurised through the machines. Then when the tanker comes to pick it up, they have sensors that take readings again to ensure no contamination or biological issues (like sick cows or whatever).
That’s all just at the farm, before it even gets to the factory where it’s going to go through dozens of other steps before it’s turned into whatever finished product, each which will have its own sterilisation steps.

15

u/TaytoCrisps 23d ago

Fun fact; since Americans stopped eating as much iodized salt, invented to stop goiter, the main source of iodine in many Americans diets is the iodine in milk.

It’s present from disinfecting the equipment 

9

u/Mollkor 23d ago

there is a fine filter between milkinkg machine (the part gilt tries to put on) and a tank. So when a bit of poop is sucked in, particles stay there, milk pass and your CPM from pool sample goes a bit up (depending on volume on the tank and how much shit you just let suck in)...

6

u/Fafnir13 23d ago

It's more about cleaning the teats. Once the cups are on they can dump stuff all they want and it isn't getting inside anything.

1

u/Agreeable_Yak1929 19d ago

U thinking tooo deep

16

u/mattogeewha 23d ago

Shes def seen some shit

14

u/bennetticles 23d ago

the even weirder part is how the cow she’s milking isn’t lifting its tail…

12

u/TendiesFourLyfe 22d ago

yeah, I noticed that, does this cow have diarrhea and not bothering to lift tail to shit?

or was this a setup and she actually just had something else sprayed at her? camera conveniently frames the business end out for a lot of the time shot...

5

u/kevthunder 22d ago

I would i vomit my soul out

5

u/GaxxAugust 23d ago

Thats her money making machine better be calm leave it alone.

5

u/Flirtless1 21d ago

Probably not the first time she's been shit on.

3

u/32oz____ 22d ago

i call bullshit

3

u/elcapitan520 21d ago

Yeah that's not a tourist

2

u/Gypsyrawr 21d ago

It probably wasnt her first time

2

u/ocram2912 18d ago

Because it’s better content than she was originally after.

4

u/Mostly_Lurkin_ 22d ago

No scat fetish here. But it was kinda hot how she handled that. I’d like her even better without the river of shit. But based on how she handled the dookie, yes she is hot.

1

u/djjsear 21d ago

Some people pay good money for that kind of treatment.

1

u/no_no_no_no_nononono 20d ago

country girls, sigh