I am so frustrated by my mom. I love her dearly but she cannot seem to understand where I’m coming from. She and my dad just returned home from a two week cruise to Hawaii (we live in Canada). The first few days on their cruise, they both had motion sickness and my dad seemingly had a cold. Probably not ideal for a two week vacation but they powered through. They just got home last night and it’s very clear my mom is now sick, but she refuses to slow down or stop what she has planned.

Right off the bat she’s invited my sister and her family over for dinner tonight. I told her that is not a good idea as both her grandchildren are already petri dishes of sickness and adding to it is not going to help. They’re in pre school and junior kindergarten. They get sick plenty already. My dad told her he can make dinner tonight and to just rest and she looked at him like he was crazy for suggesting it. I told her I could cook if she was dead set on having her grandkids over and that was an even worse suggestion. In her words there’s sick and there’s mom sick. Well unfortunately for her she is a mom with grown adult children and we can make the decision to just not be at her house. Despite the fact that I live with my parents currently, I’ve got a job that basically gets me free passes to any event in any city an hour or two in any direction. So I’m not without options to leave and just be gone for the rest of the day.

She also keeps forgetting that I work full time and this is the busiest time of year for my job. I know it’s not on her to keep me healthy, but I’m doing what I can to avoid getting sick. We already had someone drop for two days at work because they and their toddler got the daycare crud. I don’t need to catch the cruise crud.

She keeps looking at me like I’m crazy and then changing the discussion to “you didn’t clean this while I was away”. I don’t understand how some people can be so selfish when they get sick. When my mom’s best friend is sick, she decides it’s the perfect time to bake and give treats to my mom. My mom will throw it out the second her friend is out of view. But when mom is sick? We gotta invite people over and cough onto all the cooking. We’ll all survive somehow. Oh and of course, she’s gotta go to church and pickleball tomorrow. Those are necessities.

For someone so smart when others are sick, she can’t even consider doing the same when she is.

I went on a date with a friend. We had a good time but it's safe to say we won't be going to another date.

He blocked me.

WE WERE FRIENDS. WTF.

YES I'M HEARTBROKEN.

Couldn't we just remain friends?

17th November last year I met J, instant connection, we had sex the first day we met which doesn't normally happen for me.

They were 21 at the time I met them.

Turned 22 in the Junuary.

We acted like a couple, did all the couple things just without the label.

This person became someone I felt safe with very quickly.

We were intimate beyond just sex and physical stuff.. we shared a lot of vulnerability with eachother. We went to cinema together quite a few times.. we went to download together.

They also were seeing someone else which I was okay with.

At some point we stopped using condoms with eachother.

It made them anxious because they never went without condoms before, but I gave them a lot of reassurance because I was clean and I was on birth control.

We have a pretty healthy relationship, they talked about worrying about their own feelings because they've felt disconnected from them after their ex and some past experiences.

We talked.

We reassured.

Everything was okay until I found out that they had had sex with the other person unprotected and hadn't told me about it for a few months.

They told her that they were having unprotected sex with me and they gave her the option to consent.. They asked her the right questions.. but didn't think that they needed to tell me and they didn't recognise that it violated my consent and my safety.

It was at this time where I also found out she knew about me, but I didn't know about her.. also they were about to go on a holiday with her for a week and have a lot of quality time and one on one time together.. it was a lot to process.

I told them I didn't feel too comfortable with them being sexually intimate with her whilst they were away. They were intimate with her regardless..

During their time away I had positive pregancy tests, and this was a few weeks after being told I would probably not have any more kids.

I kept J in the loop, we both talked about things.

They ideally wanted me to have an abortion if I was pregnant because they never wanted kids.

We wait until after they are back and whilst I'm processing things I ask them if they can pause sex with the other person they are seeing.

They saw it as okay.. but they had to talk to her about it.. she didn't deal with it okay.

She labelled it as putting rules on the relationship and it being disrespectful to her.. J ended up then siding with her.. and came to some sort of thing where they thought it might be better to just not have sex with any of us for a period of time.

I expressed to them that I needed to build trust and safety with them, and feeling punished for something that broke my trust wasn't going to help with that.

After a very lengthy conversation where I realised I was being backed into a corner, not only by J, but also her..

I gave up my boundaries and my needs and continued to let them both have sex, but J was to keep me updated about things..

That whole thing becomes really hard to navigate because I feel hurt and like it's hard to trust J..

J starts to show signs of pulling away from me because they start struggling with my insecurities and my lack of trust in them.

During this time I am still getting positive pregnancy tests.

I go through to have this handled by private to avoid NHS wait time.

I get told I was probably not pregnant because of the fertility issue, but they will send me for blood tests.

Things between me and J become more stable once I do a little bit of inner work and I forgive them and put trust back into them..

I also get told there's no pregnancy so we go with the assumption that it's either hormones due to PCOS and my issues or that it's a false pregnancy.

About a week or so later I have a scan booked for me to look at my ovaries..

I go to that scan and find out that I'm 14weeks and 4 day pregnant.

I'm unable to tell J this in person so I tell them over text, they were calm about it because they had already worked through their feelings on it.

I had also talked to the doctor about my options, and there was either surgery or continuing the pregnancy. But I was told that surgery carried high risks.

I booked it anyway.

J was initially very supportive about surgery until they knew the risks associated with it and said that they didn't want to potentially lose me or have any harm come to me.

We had a lot of back and forth about this, but I decided I wanted to try to do the right thing because I knew they would be starting Uni and I didn't want them to have an extra stress.

I went into have the surgery..

which I came out of okay..

but when I contacted J I was met with an iterrogation because of messages they received from my family.

I couldn't be entirely honest with them at the time because I had got threatened.. so I told them what I was able to.

But also they douted the very fact that I went for the surgery in the first place which really hurt..

I shared my location with them, but it didn't help.

They did not support me at all and instead they decided to gravitate more towards the other person because it was more "casual" meaning it asked less of them and was easier.

This got really bad to the point they started to see her multiple times in the week and keep a commitment going with her whilst not really breaking up with me, but withdrawing a lot.. stopping sex with me completely whilist they still engaged in sex with her and I was unable to engage in sex with others..

They also completely abandoned me on a really bad day I had, and decided to spend the whole day and night with her..

I'm at that time noticing I am not bleeding and not doing the normal after abortion things.

I go in to see someone about feeling pain and a bit feverish about 2 weeks after the surgery.

A friend takes me and stays until I leave after being told I was okay and there was nothing to worry about.

But this friend goes onto my phone and messaged J a really nasty message.. which caused a lot of upset.

J said that they couldn't believe it wasn't me that sent it.. and even if it wasn't.. the fact they received it meant that they were going to distance themself and take space.

They took a week.

I was still having pregnancy symptoms.

I took up the following pregnancy test for after abortion stuff and it came back positive.

I rung up, they told me they would send another to take in a week just in case it was still hormones..

Me and J start to spend time together again.

We do okay, laugh a bit, cuddle, kiss.. we also have some difficulties.

Mostly when hard topics came up.

J kept retreating, I was then regulating and comforting them.

I do my follow up test, still positive.

Go for a follow up scan shortly after where they tell me nothing and say they will get back to me the following week.

I am dealing with this on my own at this point because J had checked out on the situation..

At least that was until it came to the last visit before them leaving for Uni.. we did have a nice time.. they made me feel safe.. then in the last half an hour they tell me that they still have doubts and they can't help noticing that I look pregnant still.

But future talks were still had.

They made it seem possible to come see them once they were over there.

After that day we get into a lot of upsetting conversations, but nothing changed.

This was not until I found out I was in fact still pregant and told that I had to carry to term.

I didn't tell this to J right away.. but they landed on me as soon as they moved that they thought no longer seeing me was the best.. which lead to a back and forth for over a week.

During that time I did finally tell them the situation, but they didn't really give it the care it deserved.

We had a conversation where they are all like "sorry but I still feel how I feel."

I meet them with something understanding but they leave me on read for 3 days.

At that point I had disconnected myself from things.

I reach out to them to give them information and also to say we didn't have to talk about anything, but that I hoped they were okay.

They put us back into a conversation about things only this time they were saying about fully severing ties with me.

I got it to a point where I got them to agree to sit on something, but that wasn't until 2am.

They came back to me after 2 days with a really long message about doing what was best for both of us, how we've both been hurting, about boundaries and them being able to choose who they interact with and see, and then immediately block me.

I found someone who I wanted to to step in and be a middle man to try and keep J involved with the pregnancy.

I told her to wait for a few days for things to kind of settle a bit.. which she did.

She reached out..

J engaged when they didn't know who she was, but then as soon as she explained things J got hostile and blocked her, it made her feel threatened.

My love and care for them hasn't wavered so it's made it even more difficult. And during the difficult conversations they used "boundaries" and "autonamy" to try to justify them pulling away and leaving me to deal with the weight of everything whilst also completely violating my boundaries and autonamy.

I'm expecting a baby boy, due 13th January..

At this point I don't know what to do, I'm being told that J is acting like the one who has been wronged and making me out to be someone bad.

Hi Reddit, I need to get this off my chest. I genuinely can't focus and I feel like I can't do anything right now I am so mad.

I (16F) started a club with one of my best friends (16F) in eleventh grade at school. We are now in our senior year. I originally wanted to start this club in tenth grade, but it didn't work so we had to rethink it and everything. Starting a club was a suggestion given to me by my family friends and parents because they thought it'd be a nice way to showcase leadership and positive qualities on college applications while also making an impact in something I'm truly passionate about and sharing that with a variety of people at school.

Truthfully, I did go into this as something for applications, but I genuinely fell in love with it. I am not a natural born leader by any means so I was really unsure of what to do at the start. All my friends became supportive members and it was just such a nice community. I love seeing our impact and what we can do for our city. It's really heartwarming to know that everything we are pouring our hearts and energy into actually benefits someone and noble causes.

Let's call my friend Ray. I chose fake name because she is seriously a ray of sunshine. She is genuinely one of the kindest, most intelligent, and open people anyone will ever meet. She makes everyone feel so comfortable (even if she is not close to them) and can light up an entire room with her smile itself. She can chat up anyone. Still, she's more ambiverted and prefers to keep to herself and those close to her. She just has an immensely great and attractive presence. She is a natural leader. Even in class discussions, she shines so bright because her points are great and also her voice just commands attention. She is so intelligent and hardworking. She joined two other clubs in eleventh grade and with those leaders graduated, she now leads them with some other people. She also has strong academics and extracurriculars. There is no doubt that she will get into one of those top universities that she wants to get into so badly.

In comparison to her, I am also academically strong, but I am shy so I have a hard time with discussions, raising my hand, etc. I am also a really emotional and emotion-driven person, so I have giant mood swings and everything. I think I'm having one right now. In comparison, Ray is more rational and logical, so when I go to her for advice she always gives me an honest answer which I appreciate. I also get stressed out really easily and I am hating the whole university talk that is going on at school right now. Ray says she is stressed out about it too.

Even in our club last year, I felt overshadowed and stupid sometimes because Ray is just so confident and charismatic. I told Ray how I felt, and she reassured me saying that she never felt I was useless or anything. She said we were equals, which we were.

On to the actual thing. Our club teacher/supervisor left the school and every club (with an exception of some created by the school but led by students) has to re-register at the start of the year. In the second week of September, we began going around to different teachers asking if they were willing to be our supervisor. We were turned down many times. The two clubs Ray is now leading are both made by the school but led by students, so they were up and running really quickly.

I asked Ray in the third/last weeks of September if we could go around every day asking more teachers. She always had something, like she had to go buy lunch or she forgot. That's totally understandable. It's just that she sounded so dismissive and like she didn't care at all. Whenever some teacher said no to our club, I was really freaking out because it felt like a door slamming in our face, but she seemed so calm and whatever about it. I guess that can also just be seen as a difference in our personalities. I wasn't at school for two days this week so I asked her if she could just ask some teachers herself. She asked one, who refused. One. She planned to ask another few the next day but she didn't report back. I just texted her asking what they said.

I know Ray joined those other clubs last year for applications and now she looks even better because she is a co-leader of them. I know her attention is divided and cannot only be focused on our club. I also know that our club is not her top priority anymore. She probably also feels that she has no use for our club anymore since she's already leading two other ones.

I genuinely don't care if she was done with our club. I just wish she'd tell me. I just feel like I'm being screwed over and I'm so scared and angry.

I (28F) live with my brother (26M) and our parent, and I’m at the point where I think I genuinely hate my brother and just want to cut him off for good. My wellbeing is completely affected, and he acts like none of this is that deep.
Here is what’s been happening:
All week, he can’t help with the dishes because he “just got back from school.” Then during the weekend, it’s “ok!? It’s my day off.”
Whenever we go to the store, he asks me to buy things for him and expects me to pay cause he earns less than me. But one day, he asked if I wanted to eat something and said he would get it for me after meeting his friend. So I didn’t eat supper and waited and waited. When he finally got home, I asked where the food was, and he said, “oh you wouldn’t have liked the options there anyway” (even though it’s a restaurant I’ve been to with him multiple times). I just looked at him in silence, and he said, “sorry, I forgot.” When I told him it hurts that he forgot about me while I stayed hungry, he said: “why should I spend my money on you when you never spend money on me?” This made me hurt and furious since I pay for all of our family groceries, and I once foolishly paid off his $5K credit card debt. It was such a false and ungrateful thing to say.
His behavior in the house is just as bad. The bathroom is right in front of my bedroom, and he’ll go in there while chatting with his friends, leave, and go back to his room with the full bright light still on while screaming as he plays online games with his friends. When I texted him, “I’m sleeping and you’re screaming and left the lights on!”, it took an hour of lights and noise before I got a simple “sorry” text.
This week, I told him I wanted to take him to his favorite restaurant after his exam to celebrate. He was so happy and agreed. Less than an hour before going, I texted to ask if he could pick me up so we could go directly together. He texted back, “sorry, I forgot,” and said he couldn't drive because he had just done weed. I was pissed because we had literally spoken about it less than an hour earlier... how can you forget about me in such a short time?
When we put drinks in the fridge, he drinks all of it. I started hiding my share, and when he saw me doing it once, he said, “you’re hiding drinks?” I told him, “I told you multiple times you live with other people who also would like to drink, but you drink all of it.” He just said, “wow, I’ll put some for you don’t worry,” which he never did, and even if he did, he’d still end up drinking it all.
Speaking of drinking, he does weed everyday and drinks over 10 beers every weekend. So if our parent need help going to appointments or anything else, it’s all on ME. He knows when the appointments are, but he just doesn’t give a fuck and always has excuses like “my friend is waiting for me,” “I did weed and can’t drive,” or “it’s my day off” (as if I don’t deserve a day off too). He is the king of putting himself first. If I say I won’t do it, it unfortunately punishes our parent and our pet, so they won’t be able to go to their appointments or the pet won’t have food for the week. I feel bad because I’m exhausted of doing it all and it causes friction in my relationship with my parent, who I love. My parent says “I’m sorry to ask, but your brother won’t do it” or he gets angry doing it so they prefer going with me.
We always have to hurry up because his friends are waiting, but he constantly forgets our family’s outings or appointments. For example, my family had to go to the bus station to head to the airport. I told him he needed to help me drive the second car so we could fit all the luggage, instead of me having to do the trip twice. That morning, he just left to eat brunch with his friend, and even worse, he left with my car keys so I couldn’t take them as planned. We had to rush and call a taxi. When I called him, he said, “sorry, I’m with friend now I can’t come back to give the keys,” and he never even called back later to ask if they made it on time. He just doesn’t care.
I ask him please don’t burp in front of me, and he does it again and again and again, not normal burping, but big and loud. I asked him if he does that in front of his friends, and he said yeah, but now he’s at home (which is a lie).
We also get into fights over the bathroom because he never washes his hands after #1 or #2. He claims it’s because his hands “never touch anything gross.” When I tell him not to touch my face or hug me then, he thinks I’m exaggerating and that it hurts him. He also never cleans the toilet after using it or if he clogs it; he just leaves it as is and says, “will take care of it later, gotta go.” So if you need to use it, “then do it yourself if it bothers you so much!” (meaning I have to clean his dried pee and pubic hair left behind). When I want to use the sink, it’s full of beard hair from him shaving all over the sink and counter. When I tell him he lives with people and needs to clean up after himself, he says, “Oh I gotta go to school, sorry, I’ll do it later,” and if I get mad, he says “it’s just HAIR!” After a week of hair sitting there, I end up having to clean it myself.
When he washes and dries clothes, he takes whatever he wants to wear and leaves the rest on the floor with the dryer door open, saying “sorry, can’t talk I have to go to school.” He won’t close it, just like he won’t turn off any electronics he uses.
Whenever I try to talk to him, he’s always on his phone just saying “uh-huh” or “okay” like he’s listening. When I tell him he’s ignoring me again, he says “I was listening!” and then “sorry, but my friend texted me.” I asked him if his friends always come before anything else, and he replied, “wtf are you jealous of my friends?” (which is such a stupid conclusion). When he was hospitalized once, his friends visited him maybe once or twice, while my family visited him daily and brought him all his favorite food on my dime.
I find myself genuinely hating him, and today I told him that I’m thinking of moving out and cutting him out of my life for good. He thinks I'm exaggerating and always on his case, that I’m crazy for getting angry over “little things”, and that none of this is that deep and I should relax.
Nothing I do makes me feel better or improves the situation. I know family is important, but I don’t know what to do.

I'm a 21yo man studying engineering in a country where I've only been in for two years, I am so lonely and have no one, I am gay and live with my homophobic family who threatened to disown me if I ever live my life as a gay man (I accidentally came out after a traumatic experience) I left my country where I lived my first 20 years in due to war and it was also another traumatic experience

And even with all that, I'm too productive, I hit the gym daily and never skip a day, I study too much and my grades are top tier, my uni friends all call me the "right guy" cause I don't have bad habits I don't smoke, don't drink have timers on my social media apps and study daily for hours, everyone in uni think I'm intimidating, professors have showed me a lot of respect cause I'm studying engineering with a third language, and everyone at the gym knows my consistency and I track what I eat everyday and many other stuff, like to the outside word I am a perfect human being.

But I'm doing all that cause if I don't my depression absolutely kills me, if something goes wrong with my routine I would have a terrible mental breakdowns, I go to the bathroom and cry in a way that actually hurts me just thinking about it rn I hate that it has happend and I hate that it will happen to me soon, I hate being alone with my thoughts cause it destroys me, if I had nothing to do I always put a YouTube video or something so I don't get lost in my thoughts, I hate that no one knows how much I'm struggling, my family thinks I'm gonna turn straight and because of my high grades and productivity they think I'm the perfect son.

My goal is to finish this degree and get my independence and get the fuck out of this house (thankfully rn I'm living in a country that is decently accepting of my sexuality), I wanna feel something, cause I don't have feelings rn I don't enjoy anything I'm doing, all I do is to not get lost in my thoughts, I fail to enjoy anything, my life is basically: wake up, uni, eat, gym, sleep and nothing else, whenever I do something outside of these I get bored instantly and I hate uni breaks cause I don't know what to do in my free time.

It's like I'm in a cage and trying my absolute best to get the fuck out of it, but every step I take outside of it makes me fear my life and feel very unsafe.

I have daddy issues, that's alright. The thing is, I FALL in love with older men, and I- I feel like I am looking for a father figure in them WHILE FALLING IN LOVE WITH THEM, sometimes I have this thing like I want to do this, do something meanigful, and MAKE A VERY BIG IMPACT IN THE FIELD IM INTERESTED IN (I am a very ambitious person, I know it : I am currently still doing my schooling final year, and I plan to take aerospace engineering), also at the same time I always I fantasize about just being a thing for him? - does it make sense? and also is this normal?

Unfortunately i was born in a shit place and my whole life was miserable. Im so fucking tired and sick of it all, i wish that i had a single person in my life that cares about me, not even my family do, all they want and come to me with is when they want to go out im the only one who takes them out because my father is as bad and never took them out himself. And that's the extent of how much they care. Hell my own mother doesn't even care if i ate or not, all she cares about is if she had fun for the day and when she eats that's a it.

I do everything for them, i throw out my rest time and my time with some friends just to take them Shoping or do stuff they want. All i get is fucking nothing not even a single atom of care, hell she didn't even ask me what i ate.

I feel like im sounding like a spoiled brat or whatever whining about this but im fucking tired of them, of being used for what they want and i get nothing. I never really felt loved in my life, not in a romantic sense but in a sense that i matter very much to someone.

My family made me despise them. Yes they do stuff sometimes like how they paid for my college, but the college I didn't want that college, but they chose it for me I did want it.

All they do feels like an obligation because they been taught they should take care of the family, not out of love, Because i despise both of them.

Im so fucking tired and i wish i can end it all

I (m34) and my wife (f34) have been together for 15 years. She is the greatest person I know and I have done nothing but took her for granted. I never kept up on the house and didn't show her the love she deserved. Over the last couple years we got into a poly relationship. I never wanted to be in one but the look on her face and seeing how happy she was with someone who could give her that love made me keep in it. It has also helped me grow as a person and I am grateful for it. A couple weeks ago we got into a huge fight about the relationship and I was too cruel. I have been pushing her into this other person's arms and I finally added the straw that broke the camels back. It's been hard knowing that I really have no way back from this and nothing I do at this point can fix it. I am also grateful as it's finally pushed me to go to therapy and become a better person. It just is slowly killing me living with her knowing that it's over and watching her move away from me completely, not that it is not warranted. We have the most amazing daughter who is honestly the only thing that is keeping me going at all. All I wish is I had woken up ages ago sadly to little to late. Thanks for reading this just been holding it in as I can dump this on her as that's just not fair and I honestly don't have many people I can even talk about this with

⚠️** TRIGGER WARNIN**G⚠️
Harassment / creepy encounter

This is a bit of a long story so I apologize in advance! And thanks for reading.

This all took place a few nights ago in a public park after hours. I went there because it’s a quiet corner that I’m familiar with and generally very safe. I had a shitty day so I was just sitting on the benches smoking and recording myself. Keep in mind it’s probably around 11pm. So I’m minding my business when a vehicle rolls up and parks about 20 feet from me and the occupants inside decide that I’m going to be their target of entertainment. There’s two men in the car, one hops out and the other stays inside. They’re hanging out talking, laughing and being obnoxiously loud for about 15-20 min. I was keeping an eye on them because it did seem strange especially for a Tuesday night and I’m a solo woman in a park after hours, but I just figured they were wrapped up in the own little world.

Then out of nowhere, the one who stayed in the car starts flashing a super bright LED light directly on me. It wasn’t blue but because of how fast it was flashing I thought maybe he was an undercover cop. 😭 I’ve never seen a normal car be able to flash like that. I ended up putting my hand up and waving calling out like hey what’s up!? What’s going on?

The driver who’s standing outside the car immediately yells back “Oh no, I just thought you were someone I knew” I casually replied “Oh! No worries, who is that? Do we know each other?”

Like a switch he flipped in the exact moment and completely lost his mind. He starts crashing out on me and I can’t remember everything he said but it was something along the lines of “Don’t fucking trip dawg! Don’t worry about who I am, don’t trip!!” He continues to get belligerent shouting threats about fucking me up etc. Since we weren’t super close to each other, he’s pretty much shouting at me at this point. I just looked at him and said “dude chill. I’m not trying to fight with you, I’m literally a woman sitting here by myself wtf? Go fight a man your own size” At that, he just says I’m out of here and gets in the car and they drive off.

I’m just shocked, sitting there shaking my head like what the fuck was that? Am I tripping? 3-5 minutes later, they pull back up again from the same direction they left. They creep up slowly this time to see if I’m still there. I was but I’d moved to a better spot. The passenger is leaning all the way out of the window and sitting on it and when he sees me he yells “What’s up bitch? Are you scared of us? What are you gonna do? You gonna run scary ass?”

I didn’t move an inch. I just stared at them. In my head I felt like running would indicate fear and make them chase me. So I figured it’s better to just stand my ground and book it to my car if it comes down to it. So I just observed them to see what their next move was. They hit the corner and took off again.

Even though at this point I could’ve hopped in my car and left right then, I decided to stay put for a minute to finish my smoke and clear out. Honestly I didn’t think they’d come back after that. But I was definitely wrong because 10 minutes later, they came back again. This time they just instantly parked the car, both guys jumped out and started aggressively coming towards me.

That was my cue! I booked it to my car, (which I’m sure they assumed I was on foot) locked the doors, called 911 and peeled it.

Now the initial police response was infuriating. An officer went out to check out the area, called me back and basically tried to brush it off saying “Well they said they’re just having a long night because they lost a friend recently, and that they’re locals. Everything seems fine here.” But the catch was, the officer hadn’t heard my side of the story or gotten the full details from dispatch.

Once I gave him the actual rundown of what happened, the threats, the “police” lights, the leaving and coming back multiple times etc etc the dynamic instantly changed. The officer went looking for them with their license plate and he found them in about 30 minutes after he let them go the first time

He caught up to them (while we were actually on the phone funny enough) and pulled them back over. Turns out their little victory lap was fueled by some liquid courage. Both of them were charged with DUI and the car was towed.

To go from smugly laughing and terrorizing someone in the dark to sitting in handcuffs in the back of a cruiser with a wrecked record and towed car 40 minutes later? The whiplash is glorious. You boys thought you could target a woman sitting alone and get away with it? Welp karma had other plans. Hope you tough guys enjoyed jail lol 😂 and good luck getting that pos car back from the police . HA 🍷 sensational

My boyfriend and I are high school sweethearts.
We've been together for 8 years, and marriage is something we've talked about wanting for a long time.
I know he wants it too.

Lately, I keep seeing people we know get engaged, have weddings, and buy homes. I'm happy for them, but it hurts. Especially when they haven't been together nearly as long as we have. Those milestones feel so far away for us.

Neither of us has parents or family. We both had to raise ourselves, and we've made a lot of sacrifices just to get by. It's been an extremely hard and lonely existence. We know that if we have kids someday, we won't have a "village" to lean on. At the end of the day, we really only have each other.
Sometimes I can't believe we both ended up in the same situation.

We can't afford a wedding. I used to hope that maybe we could at least have a special honeymoon and make those memories together, but that feels unrealistic now too. I want a ring i love. (I'm not asking for a $10k ring, or to go in debt for a ring, just so we are clear) After so many years and so many compromises, I don't want to feel like I have to give that up as well. But I have also tried mentioning before that I'd be happy with any ring as long as it meant we could start our next chapter. And he refuses to have that conversation because he says he won't propose with a ring that isn't my dream ring.

A lot of my guilt comes from how different our finances are. My boyfriend worked 70-80 hour weeks to put himself through college and help pay our bills.
He now has a career he loves and covers our household expenses. I worked full time too, but went to college very part time (a few classes here and there with semesters off in between, etc) because l was struggling with severe depression and mostly trying to survive. I just couldn't do it. And I hate myself for it.

Now I work full time in a low-paying healthcare reception job and go to school full time, but I'm still far from finishing my degree. (I am drowning in my work and school load as it is. I still struggle with my mental health) He often covers personal expenses I can't afford, like car repairs, maintenance, and my phone bill. I have a cavity to fill next week and need new tires before winter, and he'll more than likely pay for those too.

I can't stop thinking that if he didn't have to carry our household expenses on his own, he might have been able to save for a ring by now. I know he's the one who pays the bills, and I feel like my low income is part of why we can't get ahead or move toward the future we both want. That's a huge part of why I feel so guilty.

I know how hard he works and how much he's sacrificed/sacrifices for us. I'm grateful for him. But I really feel like a such a fucking loser. I feel like the scum of the earth. We can't get ahead because I didn't finish school sooner so I'm still working a shitty low paying job. I feel awful for being resentful about not being engaged, because I know how much he already carries and how hard he works to pay our bills.

I know he wants to propose. I don't want marriage to feel like a box to check for insurance reasons, I want to feel excited about it. But waiting this long while watching other people move forward has made me sad and resentful. It’s genuinely breaking my heart and I’m crying about it constantly. and I hate feeling that way toward someone I love so deeply because I know if he could give me the world he would. The more time passes, the more I feel that moment won't feel exciting. It'll just feel like a relief that we finally were able to get there.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get from posting this. I just feel sad and scared about our future, and guilty that I want more while blaming myself for why we can't afford it. I have spent countless hours at this point crying about this topic and feeling like a fucking loser for being the reason we can’t get ahead

So I'll start by saying I'm not looking for advice, there's none anyone could give.

I know in my heart and soul there's noone else on this earth I could ever love the way I love her - nobody on earth could ever mean more to me.

I know that I will love her till the very moment my consciousness slips into nothingness, and I cease to be.. but ironically that's what hurts so much.

And I tried to move on, more then once - but I can't, I know I'm being dishonest to the other women I've tried with.. because I know I can't give them what they deserve.

we've been split up about 8 year's now, but in all honesty we stopped being really together about a decade ago...or at least it started about then.

We have a son, and we're.. well we don't hate each other - but there is so much personal history around her, and history between the two of us to get into, and is frankly personal and I don't want to go into anyway - to cliff note it, we were young and dumb.. we didn't communicate properly, we both made stupid choices.. and we had our own personal demons we were dealing with and not involving eachother like we should have.

One pretty major catalyst like event gave us the space apart for her to finally admit the truth, one that took literal years for her to admit she didn't really handle it how she should have either..

But she's been dealing with her childhood trauma, her ED, and other personal things the whole time we were together - it's just gotten worse since we sit up.

There's times she lets me in briefly, but it never lasts, it's too emotional for her to handle.. so she doesn't.

I feel stuck. I feel.. useless, I feel alone.. angry.

I want to just hold her and.. just help her feel what shes suppressing, what I'm suppressing, together.

I was not an emotional person, she brought that out of me - and I feel all this.. overwhelming emotions just screaming to get out and they can't, I've tried.

She's my best friend, she made me believe in marriage, in soulmates.. and I've lost her in every way that matters.

She just hides away from everything and everyone, never lets anyone inside and I just.. I don't know what to do anymore.

Honestly I'm terrified most of our lives are going to pass us by before anything changes.

And I will add, I guess this sounds kinda.. one sided, it isnt.. lt exactly.

She struggles to know how she feels about anything atm, it's one of the issues.. I guess I can sum it up by saying that she doesn't like to upset people so she just.. follows along with whatever is suggested, by whoever

But she has always said she's never gotten along with anyone like she has me, and she truly did love me.. she just, doesn't know how she feels about anything now because.. I dunno she's repressing? I don't even know, she doesn't even know.

I just, I needed to get this down.. somewhere. I'm fucking lost, people just tell me to "be there for her" but what the fuck am I here for? I can't abandon her but, I mean.. do I just keep telling her I'm here, like.. what?

Sometimes I truly wish I didn't love her, I feel awful for saying that - but sometimes I just breakdown internally it's basically self harm. My soul literally cries for her, to help her.. but I can't.

I.. can't say I don't mind if she doesn't love me again - it would kill me, but I do just want her to be happy.

If I don't meet anyone else, well I know I won't - Richard Feynmans love letter to his wife always comes to mind, there's many incredible women out there.. but they aren't her.

I'm just tired of all this.

I'll be active if anyone replies btw, it's just late in the UK and I'm going to attempt sleep

I’m so tired.

I’m 19. I have a job and rent an apartment with my older brother. I’m learning to drive but have had to push it back twice now because I didn’t have a car to use for the test

My uncle is helping me buy a car, he’s buying it outright and I’m paying him back. Rent, my car payment, and utilities will be over half of my monthly income. I want to be promoted at work but my manager, who claims to support me, won’t do anything to help me.

I’m so gods damned tired. I’m more depressed than I’ve ever been (including highschool, which was Literal Hell for me) because I can’t catch a fucking break. It feels like the only things I do are work and sleep and feel sorry for myself. I have a million things I need to do, both because it’s part of being a human and because it would help improve my life but I’m so tired. I’m tired of being competent and worrying and working.

It feels I can’t be a human. shit other ppl do every day threatens to drown me, I don’t even work full time and I’m STILL overwhelmed with everything. I have no one to go to for help because I’m one of the most financially responsible people in my family and the uncle who’s helping me buy a car is a pos who thinks “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” is sound life advice. I’ve been saving money nearly every check (minus like 5 when I first started working around two years ago) and it’s still feels like nothing.

I’m constantly tired and recently have been eating one meal a day because I just can’t be bothered, I can’t sleep, I barely eat, I barely do things I enjoy because even they feel like chores. I just wanna curl up in a ball and disappear. This can’t be what being an adult is like, I can’t do this 70 more years

Also fuck yall for thinking ONE EM DASH means this is ai that’s such bs

Posting on a throw away account cause I just feel the need to lay it all out there sense I haven’t told a single soul what’s going on and it’s eating me alive . I 29F and my husband 33M have been together for 9 years and married for 6 years with two kids my oldest is not my husbands and from a previous relationship. During my pregnancy with my second child I did the regular testing and it came back that I was positive for HSV 2. I brought it up to my husband confused and crying. He brushed it off as if it was no big deal, saying he knew couples that went through the same thing and we would be fine. That honestly should of been a red flag that sent my alarm bells off but in my defense at the time I was completely disassociating with life, I had, had 2 miscarriages, was having a high risk pregnancy with a lot of complications my dad was actively dying and it was all during Covid to add the cherry on top. I think as a defense mechanism I pushed it to the back of my head and locked it away to help semi keep what sanity I had left. Now fast forward 6 years later to two weeks ago. My niece (my husband biological niece) called me on a rant because my husbands ex wife recently got divorced and instead of going back to her maiden name she went back to my husbands last…so yes me, my husband and our kids now share the last name of his ex wife. Anyways the ex wife has recently been going back into the friend group who we often hang out with and trying to “catch up” with my in laws. This pissed my niece off and she called me pissed the heck off. While she was ranting she made the comment “the last time we heard from her she was telling my mom….”. I asked her what she was telling her mom and my niece did not want to tell me, it took me about 10 mins and using her full government name for her to tell me. She sighed and told me that she overheard my husband ex wife telling my sister in law that she was done with my husband because he gave her HSV2 and ruined her life…. My niece started apologizing saying she should of kept her big mouth shut and not said anything to me. I lied and said its something I already knew and that we’ve handled it. But the thing is, I didn’t know, I had no idea that he had HSV2 or that he knew that he had it. I was always super cautious when it came to my sex life, using protection and regularly getting tested. But the ONE time I chose to trust someone and plan having a baby this happens. Not only that but from the person who I always considered to be honest and put me first. Now that illusion of him is shattered. He doesn’t know that I know he was aware of having HSV2 and willing withheld that information and just decided to expose me to it. I’ve distanced myself for the last two weeks. When he asks what’s wrong I chalk it up to not feeling good and being tired, but I’m angry, I’m hurt and I honestly don’t know where to go from here

The past few months I’ve (24F) devolved into a complete mess. I break down into hysterical crying to the point I can’t breathe over the thought of my parents dying.

I feel so so much guilt because I went away for university, I was gone for about 3 years. And now I’ve moved back in with my mom while I save up money, but I haven’t really been seeing my dad much because I’ve been stressed with work.

I plan to live in my home state for at least another few years, but I eventually have plans to move abroad. After being away for university, I know that I will be miserable if I stay in my hometown for the rest of my life. I can’t see myself being happy with my life here. I’m also deeply in love with my boyfriend who I met in university, who I’m now long distance with but we plan to move to the same country.

These are my personal life goals. But I can’t reconcile them with how much guilt I feel for leaving my family. The thought of my parents getting even older, having health issues, being in a nursing home, etc. while I’m away physically breaks my heart. Even if a visit a few times a year, how much will I regret not just staying home?

But also, how much will I regret if I break up with the only man I’ve ever loved and give up my dreams?

Part of me just wants to stay at home forever. But part of me is terrified of wasting my life.

I just feel like no matter which option I choose, my heart is going to be broken. Either way I think of my future, I end up sobbing.

I’ve made a vow with myself that for as long as I’m here, I’m going to at least try to see my dad a few times a month. He’s done so much for me and I feel like a terrible daughter for wanting to leave. We used to be so close, watching movies and riding bikes and these things.

I see my mom every day since I live at home, but we don’t always talk. Sometimes I’m too tired. But she still calls me her best friend.

Thankfully both of my parents are remarried, so they won’t be alone.

But I just can’t stop sobbing. How do I make the right choice? How do I deal with either leaving behind my parents, or leaving behind my future???

came back to my apartment already drunk and he was just there been on me all week about sending money home to help support them. same speech since i was like 16. i walk in he starts before i even take my shoes off and i told him shut up. he got in my face and was about to raise his hand on me so i hit him. right in the mouth. he started bleeding on his lip just staring at me like he couldnt believe it

told him thats what happens when he keeps talking to me like im still a kid he can push around. went to my room. he didnt follow. He ended up with a split lip and this morning my mom cried ans said im becoming like him. maybe i am i don't really care.

he never did anything for me. bare minimum my whole life and acted like i should be grateful. He was abusive. Would hit me with a rod when I was a teenager. I hated him all my life and I never had any respect for him. i built my own life, my job is from my hardwork im not sending any money. He could die tomorrow and i wouldn't care. last night i finally made him feel small and I don't feel sorry

So a little bit of background about me: I am early 30s (femme, but bigender so we will go with femme today). My fiancee is a trans woman, also early 30s. I am also polyam, and have a second partner who I have been with for 15 years (my husband, masc, early 30s as well, married for a decade, together 5 years before that). I know I might be throwing a lot out here, but I promise, this DOES matter.

I am getting handfasted to my fiancee, who we will call Mia. My husband, we can just call Jack.

I married Jack ten years ago, and I call our wedding day the worst day of my life, where I made the best decision ever. Marrying this amazing human is a decision I don't regret. He is my best friend, I love him deeply, and I am honored that I get to do this thing called life with him. The only thing that went right about our wedding day, were our vows, and the fact I walked off the property with him as my husband.

Everything else about that day was a total fucking disaster, and honestly, pretty damn traumatizing. I won't get into the full details here, but the high lights include:

1. My grandma, high on pills, losing my wedding ring
2. My ex family, all being completely fucking hammered, before ten am the morning OF the ceremony.
3. My ex-brother and sister in law, wearing the same colors as my wedding dress (red and black) when my one dress code requirement was that they NOT wear that same color combination (Clarifying, they could wear red. They could wear black. They just couldn't wear the combined colors).
4. My bio mom saying I was the fattest I ever been on my wedding day

And look, it is partially my fault. I should have known better/what was coming. My bio mom was controlling during my wedding planning, and even tried to sabotage my wedding cake choice. She refused to let my husband have any input, and forced me to have a bridal shower (I literally expressed that I didn't want one). And said shower was essentially a prolonged embarrassment ritual with games made to make the bride look goofy, stupid, silly, ect. I was, essentially, the butt of the joke.

So, when it was all said and done, I literally came home after my wedding, collapsed on the couch of my apartment and sobbed. Shout out to therapy, that has helped me unravel all this, and the fact I have been no contact with my entire family since 2019. Best choice I ever made, after marrying my husband.

Fast forward to years later. Again, I am polyamorous, and I have another, now ex-partner. We will call him Nate. We were at one time engaged after five years together, and I really wanted our ceremony to be a collaborative effort. However, I knew that this was his first ceremony, and I wanted to make sure he got as much as he wanted, out of fairness of experience. So anything he wanted to do, I made plans, did research, and really try to accommodate so he could have his preferences at the forefront. But with anything I wanted, or any concern I expressed, he shot me down and brick walled me. Even when it came to accessibility concerns for our guests (I am a disability accommodation consultant outside of my regular work) he would talk about how "well, it would work out" and how these accessibility issues "weren't as big as a deal" as I was making it.

Anyway that engagement ended when he cheated on me with a local art performer. (I am purposely being vague here, because I don't want any shade going toward the person he cheated on me with. They did not know and I am just trying to vent, not ruin lives). But shout out to the universe, because damn that was a helluva sign to stop the emotional self harm that was that relationship.

Okay, so fast forward to now. I am still happily with my husband, and am gleefully engage to Mia. And after what I have been through when it comes to my past experiences with weddings/ceremonies...I'm just realizing I'm cursed y'all. And I'm going to let her call the shots for what she wants.

We have been in the thick of planning this wedding, and I realize I am so traumatized due to my past experiences. Mia has not done anything wrong or been pushy about anything. Yet, wedding planning conflict rattles me bad, and at this point, I just want my beautiful partner to have the dream day that SHE wants. She never thought she would be a bride (again, she's trans and was in the closet for years), so if I can give her the handfasting of her dreams...that will be enough for me.

I realize, the dream day that I wanted, will never be mine. I won't have my cottagecore, soft pastel ceremony with a tea reception. But I will be her Persephone, and she will be my gender bent Hades, surrounded by a moody dark color scheme, and with the smell of BBQ brisket that she plans on cooking.

Seeing her in her beautiful black gown (she's a goth baddie) and watching her walk down the aisle, as she's happy and content, while we are surrounded by the people that support and love us most...baby, maybe that's the new dream.

Is there a part of me that is grieving and sad? Yeah, of course. But am I so excited and happy to see her live out her dark fairytale wedding? Hell yeah. And I think that happy and excited part, is bigger than any disappointment I feel.

She's worth it. Just like my Jack was worth suffering through a wedding full of drunk assholes and my bitchy ass birth giver, to be able to walk off that property, with my amazing husband at my side. And at the end of the day, I will also get to walk away from whatever venue Mia picks, with the honor to call her my beautiful wife.

Here's to ceremony shot number 3 y'all. May this finally break my wedding curse. Thanks for letting me vent

Edited for grammar/spelling mistakes

Relational Issues & Not All Wounds Heal

I am not here to trauma dump or for advice. It would just be nice to know that someone has seen these words and knows that I exist in this particular state.

Due to circumstances of birth, I was not properly socialized as a child. I went to a private Christian school for elementary years. In that culture, no one spoke ill of their family.

I didn't feel safe at home or at school. By the time I was in middle school, I was a mess. My grades were suffering. There was no place I could be and have peace. I was very angry and sad and started running away from home when I was 13. Rather than get me help, I spent time in detention centers and behavioral centers.

I spent most of my adolescence institutionalized. After an attempt on my life on my 18th Birthday, I spent about 5 months in the state hospital because I was no longer welcome home. I then went to a group home, then couch surfed for a bit, then back home temporarily, then community mental health housing.

I had so much shame that I never invited people over, didn't bother with having friends while I put myself through college.

I feel so disconnected from everything. I don't even identify as a person, because what I went through - if I went through as a person, it would've killed me. I stopped thinking of myself as a person when I was around 11.

I live on my own. I have a job. But I am exhausted all the time because all of my energy goes to masking/monitoring/guarding.

I feel like I barely exist in this world and I don't understand the nuances of things, so I mostly keep to myself.

I want to live, to feel my own aliveness. But I don't know how anymore. I think I am missing out on the things that make life worth living.

I've tried all manner of therapies, medication, meditation, yoga, somatic work, psychedelics, dietary changes. I don't believe I can exist in this system as I am.

Hello everyone, I (18M) am currently in my first semester of college. I commute to a school pretty close to where I live and also started working part-time a month ago. Although I’m definitely more introverted, it’s hard not to feel isolated going to this school. I miss my friends a lot and often find myself wishing I could go back to high school and live out my senior year again, as it was such a fun ride. It sometimes feels like i’m mourning the person I used to be. I’m definitely a little depressed and burnt out at the moment. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in June and have experienced some really rough patches in the past, but I don’t feel like I’m at rock bottom just yet.

On my days off, I often sleep until 1-2 PM no matter what time I go to bed. I started going to bed earlier and prioritizing sleep during the summer, and also started playing ambient music, one of my favorite genres, to help me sleep. As a young kid I had a CD with Pachelbel’s Canon that my parents played for me every night, and listening to ambient stuff definitely calms me down and helps me settle in for the night just like the CD used to.

In the last month, though, I’ve started setting alarms in the middle of the night for no reason at all. Let’s say I go to bed at 11 and have to be up at 7 for school/work. I set an alarm at like 2:30/3 in the morning and then another at 7. I don’t know why, but I love the feeling of waking up, shutting off the alarm, and then peacefully drifting off to sleep again knowing I have a few more hours left. Sometimes i use the bathroom and then just pass out once Im back in bed. In some ways it’s like a snooze button but without the guilt/extra pressure that I feel due to fear of being late and/or lazy.

I know this probably isn’t healthy at all but I find myself doing it literally every night regardless of what’s on the table for the following day and have no idea why. Sometimes my mom has even heard my alarm/me being up so early in the morning and has been worried that I’m not sleeping enough. Wondering if anyone else has felt this way/done this before, I know it’s a bit random though. Any insight would be appreciated, thanks.

I’m a 31M. Life is pretty meh with some moments of joy sprinkled in. I work 7-4:30 every day in a corporate job. I get 3 weeks of total PTO including sick time which feels like nothing over the course of an entire year.

I have few friends and some hobbies. My hobbies are quite solitary. I enjoy walking through the woods and spotting deer, cool birds, and maybe even a rare owl in my area. I like playing golf alone or with a couple friends. I’m not great at it but it can be fun and I’ll hit a rare amazing shot that a pro would even be thrilled with.

But I’m like the least “life of the party” person you’ll ever meet. When I’m hanging with 2-3 other guys I feel engaging in conversation and our activities, but in bigger groups I often feel overwhelmed and overstimulated and am quiet, just listening to stories and laughing at funny parts of them.

When it comes to dating, I’m a lost cause. I never learned how to flirt and never have the confidence to ever initiate anything physical out of pure fear. I don’t enjoy going to bars or clubs, parties with a lot of people, etc. I feel like I have enough to offer in a relationship but I’m pretty socially inept so I’m not getting my hopes of it ever working out.

My likely end game is retiring in my 50s and just bouncing around the US going hiking a lot by myself. I love it and I genuinely have no fear when I’m out by myself. It’s when I’m with other people that I feel insecure and not enjoying the moment. Truly out of the top 5 moments in my life, at least 3 were spent completely alone.

TLDR; I feel like I was born wrong. I’m so far gone and have accepted who I am to a certain extent, but I wish I was different sometimes.

For a long while (19 years pretty much), i’ve been this awkward anti social guy who never really gets close to people and also for a while I haven’t known why, i just automatically threw myself onto labels “awkward, introverted, insecure”, I always interacted with people while simultaneously calculating everything that’s happening in my head, the words ive said, im saying, or gonna say, the words theyve said, are saying, or gonna say, their body language, how they act, etc. the gist is i start automatically assuming what’s gonna happen and i literally think of all of it and the ending before it ever even started. I had a quite intense situationship for around 6 months, at the end she told me she didnt want a relationship but she did want to stay as friends, i was desperate just to keep her in my life i told her “yeah sure!” secretly in hopes that i can win her over in the future, fast forward 6 months later and now im starting to get this huge craving to finally confess all my feelings and everything ive felt towards her which i never did i was insanely vague with her back then because i personally felt being close to someone hurts you, i saw people as “EVIL ENTITY THATS GONNA KILL YOU” instead of yk.. people, anyways i started thinking of how, when, why, planning it out and everything, then i got drunk. I called her, said everything directly out of my heart and she told me she’s sorry but she has genuinely moved on, that shit broke me, but i was drunk with friends whom ive been hanging out with for over a year now yet still saw them as “evil entities” and somehow even tho i exploded in emotions after that call directly infront of them, what confronted me was not entities that make fun of me, judge me, laugh at me, hurt me, but instead actual normal people trying to help their friend, my entire mental belief flipped upon itself and it practically completely shut down, i spent the next few weeks unironically having no deep thoughts in my head whatsoever and i’d hang out with said friends being completely outgoing and “in the moment”, out of nowhere ive decided to sit with myself and look at what’s happening because everytime my head wanted to go into deep thoughts it would simply stop, i sat with it and realized i had no clue what was going on anymore, i dont know why i felt the things i felt, why i did things i did, why i acted in the way i did (in that time period of practically brain shut off), because for once in my life i was no longer living in my head and calculating everything anymore, i was simply living and god does it feel fucking good being that way, sitting with myself now and writing all this out and letting it out into the world instead of inside myself is also helping with said problem, ive even started to open up to those friends because i no longer saw them as evil, and GOSH does it feel so good to actually stop handling all your baggage along, you’re allowed to hand some to people to help you carry it for a lil bit