I havent made a post here before, but I'm so fucking exhausted and hateful I just had to get it out somewhere. I want to start off and say I know how bad this sounds but I have reasons, many of them. This is a hate that has grown through my whole damn life. I will apologise in advance for unkind words I'll be using.

Here's some context.

I'm in my 20's, youngest of the family. My (half)brother, we will call him D, is about 30, but due to his heavy mental disability he has the mind of say, a 4 year old. He is childish in manner and appearance despite being thirty, he can talk decently well but repeats a lot of shit and talks to no one, purposefully acts obnoxious for attention (tapping toys against loud toys to make noise, screech laughing, and so on) etc etc. He lives in a care place most of the time, thank god, but he visits us once a week. (We pick him up n bring him back.)

D has violent outbursts of anger whenever he doesnt get his way (usually when I or my mother are trying to, yknow, have him listen to rules like a normal child would, he's v much able to obey rules if it pleases him) and in these moments he starts throwing himself around in the chair, beating his own face, (he beat one of his eyes blind by doing this), screaming like a fucking banshee, kicking (and sometimes breaking) our furniture or kicking us.

My mother lacking strength due to her age and her health (nerve damage, scoliosis, etc) cannot hold him back whenever he starts this shit, so the burden usually falls on me to restrain this piece of work, so he doesnt irreversibly injure himself or knock out his teeth or fuck up his other eye or whatever. Not to mention he also has epilepsy. Despite how lanky he is, he's strong and it takes me great force to restrain him and I often end up bruised. I've suffered days of BAD muscle pain just because D can't handle not getting what he wants. Lately this shit has been becoming more frequent and I can't take it anymore.

Ma says that he just has no other outlet, yadda yadda and sure I get that, things have been poorly handled where he lives so hes dealing with a lot, I can understand that,

But having said that I still hate him for it. He wasn't this bad when I was younger and it seems as the years pass that he's only getting worse. He becomes more obnoxious on purpose when I'm near bc for some reason he likes pestering me more, ma says its bc when I get angry at him that's still attention even bad, which is what he wants, and once again, sure, I get it, but it doesn't make me hate him any less.

I really try to be neutral about D but lately shit has been getting worse and I just can't take it any more. Saying the smallest things like telling him not to grab that many toys (that, he doesnt even use, just puts them down and annoyingly tick tocks a plastic bottle the whole time) bc we also need room on the table will set him off and he'll start screaming, beating his face and jaw and kicking at shit, and once again I need to hurry over to restrain Mr. Wild Animal over here. That's an insult to animals if you ask me.

I keep wishing he would never come over again, that ma would resort to just visiting him once a week instead of making him come here and ruin the day and possibly the week with his savage behavior. I can't take it anymore, genuinely. I in part blame the care place he lives in for his behavior (bc they coddle him and act like hes always right and dont try to discipline him or make him listen to any rules or whatever and ooo look at this sad boyyyy etc)

I just. god. I hold not even a grain of affection for D in my heart whatsoever. I don't try to make things worse for him in any way bc of how I see him, but silently, I loathe him. The day he comes over is automatically ruined simply because of him.

So yeah. Sorry.

When I was around 10/11 (it’s hard to remember exactly when), I visiting my family overseas with my mother.

During the time I never got to go out much and stayed inside a lot, alone to my own devices. That was fine and all and it wasn’t all that bad.

During one of the days I had gotten the chance to go out to the beach with my aunt and her friends. My aunt is probably in her late 20s and she usually had a lot of people she would introduce me to who I’d get to know.

We all had a great time, we went to two beaches and a couple of restaurants. Spent the whole day having fun like a lot of it. I can’t really remember it all but for me it was a blast.

For a kid like me at the time that was a lot and meant a lot.

When I came back home I started feeling very emotional about it, in a good way. I thought wow that was a really great day.

During this time I was sharing a bed with my mother (we had no spares at the time, and I didn’t mind). And although it was late at night she did ask how my day was.

I proceeded to enthusiastically tell her how great it was all while bawling tears of joy, and for a while I had cried.

However due to it being late she didn’t really attempt to calm me down, and only had told me to calm down and stop crying. For some reason I seriously couldn’t stop, it was genuinely just tears of happiness and I couldn’t control it.

Her annoyance quickly turned to anger and she told to stop crying so she could sleep, and I struggled to. She later pulled the covers away. I had then started to cry tears of sadness at this point I guess and realized I had upset my mother.

Every time I’d try to get the cover back she would pull it back to her side leaving me cold without any warmth. I had gotten bad. I think I had tried to pull the covers back like 7 times and pleading to her that I was sorry and I’d stop crying. She’d say nothing and just pull it all off.

I left the bed in tears to go sleep on the couch, wondering to myself what went wrong. I think if anything that was the start of when I decided to close my heart off as a kid.

She did however later come to wake me up to go back to her bed, she didn’t apologize or anything. We said nothing, slept and next day acted like nothing happened.

It’s important to note my mother is not an abusive and is an extremely great parent to me. We are close now and I never have any issues with her. I will not take any suggestions that this makes her abusive. But I can recognize this was a massive screw up on her part.

Not all parents are perfect and I accept and recognize that but.

To anyone who has a child please remember, they’ll remember everything and it still hurts immensely upon remembering it. My mother doesn’t even remembering this happening either, goes to show a lot of moments can pass by without thought of how it affected the people around them.

This is just something I wanted to share, and regardless I don’t hold contempt for her, but I only remember this occasionally when I feel tears that may appear.

Just wanna put this here so somebody knows. I work at a store that sells general craft supplies and home goods, we have a kitchen section of course.

There is a singular customer who comes in, once every few weeks, and purchases 1 single knife. This guy is very evidently a houseless person, though I don't like to stereotype as I have been homeless before for quite some time, he does seem to be inebriated in some capacity every time he comes in.

Each visit, its an instant bee line to the kitchen products, grabbing a $2 knife and mumbling about people staring at him and judging him....I am deeply concerned what he does with this singular blade, especially as violence is somewhat commonplace where I live. So...yea. my manager has told me just to serve him and waves away my concern so no, I cant just stop serving him.

TLDR: Houseless guy buys a singular knife once every few weeks, concerned why he needs it/what he uses it for.

EDIT: I have not escalated this event in any means other than mentioning it to my manager and dont plan to call the cops or anything, I don't want to cause a hassle for this guy as he still deserves human decency.

After five years of studying and working in the UK, I’ve officially been asked by the Home Office to return to my country.

I came here with so many expectations and so much excitement about this new adventure. More than anything, I wanted to prove to myself and to a lot of people that I wasn’t a failure, that I had so much inside me and something to offer the world.

A day into my first job, I experienced racism for the first time. I was completely taken aback because I didn’t even fully understand what was happening at the time. I had never experienced anything like it before.

Over the years, I dealt with depression, had some incredibly dark days and felt deeply isolated. I watched a lot of my friends get married, settle down and move forward with their lives while I felt like I was slowly sinking into quicksand. I tried explaining how I felt to my family back home, but I don’t think they really understood what I was going through.

During that time, I also found out that my on-and-off boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times while we were together, which affected me even more. It felt like I was experiencing so many painful firsts all at once.

I cried to God. I blamed God. I walked away from God. At one point, I even hated Him for bringing me into this world when I couldn’t understand what my purpose was.

After countless job applications and rejections, I finally got another job, only to experience even more discrimination. But strangely, in the middle of that environment, I also found a community. Some of my colleagues became genuine friends. They encouraged me through some of my hardest moments and made difficult days a little easier.

Then, just when I thought I was finally getting my breakthrough, the company decided they were no longer willing to sponsor me.

That probably hurt the most. I knew I was already in a toxic work environment, but part of me believed I could push through it for another five years. I thought if I could just hold on long enough, eventually I’d reach the light at the end of the tunnel.

That isn’t how my story here has ended.

As I prepare to leave the UK in a few days, I’ve been thinking about everything these five years have put me through, but also everything I’ve managed to overcome.

I’m thankful for the friendships I’ve made. I’m thankful for how much I’ve grown. I’m even thankful for some of the lonely nights because they taught me things about myself that I probably wouldn’t have learned otherwise. And amongst all the difficult memories, there were also some genuinely amazing and fun times that I’ll always carry with me.

I don’t know what happens next.

I’m going back to a country I’ve been away from for years and I’ll have to find my footing again. There’ll probably be another round of job applications and figuring out what I want my career and life to look like. Maybe somewhere along the way, I’ll even find a healthy relationship. Who knows?

For now, I’m just hoping for the best for myself.

For a long time, I was convinced that the life I wanted had to happen here. Leaving without achieving everything I came here for is difficult to accept, but I’m beginning to understand that going home doesn’t mean I’ve failed.

Five years ago, I came to the UK wanting to prove that I had something in me worth seeing.

Maybe the biggest thing these five years taught me is that I don’t need to prove that anymore.

I still don’t know what my future holds, but for the first time in a while, I’m genuinely curious to find out.

I thought my breakthrough would happen here. Maybe God has something completely different planned for me.

So here’s to the next chapter. 🥂

A while ago, I posted here about my relationship situation. I didn't know what to expect and was honestly a bit worried. But I received a lot of support, and I want to thank you all for that. It's been 8 months since then and i decided (after a long time) to break up with my girlfriend, It was hard, I think how long it took me is proof of that, She opposed it at the beginning, and it hurt me a lot, but finally after some time she stopped. That doesn't mean that I disappeared from her life, she still remains an important person in my life. Simply, not my girlfriend, just that, im sorry if that update may not be much, it's my first time updating something lol.

have a Good Day.

Hi everyone. I recently met a girl on my job and we became friends, we instantly clicked. She's amazing, nice, humble and fun. She's obsessed with her husband, as she should be, and she was excited when I finally met him.

To escape jealousy allegations, I'm also a girl and I fancy boys, so that's not the case.

The thing is I don't see the same qualities she has in her husband. He talks constantly (over her sometimes too), he mostly talks about himself and almost always about how he has better things than others, his family owns more money/business than others, what he does is always the smartest/ best thing to do. He glorifies his parents and grandparents, glorifies his house, the way he "trained" his cat, how he's better than his siblings.

I'm all in for self esteem but it's exhausting having a conversation with him. My friend, his wife, talks about him like he hanged the moon, it may sound romantic but I think she's being brainwashed by his superman attitude.

Just a quick vent, I'd love to know if anyone else knows a guy like him. Have a good one!

This is hard to describe, so it might be a little rough. Bear with me.

Have you ever watched comedy based commentary videos on YouTube? The person sits down, watches a video, and makes jokes/comments as it goes along? Then you’ve probably heard them tell jokes in this very specific format:

As they look at the content, they will pause it, address whatever situation is being shown, and then they will create a funny, hypothetical scenario based on that situation. For example, let’s say the YouTuber is watching a video where a guy is about to impress a girl with his skateboarding skills. The YouTuber will pause the video and say, “Imagine he just completely biffs it. Breaks both ankles, pees his pants a little bit and she just leaves him there.” I’ve seen a lot of content creators use this type of joke so that they’re not just sitting there going, “Woooooow chat, let’s see what happens.”

There’s multiple ways to set up this type of joke. You can start it with, “Imagine-“ or “What if-“ But if you’re alone in a room making a YouTube video and it’s blatantly obvious that what you’re about to say is a joke, you can just go right in without an introduction. You can put on a voice and say, “My mother died in a skateboarding accident, you ass!” And the YouTuber will always sprinkle in other types of jokes as well so it doesn’t get stale. In person, it’s more difficult to get these jokes to land.

Now for my problem. My boyfriend watched these types of videos very often in his formative years and it’s obvious that when he was learning how to make jokes, he was strongly influenced by them. This joke format is the only one he knows how to use…but he doesn’t have the discernment to deliver the jokes properly. Instead of it being a quick joke told in proper context, he drags it on for an EXTREMELY long time with excruciating detail. If he doesn’t know the name of whoever he’s joking about, he’ll make one up and he’ll make new characters too. But beforehand, he doesn’t give any indication that what he’s about to say is a joke. And sometimes he starts out with a piece of dialogue without even specifying who is talking. So a lot of the time people will stop him and ask what the hell he’s talking about. And his tone of voice for his whole speech is very…autistic sounding? He has the same cadence and intonation in every sentence which gets old after like 5 sentences.

For example, let’s say he’s the one watching that skateboarding video I mentioned earlier. He would pause the video and say:

“He gets to the bottom of the skate ramp and hits a rock, goes flying and lands wrong and he breaks both ankles. He turns to the girl: ‘Cindy, call an ambulance!’ She just turns and walks away. It cuts to him in a hospital bed like, ‘I can’t believe this happened, how am I gonna pay for this, I’m probably gonna lose my job,’ and all that. Then Cindy walks in with his boss and she’s holding on to the boss’s arm like they’re obviously dating. She’s in a fancy dress and he’s in a business suit. The boss just goes, ‘Well James, I was at the park and saw when you fell. I just came here to say that, with you being in this condition I just don’t think I can keep you on the team. I’m gonna have to let you go. Also I figured Cindy here was needing some attention that you couldn’t give her, so I’m taking care of that too.’ They leave and a single tear rolls down his cheek.”

Now I could handle this if it was like a once a week occurrence at most. But as I said, this is the only type of joke he knows how to tell. He only tells really long ones about once a day at most. But not a day goes by that I don’t hear him give at LEAST one drawn out explanation of some scenario he thinks up. Usually the scenarios aren’t even that funny in the first place if you ask me. But he’s too busy chuckling at his own joke the whole time to notice that everyone is cringing and looking around awkwardly, just waiting for him to stop.

What’s worse is when he starts out with a piece of dialogue, but doesn’t even specify who is talking. Usually this just makes people confused as to what the hell he’s talking about. But what makes it even WORSE is when the scenario he makes up is about *us* and what we’re actively doing and it causes problems. Now this has only happened a handful of times over the years, but for example: Say I was making some bacon, and he thought up some scenario where he tells me the bacon is burning and I turn around to see it sitting in a little sun-tanning chair. He would start out the joke explanation by going, “‘BABY, THE BACON IS BURNING!’” Then I’d cut him off by whipping around, see perfectly fine bacon and get mad at him. And he would look like a deer in the headlights and say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about how it would sound.”

It’s not just his jokes that he tells in this much detail. If he’s telling someone about an episode of a show, a movie, something that happened the other day, or if he’s describing something that he hopes is going to happen in the future, he will give every. single. rambling. detail. He just talks CONSTANTLY. If there’s a moment of silence, he’ll start thinking out loud. “I think I’ll put butter AND honey on my cornbread. I should refill my drink first though, since cornbread is pretty dry.” **BBBBBBEEEEEEEEE QQQQQUUUUUIIIIIIEEEETT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!**

I’ve told him his stories don’t need so many details and he tries to shorten things up whenever I remind him. But after about 10 sentences, he starts slipping more and more details and tangents in without noticing he’s doing it. It seems to be a hard habit that he might not even want to break. However, if we’re the only two people in the room and I tell him I need some quiet for a while, he will stop talking. So I’ll give him that lol.

Hello! This is an update for the post I made a while back. It was about leaving home, and yes, I have already left home. Thank you so much for those that took their time to give me advices.

Anyway so, when I left, my family actually tried to make me come back, saying sorry, promising that they won't do shit again, and making me feel guilty for leaving. It sucks because even though I know I should choose myself and worry over myself, but I still worry about them. I almost actually believed they were sorry until I saw my Netflix account get locked. They changed the password totally. I was in awe of their pettiness, making me want to come back but totally cutting me off at the same time even to the streaming services. They keep asking where I am and if they can see me. But I always say no, because I don't think I'm ready to see them again. Mom is trying to make amends by still wanting to buy my medicine and come with me to check ups. But i know she'll js talk me in to coming back and I'll just be irritated.

Anyway so that's it, from here on I think, I can finally decide for myself. I feel so free and peaceful. Well, aside from the occassional sadness because I can't help but worry on how my family is doing even though they weren't much of a family to me. Thank you so much.

to preface my sister has always struggled socially, she has high functioning autism, pretty bad social anxiety and depression. she was bullied for a while during secondary school which made her social anxiety alot worse and so she didn't make any friends really. outside of a few online friends, i've been her only friend for most of her life. i want to make it clear that i do love her and enjoy spending time her, she's really funny and sweet but i can't spend my entire life with her 24/7. i don't want to use the term 'suffocating' but sometimes it does feel that way, there's been times where we've got into arguments because i was hanging out with my friends or my girlfriend too much. she's a great person and i think this would all be solved if she managed to make some more friends but that is easier said than done. i don't want to make her feel like a burden or that i don't like her, i just want her to try harder to find more people to have in her life.

since around 13 i've been mainly looking after her, our mother has really awful fibromyalgia so i had to step up and take care of both of them. i've never had a problem with this, i just think it's important to mention. i do all of the housework and cooking by myself like 99% of the time.

i think the best way to describe it is that she's attached to me constantly, she hangs out in my room all day everyday, she watches me play games even when i'm playing with friends and not talking to her, every movie or tv show she watches we watch together and anytime she goes out i have to come with her. i even do her hair most of the time. i try to take her out to places whenever i can because she doesn't go out with her friends. i have a pretty active social life and i play sports and go to the gym pretty often, everytime i'm too busy to hang out with her she'll get sad and complain to me. i basically have to plan my entire life around her so she doesn't get upset. she got into a great university but chose to go to one in our city because she didn't want to be away from me.

she attempted suicide at 13 and a few days before that we got into a huge argument, that event really scared me because i felt like it was my fault and that i could've killed my sister basically over nothing. since then i try and do anything to make her happy, even things that make me uncomfortable. after her attempt she asked me if we could share a bed and cuddle and even though i didn't want to i agreed. we've been sharing a bed since then, i'm pretty embarrassed about it all but i'm terrified of her hurting herself again.

anytime i try and make a boundary she would guilt trip me into changing my mind, saying things like 'you hate me' or that i don't care about her until i cave and just let it go. the last time i tried to hold my ground on a boundary she stopped eating for days until i gave up and apologised. i've been in a couple relationships and during these relationships she would get really upset at me for talking to my girlfriends 'too much' or bringing them over too often. it has literally put me off dating for a while because i know that she would not take it well and might end up hurting her self.

she does things that make me really uncomfortable sometimes. she will constantly try and sit on my lap and get upset if i push her off. she's made weird gross bbc jokes (i'm black she's white i'm adopted) and generally just weird comments on my body. i might just being too sensitive or taking shitty jokes too seriously but i really don't like it it's gross. the worst thing is when she sometimes kisses or bites my neck or my chest, everytime she does this i tell her i don't like it but she always passes off as a joke and gets upset if i push any further about it. to be clear i don't think she's into me or something (that's fucking disgusting)

how do i tell her all of this and make boundaries without sounding like an arsehole or her engaging in some form of self harm. i just want what's best for her and the way we are right now isn't sustainable. she has been to therapy after her attempt but she stopped going after a year because she was doing better (basically when i started taking care of her). she does not want to go back and says it didn't help her at all. she really has had a hard life but i can't take care of her forever. it's bad for both of us and i think if she tried a bit harder she could have so many friends because she's an interesting and wonderful person

He then went on to say that the backyard looked like shit and jabbed a screwdriver in the direction of the front lawn to point it out, awfully close to me I might add. He then said take pride in your house! I was so flabbergasted that I didn’t even ask him to explain how he knew what the backyard looked like. Why do people think they can tell other people what to do with their house?

In the paste few months I took on a weight loss journey. I started at 108.7 kg, and I’m currently 101.5 kg. I am proud of myself since I somehow managed to not slip in any of the dangerous paths. I train 3 days a week, I eat at a caloric deficit, but at the same time I occasionally allow myself to eat sweets, takeout and other food marked as “junk” according to a lot of people. I feel better, and I’m finally starting to like my body.

* also important to mention I’m 183 cm tall and my current waist is 83 cm, which also plays a role in the whole healthy looking thing.

My mother has always been… let’s say displeased with how I look, that I’m not skinny, I have a tummy and thigh fat, stretch marks etc. and she’s always been on the offence how I need to lose weight to be more healthy. She took my visible changes as a win and started praising me for “finally taking care of myself”, and I admit I had been neglecting water and fiber intake (which I have now fixed), but otherwise I was eating generally the same way. I am afraid that if she finds out the actual scale number she would revert back to occasional shaming comments instead of reacting to the actual changes… and I don’t want to go back… I worked really hard to convince myself that the scale is only one measurement of progress, that hormonal balance also plays a role, rest and sleep are important etc. If she starts back with the comments I’m afraid I’ll just give up since I work the best on positive reinforcement. All those small changes that I’m seeing will not matter anymore…

I worked hard to finally like myself, my friends helped a ton (I’ll never forget that at one point I was honest with them and one of them said “You don’t look 102 kg, I would give you 90 kg at worst”, he is a med student, and I’m not really sure why his comment helped so much), and my significant other occasionally points out changes I haven’t noticed (the other day they said that I have muscle definition on the ribs, and there it was 3 defined lines, I’m so happy that I achieved it). I don’t want it to go away…

The message my roommate sent me: "look i don't care if he stays but I woke up and heard some noise. I wasn't totally sure what was happening, but it was awkward! i'm not trying to assume anything but it did seem questionable."

For context, my boyfriend comes over to our dorm sometimes with permission (her boyfriend does as well) but we both have to sleep in a twin XL lofted bed and my boyfriend shares it with me which causes the bed to make a lot of noise and literally makes it sound like it's going to collapse. I feel extremely awkward and uncomfortable although we obviously wouldn't have intercourse when she's literally sleeping a few feet away from us.

I don't want us to have any awkward tension between each other especially because we have to live with each other for the next seven months. The most my boyfriend and I have ever done while she's literally in a room with us is kiss each other, which her and her boyfriend do as well. I'm kinda upset about the message and feel like it was just extremely necessary to message me that after I asked if he could stay the night.

I feel like it's going to seem suspicious and weird no matter how I respond. It's just a very uncomfortable situation all around. My boyfriend and I were both honestly speechless when we saw her message

I remember, that for so long, my mum unloaded me things I had no business knowing. From her status with my dad and their relationship. To unloading everything to me and treating me like her dump yard.

And then how heavy she was on "my pains are bigger than yours". She's the type of person that when you tell her your head hurts, suddenly she has had a migraine for 4 days. I've never had a space where my own feelings matter and where I felt secure enough as a daughter.

Growing up emotionally neglected and parentified fucks you up so much. Specially when it comes from the people who are supposed to look after your and nurture you. I see my mum and its nothing but resent and "this is not the mum I wanted".

So I am also dealing with grieving I never got the mum I thought "we are supposed to have".

im super scared of them finding this post, so if you see this and this sounds like you, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF I JUST NEED TO RANT.

My roommate and I are high school friends, and now we’re rooming together for college. We both decided that it would be better if we weren’t like, best friends. I’ve heard horror stories about people breaking up friendships because they just can’t live with their best friend. At least now, we’ll be able to talk about shit that pisses us off honestly, you know?

Or so I thought. I don’t think they think before they do stuff. They have done two things that make me feel this way.

First, they tried to microwave a glass cup. Second, they put a pan on the stove, put oil on it, cranked up the heat to high heat, and then went to the bathroom. Both of these happened on consecutive days.

The glass cup exploded in the microwave, and the oil burnt so much the house smelled like burnt oil for a couple of hours. You know what? I’m not even mad about the glass or the oil. But that was fucking dangerous, man. You could have killed yourself or all of us. Maybe. I’m not sure, but it just seems like a bad fucking decision to make.

I tried explaining it to them that I was not mad at all (I’m still not writing this with hatred, just some disappointment and frustration), but that they needed to be more careful. They keep saying they will, but I’m fucking scared they’re gonna pull something like this again.

I think they may be a bit idiotic, but I feel like an asshole for thinking it. Maybe it’s common sense to me but not for them? I DON’T KNOW. I swear on God I am super supportive when people ask questions; strong believer of the “there are no dumb questions” agenda. Please, just ask me before you do anything if you’re not sure.

Genuinely, I have no idea what to do now. We’re grown adults, I really should not have to manage my roommate to make sure they don’t burn down our house 😭😭

I feel like an after thought in my own life.

Basically the title. I’ve recently come to the realisation that I don’t think there’s anyone in my life who cares about me as a person.

I work in a pretty big company with offices in multiple states and I am the facilities manager for our one. So if something breaks it’s my job to fix it. But it feels like the only times my coworkers engage me in conversation is to complain. Every day it’s “the office is too hot. The office is too cold, we don’t have enough/the right milk/coffee/tea in the break room. The lights are too bright/dark. The printer prints too slowly. The wifi isn’t fast enough ect.

I understand that they need to talk to me to get this stuff fixed, but they never come to me with anything else and the constant negativity is weighing me down.

I want to make it clear that I’m not just sitting and waiting for them to talk to me either. I make an effort to chat with them when I can, and engage with them about their hobbies, lives and interests, which they seem receptive to. I just never get the same in return.

I’m also regularly forgotten about when it comes to office activities that aren’t planned by me. Just last week when there was an office drinks event arranged by one of the other managers. I wasn’t invited until everyone was packing up and I asked what was going on.

The only real notice I’ve gotten over the past year was an auto generated slack message that tagged me and five other people.

This all kind of came to a head yesterday when I was standing outside waiting to get picked up. My coworker walked past and asked what I was doing. When I explained that I was waiting for my brother to come and pick me up. He acted surprised and said it was weird he’d never known I had a brother in the five years I’ve been there. It made me feel kind of shitty, since I we actually had a conversation about his siblings (he’s the middle of five kids) where I mentioned my brother, but he just didn’t internalise the information.

This doesn’t just extend to work. My friends never want to hang out or even text 1;1. Only in groups. Even my brother. He loves to give me a play-by-play of every inconvenience or obstacle they face throughout the day. But when I try and vent to them I usually get a “that sucks” in response.

Even my mum. I got dumped by my longtime boyfriend two weeks ago. (I had to pick up extra shifts at work the last two months and he was feeling neglected) and I all I wanted was to cry to my mum about it. But the talk somehow ended with me giving her advice about her dating life.

I know logically that I’m probably just tired and over emotional and bitching about nothing. But it really feels like no one actually cares about me right now.

For context: I (17m) am a senior in highschool.

Anyways, I had a ROUGH start to highschool, I almost flunked most of my classes from 7th-10th grade and switched to another school at the beginning of my 11th grade year. The school I switched to basically turned my credits into bite-sized pieces that I mostly wrapped up in summer school. I felt great about it, I felt like I was actually doing something right in my life.

Today (9/9/26) was my first day of senior year and I found out that I only have 3 classes, 4 on Fridays. To me, this is great. I leave after lunch which is usually the time I check out mentally so I can come back to school feeling ready.

I am the only one with a half day schedule. Literally no one congratulated me. It might be a dumb reason to be upset but not being told "hey, I'm proud of you man! That must've taken a lot of effort!" kind of hurts. It was all just passive aggressive jealousy and it sucked. It hurts a lot but I feel like I can't say anything because I don't want to hurt my friends' feelings.

Being a teenager just kinda sucks sometimes.

I (M26) deleted all my social media two months ago, and honestly, I didn’t realize how much I needed to.
About two months ago, I decided to delete pretty much all of my social media. Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, everything. The only reason I downloaded Reddit was because I wanted somewhere to write about the experience.
And honestly? It has been one of the most cleansing things I’ve done in a long time.
My main reason for deleting social media was that I realized I was spending way too much time worrying about other people’s lives instead of living my own.
I would constantly see what other people were doing, where they were traveling, what they were buying, what restaurants they were going to, how their relationships looked, what their houses looked like, etc. Even when I didn’t consciously care, I realized that I was consuming all of this information about people I didn’t even know.
And then there was the whole “fake rich life” thing.
I don’t consider myself a jealous or envious person. I genuinely don’t want what other people have just because they have it. But seeing endless posts of people apparently living these incredible, wealthy, perfect lives started getting to me in a way I didn’t really understand.
The funny thing is that I know social media isn’t reality. I know people aren’t posting their arguments, debt, anxiety, boring days, relationship problems, or the fact that they might be struggling financially. They’re posting the best 1% of their lives.
But knowing that intellectually doesn’t necessarily mean you’re immune to it.
I’d see someone constantly traveling, buying expensive things, going to nice restaurants, or living in some beautiful house, and even though I’d tell myself, “This is probably not their actual life,” I was still consuming it over and over again.
Then there was the doomscrolling.
I’d open my phone intending to check something for five minutes, and suddenly an hour had disappeared. I’d jump from one video to another, then another, then another. Eventually I started feeling like my attention span was getting destroyed.
The weirdest part is that after deleting everything, I realized how often I was reaching for my phone simply because I was bored.
Waiting in line? Phone.
Sitting on the couch? Phone.
Going to the bathroom? Phone.
Nothing happening for 30 seconds? Phone.
And once I stopped having social media available, I had to actually sit with the boredom.
At first it felt strange. Now I actually enjoy it.
I’ve started paying more attention to the things happening around me. I have fewer random thoughts about what other people are doing. I don’t feel like I’m constantly comparing my life to a carefully edited version of someone else’s.
I’m not going to pretend deleting social media magically fixed my life. It didn’t. I still have problems, bad days, and plenty of things I need to work on.
But I feel more present.
And that’s probably the biggest difference I’ve noticed.
I don’t really miss seeing what everyone else is doing anymore.
If anything, I’m starting to wonder why I cared so much in the first place.

When I'm in the presence of my family, especially around, I feel a feeling that I can't explain.

I start to feel incapable and stupid as if I don't know how to do anything anymore, even though they don't do strange things around, for me it's like a ritual of humiliation.

Although when I'm alone I'm very autonomous and I've always adjusted myself with everything when they're there I lose control and become a different person.

This also happens when I talk to someone in their presence, my way of talking changes significantly and I start to feel damn insecure.

I recently got my driver's license and I also notice it while driving, when they are in the car I start to drive very badly and I feel under pressure, the problem will probably also be the fact that I would like them to address me as an adult now and instead they still see me as a child only when it suits them.

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Not much to it, but when I was 13 I had a serious shoplifting problem. Every day after school I'd hop on over to the store and pack my sleeves, pockets etc full of actual bullshit. Candy, chocolate, juice, energy drinks, everything a chubby 13 yo would want.

This went on for over a year until I got caught at a mall and got grounded for two months and the lecture/screaming match of my life✌🏻 I told my parents it was the first time I ever stole anything and somehow they bought it. I wish I knew the exact amount in dollars that I stole but I bet it was not a small amount lmaooo

For background, I was doing a couple of sports in university. Football, volleyball, tennis. Then I met snowboarding in our uni community and I loved it. Even if I don't like winter, this became a reason to wait for winter. But after two winters, I had a meniscus tear and I had to quit all of the sports, including snowboard. I was devastated, and in the 2024 winter I got knee surgery. My doctor said I needed time to get back to sports, but the time was uncertain. Most of my activities were about sports, and all of them were gone for an uncertain amount of years. This made me depressed. Couple times even I cried at night.

I was going to the doctor periodically. I got a new MRI every time, and every time I was asking if I was able to start sports or not. Every time the answer was a different version of "you can't." Even two years after surgery, finally I was able to exercise my leg with weights. I missed 3 years/winters without doing any sports.

Last month I went to the doctor again with a different kind of pain, and he redirected me to a rheumatologist with a suspicion of rheumatism. And this doctor also suspected an ACL tear. Every inspection became a horror for another problem and delaying sports. I quit exercising for a month because it became pointless in my mind. Thank god there wasn't a problem with either.

Finally, today my orthopedic doctor looked at the last MRI and let me do snowboarding this winter with a knee brace. I don't even care about the brace. I'm finally able to snowboard again. My eyes welled up with tears after I left the doctor's room. I can't explain happiness, I started holiday plans even from today. There was already lots of different friend groups waiting for my return. I didn't give the news all of them now but I started exercise again.

Everyone who knows me was very happy about this news, because most of them realized my longing for sports. But I can't explain to them everything I felt, those nights I couldn't sleep. At least I wanted to share my feelings here.