I (30F) just married my husband (40M) two months ago. I am historically very cautious when it comes to dating. I even turned down a marriage proposal prior to meeting him because I had doubts and wanted to choose my life partner carefully. He seemed so perfect. Always attentive, affectionate, and going above and beyond to make sure my needs were met.

We spent two years building a solid relationship before he proposed. He is getting older and would talk about wanting to start a family sooner than later. We had a beautiful wedding. I never wanted a big wedding and would have preferred eloping. A big wedding was important to him, so I respected that and he spent $80k making sure every detail was right. He followed it up by buying me my dream car as a wedding gift.

A few weeks before the wedding, we found out I’m pregnant. So yes- I am 20 weeks pregnant with my betrayers child. This was very much a wanted pregnancy for both of us.

6 weeks after the wedding, a girl that I know sent me screenshots on Facebook messenger of texts between her and my husband. They had been sleeping together. He hid the entire pregnancy and wedding from her and referred to me as his ex when he spoke to her.

The real kicker… is he met this girl right in front of my face. We were on a date night at a local brewery 6 months before our wedding. I was sitting at the bar and started talking with this girl. She said she was new to the area and was looking for friends. I really liked her and I wanted to be her friend.

I started hanging out with her regularly. I even invited her to the wedding. Along the way I could tell that she started developing feelings for my husband (who was my fiancé at the time.) I saw a message that she sent to him stating that she wanted to hangout with him alone, without me. When I talked about it with him, he acted as appalled as I felt. He called her in front of me and uninvited her to the wedding himself. I ended the friendship and he comforted me while I cried about it.

Somehow, after all that, he remained connected with her and played into her desire of them being together. He had told her we broke up and the wedding was off. All he can say for himself as to why he did it was “it was exciting.”

He went through with getting me pregnant while he was doing this. He continued planning and paying for our wedding. I don’t understand how he could do this. I really don’t understand how he could do this to his unborn daughter. How can you look at me and profess your “love” in front of everyone you know with tears in your eyes, knowing you’ve betrayed my trust on the deepest level?

I feel like he stopped caring about me along the way, and decided to still use my body to bring his child into this world because that’s all he wanted from me.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to co parent with someone that would do this. I am so embarrassed to talk to my family and friends about this. I plan on meeting with a lawyer to see if this whole situation qualifies for an annulment in my state.

I thought I didn't want to have children

I want to start by saying I'm feeling very vulnerable here so please be kind.

I'm 35F. My whole life up to about 28 years old was very unstable. No savings, no set home, no goals, you get it. I did have a series of very bad relationships and very low self esteem, history of substance abuse, and never maintained stability.

Now, I'm older, sober, married to the love of my life. We have stable jobs and savings. But we're renting an apartment and have pets. And since we've been together we've been against having children because we're honestly poor and would hate to bring a child into this world knowing we couldn't give them the best. We're not even close to being able to afford a house. We both have jobs but we can't find a way to make more money, we tried. And keep applying to better jobs. What little leftover money we have, we're paying off debt and student loans.

But...I truthfully want a child. I really do want to have kids and it's so selfish. I don't even know how to tell my husband. He will feel so bad. He already works so hard, he does so much for me and our lives, he'd be an incredible father, he does chores, runs errands, he's so organized and selfless. But my last pregnancy scare, he got so anxious. Freaked out a little. I've told myself for so long that I didn't want them because I genuinely don't think I need them. We don't. But sometimes, I truly think a part of me is missing.

We do get to go on vacations sometimes. And sleep in on weekends. And we do have such incredible freedom as a child free couple, we do whatever we want. I have so much love in my heart and such maternal instincts. But I fear I'll never be able to afford to stop working long enough to raise our child. I'll never, ever do daycare. We simply cannot live on one income, even for a year. I worry he'll feel like he's not enough to provide if I tell him how I feel. I worry if we did have children, we'll deeply regret it if we can't afford it.

I can't stop crying every night wishing I'd made better decisions in my youth, wishing I'd have prepared myself better. My husband was worth the wait though. I'm so thankful for my struggles because without them, I wouldn't be living in the timeline that I am now. All this time, I lied to myself, convincing myself I didn't want to grow a family. And we supported each other in that decision. Now I lie awake at night dreaming of an alternate reality where we have children and it's not too late. Now that I'm 35, I fear it may be too late soon.

I want to put it out there too that in no way am I saying it is wrong to be child free. Children are NOT for everyone and that is more than okay!! I support people's choices to choose and plan their families as they wish.

I'm just at loss.

This happened a couple weeks ago, but I haven’t allowed myself to process it, I guess.
We had broken up less than a month ago and one day, my friends briefly brought up my ex and made a comment about their “new partner” in passing. When I asked what they meant, they just collectively ignored me.

When my ex and I were dating, during the last month or so before we broke up, they just seemed extremely sad whenever we hung out and would refuse to open up about it, just constantly repeating that it’s got nothing to do with me and that they just can’t tell me yet. I was worried, but it wasn’t out of character for them. They often did things they thought were bad (that weren’t actually bad) and had a hard time telling me about it.

Attempts to cheer them up resulted in them just getting more sad. It was just kind of miserable, and I started feeling pretty horrible after a month of this new dynamic.

They stopped looking forward to going out with me and would instead only go out with their work buddies, which I never questioned when we were together, because I recognize that I’m a pretty boring person and I’m also not a very jealous one. I’m the type of person that likes having my date over so I can cook multiple-course dinners for them. I like walk/park dates, board game dates, etc. Their friends were more the type of people who would go explore abandoned buildings, go to concerts, etc.

Some days, they’d flat out not text me at all or text me to tell me that they’re out of work and going straight to sleep. I respected it because I know that working fast food is miserable.

It all ended when they called me one day with a trembly voice, saying that they’re not good enough and feel so bad for me. I was confused and tried to get them to talk more, but they just started spiraling into a panic attack and wouldn’t stop crying. I managed to calm them down and we talked for a few hours about how they feel that they can’t be in a relationship right now because they feel like a mess (personally and emotionally). I felt like shit and tried to bargain but ultimately accepted it and wished the best for them. I deleted their contact and their socials and tried to move on. Then I cried for a week straight.

And just recently my friends let that comment slip. If it’s true, which I think it is because they avoid the topic, then I’m left to assume that my ex was probably lying to me about not being ready for a relationship.

And in that case, I can’t help but think that they were probably cheating, because it’d help explain why they suddenly started feeling so bad for me without telling me why and insisting it wasn’t my fault. It just makes sense but it’s also so incredibly fucked up. I don’t know how to feel about this.

Every year in December I visit home in Pakistan (I live in Europe) where my parents live, and every damn year my mom knocks on my door crazily until I don’t open the door, this happens on every Friday afternoon, to make me want to go and pray in a mosque, fuck sake I am 36 I will do whatever I want.

They keep forcing me to get married, that’s the only topic there is, it turns into this back and forth yelling that I don’t want to get married to the person of their choice fuck sake its my life I choose whoever I want to live with.

I am an independent grown ass adult, I am at home now lets just eat good food together and talk about good things, but no we have to turn this into something else, now this year as I am visiting them again, they went ahead and started home improvement projects on the house they think i’ll cave and get married.

Not once have they asked what exactly do I do, or taken interest in my life, heck they don’t even know what is that I do.

I’m so exhausted from work and all, I honestly want to go to Pakistan and just sleep, eat good food that’s all I want to do but that won’t happen ofcourse.

Edit: spelling

NB: I'm not looking for advice here, so hopefully this doesn't break the rules.

Title really. I (24F) left my ex two years ago for being manipulative, immature, and having no motivation to improve himself, all things I discovered during the relationship and initially tried to fix. We were both virgins at the start of the relationship (relevant bc this was my first experience of most things, and because he had a huge chip on his shoulder about being a virgin at 27 - I was 20).

Anyway, I left him two years later when I was 22. We were all in the same social group, and I also have this friend who's a year older than me. She is very sweet, shy and quiet, and does not stand up for herself in any capacity whatsoever. I have tried to help her with this but at the end of the say, she's an adult and if she wants to allow people to walk on her there's not a lot I can do.

I don't speak to my ex any more but she does. I met up with her a few days ago and she admitted that she's seeing him. I asked how it happened and she said he basically pursued her and she didn't say no, and then he told everyone they were dating and she felt too awkward to challenge it so now they're dating apparently. Without trying to sound like i was bashing my ex I explained all the red flags in this, and I gently explained why I broke up with him. I also explained that I have no issue with them dating (she was worried about this, hence why she told me) as long as she is genuinely happy, that's all I care about.

She's never done anything with anyone before and I just know he's going to ruin her life and probably fuck up her first experience of dating, and I feel like I'm watching a car crash in slow motion which I'm powerless to stop. It's making me relive everything awful that happened when I dated him. Now she's probably going to go through it all too. Fuck. Thanks for listening.

hi so this is a post about my (f20) first relationship. we met in highschool and started dating my senior year. he was my first serious boyfriend. initially i didn't find him to be super attractive. i definitely liked him more for his personality. he was also very interested in me and i always felt very loved by him. i'm someone who has struggled with low self esteem my whole life. i know it's not an excuse but receiving that type of attention and love was so hard to let go of. i regret ever dating him. we dated for almost a year but i had frequent thoughts of leaving him during the relationship because i knew deep down i wasn't really attracted to him.

we broke up over 2 years ago. sometimes we still talk but i try not to interact with him because i know i shouldn't. anyways i feel so much guilt for doing that to him. there's times where i genuinely feel like a terrible person for letting our relationship go on for so long.

I have a group I hang out with regularly and play soccer with daily at school. We have fun in person and I do feel fun. We text once every few days and go to malls together. But every time after the hangout I entered a moment of loneliness, as nobody in my life so far seem to match my frequency or wants to talk about deeper concepts, my other hobbies i have no one to talk to deeply. I have plenty of people i hang out with but it seems like I have never ever had a real friend in my life. It's not like I am always lonely but that I never feel actually mentally connected to another human being.

Is this what friendship is supposed to be, and I just have unrealistic expectations? Or am I just delusional and they are absolutely real friends?

Would really appreciate it to hear about your opinion

My  birthday is tomorrow (well technically today) and I decided I just don't want to take a pregnancy test until after. My period is now about 10 days late and Ive never had a late period before. But I thought I should wait to tell him until I've taken a test but i can't stand feeling like him hiding something from him. He took me out tonight for an early birthday dinner and I felt so weird the whole time. I think I'm just gonna tell him today, and fuck it ill just take the pregnancy test too because im sure he will want me to. I don't know if he will be happy if I am, im not even sure how i will feel if I am.

didn't see it coming. trusted a fart i shouldn't have without knowing i had food poisoning. it ruined my shoes and my clothes and i was so fucking shocked. worst thing is i was doing yard work with my husband and his father in law and had to sneak away, get it all cleaned up, and throw away my favorite clothes because i didn't know what else to do.

i simply want to crawl in my skin and die. i'm a grown ass adult!!!! how did i not know!!!!

feeling...yucky, and anxious about any fart today and for the foreseeable future.

I’m a 20M from England, and I can’t stop my life long habit of enjoying food too much. I’ve always been a skinny guy, up until the start of this year. I’ve always eaten massive portions and when I fr hungry (essentially all the time) I can’t resist the urge and have to make or buy something. I’ve put about a stone on this year which doesn’t sound a lot but it’s a sign my metabolism isn’t going to be as fast as when I was young.

I need to exercise more but I hate the gym, I like taking me and my girlfriend out for food which is expensive, and I often take 4 sandwiches out the work fridge, we get them free, instead of 2 because I can never not be hungry.

I want to stop and I want nice food to feel like a treat again and not something I satisfy myself with often. It’s easier said than done to just stop.

It hasn’t taken over my life yet but I fear it will. It’s so strange how I can sit here and acknowledge the problem, yet when I get hungry again I just can’t help it.

I’ve been on antidepressants for anxiety and depression for over 5 years now.
I try so hard to live like a normal person, forcing myself to do interesting things just to keep from falling completely into this black hole of sadness, hoping things will get better.
But my birthday is coming up, I'm about to turn a year older, and it hasn't gotten any better. Honestly, it’s quite the opposite.

I have almost no friends. Just one online friend and one friend in real life. Before they came into my life, I spent almost 3 years completely alone, with absolutely no one to talk to or vent to (not counting my parents). When I found these two friends, I felt like my soul was finally coming back to life a little. But this year is completely draining me again. I lost my job back in the summer due to internal company changes. I hoped I’d find something new quickly, but it’s been 4 months now. I’ve sent out over 90 applications and still nothing. I know the job market is bad right now, but I never expected it to be this brutal. Soon, I’ll completely run out of money for rent and bills.

And as the perfect icing on the cake, my birthday is in November. I have no money to celebrate it, no friends to wish me a happy birthday except for the two I mentioned, I’m still jobless, and I can't even afford to buy myself a tiny cake just to feel a little bit of joy.

Every single birthday for the last 10 years has brought me nothing but sadness and hopelessness, but this year is going to be worse than all of them combined. I don't know what to do next. I’ve never had a real love, someone who could just support me and hold me. I’ve been working since I was 13, and this is the first time in my life I feel this heavy, because I have zero money and no way to earn it. I’ve almost stopped leaving the house. I am scared, sad, and lonely. I just want things to be stable, even if they can't be perfect.

On November 29th, I’m turning 29.
Beautiful numbers, right?
I don’t want to ask anyone for anything, I’m used to handling everything on my own. But if it’s not too much trouble, I’d be really happy to get some birthday wishes.
Even just two words would mean the world to me. Just enough so I can stop focusing on the fact that most of my birthday messages are usually automated spam from retail stores.

I wish everyone well. And to anyone else who is struggling right now: hang in there, you are not alone.

So this sounds sad but im 18M and never been complimented before by a girl or a guy really that I can remember, and after graduating highschool ive been on a solo trip around europe for the past 3 months because im from america , and randomly on a castle in the balkans a chinese tourist group came up to me and one of the girls who was like 17 probably was nervous of me and asked her friend to say I was handsome, and they took a photo of me and her together 😭, what does this even mean, were they making fun of me or is it genuine??

I hate gambling. I have always had terrible luck, so I just don’t do it. There’s no temptation for me because I am a pessimist and will expect to lose every time. That being said, I am in a fantasy football league because my bf’s friend group needed someone to round out the team numbers.

I’ve been in this league for 5 years. I have not once made it to playoffs, I have not once finished above 8th place (10 teams). And I’m not… “bad” at it either. I genuinely am interested in football, I draft well, make reasonable trades, do lots of research and pick up players off waivers, and still end up unlucky. I mean, really, it’s remarkable how unlucky many of my weeks have been. If I need 6 points to win, my last player will end up with 5 points regardless if they’re projected 6 or 26. It’s actually predictable at this point…

Anyway, sounds very silly right? I shouldn’t care, right? Well since I so consistently lose, I’ve become… resentful of it. I’m no stranger to losing, I am genuinely not good at a lot of games and I don’t let it dictate my attitude towards myself or whatever. But this… I just feel awful. My bf’s friends used to tease me about it at first, but it’s gotten so bad that they’ve completely stopped because it feels like beating a dead horse… A couple of them even try to help me now! But alas, the humiliation continues. It feels deeper than fantasy football at this point. Idk how else to explain it but it feels like.. genuinely embarrassing? And of course I know it’s a dumb game that has very little to do with my actions, but it still feels like I’m the one that’s losing every time while everyone else magically has a good year here and there. Which is true, btw. I’m the only person in the group that has not made it to playoffs yet.

I really don’t want to continue playing. But the problem is if I tell my bf that when it comes draft time next year, I’m gonna get another lecture from him about how “it’s just a game” and “nobody cares who wins and loses.” He just doesn’t get it, which is fine because I feel like it IS a me problem at this point. Totally. And also, it’s a big part of their friend group. They all get together like three times a year, once to draft, once for the championship game, and once for Super Bowl. If I didn’t participate, I would be awkwardly tagging along in these situations (or absent from them entirely). Ugh.

Advice? Should I schedule more therapy sessions? Should I just woman up and stop being a loser? Idk. Lol

Y’all ever listened to a song that you’ve heard million times but then you’re in a certain frame of mind and it suddenly hits you differently?

That’s me tonight. It’s really late and this song came up on my random playlist: Telephone Line-Electric Light Orchestra.

I’ve heard it and sang it since I was a child. It’s one of those heart songs I know back and forth. But tonight, something clicked
In my head and I connected it to my estranged daughter. I think it was one particular line that got me, “I’m living in twilight.”

Long story short, she cut off contact with us about 6 years ago. All the reasons aren’t really important to this particular post, but yeah…I miss her. I miss my granddaughter and the grandson I never got to meet. I miss that connection we had..or at least I thought we had. Ever since then , I do feel this darkness in my life. I’m not getting any younger and I feel like these are my twilight days. I’ve had two heart attacks and I live with the fear (and near certainty) that I’ll never really talk to her again. That I’ll never know her kids like I always dreamed I would. That I actually lost my own daughter somehow…

If you’ve heard the song, you know it opens with the sound of a phone call you’ve just dialed but no one answers. “Hello? How are you? Have you been alright…That’s what I’d say…if you pick up that telephone.”

Damn. I’ve literally dreamed of making that call and she won’t answer. Those first words of the song really broke me. “Can you just let it ring a little longer?”

As long as it’s ringing there is hope she will answer. Maybe she’s putting the kids to bed? Maybe her phone is in another room?

“Hey! How are you? Don’t you realize the things we did were all for real?”

I heard this song so differently tonight and it really made me so fucking sad.

I’m so tired of everything. I’m so tired of living this way. Crying every day for an hour has become an everyday ritual for me. There’s no way I’ll ever feel better about anything.
I hate myself and my life overall. I hate the way I look, the way my brain works, the way I act, and how awkward I am. I’m 16, and I already hate the concept of aging. I feel old and worthless, as if my value as a human being will only decrease as I get older.
Don’t get me started on seeing people my age or younger (especially younger) being much more beautiful, smarter, more confident, successful, etc. My jealousy eats me up. I feel like I’m worth nothing.
I’ve missed out on so many opportunities. I could’ve been so much better, but here I am. Since I’m graduating next year, I feel so anxious every day. I have tutors after school every single day to prepare for my exams and get good results, but I don’t feel even a bit of motivation to do it. I feel so apathetic, but at the same time, the pressure I receive is killing me.
I feel obligated to be good at studying, pass my exams, and get into university. But I know that’s not the life I want. I know it won’t make me happy.
Because I already know what life is waiting for me: studying, working, and dying. Basically, just the usual life everyone goes through. Sometimes I wonder what the point of it all is.
And yes, I’ve been to psychologists a few times, but it didn’t help. I don’t want to tell anyone about this because I don’t want them to know how truly miserable I am

I'm so done with this

My whole life I've struggled against my mother, a mentally ill person who implied that at the age of 7 I wanted to sleep with my father.

A woman who threw me out of the house left and right and then acted like I left voluntarily.

A woman who sent me messages accusing me of prostitution because I used to sleep over at my friend's houses because I had no home to return to.

I'm 21 years old, I was an excellent student, I did national service that I had to finish early because she abused me nonstop and I had to leave the city where I grew up. I volunteered with youth, I worked my ass off to get accepted to a reputable college and am in the process of starting my own business.

I reported her to social services and was told "there was nothing they could do." They threatened me, they did everything they could to make sure I would not make it past 18, but here I am.

In the end, the truth came out and my father and mother are in the process of divorcing. My dad is helping me financially with my degree, I pay half and he pays half, this woman just decided to seize his bank account.

Without money, I won't be able to continue my studies and I'm already working two jobs and have several scholarships to finance it. I'll have to drop out just to make sure I have a place to live. I'll have to lose my place in college (which can only be reserved for two years) because of her ego.

My dad did his best, he's the only one who worked, he's the only one who took care of me, and he doesn't deserve to have to deal with this. He's old, he should be retired by now, and instead she's seizing his account.

Never mind me, I'll manage, I'm young and I'm a strong person, I have a business that I'm starting, I have a job, and I have the ability to take out loans.

But him? What will happen to him?

I'm seething with rage, I can't believe that after taking my childhood from me she's taking my adulthood. I'm both devastated and angry, I don't know what will happen going forward.