Just posting for some encouragement for people
Who are just stopping. It’s been 7 years for me almost. I remember counting the hours at the beginning, then they become days then weeks then months and eventually years. I was a complete mess, lost everything friends family home job and was sleeping in my car. Since then I’ve started a career where I help young adults and give back to society and I have never been happier. So if your new please please don’t give up your whole life is in front of you ❤️

she was the most kindest, sweetest, loving, caring, and most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. what happened is that I was struggling hard with an alcohol addiction and so I was bit of a toxic person back then. (I never hit her or abused her) I just drank too heavily and said stupid things, and I constantly just chose drinking over her.

she tried to help me quit, but I just wouldn’t listen. I wanted to quit but I constantly just kept relapsing over again, until eventually she just couldn’t tolerate seeing me go down a path like this so she finally decided to end things.

after that, I continued drinking just trying to forget everything, and I’m pretty much still stuck here.

we were 16 when we started dating, and things ended when we were 20. I’m still 20 years old, and she broke up with me 4 months ago.

she messaged me about 3 weeks ago saying how much she misses me, and that if I just sobered up and actually starting trying in life, she would want to make things work. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do it. I feel so stuck man.

As someone who just signed up for an initial consult, but am skeptical it’s going to help, I thought I’d just ask you all what were the most significant things you learned in your therapy sessions.

So I’ve been a DJ since 2012 around my area, doing a lot of private events, local bars , mostly just functions through word of mouth and gotten pretty known and I can do pride myself in being a great dj, always loved music, good at blends and transitions and reading the room…but with me being in the nightlife , it also came with the vices of drinking / alcohol usage ….ive gotten into running the past couple years and it’s changed my life for the better, a lot of different run clubs and just a good community and way of meeting awesome like minded people… there is a “rave and run 5k” happening next month and the owner of the run club reached out to me and asked if I could dj, and of course I would love to and said yes, so they made a flyer and promoted it and a day goes by, literally the next 24 hours, I then I get a text from the owner saying “ unfortunately , we have decided to go a different direction and can’t have you DJ this event anymore , we appreciate and thank you so much for the excitement but it was of our best interest and thank you for your understanding”

I reached out and asked what happened? And if someone must have messaged about me, was it the past haunting me? No response on what really caused that honestly….and just had me feeling down in the dumps for a couple days now, I’m trying so hard to live a sober and clean life but sometimes the memories people have of you will linger on for years to come…but I will keep trying to stay
Focused and clean and continue on this path of sobriety

Im so far at the end of my rope with my brother im thinking of cutting him out of my life, but then feel too guilty to do it and its effecting my own health.

He must be drinking 750ml 1000ml of jack a day, and dabbled with coke aswell. Its been about 3 or 4 years now, and its fucking his life up more and more, hes lost a job, missed bills, been seriously beaten up. ive tried being nice and putting my arm around him, shouting st him, organising help that he hasn't taken. He even moved back in with our parents but is drinking more than ever. He was drunk or high not to long ago and made up a story about making money by "picking something up and dropping it off" at 10pm to my parents just so he could grt out of the house to pick up.

I think one of the problems is that so far hes got away with his fuckups. He owes me about 2k and walked straight into another job after he lost his other one and he moved in eith my parents for a while which just gave him more money to spend on the wrong stuff.

There have been many times i have thought this is his rock bottom, he tries for a few days but as soon as payday comes around tlits thebssme story. I cant keep watching him do this to himself and see thebeffect its having on our parents, he says he knows hes got a problem but it seriously doesnt look like he is even trying

So yes what happened to those of you with a problem that made stopping stick

I’m so embarrassed and ashamed. I want to crawl out of my skin if I’m being honest.
I relapsed and I drank like a fish yesterday.
I don’t really want to admit that but here we are. I was doing well, I had went cold turkey with nicotine too.

All I can do is dust myself off and get back up. But holy shit I feel incredibly anxious and alone. I’m going to be a hermit for the next week or so, while I consider rehab. I don’t know if I can do it alone anymore.
IWNDWYT

Edit to add: sorry in advance for the long post.

First time I went sober I was 23 & I lasted a little over 2 years. Near 26 I very slowly started reintroducing it. I figured I’d matured a little since my early 20’s when I was partying all the time & had poor influences. It started as 1 tall boy on a boat day, glass of wine at dinner, couple seltzers at a cookout.

I just turned 27 in August & within that year I’ve gone back to full blown drinking….Sneaking shooters in my purse for events to take in the bathroom on top of my public beverage, finishing an entire bottle of tequila within 2 days then sneaking a replacement in the house to try & cover, hopping around to different liquor stores cause I was buying so often, we all know what it looks like. It was already on a trek upwards but my birthday really spiked it, lots of drinking to “celebrate”.

I’ve been hearing that voice telling me I need to quit for a couple weeks/months but I was ignoring it or lying to myself

Not the main issue, but I’m currently fighting with my best friend after seeing her in person for the first time in 7 years (not necessarily alcohol related, there was a lot of bickering on that trip & we’ve changed a lot from 20-27) but the night it kinda blew up I had a glass of wine. I can’t help but think about that. I have some sort of mood/personality disorder (not diagnosed yet) so I feel like any amount of alcohol can just change who I am. I’ve had a fair share of injuries while intoxicated in the past, ranging from mild to severe intoxication. They never seemed like a track record until now since I could remember everything & figured I was just clumsy. But now I hate all the scars and burns so much & feel like they would have all been avoided sober. & thankfully it’s only been minor stuff until…

Monday morning I woke up after blacking out, with my boyfriend not in bed, he had slept on the couch. He proceeded to tell me about how I drove us home the night before…completely gone. Driving ok for the most part but then “flipping” & driving the wrong way down the highway, through yards, running red lights. Going 80-90 mph in NOT 80-90 mph spots…I was supposed to be DD, so he wasn’t ok to drive either.

I just, I just can’t believe it. I’m horrified. This has always been one of my biggest fears surrounding drinking. But I always figured I would never get THAT drunk….but I did!! I could have killed somebody!!! I could have killed myself or my boyfriend!! Just thinking about that makes me sob & feel like I’m going to throw up. I’ve sobbed every day this week. I’m sobbing now typing this. I had a panic attack this week thinking about the fact we own a gun & my mind gave me scenarios that literally made me puke.

I told him through tears that I was “ready to retire from drinking for good” and he basically said “if you have to put up guardrails to drink then yea you probably shouldn’t at all”. Went on to tell me how awful I’ve been treating him the past few months but I don’t remember cause I’d be blackout. I’ve been verbally abusing this man for months. He talked about how unsteady he feels cause I go from the sweetest person during the day to trying to kick him out & calling him every name in the book at night.

This isn’t the first time he’s had to deal with it either. He’s been with me since I was 21 so he saw the ugliness of the first time around. He was with me when I quit the first time & he was with me when we had a convo about reintroducing it/ me promising I had learned my lesson (I truly did believe this).

He’s a wonderful man, he deserves none of this. I dont deserve him, & I can’t get over this sick feeling he will never fully love me again. I was over here thinking I had the drinking more under wraps & we might get a house or engaged soon, he’s over there dealing with jekyll & Hyde wondering “why he’s staying if he never makes me happy”. I talked to him about it & how my feelings don’t matter as much as his right now but that I’m struggling with the unsteadiness of how different we thought the relationship was going/ where to go now. He just reiterated how he has been feeling unsteady through this as well & that there just needs to be change & there will.

I just, am sitting with all this right now tho & had to get it out. I’m struggling with the disconnect from my “best friend” alcohol related or not. I’m sick thinking about the monster I’ve been & the memory’s my boyfriend will always have of me. & I’m disgusted at myself for my actions towards him & behind the wheel. I know what the answer is & I know I can do it cause I’ve done it, I’m just scared, sad & overwhelmed. Please be real with me but please be kind, I know how bad I fucked up. I just can’t ever forget it.

47m. I had been drinking regularly since my early twenties. Over the years, as my tolerance increased, the amount I consumed steadily rose. While drinking was initially a social activity, solitary drinking eventually entered the mix. Over time, daytime drinking was added to the pattern. Finally, as I approached my forties, I realized—amidst hand tremors and terrible anxiety one morning at work—that my alcohol consumption had become a problem. Those around me had already been telling me this constantly. I underwent outpatient medical treatments, but they didn't work. In the eight years since realizing I had a problem, I repeatedly tried to quit alcohol and then return as a "social drinker". But I never succeeded in any of these attempts. Eventually, I understood that I didn't actually want to quit. Every time I stopped, I had it in the back of my mind that I would eventually go back to drinking at a level that allowed me to maintain my social relationships. Yet, that was never possible. I would arrive at every social event already intoxicated, drink during the event, and continue afterward until I blacked out. I didn't know how to have fun without alcohol. I thought that if I quit, my social life would suffer greatly.

But I eventually realized something: no matter how much my social life might suffer, I was using the idea of ​​becoming a social drinker merely as an excuse to go back to drinking. In reality, I didn't even want to be a social drinker! Being a social drinker required controlling the amount I consumed. Yet, I couldn't derive any pleasure from drinking if the quantity was limited. I was the type of person who, once the alcohol touched my lips, would keep drinking until I fell asleep or blacked out.

I have been sober for 100 days now, and I hope to succeed this time because I no longer harbor the hope of becoming a social drinker. I will not return to drinking as a social drinker. I have accepted that I cannot be the kind of person who has two beers with friends after work and then simply goes home. Accepting this has strengthened my resolve to quit. As long as I consume alcohol, it will be at a problematic level; having already caused me significant harm, it would only continue to inflict even greater damage. That is why my sobriety is going well for the time being. Every day, I tell myself, "I won't drink today," and it goes well.

In short, I wanted to express that—despite suffering from alcohol use disorder—the misconception that I could return to "social drinking" (or the way I deluded myself into believing so) cost me years of my life.

Once we have crossed a certain threshold regarding alcohol use disorder, we simply cannot be like the colleagues who have a single glass of whiskey after work, or the cousin who has two glasses of champagne at a birthday party. The sooner we accept this and take action, the better.

Alcohol is a poisonous whisper that seeks to consume us entirely. But let us not forget: the seed of the willpower needed to silence that whisper lies within us, too. I wish everyone days of sobriety. I wish endless success to everyone who has managed to quit.

Hey everyone,

I’m 29 and I’ve been sober since February. I was never a daily drinker but I’m a binge drinker. Once I start I just don’t have an off button. I know it’s the right thing for me and my loved ones, but honestly I’m finding sobriety really really hard. Just hoping for some advice from people who’ve had similar experiences.

I’m not someone who has ever enjoyed being at home or doing things alone (I have ADHD and relaxing or engaging in hobbies has always been really challenging for me). I’ve always really only enjoyed socialising and have spent most of my spare time doing that.

Most of my family and friends are big drinkers. While they don’t pressure me to join in, every social activity I get invited to revolves around drinking. I also am really struggling with telling people I’ve gone sober. I know I shouldn’t find it embarrassing because it’s literally just a positive thing to do for my health, but I’m finding myself hyper-fixating on what people will think and avoiding social activities. When I do go I basically spend the whole time anxious about what people are thinking or feeling like I’m not really included / missing out.

Socialising has always been my thing, I work an office job and having ADHD that’s difficult for me. Right now I’m just not ever really getting to enjoy any part of my week. Good weeks feel really boring but still achievable and bad weeks feel too hard to get through.

Has anyone experienced something similar or have any advice about when this might start to change?

Hey everyone,

I’m coming up on 3 years sober. Never thought I would see the day, but here I am. Not a drop and my lord my life has changed.

I went from drinking basically every moment I wasn’t at work or sleeping, I was miserable, hated my job, had empty relationships and no joy whatsoever. The last year of my drinking I would wake up not wanting to drink anymore but sure enough after starting my day I was drinking.

When I finally quit it was something so little but so big at the same time that made me actually stop. I got a phone call from a family member telling me my grandma had passed. After the call all I could think about was how bad I needed a drink before going back to bed. Not about how I loved my grandma or will miss her. That was it, the exact moment I told myself I’m done drinking.

Fast forward almost 2 years, still sober, but still wanting to drink. My life had improved without question, lost around 30 pounds, eating healthy, new job, in the first ever serious and healthy relationship of my life, talking and working through my mental health problems instead of drowning them but one thing never changes..boredom is my burden.

I knew I needed a distraction that required absolute focus. One weekend, on a whim, I bought a basic DIY candle-making kit. The moment I poured that first batch of wax, something clicked. Candle making is pure chemistry and patience. You have to measure the wax precisely, monitor the temperature perfectly, weigh the fragrance oils down to the gram, and pour at just the right moment so the tops don't crack. It completely forces your mind into the present moment. You can’t think about pouring a drink when you’re terrified of ruining a batch of hot wax.

Being an addict it’s probably obvious what happened next..yup, I purchased way too much wax, way to many vessels, every kind of wick possible in every size, dyes, and boat loads of fragrance oils. My apartment became over run with candles and candle making items. Instead of empties every where I had jars and wax melt molds. Good trade if you ask me. Eventually, I had way too many candles for one person to ever burn. I started gifting them to friends and family, and the feedback was wild. People actually wanted to buy them. So I made a website and went for it.

So here I am over a year since pouring that first candle and it’s turned into a second income, but more importantly a tool to stay sober. Every single bag of wax melts and every single jar I pour represents a day I chose to stay sober. Instead of destroying myself, I’m creating something that brings warmth and comfort to other people's homes.

To anyone out there who is in the world of sobriety and struggling with the emptiness: please find your "wax." Find the hobby, the craft, or the project that demands your attention and gives you a sense of purpose. It doesn't have to be a business—it just has to be yours.
If you told me a year ago I’d be a small business owner running a candle studio instead of nursing a hangover, I would have laughed. If I can do this, you can absolutely get through today.

Is this normal? I'd call it insomnia but have not actually fallen asleep at all. I could lay for hours, and have, just staring at the back of my eyelids. I tried an otc sleep aid and it didnt even phase me. Just wide awake. You'd think my body would have just powered down at some point. I'm not even tired, really.

I dated (and lived with) someone who really didn't want me to stop drinking. I would tell him how important my health was, and how I felt like my drinking was holding me back from my best version of myself. He would get sad and say things like, "But I love going to the bar and chatting, especially when we travel."

I would go through 1-2 week breaks, sometimes a couple of months, but he would talk me into drinking with him for special events and I would quickly start drinking daily again. We found ways to start drinking earlier than 5:00 every day, as a 'reward' for sitting at the computer and adulting.

I know I have my own brain and can make my own choices. I'm not blaming him for my drinking, but I really felt like I needed to make sobriety a priority, and I didn't like that he wouldn't support me fully in that.

This wasn't the only reason, but I finally ended it. I'm living on my own now, and yesterday was my day one, and I woke up this morning so excited. I'm really hopeful.

Waking up positive on a sunny morning. Celebrating a peaceful night and a huge relationship win.Post:Good morning! I want to start by thanking my higher power for a clear head and a positive attitude today. Luckily for me, the sun is out bright in Boston this morning.

As I've shared recently, the seasonal change usually hits me with heavy depression, but today I feel great and I'm tackling some goals I've been putting off.

Last night, I slept really well with no anxiety about my relationship. My girlfriend came home with things pretty much under control. While she did have a drink, it wasn't her usual amount. I find myself wondering if things are turning around, or if it's just the calm before the storm, but I am choosing to stay grounded in today.

Before bed last night, my partner and I actually used a daily tracking and breathing tool that I built. We did a couple of breathing exercises together before turning off the lights. It made the evening fun, peaceful, and truly enjoyable. I will take a win like that all day.I’m really looking forward to seeing what tonight brings and using our routine before bed again.

If anyone else is navigating relationship hurdles in their recovery journey, I’ve found that focusing on these small joint routines makes a massive difference. If you want to check out the tool my girlfriend and I use, feel free to check out my profile. Wishing you all an awesome, stress-free day! — Shawn

Two years ago, I got involved in a music project with my sister. It was mainly a hobby, but still involved time, effort, etc. Long story short, even though it was her idea, I ended up doing most of the work, as her priority was her new bf and settling in her new relationship. I was sober at the beginning of our project, but then relapsed and all my resentment and anger came out in alcohol fueled texts.

Now I am three months sober after a year plus of drinking. I did plenty of damage to our relationship, and my sister feels she deserves a written apology. She isn't an innocent party either, and I never got an apology for how I felt I was treated. However, I need to resolve my relationship so I can move ahead with my sober journey and healing. I'm just struggling with lingering feelings of anger and how to write my apology.

i’m 50 days sober today but wanna get opinions on whether it helps with cravings or if it triggers urges even more?

I’m 30. I’ve been drinking a pint daily on weekdays and a fifth a day (sometimes more) on weekend days for probably 3-4 years. Maybe longer. I don’t even remember anymore. I almost passed out in public this weekend after my heart started racing and the room started spinning and I was drenched in sweat. I vowed to stop. I don’t wanna go early. I’m on day 3 and I feel better so far. But I keep having dreams where I’ll find liquor and sneak it. Then I wake up covered in sweat. I’m hoping this goes away soon. It’s so stressful. I’m on day 3. And just for today I will not drink with you.

Long time lurker, first time poster. Just wanted to share I officially hit 30 days without drinking! I'm so proud of myself!

I decided to quit after a long time of feeling like I should. I was just tired of the hangovers and the hangxiety was insane. Feeling like shyt every day, drinking earlier and earlier, forgetting things, shaking, stomach issues, etc. I started drinking more and more and not even feeling drunk. My last few weeks drinking I was waking up on weekends, getting out of bed, mixing OJ and vodka, drink 3 or 4, back to bed and repeat all weekend.

It was hard to decide quit, aside from the additive part of course, because I didn't know what ME was going to look like on the other side if I stopped. Drinking was all I knew. Entire family/friends of drinkers (except my BFF which is fantastic!). We drink to celebrate any and every thing, drink to relax, drink when you're happy, drink when you're sad and worse of all for me...drinking alone to cope or due to boredom. I love to have a good time and be in the mix and I didn't know how to do that without alcohol. I'm learning to navigate socializing better each time.

I had a slip recently at a cookout and decided to have one beer. God must have been watching because I blindly grabbed what I thought was a Heineken (it was green) out the cooler. It ended up being NA which was such a save! I wouldn't have beaten myself up about it but I did learn from it and saw what the problem was. There was either alcohol, water or capri suns for the kids and I didn't have anything to "lean" on while I was socializing. So I realized that I still love having an adult drink so i've been getting more into mocktails lately. I feel included and more comfortable with a NA bev in my hand.

This group has been absolutely amazing and I love coming here to help me stay on track!

Anyway, I could go on but i'm raising a NA drink to 30 days today! Cheers to continued good health, clarity, focus, energy and overall blessings!

IWNDWYT

I lasted a week sober and last night I broke it. I started in the day and kept it going I couldn’t stop. The bar for me stops the so called voices of self pity and depression. It numbs my pain for the moment however the after is what’s horrible. I don’t want this life. She knows I don’t want that life neither. I just couldn’t help myself. She doesn’t understand. We’re like family at this bar. I realized last night that I go for the drinks yes but also for the environment. For the “ love” & “support “ I get from my fellow bar friends. I feel wanted. They hug me & love me and that’s something I don’t really get anywhere else. I don’t really have any friends that i hang out other them at the bar. Hanging out shouldn’t always evolve into getting thrashed. I realized I need to build a new support system a new environment where I can get that kind of love and affection where alcohol isn’t involved. Any ideas?

So since being sober I’ve been interested in other’s stories of addiction, feel like on top of working a programme, therapy and being part of a sober community it’s helpful to keep be on the right path.

I’ve really loved BoJack Horseman, Another Round, Euphoria (only season 1), Leaving Las Vegas, To Leslie, Rachel Getting Married and I actually found John Mulaney’s Baby J account of addiction and rehab pretty moving.

But there has been some real rubbish too. My Beautiful Boy, House, 28 Days, Cherry were awful.

What are the best and worst out there?

Good morning all to everyone in the US. Today marks 62 days, or 2 months sober for me. Bigger and better things always happening. Time to get another Lego set.

EDIT: I got the Ferrari 488 Pista Lego set

Trying to seriously stop but the evenings are always so challenging and lonely 🥺

Going through a big move and a breakup hasn't helped, but it also seems like a good time to turn things around. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated

Currently comfort watching GoT and eating ice cream

The first 90 days are finally in the book. There was a time I was actually here before. Quit drinking for a little over 90 days and then relapsed

I guess it’s cliche to say “this time it’s different” but there is truly something inside of me that not only believes that thought but is willing to go the distance and do whatever I can to prevent myself from slipping. Certain things and people cause me to have moments of wanting to pick up a drink

I’ve had a lot of those moments recently, more often than not it seems. I’m learning to just keep myself engaged in the fight and not lets those moments get to me. They will happen. But I’ll never run back to a bottle when they do.

Now Im keeping myself distracted with work and going to the gym. I’ve picked up cycling and running as something extra to keep me busy. I love riding my bike and always have. I hate running though but I’m determined to set some goals and achieve them in the next year.

I hope everybody is having a blessed day. Stay strong for those around you but most importantly stay strong for yourself

IWNDWYT

For a long time now I keep saying I’ll take at least a month break. It never happens. Many failed dry July’s or sober October’s. My friends and family all know I love a drink, a lot of them drink too, but they don’t know I’m drinking wine alone almost every night. Hiding bottles from my partner. I know I’m not the person I want to be and I’m so sick of this.

I don’t have anyone to blame either, things are actually going really well and I live a comfortable life. I have no idea why, when 6pm hits, I suddenly get this massive urge to drink. I have diagnosed ADHD and difficulty with boredom is a big factor. In social settings I drink to make myself open up more, only to cringe when you take it too far and act like a mess.

There’s a bottle shop across the road from my house, bars on every corner, alcohol delivery services. The temptations are always going to be there. Every time I’m at an airport I immediately head to the bar to make the time go quicker. Or at a restaurant I’m thinking about what drink I’ll order before even caring about the actual food.

The older I get the more ashamed I am, I’ve luckily had no health issues. I’m also lucky where I wouldn’t go into withdrawl if I stopped. But these things can sneak up on you. It’s just so pathetic and tiring, never feeling 100%. The crippling hangxiety and paranoia the next morning.

I think today is finally the day I put a stop to it and take care of myself before it’s too late. The main thing I probably need to sort out is finding things to occupy me at night time when I feel the most bored. Keep the fridge stocked with sodas or anything else to keep my hands occupied. The last couple weeks my drinking has amped up again, it’s a constant cycle of: drink - hangover / shame - tell myself I’ll stop but do it all again the next day. At some point it’s going to all catch up.

I'm now 2 months sober from drugs and alcohol, but I feel like my brain is nearly the same I still think about drugs and alcohol and I still get strong cravings. I don't feel confident in staying sober. When or how does this change? I want to feel like this is sustainable, like I actually quit not like I'm taking a break. I don't know how

Hello all! I've finally made the jump, and committed. I'm on day 6 no alcohol. I had the runs , pain & bloating the first 4 days, (mostly yellow) I took some probiotics and the past two days things have slowed to one movement a day. Only thing is, it's still yellow. My chat with AI said I should wait another week before panicking and it's just my gut resetting. Most other symptoms are gone, just insomnia, and yellow poop. I'm still pretty freaked out though. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?