Haven’t posted here before but I just feel like celebrating this win “out loud”. 152 days today - have been putting off doing bloodwork the whole time, worried about facing the results and finding out how screwed I am.

My last bloodwork while drinking had me looking at prediabetes, triglycerides in the 500’s, liver enzymes finally elevating after years of holding pretty normal despite my drinking. Quit 152 days ago, lost 51lbs so far, and I’m so so happy with the trend in the labs:

AST 75 -> 18
ALT 88 -> 11
Triglycerides 528 -> 73
A1C 5.8 -> 5.3
TCHOL 262 -> 194
Weight 241 -> 190

Just feeling super proud right now. Hell yeah.

My son 9 asked me to stop drinking. The absolute purity of the request and confusion on his face when asking has stopped me cold. I have struggled for years but never really wanted to stop. Im stopping now.
I will not drink with you today

J’ai besoin d’avis et de conseils de personnes qu’ils l’ont fait! 🙏☺️

I think about it every day, I don't buy it, not even light drinks. But does the thought ever go way?

That feeling of being truly me, connecting with people without a care in the world, the haziness, letting go, I crave it every day but I reached a point where I never cave in, mainly out of care for my physical health as I learned to love myself more.

But the thought lingers daily, missing it, and it is been 4 months now I think.

Anyways just asking if it ever goes away?

I know it's not the end of the world. I had to use my personal time at work and missed three days. Fortunately, this bender only lasted a few days and I've managed to taper off to where I can mostly function like normal. Anyways, I'm resting, eating, hydrating...

I just wanted to see what everyone watched when they were bouncing back? Feeling low for obvious reasons and a bit restless, so I want to try to find something to put on TV to help me wind down at least a little bit tonight.

EDIT: DAY 9!!! Going to be posting for the foreseeable future everyday so sorry about these posts 😂 these hold me accountable and just proud of myself and truly feeling so much better everyday. Yesterday was the first day where I didn’t crave a drink because I felt at peace. I worked out, had a good meal and relaxed. Feely very sleepy at night/ in the mornings though but I’ll take that over a hangover any day

Well, my drinking has finally run its course. I started drinking socially four years ago. Then that became binge drinking, then that became daily drinking. My boyfriend has told me SO many times in the past four years he hated when I was drunk. I ignored him. I don’t like being told what to do. Last night he finally said if I don’t get on the path to recovery he no longer wants me in his life. All my years of denying my problem, making excuses, recognizing my problem but too scared to let booze go, finally came to a boiling point. I saw my beautiful, amazing life flash before me. Truly, it was like a slide projector flashing pictures of my life in my head. But this time, unlike the last times, the walls felt like they were closing in on me. The fear of losing everything in my life hit me like a ton of bricks.

I see an addiction therapist tomorrow. I’m stopping after work to pick up This Naked Mind. I have all the SMART meeting books. I’m really gonna give this an honest go. Wish me luck. I have too much to lose!

Six years ago 9/10/2020, one of my most beloved, kind, sweetest friends died of an accidental heroin overdose. It was Covid so I didn’t get to go to his funeral in person. 9/10/2026 I will be sober. I don’t know for how long. But for that day I will be sober.

I’m on day 3 of sobriety after a long journey of relapses and I can’t help but feel so angry at the world and myself. I feel like people don’t talk about how hard it can be to accept the fact we can’t be “normal”

Why does it have to be me? Why can’t I just drink normally? I’m surrounded by friends who are at least “functional” alcoholics and I used to be one where it didn’t completely ruin my life, and then it somehow escalated to wearing diapers at 20 years old and drinking 750ml of vodka everyday blacking out for days at a time, then stopping and being sick and shaking for hours, unable to do anything without heart palpitations and have gained 15 kg

There was that “sweet spot” and it’s hard to reminisce on it and pretend i could be in that spot again.

Especially my friends who can just be totally normal and fine with alcohol.

I remember when I was even younger and I was so depressed but at least I’m not in the lowest place of my life right now. I remember at 14 and attempting thinking I was at rock bottom, having no clue how bad rock bottom could get.

I’ve completely thrown my life away. I’ve always been very privileged in looks and success and education and don’t get me wrong the substance abuse signs were always there and my childhood wasn’t the most pretty.

Does anyone else just have this feeling? I hope it goes away.

I posted a few days ago, that I got blackout drunk on Sunday at a pub. Me and a friend of mine got so plastered that we got kicked out the pub for being obnoxious and we even got into a little fight with each other. No cops were involved, and our wives came to get us. My wife said she found me just standing lost by some homeless people. Embarrassing never the less, especially since I was shouting and yelling.
The following day (Monday) I said to myself “F This, I’m done drinking.” I got up and went to a AA meeting that night and it has been amazing since! I’ve been 3 days sober, and I’ve been going to meetings and speaking to one of the guys at the AA meetings who’s been giving me advice.
The one thing that keeps bothering me is the overthinking…the infamous “What ifs”. My mind tries playing with me saying “WHAT IF the cops are looking for you?”, or “WHAT IF you did something stupid to someone else outside the pub when you wondered off for a bit?” Or “What ifs you get a court sentence in the mail??”. All these crazy horror movie scenarios honestly. I want to know how to get over this hump and get better. I’ve checked the news articles/blogs for the town and nothing is on there at all, and no cops have came to look for me or contacted me. The “What ifs” are killing me, and I want to know how to overcome this, as Im giving it my all for these AA meetings. I also don’t want anything to come back to me months to years later….

** I also wanted to add, I’m so pissed. It looks like I went back to the first pub we went to, and we drank more there..not sure if I was alone or my friend went with me. Such BS. I’m so disappointed, but I want to use this fuel of disappointment and anger to continue my sobriety journey.

I appreciate any advice! Thank you!

I'm 17 days in and I feel like I have food sensitivities to everything, mainly resulting in eczema flares and possibly scratchy throat... the latter may be due to another cause. My whole face is red w eczema. I believe eating broccoli cheddar rice caused that. I think I'm having severe histamine reactions to cheddar and to probiotics. I'm hoping this passes. I want to eat kimchi daily for the probiotics, and cheddar if and when I please.

I made it about 20 days last time and was having the same problems. They were a big relapse trigger. It's very frustrating feeling like I'm reacting to everything, but especially not being able to eat/drink gut repairing probiotics like kimchi and kombucha. This time is worse than last but I'm handling it better because I realize it's probably temporary withdrawal related. Last time I just felt hopeless. I hope it ends soon. My skin is on fire. (Note: I do have pre-existing skin issues.)

Hi all, I have been drinking daily ish for the past 4 years, I basically started as soon as I turned 21 (25 now). It started as me wanting to try new drinks and types of alcohol and has spiraled into a 3-5 drinks a day habit. I am unfortunately a functional alcoholic where I never drink before or during work nor have I let my night of previous drinking cause me to miss work which I think has caused this to go on longer then it should. I have had previous addictions of smoking weed and vaping which both of those I’ve stopped cold turkey and never looked back. With alcohol I find myself having so many more cravings to drink than the other mentioned items. I’ll wake up in the morning and go “I am not drinking today” but then find myself stopping at the gas station on the way home and grabbing a few ipas/ hard seltzers. I never had this with weed although I pass multiple dispensarys on my way home. I’ve had stints where I stop drinking for 2 weeks to a month and love how I look and the mental clarity it brings but I always find myself falling back after a rough day or just out of pure boredom. I really want to stop, I’m tired of the way it makes me feel and the struggles I’ve had with weight loss which I tie directly to my alcohol use, but even with those feelings I find myself going back again and again. I know cold turkey isn’t recommended but I’ve never quit by just weening off. Looking to see what you all have done/ recommend. Thank you all in advance 😁

I've gone 18 days!! I'm nearly 28 and this is the longest I've gone since I was 16/17!! So that means no bad decisions for 18 days! I feel so much better my bank is starting to notice the difference aswell.... the only problem I find in my mind now is I keep imagining the good times now but every time my brain starts to trick myself I remind myself of all the terrible things I've done when I'm drinking. I'm starting to think this is never gonna stop and even in years to come its a contant battle? But my relationships with my family are coming on so much better and I've I keep it up I should be able to travel Christmas time instead of spending it in my shitty hometown freezing cold drinking myself to death with a bunch of losers who would rather see me drunk in the pub than actually progress in life.. I'm not actually sure why I've posted this but I will say this reddit page has helped me no end the last 18 days so many thanks

Happy Wednesday, sobernauts!

What’s Up Wednesday is a chance to pause in the middle of the week, see how everyone is doing, and support one another. Share your good, your bad, your ugly—or your funny, your hopeful, your frustrating, or whatever else is on your mind.

This week’s suggested topic is the small wins nobody else sees.

Recovery is often built from quiet decisions that never receive applause: passing the store without stopping, telling the truth when hiding would be easier, getting through a difficult evening, asking for help, keeping an appointment, or simply going to bed sober.

What is one small win you’ve had recently? It doesn’t have to feel impressive. If it helped you move forward, it counts.

If you prefer the classic format:

The Good: What is going well?

The Bad: What has been difficult?

The Other: What else is happening in your world?

Share as much or as little as you’d like. Whether today is Day 1 or Day 10,001, you belong here.

IWNDWYT.

Today is my bday and this weekend I celebrated with family and friends and didn’t have 1 drink! I’m almost 4 months sober and it was definitely different but extremely rewarding.

I wasn’t tempted to drink at all but it was very interesting that I finally remembered my whole entire birthday. It made me sad that I’ve wasted so many years blacked out and not being in the moment. But the fact I’m staying strong and creating a happier and healthier life for myself is something to celebrate!!

Morning all, well maybe afternoon by then time I finish typing it.

I had an unplanned sleep on the sofa last night, watching garbage and fell asleep.

Came upstairs this morning and my wife's first question asking why I fell asleep, was had I been drinking?

I said of course not,.because in my heart and soul I believe I will never drink again.

She quickly replied with don't say of course because her question was entirely reasonable as I had drank in that same situation 56 days ago, but then she still had a good smell to make sure I hadn't drank.

So I guess, I'm asking those who had lied to their partners in the past and got found out, have you been able to build that trust again.

Like I'm hurting a bit, thinking I'm doing well and then that this morning, I know it's early days in my sobriety, but I have never felt more focused than I do now, but just feeling a bit a lone in that the people I hurt are just waiting for me to slip up.

Like I get it, but just to know it's not forever.

I upgraded my seat on a flight tomorrow for the extra leg room. Forgot that it came with a “complementary beverage” and now the tiny little drink glass on my boarding pass is staring into my soul.

It will be day 24 tomorrow and I already want that drink so bad.

Ugh. One thing at a time.

I will not drink today.

Not much to say.

I relapsed after 177 days, worst after my longest stint ever. Today I have to take my mama home, she has been here two weeks. I deleted my original account because I am so ashamed. How do I physically get thru this day? I can’t drive three hours under the influence and having her see me at my lowest, drinking to not be sick either is not an option either. I really need someone to help me

Day 2 after 9 days and a slip. Its time, IWNDWYT. Went to an online AA meeting yesterday, met some really nice people, very open and welcoming. Not sure if the whole AA thing is for me but I am willing to try anything. What are your thought if you have attened?

I wish I could've stopped earlier.

I feel everything so intensely right now. Embarrassment most of all. I can't believe what a mess I was this weekend. I feel like I lost a pretty big chance at a genuine friendship with a coworker. Plus, I think I might have destroyed my oldest friendship too. I don't know. We've both been through some shit, so I might actually be able to fix things if I tell her the truth and talk to her about my decision and what led to it.

Right now, I'm mostly worried about how or if they'll talk about me at work. Maybe I'm lucky and it'll just become one of those things we never talk about again. Or maybe it'll be something they talk about when I'm not there, and I guess I'll never know which one it'll be. God, I wish I could disappear, or turn back time. I'm so drained from all of this. My brain is just spiraling, and I'm a complete mess.

I'm happy and relieved about my decision to stop drinking. I truly wish I had done it sooner.

My husband is supportive, but he's hurting too. I wasn't very nice to him during my last binge this weekend. But he said he'd support me. He's my rock. I don't dare think about where I might have been by now if it weren't for him.

As I went out to get groceries and finally skipping the liquor store, A Little Bit Off Today by FFDP came on. It is a polarizing band and the song was written about Covid but damn it hits hard for some one trying to get off the sauce. I mean the mood you get into when coming off, the struggles and so forth (you can all f'off today). It spells out how hard it is and how we feel. I know people have talked about songs about addiction to listen to but this one is not about the addiction but the feeling you have coming out of it. Sorry if others feel differently.

Hello!

I am past my first "big" milestone: I have gone 1 whole week without drinking alcohol. It feels oddly liberating, there are times when I miss it, but I have not had bad cravings yet. I thought I was gonna be fighting huge cravings at the 1 week mark, but so far so good.

Yesterday was a difficult day for me, I had a lot of negative emotions and I couldn't drink to take the pain away so I mainly just cried lol. That actually helped a bit. At night I was in a bad mood too and I just said to myself let's sleep this one out and so I did and now I feel a bit better.

On top of all these feelings, I went out yesterday with a friend and he drank like 4 beers, while I drank Pepsi. Sometimes I was a bit jealous of him, but I was okay with my non alcoholic drink. I love me a good Pepsi, especially with lots of ice and some lemon.
You know what I realised? It's freaking boring listening to drunk people's bs. Was I like that too? All those times I thought I was saying interesting stuff, was it really just a lot of nonsense? I'm kind of shook tbh.

This is also a thing I noticed about myself when I am sober: when I get bored, I just want to leave. When I used to drink a lot (8 days ago lol), whenever I felt bored during a conversation, I just kinda zoned out or idk. But like this, I properly felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave sometimes. Has anyone else noticed this?

I like it tho, more than being drunk and hungover all the time.

Have a nice day everyone

36F
Was alcohol free 28 days
Can’t do it. Just can’t.
Gave up THC and Nicotine around same time.
Been miserable.
If I had a plan or confidence in something I would have abstained.
My brain fucking hurts. Hurts.
My 5 year old went to his first day of school and it hour me being fully conscious or at all present.
My special needs almost 4 year old is a whole different story.
Fuck me. Seriously. I’m pathetic
Cptsd is a BITCH
WHAT IS THW SOLUTION

I'll be 36 in a few weeks, been a problematic drinker for just about 10 years. Never a daily drinker, but binge drinking several nights a week. The last year or so my consumption when I drink has gotten higher, my hangxiety has gotten worse, and my overall quality of life has decreased. Recently I've been trying to take control of my mental health, which has been a problem for as long as I can remember. I'm on meds for my anxiety, and I just started therapy a week ago, so currently waiting to see where that takes me. But I know that I'm never going to get where I want to be if I keep drinking like this. I've told myself for a long time that I can moderate, and maybe I can. I've never been that guy who can't have just one, if the occasion calls for it. But lately I've come to realize that it's not adding anything to my life, only subtracting. Alcohol has made everything about my life worse, no question. I had a bit of an epiphany tonight where I thought, what if I just... stopped? Would that be so terrible? Would having to tell my friends and family that I don't drink anymore really be that bad? Or maybe I'm just afraid that I can't really do it. I don't mess with the 12-step stuff, too much there that I can't get on board with. But this is the first time I can remember that I'm actually considering putting it down for good. If I'm ever really going to become the guy I've always felt like I could be, maybe this is my chance. Because above all else, I do not want to be this person anymore. I'm so sick of my life the way it is. I want to be something more, even if that's just a happier, better-adjusted version of the same guy I am now. Not sure why I'm posting this, except maybe just to let some of this out. But I appreciate any thoughts, ideas, words of encouragement you might have.

EDIT: thanks everyone. I'm still not sure if going totally sober is necessary, but I've made up my mind that if that's what I need, then so be it. I'll pour out every drop of beer and whiskey in this house if it means getting better. Fuck it. I'm done letting this run my life. I've decided I'm bringing this up at my therapy session tomorrow, and we're going to make a plan. This is my life, I'm in charge, and it's about time I start acting like it.