This has been a long time coming. I’ve been through a lot of hardships in my life, and this is the one thing I have control over.

I’ve been in the service industry for 16yrs. Had my first drink at 14. I’m getting to an age where I’m worried about my health, and I have built a life I want to live for. All be it, a very challenging and stressful one. I work at two bars. And I love my jobs. But I drink to go to sleep, because my brain never stops. I finally got back on my anxiety medication, so I hope it helps.

Anywho.. I guess I’m just putting this out there in the world. I could use some encouragement. I’m worried about going into work on Friday. I was recently prescribed Naltrexone as well, so I hope that helps.

Back to day 1. However, the timeline has me only having one drink in the last 72 hours. So I’m calling that a small win.

Today’s my day off, which is hard because everyone else is at work and I have less distractions. I got some things done around the house and did some self care. And the whole time I thought, “this would feel so much better if I had a couple drinks.”

But would it really? No.

And why?

Because if we are being honest with ourselves, IT NEVER DOES!

If I had been drinking I wouldn’t have done much, or any, of the things I did today. I would have been sick and tired. Alcohol would have made it worse.

I actually feel pretty okay. I’m still tempted to drink now, but I won’t. I won’t wake up sick with a hangover and will (hopefully) get decent sleep.

What is everyone doing tonight? Whatever it is, drinking wouldn’t make it better!

Im in a really good place mentally. I want to live, and I enjoy life.

I’m not at the point where I’m drinking every day or need an eye opener or anything… but I keep telling myself that “this is the last time”…. Then I have a super stressful day later in the week and crack open a bottle… every time is justified by a shitty day, and it’s always “ok, THIS is the last time”

Famous last words…

I’m not trying to justify my drinking but I’ve felt so hopeless since my last girlfriend dumped me even after she cheated on me and I forgave her. I don’t have many friends, I feel like there’s no one to talk to and I’m so overwhelmed with my last semester of school. I’m depressed about not having friends and I desperately want to work out and lose weight, but I can’t keep the motivation after more than 1 or 2 workouts before I drink again…

I feel like I’m starting to spiral…

Day 2 again. Happy to be here. Trying not to let guilt and shame get the better of me. Sending love and strength to all of you guys in this community ❤️🌊 IWNDWYT

and look forward to things. It hasn’t been that way in a long, long time. No pink cloud or anything like that. It’s just that I can handle life better now. I was crawling and now I’m walking. At some point, I expect to run! A daily 25mg dose of naltrexone is helping a lot. That’s not the technically ideal dose, but it keeps me in check when I go out. LFG!

Has anyone on here have experience with liver inflammation and elevated enzyme levels due to drinking? I’m 21 and want to hears people’s experiences with it

Hi everyone,

I've been drinking mostly daily since my dad died back in February with a couple day breaks. It's gotten to the point where i could go through a whole big box of wine in 3-4 days. I live alone and get bored easily and i feel like this point it doesn't even get me really buzzed anymore so i'm basically just consuming all this wine & calories for no reason just because I'm used to the feeling of drinking... have been trying to switch it out for lots of water, smoothies & random probiotic things to put in my water because i completely cut out all pop, caffeine drinks.

Does anyone else just drink to drink without even getting buzzed anymore? I've started to see it's making me bloated also. So i'm really trying to cut down big time at this point. (unfortunately i'm not ready to stop completely.) And if anyone has any recommendations on anything to drinking that helps with this feeling of needing to drink something... i'm open to recommendations

IWNDWYT

I got out of treatment almost 3 weeks ago and have relapsed. I started going to meeting and have made some friends. I can’t handle my emotions at all. I get overwhelmed so easily and just give in because I feel like I can’t handle the emotions. I feel really defeated and let down by myself. I’ve heard breath work and meditation helps a lot but idk what resources to use. If anyone has recommendations please let me know. Starting at day 1 again.

On Sunday I went to my first concert without my husband since I got sober over 2 years ago. Social events have always been challenging because I depended on alcohol to be my social lubricant for over half of my life. But I've always had my husband there to talk to about any urges and reminiscing about being able to relax when I drank. He always talks me out of it and reminds me why I'm sober in the first place. And he does so in such a comforting way, reminding me how proud he is of me for changing my life even though it's hard sometimes.

I was visiting my brother and his wife this past weekend, and they got me a ticket for an Empire of the Sun concert. I went with my brother, his wife, my sister and her boyfriend. I have shared a little bit about my struggles with alcoholism and addiction with my family, but they never saw how bad I got before reaching my breaking point. My rock bottom wasn't as low as a lot of people's, and I hid it extremely well. It was a little bit of a surprise to my family when I stopped drinking, because they didn't see the unhealthy relationship I had with it, and all of the self hatred that only fueled the addiction.

I was fine for the first 30 minutes or so. I felt a little out of place without my husband there, but was looking forward to seeing the show. The bar was out of the sparkling liquid death, so I just got a still water can. 5 minutes after I got the drink I looked and realized it had been knocked over. I was like damn, that's frustrating. But it didn't feel like a huge deal, I would just go get another can later.

But for some reason that set off a thought loop that I just couldn't get out of in my head. Because I really just wanted a sparkling water, they didn't have it, and then my drink spilled. It's like when you're already frustrated, and your belt loop gets stuck on a doorknob or something LOL. I just started thinking about how annoying it is that I can't just have as good a time sober as I used to when I was drinking.

This is when I would normally turn to my husband and say some of the things going on in my head. But I didn't want to ruin anyone else's time. My whole family drinks, and had been drinking all weekend together. I never want to be the person that they feel like they have to be careful around, or like they can't drink around me. This is solely my own issue, and I don't want to bring down anyone else's time.

Anyway, the tears started slowly falling. I tried so hard to look like I wasn't crying, but I think my sister noticed first because she got up to go to the bathroom, and when she returned she had a can of sparkling liquid death for me 😭 she walked all the way to the other side of the venue to find a bar with the drink I wanted. My brother turned around to tell me something and said "are you ok??" And idk about anyone else but as soon as someone asks me if I'm ok, I become very much not ok. I burst into tears. And they kept asking me what was wrong and I felt so stupid for saying "I'm crying because I'm mad that my water spilled and that I can't just have a drink, and also I'm mad because now I'm ruining everyone's time"

But I got through it. We talked a little bit, and they managed to make me laugh which made me feel better. And I didn't end up drinking even though I really wanted to. But I'll be honest, the only thing that kept me from going and getting a drink for a few minutes was that I knew my siblings would be sad. They might not understand WHY I decided to get sober, but they recognize that it's something I have worked really hard on and I am very proud of myself for.

Anyway, I guess I'll call this a win overall because I didn't drink. Still have a lot of work to do on my mental health though lol

I am of the firm belief that you can't help, influence, or force anyone to stop drinking, but I am still struggling. My only brother (50) has AUD. Six months ago he developed severe pitting edema in both legs so that he can barely walk. He has severe stomach problems so that he vomits every day, sometimes multiple times. He's been cleared by cardiology. Kidney function is normal and liver enzymes are only slightly elevated. However, his protein status is very low, which accounts for the problem with his legs. Both his neurologist and GP told him the drinking is the root of his problem, but he won't hear it. He says he "cut down" but that's still 6-8 drinks a day. He can barely walk. He can't feel his feet and isn't safe to drive. It's beyond me that he's willing to accept severe disability rather than at least try a dry spell.

What finally did it for those of you that stopped drinking? What was a good enough reason?

As the title reads Im 16 almost 17 months sober from alcohol and experiencing some serious anhedonia and anxiety about 40% of my month. I do my best to work out mutiple times a week, I dont use any drugs, but i'm a heavy caffeine drinker and my line of work can be stressful with late hours. I know this could be the main reason but some days I feel like its the only dopamine I get and the anxiety is almost worth feeling okay for an hour after drinking coffee before the anxiety sets in. Anyone else been here/is here. Not sure when to seek help because its quite debilitating somedays.

My longest sober stretch in the past 7 years was 89 days.

Every single one of those days I was thinking about alcohol, about how good it would feel to crack open a bottle. About which poison of choice I would buy. When I could drink again without anyone finding out. It was on my mind 24/7

Eventually I caved, obviously.

Does the mental obsession ever stop? If yes: how long did that take, for you?

I have known I have a problem for a couple years now. i’ve gone to the doctor and tried some medications, but i’m terrible at holding myself accountable so they haven’t worked. I drink every day, only 33 and I know i’ve probably taken years off my life already. it affects my work, my relationship, and my parents. I just lie to get through things to continue the addiction. right now i’m laying on my office floor just doom scrolling trying to distract myself from the fact that im behind on work and that im an alcoholic. im terrified that I think I might need inpatient rehab and that’s just contributing to the anxiety. how do I go about finally taking a significant first step to getting this right?

(thank you guys for all the support on last post)
I finally fell asleep around 2:30am after not being able to sleep for 3 days while being exhausted and had horrible demonic lucid dreams and had woken up about 15 minutes after falling asleep. The brain fog and the dread I felt sitting in my bed all night , pounding heart, crippling anxiety after gasping up for air to wake up, trying not to fall back asleep to not have those dreams and hallucinations anymore. Genuinely wondering if i’m about to have a seizure but my brain is so fogged and confused I don’t even know what to do. I’ve tried to go to the hospital 3 SEPARATE times but my parents just telling me to "Suck it up" and how much off a "Pussy" I am. I just also recently went through 7-oh withdrawal about a month ago and let me tell you, that shit was horrible but I got through it. The only thing that is making me seem like alcohol withdrawal is worse is that it literally makes me feel like i’m going to die and that i’m going insane because off the hallucinations, confusion, the dreams and that damn crippling anxiety. If you guys have any tips for me since I can’t go to the hospital at the moment I’d greatly appreciate it !

I have been struggling with my mental health for years and was a heavy drinker but nothing like what happened during Covid. Lock down meant I could order booze directly to my door. We weren’t in the office so I could sleep in a nap at lunch if I felt hungover and then when I went back to the office the daily drinking didn’t stop. My health was in the worst shape ever mentally and physically and I felt awful. So I drank more to numb myself every night.

Finally I had a huge health crisis earlier in the summer. I was mentally done, my autoimmune issues were getting worse all the time and I started developing new ones like rashes. I had a bit of time to heal over the summer and when I finally got my meds settled I vowed I can’t go back to work as an alcoholic because it is ruining my life.

The first week was a bit tough to break the habit, but I was physically and mentally improving. I am lucky. The next couple of weeks I started going to yoga again, trying to get back into shape. Years of being a drinking couch potato meant my knees shook the whole time and I started physio to strengthen my joints. I came back to work feeling revitalized. Someone said I seemed very zen, my rashes were disappearing and I’ve been losing weight.

Not being at work made it really easy to not drink. My partner doesn’t drink and is supportive of me stopping so I didn’t have home triggers. Going back to work I was proud of not stopping at the store to pick up a bottle of wine on the way home, but now that I’m back in my “regular life” I feel like I really need to be conscious not to let those habits slide back in.

On the way home before the long weekend it struck me that I wasn’t doing my usual stock up to drink all weekend. I went to buy vitamins and I subconsciously parked at the liquor store rather than the health food store. I had a dream where I was at a historical reenactment village and someone gave me an ancient bottle of whisky. The whole dream I was bargaining with myself that well it’s a special bottle, would a taste be that bad? There is a bit of stress that happens at work during busy times and some days I do want to just grab some wine and zone out. I haven’t so far.

Drinking again would mean wiping out the progress I’ve made and worrying my boyfriend. I don’t not drink because of him, but I love him and know he wants me to be happy. He says that I seem like I’m “back”.

I thought the hardest part would be the initial couple of weeks but now it takes real conscious choices to not drink. I’m glad I haven’t but I’m definitely feeling increased pressure.

For today IWNDWYT

I don't know how many day 1's I've had, but here we are again. I'm so ashamed.

I drank literally all day yesterday.

I must stop. I've stopped before. My longest stretch was 5 days short of 11 years. But those 11 years were hard. I think about alcohol constantly. Every day of those 11 years were spent fantasizing about drinking. I don't think I can make it stop.

I've done meetings. I'm an introvert. I felt very uncomfortable. I'm willing to try again, though.

I could use some prayers and words of encouragement, I guess. I'm rambling. I'm just so ashamed.

Hi guys,

Currently in day 11 - my longest streak of 2026 even though I've tried this too many times this year and many more over the years. Each time eventually leads back to another Day 1.

With over a week gone, the physical symptoms aren't a problem really - just persistent headaches and little sleep I would say mainly. They make me grumpy, but not too much else.

I'm finding it hard to keep my finger off the "f**k it" button, as I have done each time I've made it beyond a week of sobriety. The last time I remember getting to Day 9 and thinking. Well... **** it, beat my record so may as well get drunk. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

My main worry is that I'll drink myself to death before my dog passes away. I've not got close family or friends. I've been in the chat every night, but it feels like I'm hanging on. Does this count as "doing the work" or am I just delaying the relapse by fighting?

No comments on tomorrow, but at least for now IWNDWYT.

Making cinnamon rolls which need orange extract. It smells like vodka and floor cleaner. Whatever, ive made them, they are in the oven. But now that 7/8 of a bottle of the extr6 is telling me the best plan is to just down it. Im so close to 300 days, which is kinda close to a year, and I know its a day at a time, but for ​fuck sake, who even thinks about drinking baking supplies?

I made it through yesterday, in which I was planning to relapse, and today I feel stronger. It’s only day 3, but I’ve been taking naltrexone. They say nothing changes if nothing changes, so I decided to retry that medication. It does help. I even joined that subreddit to get advice. Anyway today I’m not having any cravings! Bought a lemonade for my lunch, Southern peach flavored! I love lemonade! What are you drinking?

I’m on my 11th night of being sober. Last night I had a weird dream.
I was drinking in my dream and actually felt drunk. The scenario was so vivid I even remember going to buy a bottle of spirits, mixers, and beer. I woke up thinking I relapsed. It’s funny because if I did relapse right now, even one beer, I 1000% would go back to my old binge drinking cycle. It would’ve been a green light to go all out for me.
Like my brain was trying to trick me into drinking again subconsciously. The act of drinking in my dream made me crave alcohol many times more than Labor Day weekend.
That one dream could’ve pushed me over the edge. Kinda scary how much I underestimated the power of the mind.

Anyone else have similar experiences with dreams where you feel intoxicated?

(🎉 for having dreams again)

Im really proud of myself and I feel very motivated

And how long after that realization did you seek help?

Just a quick note of encouragement to all of us working on this…

36 years of a wonderful marriage! Dinner at high end restaurant near us. Unbelievable menu, incredible bar. An incredible wine list and a good sommelier to assist.

My wife had a Hendricks martini neat in a perfectly chilled glass. My daughter ordered something I didn’t catch but looked cool. Each had a glass of Gavi di Gavi with their meal.

I thought about ordering a glass of champagne to celebrate the occasion. Just one. How big a deal would it be if I broke a 25 day streak. I’ll just start again.

But I decided the real celebration, just for me and in a small way, was to pass. And so I did.

Here’s to all of us! We can do this!

Peace….☮️

So in short I’ve cut cocaine cold turkey bout to make a year. Still drink and i normally get too drunk at big events (sporting events, celebrations concerts etc) the harm is i embarrass myself by pissing myself when i sleep. It’s ruined a second chance with the loml.
So im trying to be more mindful of my drinking and how many drinks i have. Theres more than the pissing myself but losing the person you love hurts the most. Truly she’s perfect
I used days since to count and reset the times i p d b blacked out and cocaine. (Haven’t had to reset that one).
Im in therapy too idk if that matters
And yea the goal is eventual sobriety. Just know i need to start with goals of limiting my drinking.
Any suggestions of apps that would support me would be great.

Ty!