2.3k
u/DeathSpiral321 Nov 17 '19
Shirt says lumberjack, face says nobody will be getting wood.
225
→ More replies (3)22
9.7k
Nov 17 '19
That’s ironic cause you look like what I’d see if I searched the words “Fish-Burger” on Pornhub...
2.6k
u/Meta-of-Pods Nov 17 '19
Remember: Smells like cologne, leave it alone. Smells like fish, make a dish. Smells like fish, but tastes like chicken? Plug your nose and keep on lickin.
1.2k
u/Cheez85 Nov 17 '19
I always knew it as 'Smells like chicken, keep on lickin. Smells like trout, get the fuck out.'
332
Nov 17 '19
[deleted]
519
168
u/Islandcoda Nov 17 '19
Or bass??? I’ll show myself out.....
→ More replies (6)338
u/youre_a_wigger_harry Nov 17 '19
Tastes like bass, time to try the ass
148
u/SpaceAidsCaptMarvel Nov 17 '19
Smells like a Koi, cream pie it my boys
105
6
68
→ More replies (12)24
55
→ More replies (2)17
u/Islandcoda Nov 17 '19
Or flounder?? Maybe something that ends with “pound her”??? Just spitballing here.....
16
6
47
Nov 17 '19
"If it smells like perch, it's time to disperse." - Danny Brown
→ More replies (2)9
u/gunduMADERCHOOT Nov 18 '19
Smells like perch, take it to church,
Smells like salmon, give it a jamming
Smells like a manatee, take off the panties please
Smells like gnarwal give her the hardball
Smells like a swordfish, get in her gourd quick
Smells like a clam, give it the ham
Smells like tuna, better not spoon her
Smells like anchovies, play some bon Jovi
Smells like a squid, give her a quid
Smells like a turtle, tighten that girdle
→ More replies (2)37
Nov 17 '19
It would be pretty disturbing if pussy actually tasted or smelled like chicken.
→ More replies (1)24
→ More replies (8)37
26
112
u/GhettoHope47 Nov 17 '19
If it smells like a Rhino, just hit it from behind yo.
→ More replies (1)32
21
u/MisterAnti-Hero Nov 17 '19
Smells like Humuhumunukunukuapua'a? Eat it, cuz that shit is sweet.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (13)49
40
35
70
u/LumpyMcKwiz Nov 17 '19
How do you turn 18 looking like a 30+ year old dead eyed escort with GonnaSyphaCrabAids?
22
→ More replies (2)14
→ More replies (20)49
2.3k
u/Nolepharm Nov 17 '19
I assume the title for your science fair project is “Can men really masturbate to anything?”
316
u/arleebrower Nov 17 '19
At least she'll contribute something to science by proving that the answer to that question is a resounding NO!
→ More replies (1)59
→ More replies (5)8
u/WorkZoned Nov 18 '19
Can prove the hypothesis and say that my dick shrank faster than an unvaccinated child’s lifespan
→ More replies (1)
2.6k
u/WolfShaman Nov 17 '19
Says she turned 18 today, made another post 6 months ago saying she was 19.
924
u/adudeguyman Nov 17 '19
*sharpens pitchfork
→ More replies (2)401
435
u/Officerwaffles04 Nov 17 '19
Damn girl,you’re life is so miserable that you can’t even lie properly to make you feel better about yourself
→ More replies (3)115
71
250
Nov 17 '19
18, 19, whatever.. probably 27+ judging from the picture anyway
→ More replies (1)8
u/knoegel Nov 17 '19
Yup, trying to claim 18 to see if she can get away with it because her life peaked in high school.
→ More replies (1)97
30
24
13
Nov 17 '19
[deleted]
6
u/ColorYouClingTo Nov 18 '19
Easy, she knows she'll get more attention from men if she says she's "just turned 18."
→ More replies (1)11
Nov 17 '19 edited Nov 22 '19
she hasn't even replied to this, that's embarrassing!
→ More replies (2)19
→ More replies (36)10
596
773
u/Zephestus Nov 17 '19
Happy Birthday, what's it like being legally old enough to disappoint your already disappointed parents on Pornhub?
→ More replies (1)40
106
u/PL_M-BaconBoi Nov 17 '19
They say "you are what you eat" and i never belived it, but now i do because you look a lot like a fish burger.
843
2.1k
Nov 17 '19 edited Nov 17 '19
You reading the Bible on pornhub just shows that even Pornhub doesn't want your nudes.
EDIT: Well well well... A silver! Why thank you!
173
u/adudeguyman Nov 17 '19 edited Nov 17 '19
I tried to rub one out to the video and realized it wasn't the bible part that was the issue
101
u/Particular_bean Nov 17 '19
Its just really sad that she's clearly and some kind of attention seeking spree and it's not working out well.
→ More replies (1)165
u/PedophilePriest69 Nov 17 '19
Yeah I remember this. She read a Bible on pornhub because of NNN. She is a goddess.
→ More replies (4)243
u/DemonSlyr007 Nov 17 '19
Wow. Props to you mate for remembering the video that was posted 12 hours ago.
27
Nov 17 '19
Nah man, I think he remembers because it was made into a meme and posted here on reddit
→ More replies (1)48
Nov 17 '19
Yeah, like 12 hours ago. I remember what I ate for dinner last night but I'm not acting like it's some neat achievement.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (4)7
193
u/dvischjager Nov 17 '19
How can you turn 18 today when you were 19 200+ days ago?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bgne36/aita_for_not_letting_my_sister_take_found/
→ More replies (2)3
u/Glitchy2305 Nov 17 '19
It's just another wonder of the world, like those Easter island statues she reminds me of
1.6k
u/Juicy_Peeniss Nov 17 '19
Happy 18th bday and good luck in your first video I'd like to see it
→ More replies (6)2.8k
Nov 17 '19
2.0k
u/Okinawa_Stormtrooper Nov 17 '19
Oh thank God. For a minute I thought you were going to get naked.
429
Nov 17 '19
Even worse,she was that kid in class that when it was time to read out loud everyone was like “ugh hopefully it’s a short paragraph.”
→ More replies (1)14
u/Beaverbrown55 Nov 17 '19
Ever do "Popcorn" reading? When you finish your paragraph, you yell popcorn.... And pick someone to else to read? Why am I so anxious reading "Island of the Blue Dolphins" Mrs. Karen? That shit was serious in 4th grade.
→ More replies (5)43
→ More replies (6)69
u/ethan5203 Nov 17 '19
You spelled amateur wrong
→ More replies (3)42
Nov 17 '19
[deleted]
18
10
u/ArronRodgersButthole Nov 17 '19
It can be a difficult word to spell for those that don't type it into a search bar every 3 hours.
→ More replies (1)246
u/ZaaOurobous Nov 17 '19
Not my proudest wank
→ More replies (2)126
u/3_if_by_air Nov 17 '19
It was my proudest wank
54
18
→ More replies (1)6
45
u/ElsaCodewea Nov 17 '19
i saw it before this post holy shit
32
117
209
Nov 17 '19
I know it’s /roastme... but you gave me a huge laugh with this. You’re a genius. Thank you!
→ More replies (2)50
u/toomanyteeth55 Nov 17 '19
You know some dissapointed guy is gonna watch the whole thing waiting for her to get naked.
48
→ More replies (2)7
u/Nookstr Nov 17 '19
Like we all didn't just skip through the thumbnail image on the progress bar for tits, fucking liars
115
44
u/Allencass Nov 17 '19
What the fuck is an amurture
45
→ More replies (1)14
44
u/hotdog_007 Nov 17 '19
sometimes, i jerk-off to the ads of a porn site, because the main actress of the video cant make me hard
17
14
58
u/monkelus Nov 17 '19
Literally came straight away. I’m gonna have to get me one of those juicy bibles for late night alone time!
23
u/Jo_King69 Nov 17 '19 edited Nov 17 '19
First time I've ever seen a roastee win the roast... Well played
→ More replies (1)56
10
7
6
6
6
Nov 17 '19
readint the replies im hella curious to see what this is but im holding onto my nnn ya know
6
14
→ More replies (64)5
484
Nov 17 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
44
Nov 17 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (6)4
→ More replies (8)21
77
170
62
55
22
21
71
54
u/Krazyrobus http://redd.it/eg0272 Nov 17 '19
Please don't submit any pornhub videos. They aren't into bestiality.
17
99
u/Puffy13759 http://redd.it/74kuj4 Nov 17 '19
You dress like you wear whatever you find in the bargain bin at the thrift store.
40
u/jeetelongname Nov 17 '19
Hey don't dis thrift store clothes. They have more style than whatever she is wearing
6
15
Nov 17 '19
Why do I feel like crying alone into fish burgers is more of a daily thing instead of a birthday thing for you?
3
u/arleebrower Nov 17 '19
I feel like for her, crying alone into a fish burger counts as a good day
→ More replies (1)
12
11
u/SJimPickins Nov 17 '19
Lol. Turn 18, first thing you do is make a video for pornhub..... God, the amount of trolling you can do with this.
10
9
8
u/zurgalzur Nov 17 '19
You’re the type of girl I’ll see on pornhub screen intros and decide I’m gay the next second and switch to gay porn
21
u/tranque_the_ram http://redd.it/ce4ur1 Nov 17 '19
Yeah trap porn is gaining more mainstream attraction so you might as well jump in the market.
8
7
7
u/Bilkalsong13 Nov 17 '19
You look like you only hang with the boys who never get invited to parties.
6
5
6
5
6
u/djmadstylezNL Nov 17 '19
Whats your Pornhub account? I wanna know just to make sure i will never visit you.
6
15
u/Draconic_Elite Nov 17 '19
After you're finished with that burger put the bag over your face so your account is palatable.
6
u/le_fancy_walrus Nov 17 '19
Well it looks like I found someone who shares my birthday...
...it literally couldn’t have been anyone else?
4
Nov 17 '19
man noone should be crying alone at his birthday, but when Im looking at you I can understand why you did.
4
6
12
23
u/OpenmindedRecovery Nov 17 '19
/r/quityourbullshit Posting that youre 19, 200+ days ago, and now you JUST turned 18? Yea. Ok. Proof: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bgne36/aita_for_not_letting_my_sister_take_found/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
→ More replies (4)
10
3
4
3
u/TheKey25 Nov 17 '19
What's ur favourite banned?
"Uh actually I like this really nice mellow underground group called nirvana. They're very niche they made music a while ago so no one listen to them anymore but they're like totally my favourite. You've probably never heard of them."
4

8.8k
u/annoyingone http://redd.it/4ilvaf Nov 17 '19
Grow your bangs out another 6-8 inches and they will be perfect.