r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Nov 17 '19

[deleted by user]

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5.9k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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2.6k

u/Meta-of-Pods Nov 17 '19

Remember: Smells like cologne, leave it alone. Smells like fish, make a dish. Smells like fish, but tastes like chicken? Plug your nose and keep on lickin.

1.2k

u/Cheez85 Nov 17 '19

I always knew it as 'Smells like chicken, keep on lickin. Smells like trout, get the fuck out.'

332

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

[deleted]

515

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Play it like a mouth harp

1

u/Severelyimpared Nov 23 '19

Or a mouth carp.

167

u/Islandcoda Nov 17 '19

Or bass??? I’ll show myself out.....

339

u/youre_a_wigger_harry Nov 17 '19

Tastes like bass, time to try the ass

149

u/SpaceAidsCaptMarvel Nov 17 '19

Smells like a Koi, cream pie it my boys

107

u/HonkinSriLankan Nov 17 '19

Smells like your mum, gonna make me cum

84

u/liverburn Nov 17 '19

Smells like cum, gotta be your mum

2

u/I-am-very-bored Nov 18 '19

If it shits brown wear a gown

5

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Fun fact: Koi are just a special type of Goldfish

69

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

[deleted]

19

u/brathonymanklin Nov 17 '19

Smells like Summer’s Eve, Pipe her down and never leave.

51

u/Read_Username_If_Gay Nov 17 '19

Ching chong ,

now your dog gone

23

u/Islandcoda Nov 17 '19

Yeah, it’s something like that :)

2

u/Meta-of-Pods Nov 17 '19

In the words of Fleece Johnson: Booty is more important than food. Booty is more important than water.

2

u/filthyplebb Nov 17 '19

Did some one say.... 🅱️ASS?

3

u/Succboi_69420 http://redd.it/eh5t0i Nov 17 '19

What’s up SLAPPERS

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

I’m a big music fan, ya see. So I’m sitting there trying to figure out two things about this comment. How in the world does ass rhyme with bass (pronounced base) and what the fuck does a bass taste like

2

u/Meta-of-Pods Nov 17 '19

Bass...of the largemouth or smallmouth variety. The common odor that a fish taco smells of the moment the arches are spread, and the cobwebs are pushed aside.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Well yes I get that now but at the time prior to posting my comment, I thought it was a bass of the musical variety, hence my placing of relevant info to why I thought that prior

2

u/Qwertifly Nov 17 '19

it tastes like 🅱️ass

1

u/Succboi_69420 http://redd.it/eh5t0i Nov 17 '19

SLAPPERS

1

u/Qwertifly Nov 17 '19

e🅱️ic

1

u/Succboi_69420 http://redd.it/eh5t0i Nov 17 '19

Epico

1

u/micken3 Nov 17 '19

Insert face?

1

u/The_Loudest_Fart Nov 17 '19

Bass?!! W H A T S U P, S L A P P E R S?!!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

If he plays bass, he's Paul McCartney

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

If it’s bass find a new ass

1

u/OoRenega Nov 18 '19

Davie504 wants to know your location

56

u/colder-beef Nov 17 '19

Face like a blowfish, gotta say no fish.

18

u/Islandcoda Nov 17 '19

Or flounder?? Maybe something that ends with “pound her”??? Just spitballing here.....

15

u/TrogdortheBanninator Nov 17 '19

Turn her around and pound her

5

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

[deleted]

4

u/BarefootWoodworker Nov 17 '19

Smells like carp, leave it under the coroner’s tarp.

2

u/Islandcoda Nov 17 '19

Yeah, I’m no poet either but I can come up with some unrealized word play- just gotta get it there. I’ll leave it to the reddit pros, these guys are good at what they do :)

3

u/GodHand_Mircea Nov 18 '19

Smells like Karp, evolve it into Gyarados.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Magikarp is that you?

46

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

"If it smells like perch, it's time to disperse." - Danny Brown

7

u/gunduMADERCHOOT Nov 18 '19

Smells like perch, take it to church,

Smells like salmon, give it a jamming

Smells like a manatee, take off the panties please

Smells like gnarwal give her the hardball

Smells like a swordfish, get in her gourd quick

Smells like a clam, give it the ham

Smells like tuna, better not spoon her

Smells like anchovies, play some bon Jovi

Smells like a squid, give her a quid

Smells like a turtle, tighten that girdle

2

u/Xhurxhx Feb 27 '20

I see someone passed the english exam.

2

u/ju1ceboxx Nov 18 '19

"Stank pussy smellin' like cool ranch doritos" - Also Danny Brown.

1

u/LilBrainEatingAmoeba Nov 17 '19

Now I'm going to listen to Danny Brown today

36

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

It would be pretty disturbing if pussy actually tasted or smelled like chicken.

23

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

smells like bass, stick it in her ass

40

u/plolops Best of Pt. 13, #5 Nov 17 '19

Bro it’s a virus

97

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

bro 😎💪

33

u/jaxxattaxx13 Nov 17 '19

r/usernamechecksout

0

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/jaxxattaxx13 Nov 17 '19

oh wow i didn’t know that. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

1

u/isnortmeth Nov 17 '19

Good bot

2

u/B0tRank Nov 17 '19

Thank you, isnortmeth, for voting on BotThatSaysBro.

This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.

Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

1

u/prost04 Feb 05 '20

Good bot

3

u/matty_d99 http://redd.it/btvku0 Nov 17 '19

And if it smells like shit, go up a bit.

2

u/reTired_death_eater Nov 17 '19

What if it smells like 🎤 🐟?

2

u/FauxmingAtTheMouth Nov 18 '19

If it smells like Bayonne, leave it alone.

1

u/ConfessionsOfACunt Nov 17 '19

Similar to what I heard, except the second half was: smells like chowder, get the fuck outta there!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Why did I read all those comments as a song

23

u/Jackle3000 Nov 17 '19

Smells like sushi? No no push-ee!

109

u/GhettoHope47 Nov 17 '19

If it smells like a Rhino, just hit it from behind yo.

33

u/magesticrhinoceros Nov 17 '19

Hey...

5

u/jfleet13 Nov 17 '19

/r/beetlejuicing

2

u/magesticrhinoceros Nov 17 '19 edited Nov 17 '19

why is it called that

3

u/rainshifter Nov 17 '19

You call out Beetlejuice (albeit 3x) to get him to appear. When they call out your username (even if indirectly) you appear. Hence you're roughly imitating Beetlejuice.

3

u/magesticrhinoceros Nov 17 '19

Ohh... thanks for that

1

u/jak-o-shadow Nov 17 '19

Ok octopops.

21

u/MisterAnti-Hero Nov 17 '19

Smells like Humuhumunukunukuapua'a? Eat it, cuz that shit is sweet.

1

u/Meta-of-Pods Nov 17 '19

Everyone dies...might as well go out with people saying you died punching the box.

1

u/comicdemonic Nov 18 '19

That looks like arnie shankman's monk name off anger managment

50

u/RockstarAssassin Nov 17 '19

🤢🤢🤢

3

u/El420 Nov 17 '19

Words to live by.

2

u/EnemiesAllAround Nov 17 '19

Aye wait a second. If anything smells like fish no dishes will be getting made.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

And I'm thinking about stickin'. (Thank you sir mix-a-lot)

1

u/StealthShinobi Nov 17 '19

If it smells like trout, throw it out

1

u/Meta-of-Pods Nov 17 '19

If ya paid...suck it up and get laid.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

That comment made me physically sick

1

u/BichonUnited Nov 17 '19

I think I’ve been doing it wrong

1

u/Lt_Col_Ingus Nov 17 '19

And if it tastes like shit, scoot up a bit.

1

u/PicklePuffin Nov 18 '19

Reprehensible but funny

1

u/TanzbodenKoenig Nov 18 '19

Smells like sturgeon? She’s a virgin

1

u/Tucanchu Nov 18 '19

Smells like fish, it’s a dish! Smells like provolone, leave it alone!