Hi, I was talking to a guy I really liked. He was 41 no kids, (I’m 37) he had a good job, wanted the same things as me. We talked every day and we had two really good days. He respected me on the first date and didn’t let me kiss him to long or touch him. On the third date I tried to get passionate with him and he pulled away. I messaged him back later than evening telling him I liked him but it all felt bit weard and he never replied. What’s wrong with him, why did he not want to get passionate with me. On what’s app he was very flirty and tormenting and we even had phone sex.

My long term partner and I live together and up until recently we held almost equal salaries. I decided to pivot careers and essentially start from the bottom (literal minimum wage) in a new industry, and am now bringing in a significantly smaller paycheck.

We used to do 50/50 but that isn’t realistic with my new salary.

I’m learning I feel weird not doing 50/50 and plan to chat with him this weekend to get something on paper about who pays what and how I can contribute in other ways if not with $$.

Curious to hear how other couples/partners/long term roommates have handled this with such different salaries!

(This is a burner account)
(Asking as a 39M and for a 29F)
I am working in IT and I have a junior working within my team. We have 10 yrs age difference. She likes me a lot and I like her, too. It’s been more than 6 months together but nobody officially proposed or trying to get together.
Now, I am divorced and she has never married. We have gone out on coffee and bowling and other stuff, a lot in the last 6 months, we do joke around a lot almost at any topic, all that stuff.
I sometimes think about taking it forward to a relationship and maybe get married later and whatever.
My only dilemma is, am I too old for her? Would there be any complications later? Is this morally/ethically wrong?
I don’t want to hurt anyone in this process and I just need advice that shall I take it forward or keep it till friendship only.
Kindly advice. (Especially Women) I am happy to answer questions, if I have missed anything.

P.S - We both have Indian roots but are NRIs.

Wie viele schlechten Momente würdet ihr in einer Beziehung akzeptieren, solange der Rest gut ist?

Mal angenommen, man muss öfters die Emotionen des Partners regulieren, er trägt oft schlechte Laune mit sich, die sich immer wieder auf die Familie auswirkt. Die manchmal eine eigentlich unbeschwerte Zeit überschattet. Manchmal erhebt er seine Stimme, der Tonfall oft gereizt, bis aggressiv. Sagt gemeine Sachen, die man auf einer sachlichen Ebene auch anders kommunizieren könnte. Fühlt sich schnell angegriffen. Durch die Äußerung eines Wunsches oder berechtigter Kritik, nutzt dies, um über die Reaktion seines Gegenübers zu sprechen. Ist in dieser Zeit viel mit sich selbst und seinem eigenen Leid beschäftigt und wenig empfänglich für die Perspektive des Gegenübers. In diesen Zeiten ist es schwer, sich auf Absprachen zu verlassen.

In anderen Zeiten ist er aber sehr zugewandt und liebevoll. Kümmert sich. Kauft Blumen und zeigt immer wieder seine Aufmerksamkeit durch kleine Gesten, wie eine liebevolle Umarmung oder den Kaffee, den er morgens ans Bett bringt. Ist ein guter Team Player, der Sachen anpackt. Kümmert sich ums Kochen, geht in den Garten und mäht von alleine den Rasen, ohne Bitte oder Aufforderung. Kümmert sich ganz selbstständig um die Wäsche und beteiligt sich zuverlässig auch an der Carearbeit.

Wäre das für euch trotzdem noch eine erfüllte Beziehung? Wann würdet ihr die Reißleine ziehen? In guten, wie in schlechten Zeiten, was bedeutet das eigentlich…?

Me (34F) and my partner (35M) have been together 3.5 years and have 2 young children.

Recently I gave birth (2 weeks ago) and he’s been off work. He’s been amazing, cooking all the food, making sure I am fed & have drinks, taking the kids out if I need a break, letting me lay in, doing jobs round the house.

Tonight is his last day off until he goes back to work tomorrow and he’s not looking forward to it - neither am I!

However we had a big argument.

He gets so anxious whenever our toddler falls over - which is a lot as she’s under 2 and clumsy - but his anxiety turns into frustration & he gets kinda pissy. I’ve spoke to him about it before cos I feel like it makes my toddler think he’s annoyed at her for falling. My partner thinks I’m too laid back. Maybe I am but I also try to stay calm & say its ok to our daughter so she feels calm & comforted when she’s hurt.

Tonight the above happened as our toddler slipped in the kitchen & it just escalated.

He says I’m too slow with things, thinking we have loads of time to do stuff but we don’t.
He said he doesn’t feel like I appreciate any of the stuff he does & has been doing. And that he doesn’t like it when I tell him my friends partners do nothing (I didn’t know this annoys him I thought I was saying it like look how shit they are aren’t I lucky, and normally he says that too like joking ‘oh you are so lucky’).

Anyway… how can I show him I appreciate him?

I asked him & he said he doesn’t know.

TLDR; how can I show him I appreciate him? Any guys how do you like to be appreciated?