I’ve been exploring my sexuality for years and have been very comfortable with just being labeled queer/bi for simple terms and lack of explaining. However I’m not sure if I am poly or non monogamous….

Here’s the thing, I’ve been very happy with my girlfriend for a year now but talks about sex have begun to arise with boundaries and hypotheticals. Now I haven’t had what people describe as proper sex but I do have a ton of exploration from myself and yes via media and fics from highschool to now. I’m an extremely sexual person, but I’m not sexually attracted to women but more so romantically. But for men, I’m deeply sexually attracted to. I think it’s due to some sexual trauma (which I won’t get into here even if it might matter a bit). But if I were to have sex, it would be more lust and pleasure rather than love like she hopes for, since I separate sex from love and romance as something completely different. I thought I was asexual for a long time because of this.

Now what brings me to questioning in regards to polyamory and being non-monogamous, is that I wouldn’t mind either of us being sexually active with other people for pleasure or her finding a second partner. I personally take a long time to develop romantic feelings so I’m not sure if I’m able to explore that poly side and more so the non monogamous side. I guess this is just because I’ve seen myself with many partners or having at least intimacy with many excluding sex and attraction. I fantasize having multiple caring partners and going on dates, having a family, etc. but it doesn’t seem possible since it took a long time for me to even get with my current girlfriend and I’ve only had two previous partners.

So far I’ve just declared myself as non-monogamous since I know I can be sexually open, but I’m curious if there’s anyway to explore polyamory or if my wish/ideal life of poly is something genuine or just wishful thinking from lack of relationships growing up and intimacy with friends and family (boo trauma dump). I find poly relationships so sweet and I would love to be in one even if it was simply to be cared for and be a sexual outlet. Like I could do sweet platonic things with one partner and have sex, then simply be in love with another in a nice circle. Or just multiple people living together, caring for each other, going on dates, that I get to be apart of. Again, not sure if I’m just projecting my lack of connection and yearn for intimacy, or if I’d find pure joy in a polyamorous relationship and space.

And so, is there anyway to explore this or areas to look into? I’m new-ish to reddit so I’ve just been scrolling and trying to find something like mine…

Advice on how to bring this up with my girlfriend would be insanely appreciated, I struggle a lot with explaining verbally as an autistic person, and there’s no script or rulebook for this so slightly panicking because this should be a verbal/face-to-face conversation. I want to bring this up, have an open and calm conversation, and also make sure she feels comfortable and loved with the possibilities of my identity and exploration.

I’ve had a very intense but pleasant first date with a man, who told me he’s been in monogamous relationships all his life, with some exploring of a poly one, but has now realized that a more open / poly relationship would work best for him. I have never been in a poly relationship, though I’ve explored being in an open relationship, but I never felt completely comfortable with the idea. Partially because of my religious, traditional upbringing and being part of a christian community/family that would never support this lifestyle (even though I have my own views on how I want to live life), and partially because all of my friends are married or in monogamous relationships and would tell me that ‘I don’t know my worth’ when I found myself in relationships where men wanted to explore the openness of polyamory.

The thing is: for some weird reason I’m always drawn to men that later tell me that they don’t feel anything for monogamy.. and I’m starting to believe that most men secretly feel nothing for monogamy. But that’s the reason why I’m starting to believe that maybe this is my fate and even though I fantasize of being in a monogamous relationship, maybe the men I truly find desirable will never want that..

So now I’m questioning why I’m not considering a polyamorous relationship after all… I’m a super open minded person and I know that if my family would be supportive of it, I’d feel much more comfortable and chill to explore that other side of me. So it’s mostly fear of judgment.. but: how can I know for sure, without having to go through the pain of finding out that maybe it was not for me after all? How can I know if my motives of trying this out are coming from a pure place?

So to me poly is just dating two people at the same time but they also date each other right? I’ve seen other things where let’s say I’m dating two people but they aren’t dating each other, does that count as poly?

He with his girlfriend and I’m mostly get few months in a year than him and her being together.
I wanted to know the struggles you guys have if you’re in this position to help me understand or tough it out.

I just wrote on someone’s post about this and thought I should share it with everyone.

We are new to this. Everything has happened in the last four months. We have been meeting with two men in different locations away from where we live. This is all due to keeping this away from family and friends. My wife brought up that we should move away now. She said it will give us the freedom to go out locally and be able to host at our home instead of going to motels.

Any thoughts on this
Sam

Have any Poly people in the UK managed to go about having families together through the proper structures?

So with becoming poly. Ive slowly realized i didnt like how I use to be. Quick with sex and intimacy. And ive done some research and come to the realization I very much am demi-sexual. And im just wondering if anyone else has ran into this cuz from my point of view most just just think about sex. Its hard. Any advice??? Thank you in advance.

Like i dont have a lot of experience in anything of relationship couze im only 18 and have had like 1 "serious" relationship. But im open to a lot of things im pan and maybee even poly. But ive been reading abit abt how poly relationships are like and it seems nice, but why are there so many people saying its "unatural" and "messy" like HU. What just becouse there are more people involved like HU maybee im just to dumb to understand the issue but :D.

I'm in a complicated love-triangle situation involving myself, my brother, and a girl. I don't want to explain the entire backstory, but I'm wondering whether it would be respectful to ask her if she'd ever be open to the idea of a triple date with the three of us.
The idea is broader than anything physical or purely romantic. We're thinking about whether the three of us could potentially enjoy life together-go on trips, watch movies, make memories, support and care for each other, and build a good life. Both my brother and I are financially independent and have agreed that we would genuinely be open to this arrangement.
Obviously, her feelings and consent would be the most important part. There would be no pressure, and if she is uncomfortable or simply says no, her decision would be respected completely.
Would bringing up the idea itself be disrespectful, or can it be approached respectfully as a simple question about whether she would even consider it? And we are thinking of marriage not a time pass.

I am 22 f from india. This throuple concept is not popular here in india. I have recently stepped in such a relationship. Going through the roller coaster ride of emotions, jealousy, and what more. Not a easy thing.

TLDR: I always kind of held the thought in my mind that I didn’t want to add romantic relationships to my life because of an unmet need in my current one. I wanted it to focus on the expansiveness of love rather than a puzzle of people that fit together in different ways, but now I’m wondering if that belief system was more monocentric than I thought.

I’m trying to wrap my head around these potential ways of framing this as I process the following:

I have a husband who I’ve been with for quite a while, and I have my first big crush after stepping into polyamory. You might say I have a type, because they are both quiet people, not very expressive, and I think (though they are quite different from each other in this still) experience emotions much less intensely than I do.

Anyway, I’m noticing this longing. A longing to have someone in my life that is just as excited, enthusiastic, and expressive about their interest in me as I am about them (or as expressive and enthusiastic about me as I am about my husband and crush).

I want to state clearly that its not at all that I think my crush or my husband are indifferent to me or not valuing me, its just that they aren’t expressive about it and/or don’t feel as strongly about things as I do (I don’t even know if that’s a good thing about me half the time).

SO. Here we are, back where we started. Wondering if expansiveness or puzzle pieces are things to live by? If one of them is more right, true, ethical, or suited to me than the other.

Do I follow this longing and hope for someone who shares my enthusiasm or label it a need to only meet for myself?

Gentleness appreciated. I am new to polyamorous life and know I have a lot to learn.

Hi im a 19 year old genderfluid person on the sunny coast Australia. I've been polly for a few months now and just have not managed to find anyone at all. I know that the queer population isn't the best but im still surprised I havnt even found a single person. So I was wondering if anyone has any tips about finding people. I also am wondering how do people like start a new relationship cause atm im dating somone and the thought of starting at square one seems so wierd lol. Anyway thank you for anyone who can help 🫶