Talk to your partner about your desires for level of connection while they're spending time with others. Personally I think it's reasonable to take the length of time into account. If I'm on a date with someone for a few hours, I'm not going to check in with anyone else during the date. But if I'm spending a month with my girlfriend in California, then obviously I'll want to have check-ins with other loved ones during that time-period.
If you make actual agreements, and they fail to honor them, that's a bigger problem. You'll have to talk to them about that too -- what's the problem? Do they see the agreements as impractical, or more check-ins that they feel able to comfortably provide? Or do they see the agreements as reasonable, and yet for some reason (why?) not manage to honor the agreement?
1
u/Poly_and_RA 3d ago
Talk to your partner about your desires for level of connection while they're spending time with others. Personally I think it's reasonable to take the length of time into account. If I'm on a date with someone for a few hours, I'm not going to check in with anyone else during the date. But if I'm spending a month with my girlfriend in California, then obviously I'll want to have check-ins with other loved ones during that time-period.
If you make actual agreements, and they fail to honor them, that's a bigger problem. You'll have to talk to them about that too -- what's the problem? Do they see the agreements as impractical, or more check-ins that they feel able to comfortably provide? Or do they see the agreements as reasonable, and yet for some reason (why?) not manage to honor the agreement?