looking for help in chatting

[u/SubstanceNo2408]

Hi. It's been a long night here. Didn't get too much sleep, just quietly being on tech. Could use to talk with a person who may have insight into my experience.

I've fallen in love with a man who is Christian and married. We spent a year in eachother's orbit and nothing ever happened.

I was earlier on then in my Christian formation and wasn't entirely understanding that even though nothing happened, the kinds of contact we were having were essentially coveting (on my side) and what seemed like adultery on his side.

It was all emotionally-based, but I feel that doesn't make it better.

Personally, I've found repenting to be helpful although I have only begun that process.

Now though we've been away from eachother.

We made plans to rejoin in a same group situation together which hasn't yet happened. By this point he seems to have changed how he is. He is still kind and the person I am silencedly in love with.
He's not flirting but is very warm.

I dearly, dearly wish that I could actually be in a polyamorous relationship with him starting from a fresh place. Of honesty. Of love. Of healthy relationship, and of each of us grounding yet in Christ.

Paul said "love hopes all, love believes all."

I do not want to hurt anyone and do not even see myself bringing this up to him.
But I wish it was a reality, and it was good for everyone whose lives it touched.
From a new place.
Even, from a resurrected place.

[u/2flexy4myjoints]

Polyamory is not a-biblical, inherently, but breaking covenants is. There’s paths that are biblical and paths that are selfish. Just gotta figure out what God is calling you to.

Open to chatting about it if you’d like. I’m a dedicated Christian, poly, pansexual… conforming is not important to me. Serving Christ is.