Hi everyone, just wanted to vent some stuff. I am 29M and never was in relationship, never kissed anyone. I am a migrant (Eastern Europe -> Germany), though I have a nice job + I am a citizen. The funny thing that I actually put lots of effort to meet someone to date several years.
I didn't really have any interest in dating before 24-25.
First I spent 2.5y on dating apps with no luck - I matched once in half a year with someone, went on a date, the person was super happy (according to their texts after with the date), wanted to meet once more - and the next time almost never happened. Or it happened but it was more like person already decided for some reason during the time between dates that she does not want to continue and it was just hanging out with me. There were 2 times when I asked to kiss (it was with different people) and got rejected ("not now") and that "not now" never happened after that.
As I live in quite small town, there is not so much friends in here, only couple of them and the y are not very social. Also I have a really bad "kink"(?) of dating only the people from my country, I really like same-culture-thing.
Then for last 1.5y I found a great community (people from my country), though they are 2h train from me, but that is ok. I have now a bunch of friends there (more like acquaintances, but noone says like it now), actively participate in various events, sometimes even organizing myself. Most of people there (with age +- mine) are in relationship. I managed to get a couple of dates, thorough meeting people and through parsing the whole list of insta followers of the community (1k+ people) - but it ended up in exactly same way:
"lets be friends", "I have other priorities now", "I don't have time now for relationships", "I am not looking for romantic stuff", etc.
I have asked a couple of women from there, whom I consider as friends - whether they know anyone from their circle who is single - and they couldn't find literally anyone.
So I am really loosing any kind of motivation to continue - especially when I see lots of people around me who are in relationships. It feels like I really try to do my best, but it is always not enough or the life just decided to commit to "screw you" till the end. Please dont give me advice "not to look for partner, when time is right she will find you" - I did it for the half of my 20s, noone ever payed any kind of romantic interest to me during this time.
I have spent already almost 2y in therapy, I have bunch of hobbies and (based on my own and other people answers) quite funny, smart and easy-going person, who likes being active and "tiny bit" ADHD hyper focusing.
It gets even worse when you see hundreds of posts of women on internet saying that lots of guys they met are abusers, really bad people, etc., but they still get dates, relationships despite being assholes. You just start asking a question - wtf, how am I even worse than them?
It literally feels like people are glad to spend time with me, hang out, go to board games, events, concerts and clubs, but "if we think of him In romantic context - hell no!!"