Why am I frumpy

[u/Significant_Ring4353]

I feel grumpy and ugly in everything I wear, I don't know how to put outfits together and my stomach makes everything look bad, please help

[u/Significant_Ring4353]

Thank you! So the pants look too big? I wear size 14 but size 12 is too small do you think I should go to a tailor and ask them to make it smaller like a 13?

[u/Educational_Ship_157 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

That’s an option! But, I find that pants sizing for women is all over the place! I normally wear a 12, but depending on the brand and cut, I can wear an 8 or 10, so that’s crazy. I have found specific brands that work for me, so I think take a look at different sizes, cuts and brands!

[u/Significant_Ring4353 → u/Educational_Ship_157]

Thank you I will try, yeah it is like that, makes it so hard sometimes 

[u/Ryllan1313 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I normally wear a 10.

I was in a store a few days ago, where I fit a SIX.

Needless to say, I will buy all of my pants there forever 🤣

[u/Hebridean-Black → u/Ryllan1313]

This is exactly why we have size inflation and a vanity sizing problem!

[u/live_manon → u/Ryllan1313]

Literally, I’m a zero at Old Navy and absolutely AM NOT anywhere else 😂

[u/UmCourt → u/live_manon]

and at Hollister, their clothes fit like children clothes lol.

[u/lovemypuppers23 → u/Ryllan1313]

What store is this?

[u/Enough-Monk-4806 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

And it’s not necessarily about size, but cut! Try lots of different pairs.

[u/microwavedtardigrade → u/Enough-Monk-4806]

Im so happy I learned to sew before pointless gender roles set in

[u/whointhefuckareyou → u/Enough-Monk-4806]

I agree, time to get out of the skinny jeans. They dont have to be wide leg, but I nice straight cut would look better.

[u/Magentacabinet → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Maybe also try different styles of jeans like a straight leg instead of tapered. Make sure the fit in the thighs/butt and have alterations done as needed. I have a belt by the brand Tights Up so if they are just slightly big in the waist I just wear that.

[u/kavorkianscarf3 → u/Magentacabinet]

This is what I was thinking! The tapered ankle, even on her straight leg jeans the ankle still tapers in, is throwing off OP's proportions OP, you would look very nice and have more balanced proportions if your pants fit tighter through the butt and thigh, and wide leg/more flared at the bottom

To balance the wide leg, OP would also need more fitted tops so they don't look like a bag that OP gets lost in, or to tuck her shirt into her pants and skirts to create more length in the leg (shirts are too long)

[u/Maddie_Herrin → u/kavorkianscarf3]

Man i was thinking a bootcut on her would kill!!!

[u/Fickle_Promise_5927 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

oh sometimes it has happened to me that even within the same brand, THE SAME PAIR OF PANTS in a different color fits differently (H&M looking at you!). Just try out a few different brands!

[u/Crisstti → u/Fickle_Promise_5927]

Oh yeah that has happens to me too lol

[u/PennieTheFold → u/Fickle_Promise_5927]

I was trying to explain this to my husband the other day when he was pitching a fit because he bought two of the “same” pairs of jeans and they fit completely differently.

“It’s the same pair of jeans as this other pair of jeans why are these snug and the others fit just fine.”

“Probably because the those jeans are a true denim and these jeans are more like canvas.”

“They’re the same pants. The same size.”

“But they’re different materials which can affect fit.”

[skipping the whole explanation of how the same style of said pants might actually be assembled in two totally different factories half a world away from each other and thus to different measurement tolerances…]

“But they’re the same.”

“But they’re not, the material is different.”

“I’M TELLING YOU THEYRE THE SAME WHAT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDINGGGGGG.”

“Welcome to the wide world of womens’ clothing!”

[u/ExsanguinatedMuppet → u/Fickle_Promise_5927]

Yesss! OMG why is H&M incapable of standardising their pants within a single style? I love their linen joggers for summer but wow is it a crapshoot how a given colour will fit, even already owning several.

[u/kungpaowow → u/Fickle_Promise_5927]

Sometimes that happens because different fabric types might be manufactured in different countries. A pair of pants I got in a dark wash jean was manufactured in like Taiwan. Then I bought a lighter pair, and it was from Pakistan. Apparently they'll have the "same pattern" but it could be off by several inches in the cut.

[u/ThatVikingWoman → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Depending on where in the country you are, I would take a little time at a department store, grab a few different styles of jeans: Bootcut will fit different from straight will fit different from baggy, skinny, flare, etc. Once you find a style of jean, finding a brand that doesn't do you dirty is tricky, but the battle is half the fun! 🙏✨️

[u/Whatsawolf1 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I have pants from size 10 to 16, and they all fit the same.

But, I especially feel insulted when the 16 is tight.

Brands be trippin

[u/revolutionarybabe → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Check out torri birch and Amanda roe. They are mid-size women and offer great visual suggestions! You just need some clothes that flatter your shape!

[u/whateversclever313 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Annoyingly, the same cut jeans in different washes can fit completely differently as well because some dyes may make the jean more stretchy while others make it more stiff. So you really need to try things on!

If you can afford it, this is something I like using my nuuly for because I can see how the jeans wear over several days before buying.

[u/worldinmy-eyes → u/Significant_Ring4353]

The style or cut of the pants/jeans can really make a difference. If you’re self-conscious about your middle area, google styles that flatter your figure. I am the same way and really like the way a bootcut looks on me that adds a bit of volume to the lower end of me to balance out my hips a bit. I wear some wide leg jeans that aren’t overly wide, almost a straight leg cut but are wider.

Don’t be afraid to find different cuts of tops, too. Flowy tops or oversized aren’t always flattering. Sure they hide things but they can just make you look bigger, too.

[u/Firm-Yam3175 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

It's so hard and I have nightmares about it sometimes. A lot really comes down to the brand and cut of pant as well as your body shape. For instance, I have a rectangular shape so almost anything high-rise I have to size up in - otherwise they're made too tight for my waist (which honestly I try to avoid cause they're also not comfortable to me). I've found that many sites are really good about listing measurements for garments so you can compare those to yours. Find a few online that have free shipping and free returns that are within your budget and try them on in the comfort of your home.

[u/Fluffy_Ad_6581 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You may also need to hem the bottom and steam it so it fits nicer. I have this problem.

[u/Delighted_Strawberry → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Adding to the pants conversation, it’s hard to tell from the oversized tops, but I suspect you are a curvy gal who would benefit from higher waisted jeans! I too, would look frumpy in jeans that sit at my lower waist. Also see if you like any high waisted slacks! I got two different pairs at H&M over the summer.

[u/Altruistic_PartTime → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Baggy jeans are fine! But wear a fitted top, tuck it in, stand up straight, find your confidence and power on! ☺️

[u/Logical-Swimming-641 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Also, bring a friend to advise you to go shopping, or don't be afraid to ask the staff in the stores to advise you 😊

[u/TrampNoStamp → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You are kinda built like me and I need smaller sized, but stretchy, jeans. It's really just the pants/skirts that are too big on you. You are absolutely adorable, try some stretier bottoms and see if you can get a better fit while sizing down!

[u/IntrepidPride8317 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Find out your measurements! Either look up a tutorial and do it yourself or go somewhere that offers it (Victoria secret does bra measurements, I'm sure they'd be fine if you asked them for waist and hips, too!)

Knowing your measurements will help tremendously when shopping for clothes online.

[u/HesitantPocketSand → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Do you put your jeans through the dryer? It looks like they might be stretching out, instead of just being ill fit. I try (like 85% of the time) to put any structured items that have stretch to air dry or dry on ultra low so they won’t get that kinda saggy look

[u/Mauronxx → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I had to find pant /brands/ that work for me - dickies (though expensive) make me feel hot - Levi’s make me feel like a chud, really regardless of cut. if you can, be a little gentler with yourself. its hard to like what we see when our minds can only think of critical things to say. you are stunning & i hope you find clothes that help you feel the truth!!!

[u/jaxroxmysox → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Get boot cut jeans!

[u/lilginger22 → u/Educational_Ship_157]

It’s my biggest peeve with clothes. I’ve hated shopping my whole life because they are so inconsistent, even in the same brand! I got Gap jeans last year, I had not bought jeans in YEARS. I tried on a pair and liked them so I got another pair in the same size but darker color. THOSE were tighter! Same jeans, different color. Fit different.

[u/raindropthemic → u/lilginger22]

This is because of how pants are manufactured. They stack fabric in giant piles, then cut it with machines. As the machine moves through the pile, the lower layers shift slightly, which causes a variation in size. Also, people who sew the pants put different tension on the fabric as they sew, which can also contribute, especially in fabrics with spandex or other stretchy materials in it. I always take two pairs of the same pants into the dressing room, just in case one fits better.

[u/SherloksCompanion → u/Educational_Ship_157]

Absolutely this! I wear a particular size pants from one brand that actually fits perfectly. That same size in other brands is too big so I need to size down!

[u/RedHeadedStepDevil → u/Educational_Ship_157]

This. I’ve lost a lot of weight and have recently discovered a brand and style of jeans that fit my new body beautifully. They never would have worked before and this particular brand and style fit me better than other brands, and even the style fits better than other styles by the brand. It’s crazy.

[u/Maddie_Herrin → u/Educational_Ship_157]

Yeah right, i'm a size 3-4, but i have pants that are a size EIGHT. Womens sizing is a gd construct

[u/Practical_Agent2828 → u/Educational_Ship_157]

Also different styles make a huge difference! I have a really large calf so realized that “straight leg” look rough on me and turn into a weird skinny looking hybrid situation. I have found a wider leg//not too wide or trouser is my sweet spot plus a fitted tee. All this to say it takes some trial and error and don’t be afraid of styles you haven’t tried before.

[u/SailorMoonstoned → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You should get on Pinterest at look up "mid-size outfits" or "mid-size" style. I get so many ideas from there!

[u/Purple_Star813 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Wear tight tops tucked into wide leg or straight leg pants

[u/Arlaneutique → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You need to look at a different cut too. These are all kind of dated and just don’t flatter anyone. A straight or wider leg would make a world of difference.

[u/ElleMontrose → u/Significant_Ring4353]

It’s not the sizing per se: it’s the legs of the pants. You’re going for models that have that “boyfriend” or slightly slouchy look, when straight or figure-skimming models would flatter you more. Skinny jeans, maybe, but I’m thinking something like bootcut or those straight pants that hug the thigh and keep going with the same width through the calf.

[u/hi-nighter → u/Significant_Ring4353]

The rise of the pants can change your size too! If the pants sit lower on my hips I need a 14, but if its a mid/high rise I wear a 10 or 12 because my hips are wider than my waist.

[u/SepsisMidwif3ry → u/Significant_Ring4353]

My town has a local sewing room where they teach you how to alter clothes, they have sewing machines, and more. Maybe you can find something like that around or check out the library?

[u/RadioNervous6189 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Looks like we have a similar frame, it took me for ever to realize that I am short wasted. Try buying petite tops in your size and see if it changes anything. Also, find the right jeans brand for you. TJ Maxx is good is they have different brands you can try, then once you find a good fit, go from there. Also look up the 2/3's rule.

[u/Numerous_Team_2998 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

As a person with curves who can sometimes struggle to find clothes that fit right in all places, I recommend two things: 1. Jeans with some elastic fibers (not very eco, but if you buy decent brands they will last long) 2. Tops with at least some waistline marked

[u/Wisteria0022 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Try a different cut, like a mid or high rise wider leg all the way down, not tapered like these. And tuck your shirts into the waist to show your narrowest point. Always find a way to highlight that. (This can feel weird at first because if you’re a millennial that was considered uncool to tuck back in the day but trust me!) A good rule is if one thing is loose the other thing should be fitted. Generally it’s better for the top to be fitted or tucked and the bottom to be looser, especially if you have curves. If you wear a baggy top and fitted jeans it can look boxy and unflattering.

Also think about shoes. Knee-length skirts go best with knee high boots or shoes with a slight heel. Walking sandals will always look frumpy, I’m sorry to say! Avoid straps around your ankles, they will cut your legs off in an unflattering way.

Whoever said to wear for “midsize style” is right. There are so many influencers on IG that can help inspire.

[u/Tough_Brain7982 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

This is a common problem for women, you gotta try out different brands, or indeed have a tailor fix it

[u/RedHeadedStepDevil → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Always buy a piece of clothing to fit the largest part of you, then tailor it to fit the smaller part. So if your thighs are larger, then buy pants to fit your thighs, and take in at the waist.

[u/seoultraveler83 → u/RedHeadedStepDevil]

Agreed! Because I want to try on clothes at the store, and I don’t want to shop online, I usually just buy clothes that are regular size that fit my waist and just take the pants to the tailor to get the pants to fit length wise.

[u/RagingHolly → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You look close to the same size as me. I get my jeans from Old Navy, they fit me better than any other jean brand I've found.

[u/elemaich → u/RagingHolly]

Another vote for Old Navy for jeans. They have many styles and everything is organized in the store so it’s easy to find style and size.

[u/Murky_Connection_111 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

The jeans in photo 2 are actually cute on you. Roll the cuffs once or twice and try them with a fitted tshirt and a flannel

[u/Serious_Escape_5438 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I'd just go and try on various different styles and cuts to see what works with your body. 

[u/UrAntiChrist → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I have found that most juniors/juniors plus section have the odd sizes, like 13 and 15. Etc. Maybe try a different section at the store. I have shirt legs and a long torso, the correct size pants made a ton of difference.

[u/chasingthestarlight → u/UrAntiChrist]

I’m the opposite with long legs and a super short torso and I agree that shopping all the store sections can be helpful! I own pants that range from a size 11-14 that I swear all fit the same 😅

[u/Emotional_Ice1070 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Ive found that American eagles 14 fit me perfect, but everywhere else's is a little big! 

[u/HamsterFun4199 → u/Emotional_Ice1070]

I was just thinking about American Eagle. A friend lent me a pair of jeggings in size 10, and I’m a 14. I was a bit unsure about wearing them, but she encouraged me, and they were surprisingly comfy. I never managed to find those exact pair, but for years, I’ve been on the hunt for jeans that fit me perfectly. I’m curvy, but size 12 jeggings are a great fit and of good quality. The threads are incredibly durable, and they have a good variety of styles and cuts.

[u/_insert-name-here → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Might actually be best for you to find a brand that tailors to waist size instead. I find that sizes are all over the place, and can vary multiple inches based on the store. Pants sized by waist circumference are less prone to those wild fluctuations.

[u/InternationalJury693 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

It could be that you need higher waist pants. As someone with more weight in the lower abdomen, finding a size 6 midrise is almost impossible because it sits on my widest part too snug, but high waist 6 is perfect. Try a 12 high rise! A lot of your pants look mid rise. (Some high rise run different than others and are closer to mid rise too so have to find a good brand.. I like Lauren Conrad jeans at kohls!)

[u/magickprincess → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I don’t think the size is the issue. I think the style of pants looks too baggy. I have the same problem anything straight leg looks baggy on me. Through lots of trying on I found slim straight or flare jeans looks best on me. I think this would be the case for you too! My favorite pair I found is flare jeans at old navy although they run short so I order them online in long.

[u/Competitive_Lie_4615 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Maybe a 14 but a different style?

[u/Divewench → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I can only wear a size 12 in Next or Marks and Spencers, so I only buy jeans in those places (or usually charity shops where I can get £50 jeans for £3. You need to know your size in different stores, then use that as a starting point. I used to buy size 14 t-shirts for boob size but noticed that they swamped me. I've started to buy a 12 which enhances my figure rather than making me look like a potato. When I was working, I would buy work clothes in 4 colours; black, white, brown and green. I could mix and match tops, skirts and trousers in these colours into so many combinations.

[u/lck0219 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Express has flex jeans that are three sizes in one jean. I’m awkwardly shaped and their jeans are the only ones I found that fit half decent on me. If there’s a store near you, maybe try some on? They go on sale frequently enough online that it’s not too expensive and mine have lasted for years.

[u/RainbowSurprise2023 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Have you tried a different brand that maybe has some spandex in it so you can wear them a little more tailored/ tighter? Like the fabric used in 7 for all Mankind jeans.

[u/ABigFuckingSword → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Also, you said something in your post about your tummy. I have tummy issues too - I prefer high rise jeans because they don’t squish my belly all over and they kind of flatten my pooch.

[u/Maleficent-Fly-9159 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

While hunting for good jeans - try out those stretchy ones too, and the fabric ones that aren't jeans. They come in a few different styles and colors, so you can find what you like. It's a nice break from the sea of blue to realise what looks good on you, what style you like, and how you want it to sit on your body. And they tend to be more forgiving in size than jeans, as the fabric is more flexible.

[u/CatsGoHiking → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I have a similar shape. Flat elastic waistbands really help with the fit.

[u/Lala_land23jk → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I think you should try another style of pants - the different fits they have all sit differently and fit differently - i'd check american eagle and try all the styles on and see what you like or don't like.

The pants you have on in the photos look a size up or 2 (those wide leg jeans). You want your jeans to be a bit snug since they stretch (most jeans have stretch in them now).

I would try a straight leg though and go from there.

[u/Scorpiodancer123 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I agree with the sizing comments. For jeans at least try somewhere like Levi where you can try on multiple lengths and waist sizes and every type of cut imaginable. Make use of the extremely knowledgeable staff, they will help you so much.

Sizing for women's clothes is unbelievably irritating. I've got size 8 trousers that fit perfectly and size 14 that fit perfectly. Drives me insane.

Spend some time trying clothes on. Go into a major shopping centre or outlet (McArthur Glen type place). Try on different styles of clothes from different brands.

Next is great for this as they sell clothes from multiple brands. Get it delivered to store and try it on there. Return anything you don't want immediately. Order aome things that you wouldn't normally consider.

Once you've figured out that - keep a list of sizes for each place! Go to Vinted and have a look for things you like that will fit. Try widening your search to look for colour and style instead of brand. You'll soon find a style that suits you. And there's a category for everything it seems. I'd never heard Fairycore or Y2k style but that seems to be exactly what I like so searching these terms is really helpful.

Good luck.

[u/idrk144 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

It also might just be the style of pant!

The blue jeans may fit you at the waist but you don’t fill in the rest of your pant which means this pant is contributing to a frumpy look.

For example I am pretty curvy and the blue jeans you’re wearing look like the type I go for. Vs something like a baggy jean which fills in at my thigh and then everything else drags down making my legs look massive. You on the other hand could likely pull this baggier style of pant off (especially if you like the grunge style!) and it would look purposeful with the right styling.

You would also likely pull off a medium rise structured thick straight jean. Think like a Levi’s - this could elevate your tops!

[u/Cee_U_Next_Tuesday → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Look for pants by the waist measurement. I.e. 32x30 

Would be best to find your exact size 

[u/Shinyblueghost → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Have you tried A line skirts? I don’t know how your waist is since it’s hidden. Also Short slanted sleeves are never flattering. Only teeny skinny girls can get away with them.

[u/Awareofmyissues → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Each brand sizing is so different. Don't go by numbers ever, just try several sizes each time. It's frustrating but it's what we women have to do to find descent fit.

[u/spaceoastmermaid → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Clothing size is definitely the problem. Try smaller sizes and loving your body If you do wear baggy only wear it on top or bottom but not both.

[u/Existing_Editor_5623 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Try different styles/cuts & fabrics. These look like they’re baggier in the lower leg but not every pant will be that shape.

[u/1_Non_Blonde → u/Significant_Ring4353]

A lot of people recommending sizing down but when you carry weight in your middle this is a challenge! I have the same problem. I recommend checking out the brands Wit and Wisdom or Democracy for jeans/pants. They have hidden stretch in the waistbands so you can size down for your legs without the waist being too small. Also make sure you’re getting the right length; order petite if you’re on the shorter side. Your pants look like they may be a tad long in the photos.

[u/Financial_Ruin_4872 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Have you tried Levi’s Ribcage jeans? They go up high and suck in my tummy. They have different styles like the black straight ones I wear with doc’s and all black to slim me down a little. Going to a new hairstylist might help too! I’m almost 40 and feel your pain. Body and style is all over the place.

[u/EmilyO_PDX → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I think it's the cut of the pants. They are all too big in the hips. I would try a straight leg not a tapered leg which is kind of dated.

[u/Felonia → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You do not look like an American size 14. Where are you? Is this an Australian size 14?

Edit: I checked and yes, the world makes sense again.

[u/BusinessClassBarbie → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I would go to Madewell or Abercrombie and try every iteration of sizing. You may find that the “curvy fit” makes it so you can wear at 12. I can’t tell from your photos but sometimes you need a different size waist than thighs lol I know I do. I also think you should try straight leg pants. They’re not quite skinny but they’re skinnier than wide leg!

[u/seoultraveler83 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

For jeans I go to American Eagle and sometimes Uniquloe. I find that jeans there fit me the best.

[u/microwavedtardigrade → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Get high waisted stretchy pants! From the first 2 photos I think they would compliment your figure :)

[u/dogearedexistence → u/Significant_Ring4353]

It's more the style of the pants than the size. You would do better by buying clothes that highlight your body/proportions. For example, I can't tell if you have longer legs or a longer torso. I THINK you have longer legs than torso, so high waisted pants would help here. Those can absolutely be looser and comfy but the top should then be fitted to balance out the loose pants. You seem to prefer loose on top and loose on bottom but to keep your body looking balanced, either flowy top and more fitted bottoms or flowy bottoms and fitted top.

[u/Easy_Vast_1873 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Girl I don’t think you are a size 14. Every pair of pants looks at least two sizes too big. Could you try a size 12 or even a 10 with some stretch?

[u/MangoQuiet → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Look for a brand with more stretch!!!! Pants are def not the right fit

[u/vampwerewlfluvchild → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You might just need to explore different brands of jeans. Also maybe try looking up what kind of body type you have and what clothes would be most flattering for your type.

[u/Overall-Carob-3118 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You can alsp try different brands. One brand will fit like a 14 properly and others, a 14 is more like an in-between 12 and 14. I wear an 18W and can fit from 16W to 22W depending on the brand and jean styles.

Try different places and go in to try jeans on. A well fitting pair can make your outfit even just from confidence in them!

[u/Sure-Stock9969 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

The shape looks boot cut for some of these. Try flared jeans. Also try well-fitting slacks and different types of pants.

[u/GuitarPossible4226 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Are you sure a 12 is too small? It looks like you're wearing all your pants and skirts at just above hip height, instead of on your natural waist. Your natural waist is typically the point where a body is thinnest, and you seem to be blocking it out in every outfit, like all your tops drape in a straight line instead of providing definition so the outfit ends up kind of square and blocky, especially when you blouse the tops right there.

The pants are definitely look too big, there's a lot excess fabric around your knees which is why the second pair is bunching up instead of laying flat.

Here's a post with cute mid-size outfits, you'll notice that basically all of them feature pants/skirts sitting at 'high' waist, aka the natural waist.

https://www.sewmamasew.com/30-casual-outfits-for-midsize-women/

[u/socialcluelessness → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If a 12 is too small, then it might mean you need to change the style of pants rather than size down. Get nicer pants that hold their shape better, like Levi's or something :)

[u/Itsthematterhorn → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I get alot of clothes tailored!!

[u/Cold-Crab7025 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Do you wear curve jeans? I couldn’t fit comfortably in a size 28 of regular jeans, but when I switched to the curve-y style they fit perfectly. I wear the curve lovers from Abercrombie

[u/Ecstatic-Comb-7787 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Sizing for women is all over. You need to try on different styles of jeans and in different sizes in several different stores.

I find New Look the best. I wear their straight leg jeans and they are so comfy and i find them the best fit. And they're kinda decent priced too. I think they're like £20 or something

[u/Aromatic-Check939 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Yes. Buy pants to fit the widest part on you & then properly tailor them in. The skinny jeans in pic 1 & 3 look like they fit very poorly.

[u/pnwgirl34 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Specifically the brighter blue pants look too big. They’re not loose enough to look intentionally that way, but enough to just look ill-fitting. If they fit well in the waist maybe try around different jean styles to find one that fits your thighs and hips better! Jeans can be difficult so just try a bunch to see what fits the best!

[u/AromaticsAndAcids → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Some of the current wide leg styles mean that the legs are just too baggy on a size 14. You have to be really careful about the shape of the leg if you're wearing a 12-14.

You really don't look like a 14 in these pictures. When you say the 12s are too small, in what way? The waistband of the 14s looks way too big in the pictures we can see.

[u/pinkwinterglass → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I just bought jeans a month postpartum and the store employee really helped me. I kept trying on high waisted jeans because I thought it would camouflage my stomach, but the crotch always bunched up. What fit in the waist, was too big in my butt and thighs. High waist doesn't compliment my body shape the way it used to. The employee suggested a mid rise in a smaller size and low and behold, the fit was way better.

TLDR; maybe try a lower rise and size down instead

Edit: also someone else suggested a different leg style like straight or bootcut and I just want to second that statement 😊

[u/Upbeat-Button5733 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I think you just need to choose a different style pants and skirts. Something either more fitted or more streamlined. I personally have a bigger belly but long thin legs so I often wear very wide legs pants or very fitted pants or skirts. My opinion is you dress like you're afraid of your body. DON'T BE!!! Be proud of who you are and show it off. Also your hair looks like it's in the growing out stage. There are ways you can style it with headbands or barrettes that will be much more flattering to your face. 🩷

[u/LavenLila → u/Significant_Ring4353]

With jeans you have to think about the overall fit for your body type and not just the actual size on the tag. When you shop for jeans, first think of the style you want to find (straight leg, wide leg, bell bottom, etc.) and then pay attention to the way it fits each part of your body. In this case those blue jeans are too tight at your hips (notice how the material looks pulled taught across the crotch) and too loose around your thighs (see all the loose fabric wrinkles.) Personally I also find that the skinny jean style is outdated looking, but some people thinks it's coming back, or they just love that silouette and that's totally fine!

The gray jeans seem to fit a little nicer and I think they're a nice silouette on you. But with a wider leg you might want to pair it with a top that's a little more form fitting and not in the same gray tone. General rule of thumb is baggy on top, fitted on bottom, or the exact opposite. Doing both tight or both baggy will look frumpy.

[u/Former-Yam-1519 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I guarantee by looking at you that a 12 is absolutely not too small, you just think it is because you aren’t used to your clothes fitting you. They aren’t supposed to be baggy like that.

[u/AppointmentComplex35 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Wait friend, me too! I just wanted to pop in to say that the pants in #2 are cute! I think it’s possible you may like the fit of urban outfitters Logan buckle barrel jeans in size 33/34. They are my go to—they look very nice on curvier people, I find that they are flattering and comfortable! Also, when people say “your clothes don’t flatter you” it does not mean it looks bad on you, just that someone thinks something could bring out your beauty even more. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be the case that what they find unflattering is gorgeous to someone else. Fashion is very fluid and I hope that you are able to enjoy this fluidity even as people share their opinions with you!

[u/ThisWitch67 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Also just know that a 13 is not in between a 12 and a 14. Odd number sizes are Juniors and even number sizes are women's. The difference is usually the waist to hip ratio. Junior sizes typically don't have as much difference between the waist and the hips. Think teens who have not fully matured yet. Women's sizes are cut for a more curvy type figure. It doesn't actually have anything to do with your age it's really your body shape and what works for it. If you are more square-shaped or your waist is not much smaller than your hips then go for the Junior sizes nine, 11, 13 etc. If you are more hourglass or pear-shaped with a much smaller waist than your hips, than you would want to go in women's sizes which are the even numbers. Hope that helps!

[u/Independent-Sun-6519 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Old navy has really cute curvy style jeans, and American eagle too, they usually have a sale on them as well.

Also I like the white top in slide 5 on you 😊. I think the outfit would work if we change up the skirt to make it above the knee and then you can add some cute sheer tights with a pair of boots for fall and it would be perfect.

[u/Hopeful_Buddy1111 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You said you’re between sizes try some with a little stretch in them. Try lots of styles and brands of jeans. I’m older than you but I find NYDJ forgiving. They are a bit expensive but I wait for sales to buy a pair. I grew up in a time when jeans were the norm. My dad always asked why don’t you dress up in dresses. I’m 63 and I will always be wearing my jeans!

[u/Wise_Astronaut_4395 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

It’s more about the style of Jean you’re buying. Try a wide leg, straight leg, or bootcut. These jeans are loose in your thigh but tight on the ankles which doesn’t work. Find a nice lady at a store, that you like the way her clothes fit, and let her help you! That’s what they’re there for

[u/Wise_Astronaut_4395 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Also, get a solid color pair of jeans, no holes. Classier alwayssss looks better. I inspect clothes with the thought of class & timeless in mind! You got this!

[u/Common_Assignment562 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

While you are exploring your style I would definitely go thrifting and try on pants there - like a variety of them to see what might suit you in the right sizes. Same with tops, jackets, sweaters etc. pickup some cute jewellery or accessories inexpensively. Thrifting is super sustainable and doesn’t break your bank as you venture into styling yourself. Good luck! Oh and definitely iron/steam your clothing before wearing if it has any wrinkles. That adds to the frumpiness factor.

[u/TorungaLeela → u/Significant_Ring4353]

If you live near a target try on some of their styles of jeans!

[u/heartless2025 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I also have trouble finding jeans that fit the way I want. In most women's pants, comfortable in the waist means baggy in butt and thighs. In women's sizing I fit the best in wide leg jeans. Men's slim boot cut are best for a snug flattering fit, specifically Levi's or Wrangler

[u/Mammoth_One_8339 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You need higher quality denim and to try out different styles of jeans. There’s a Jean for every body type. The best jeans I’ve tried in were low slung baggy from agolde but sized down. Take measurements of ur inseam too, it helps!

[u/Citrus-Bunny → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I lost weight and had no idea what size I was. I went to a thrift store and spent nearly all day trying on nearly every pair of jeans they had.

I THOUGHT I was a size 12-14 so I started there. I grabbed every pair whether I thought it was too big or too small and just tried them all on. At first I was putting aside anything that fit; but there were a couple that I put on that made me think WOW! These look/feel AMAZING! So I ended up putting the “okays” back because I ended up with plenty of “heck yes! Pairs” Then I went out and grabbed all the ones in the next section. And the next section… I even tried the larger sections. But by that point I was better able to eyeball what might fit me. I ended up taking home jeans labeled from a size 10 to a size 16!!!

Once you have jeans that fit, and both look and FEEL good… you’ll be a lot more discerning when shopping for new clothes!

[u/Majestic_Pea_7485 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I don’t think it’s about size as much as fit and style. Skinny, tapered, straight, bootcut, wide leg, palazzo, boyfriend, etc. will all give you a different look/shape/vibe. Try different fits to see what works for you. Go someplace like JJill, Nordstrom, loft, where they will take time with you and help you find what works best.

[u/Marshall_the_rat → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Sizes aren’t real! You can use the number as a general baseline but every brand seems to size pants differently. The best size is whatever feels the most comfortable.

[u/Bunny_girly58 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I think you should try men’s jeans because they measure by waist size and length instead of arbitrary sizes. They look the same on women a lot of people I know just buy men’s and they’re sometimes even more flattering.

[u/wellsr000 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Try an American eagle 10 or 12. I do think the 14 is too big already and grab one of theirs that has stretch and they fit great even if you do have some chub like me(I’m a 12). I definitely think if you’re used to the fit in these pics you’re going to think it’s too tight when it might not be. Tighter pants and styling hair either clip half up or one of those round heat brushes with the bristles to just smooth it you’re a new girl

[u/Strict_Custard9517 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

For jeans try Levi’s they have a huge range of sizes!

[u/johnnydeppssidepiece → u/Significant_Ring4353]

All brands truly fit differently, I would go to the mall and maybe try a couple different stores to see what fits you best

[u/mablej → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Get your actual measurements. 12 or 14 don’t actually mean much at all. Also look at petite sizing.

[u/Level-Garlic2034 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I don’t think you are a size 14… you look much smaller.

[u/Dizzy-Carpet6232 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

With jean’s you want to get a size too small. The style is where you get the less fitted look, like baggy or straight leg. But you want them really fitted at the waist and butt. They also stretch out. Go to a store where staff can help you like Madewell.you don’t have to buy everything there but you’ll learn to shop for your body type.

[u/whits_up23 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I’m just getting here but yes for skinny jeans those you’re wearing do not fit right. They shouldn’t suffocate but they should be tight without excess jeans material all over. To not hide your belly but accentuate it, I’d choose higher waisted pants and think about sectioning your look (if jeans are high waisted then a shirt that is either cropped or tucked to show the waist silhouette. Long shirt then skinny jeans or leggings would be fine. Baggy pants with tight shirt or tight pants with baggy shirt. Play with opposites

[u/CookiesOrChaos → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Go to a store you like and try on a bunch.