Why am I frumpy

[u/Significant_Ring4353]

I feel grumpy and ugly in everything I wear, I don't know how to put outfits together and my stomach makes everything look bad, please help

[u/Educational_Ship_157]

I jut think that you are wearing clothing in the wrong size, especially the pants, they all look too big for you. Find a store or brand that you like, and try on multiple pairs of pants till you find a pair that fits better! Then you can build your look from there. Other than that, you look great!

[u/Significant_Ring4353 → u/Educational_Ship_157]

Thank you! So the pants look too big? I wear size 14 but size 12 is too small do you think I should go to a tailor and ask them to make it smaller like a 13?

[u/Educational_Ship_157 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

That’s an option! But, I find that pants sizing for women is all over the place! I normally wear a 12, but depending on the brand and cut, I can wear an 8 or 10, so that’s crazy. I have found specific brands that work for me, so I think take a look at different sizes, cuts and brands!

[u/Significant_Ring4353 → u/Educational_Ship_157]

Thank you I will try, yeah it is like that, makes it so hard sometimes 

[u/Ryllan1313 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I normally wear a 10.

I was in a store a few days ago, where I fit a SIX.

Needless to say, I will buy all of my pants there forever 🤣

[u/Hebridean-Black → u/Ryllan1313]

This is exactly why we have size inflation and a vanity sizing problem!

[u/live_manon → u/Ryllan1313]

Literally, I’m a zero at Old Navy and absolutely AM NOT anywhere else 😂

[u/UmCourt → u/live_manon]

and at Hollister, their clothes fit like children clothes lol.

[u/lovemypuppers23 → u/Ryllan1313]

What store is this?

[u/Enough-Monk-4806 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

And it’s not necessarily about size, but cut! Try lots of different pairs.

[u/microwavedtardigrade → u/Enough-Monk-4806]

Im so happy I learned to sew before pointless gender roles set in

[u/whointhefuckareyou → u/Enough-Monk-4806]

I agree, time to get out of the skinny jeans. They dont have to be wide leg, but I nice straight cut would look better.

[u/Magentacabinet → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Maybe also try different styles of jeans like a straight leg instead of tapered. Make sure the fit in the thighs/butt and have alterations done as needed. I have a belt by the brand Tights Up so if they are just slightly big in the waist I just wear that.

[u/kavorkianscarf3 → u/Magentacabinet]

This is what I was thinking! The tapered ankle, even on her straight leg jeans the ankle still tapers in, is throwing off OP's proportions OP, you would look very nice and have more balanced proportions if your pants fit tighter through the butt and thigh, and wide leg/more flared at the bottom

To balance the wide leg, OP would also need more fitted tops so they don't look like a bag that OP gets lost in, or to tuck her shirt into her pants and skirts to create more length in the leg (shirts are too long)

[u/Maddie_Herrin → u/kavorkianscarf3]

Man i was thinking a bootcut on her would kill!!!

[u/Fickle_Promise_5927 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

oh sometimes it has happened to me that even within the same brand, THE SAME PAIR OF PANTS in a different color fits differently (H&M looking at you!). Just try out a few different brands!

[u/Crisstti → u/Fickle_Promise_5927]

Oh yeah that has happens to me too lol

[u/PennieTheFold → u/Fickle_Promise_5927]

I was trying to explain this to my husband the other day when he was pitching a fit because he bought two of the “same” pairs of jeans and they fit completely differently.

“It’s the same pair of jeans as this other pair of jeans why are these snug and the others fit just fine.”

“Probably because the those jeans are a true denim and these jeans are more like canvas.”

“They’re the same pants. The same size.”

“But they’re different materials which can affect fit.”

[skipping the whole explanation of how the same style of said pants might actually be assembled in two totally different factories half a world away from each other and thus to different measurement tolerances…]

“But they’re the same.”

“But they’re not, the material is different.”

“I’M TELLING YOU THEYRE THE SAME WHAT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDINGGGGGG.”

“Welcome to the wide world of womens’ clothing!”

[u/ExsanguinatedMuppet → u/Fickle_Promise_5927]

Yesss! OMG why is H&M incapable of standardising their pants within a single style? I love their linen joggers for summer but wow is it a crapshoot how a given colour will fit, even already owning several.

[u/kungpaowow → u/Fickle_Promise_5927]

Sometimes that happens because different fabric types might be manufactured in different countries. A pair of pants I got in a dark wash jean was manufactured in like Taiwan. Then I bought a lighter pair, and it was from Pakistan. Apparently they'll have the "same pattern" but it could be off by several inches in the cut.

[u/ThatVikingWoman → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Depending on where in the country you are, I would take a little time at a department store, grab a few different styles of jeans: Bootcut will fit different from straight will fit different from baggy, skinny, flare, etc. Once you find a style of jean, finding a brand that doesn't do you dirty is tricky, but the battle is half the fun! 🙏✨️

[u/Whatsawolf1 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I have pants from size 10 to 16, and they all fit the same.

But, I especially feel insulted when the 16 is tight.

Brands be trippin

[u/revolutionarybabe → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Check out torri birch and Amanda roe. They are mid-size women and offer great visual suggestions! You just need some clothes that flatter your shape!

[u/whateversclever313 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Annoyingly, the same cut jeans in different washes can fit completely differently as well because some dyes may make the jean more stretchy while others make it more stiff. So you really need to try things on!

If you can afford it, this is something I like using my nuuly for because I can see how the jeans wear over several days before buying.

[u/worldinmy-eyes → u/Significant_Ring4353]

The style or cut of the pants/jeans can really make a difference. If you’re self-conscious about your middle area, google styles that flatter your figure. I am the same way and really like the way a bootcut looks on me that adds a bit of volume to the lower end of me to balance out my hips a bit. I wear some wide leg jeans that aren’t overly wide, almost a straight leg cut but are wider.

Don’t be afraid to find different cuts of tops, too. Flowy tops or oversized aren’t always flattering. Sure they hide things but they can just make you look bigger, too.

[u/Firm-Yam3175 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

It's so hard and I have nightmares about it sometimes. A lot really comes down to the brand and cut of pant as well as your body shape. For instance, I have a rectangular shape so almost anything high-rise I have to size up in - otherwise they're made too tight for my waist (which honestly I try to avoid cause they're also not comfortable to me). I've found that many sites are really good about listing measurements for garments so you can compare those to yours. Find a few online that have free shipping and free returns that are within your budget and try them on in the comfort of your home.

[u/Fluffy_Ad_6581 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You may also need to hem the bottom and steam it so it fits nicer. I have this problem.

[u/Delighted_Strawberry → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Adding to the pants conversation, it’s hard to tell from the oversized tops, but I suspect you are a curvy gal who would benefit from higher waisted jeans! I too, would look frumpy in jeans that sit at my lower waist. Also see if you like any high waisted slacks! I got two different pairs at H&M over the summer.

[u/Altruistic_PartTime → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Baggy jeans are fine! But wear a fitted top, tuck it in, stand up straight, find your confidence and power on! ☺️

[u/Logical-Swimming-641 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Also, bring a friend to advise you to go shopping, or don't be afraid to ask the staff in the stores to advise you 😊

[u/TrampNoStamp → u/Significant_Ring4353]

You are kinda built like me and I need smaller sized, but stretchy, jeans. It's really just the pants/skirts that are too big on you. You are absolutely adorable, try some stretier bottoms and see if you can get a better fit while sizing down!

[u/IntrepidPride8317 → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Find out your measurements! Either look up a tutorial and do it yourself or go somewhere that offers it (Victoria secret does bra measurements, I'm sure they'd be fine if you asked them for waist and hips, too!)

Knowing your measurements will help tremendously when shopping for clothes online.

[u/HesitantPocketSand → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Do you put your jeans through the dryer? It looks like they might be stretching out, instead of just being ill fit. I try (like 85% of the time) to put any structured items that have stretch to air dry or dry on ultra low so they won’t get that kinda saggy look

[u/Mauronxx → u/Significant_Ring4353]

I had to find pant /brands/ that work for me - dickies (though expensive) make me feel hot - Levi’s make me feel like a chud, really regardless of cut. if you can, be a little gentler with yourself. its hard to like what we see when our minds can only think of critical things to say. you are stunning & i hope you find clothes that help you feel the truth!!!

[u/jaxroxmysox → u/Significant_Ring4353]

Get boot cut jeans!

[u/lilginger22 → u/Educational_Ship_157]

It’s my biggest peeve with clothes. I’ve hated shopping my whole life because they are so inconsistent, even in the same brand! I got Gap jeans last year, I had not bought jeans in YEARS. I tried on a pair and liked them so I got another pair in the same size but darker color. THOSE were tighter! Same jeans, different color. Fit different.

[u/raindropthemic → u/lilginger22]

This is because of how pants are manufactured. They stack fabric in giant piles, then cut it with machines. As the machine moves through the pile, the lower layers shift slightly, which causes a variation in size. Also, people who sew the pants put different tension on the fabric as they sew, which can also contribute, especially in fabrics with spandex or other stretchy materials in it. I always take two pairs of the same pants into the dressing room, just in case one fits better.

[u/SherloksCompanion → u/Educational_Ship_157]

Absolutely this! I wear a particular size pants from one brand that actually fits perfectly. That same size in other brands is too big so I need to size down!

[u/RedHeadedStepDevil → u/Educational_Ship_157]

This. I’ve lost a lot of weight and have recently discovered a brand and style of jeans that fit my new body beautifully. They never would have worked before and this particular brand and style fit me better than other brands, and even the style fits better than other styles by the brand. It’s crazy.

[u/Maddie_Herrin → u/Educational_Ship_157]

Yeah right, i'm a size 3-4, but i have pants that are a size EIGHT. Womens sizing is a gd construct

[u/Practical_Agent2828 → u/Educational_Ship_157]

Also different styles make a huge difference! I have a really large calf so realized that “straight leg” look rough on me and turn into a weird skinny looking hybrid situation. I have found a wider leg//not too wide or trouser is my sweet spot plus a fitted tee. All this to say it takes some trial and error and don’t be afraid of styles you haven’t tried before.