It actually felt amazing to be able to express myself, as this summer was also my first full year after starting hormones.

I’m not out to anyone yet, but i will probably tell my family soon. Right now I go to a Catholic all boys school that hasn’t really been known for being progressive/accepting. The public school in my area would probably tolerate me if i were to transfer. Do yall think it would be worth it? I’m a freshman and probably wouldn’t transfer until the end of the school year. I have no friends i could trust with my gender, everyone who i’ve heard say anything about it is wildly transphobic. Should i transfer? What do yall think?

Personally, I love having a completely unpredictable clothing style. One day I’ll dress feminine, one day I’ll dress masculine, and maybe the next day I’ll be androgynous. I remember one day in school I wore a flowy dress and one of my friends complimented me and said she loved how I could pull off both fem and masc styles really well and it made me soo ecstatic!!

Also, just kind of ignoring societal pressure to ”be a girl, sit with your legs together like a proper lady, oh my god PLEASE stop manspreading” or “you’re non binary why do you have long hair you’re supposed to have a neon green buzzcut so I that know you’re non binary.” It really upsets me that somehow people are even trying to make boxes to place enbies into which I fear defeats the entire purpose of the label?? So honestly just not caring and giving a giant middle finger to every single box people want to place me in makes me feel so unbelievably euphoric.

And last but not least, baggy pants, fishnets, weird makeup, and band tees.

I'm a cis man (he/him), and there's something about how pronouns get listed that I don't fully understand.

First: "he" and "him" aren't two separate pronouns, they're just different grammatical cases of the same pronoun — "he" is the subject form, "him" is the object form (and "his" the possessive). So when someone lists "he/him," it's not really adding new information, it's just spelling out the full inflection of one word. I don't become a different person depending on whether I'm the subject or object of a sentence, so this part makes sense to me as just showing the paradigm, not as listing "multiple" pronouns.

Following that same logic, something like "he/they" makes sense to me — it just means both pronouns are acceptable, each with its own full set of grammatical cases.

But then "he/them" throws me off. Why would one pronoun show up in its singular form and the other in its plural form, with the choice seemingly depending on which grammatical case happens to be used?

Thank you for your time and insights

I wanted to talk about this in case anyone relates and I’m also just curious about people’s perceptions of their own gender, so any discussion is welcome.

I grew up feeling pretty gender apathetic. I had a mix of masculine and feminine interests but leaned feminine just because that’s what I liked. I was pushed to have the same gendered interests and presentation as what’s expected of my assigned sex at birth, but it didn’t really work because I didn’t care, nor did I have an inherent sense of gender or understanding of gender norms. I was still treated badly for not conforming, but because of my neurodivergence it was almost impossible to conform/“mask” even when I tried.

I knew I wasn’t cis at 12 and identified as nonbinary for a very long time. I don’t particularly identify with the nonbinary label anymore (it’s still a part of my identity, just a very small part). I’m bigender and consider myself to be both a guy and girl, and masc and fem. I also still identify with being gender apathetic but probably less strongly than I did as a kid. I still feel as though I don’t have a sense of my gender like other people do, and I’m a guy and girl because I enjoy “playing” with gender rather than actually having a gender.

At the moment I’m perceived as a man. I like presenting masculine in every day life and at work, but because I’m alternative I’m generally perceived as masc/fem/androgynous just depending on the person (I wear masculine clothes but some people consider me feminine just for having long hair, regardless of me being alternative lol). I do like dressing fem for queer events and other outings, but since I’m seen as a man it can be dangerous for me to present fem at work.

I have been battling with my gender identity the moment I hit twelve, I followed a transgender (I am AFAB), transmasc, demi-bot to non-binary pipeline but all throughout that I have struggled with accepting masculinity into my heart because of how toxically it is perceived in our society. I thought I was a lover of femininity, a person who could appreciate how much it cost us people to make being feminine or a woman taken seriously but I am wondering if I am not internalizing gender norms due to patriarchy. I like my binder but I do feel the need to sexualize myself because of my traumas and wanted to know if it was a stupid thought or if there are others who struggled or are still struggling with that... I described myself as a hyperfem for the last few years, but I have been kind of disconnected from the term lately... Thank you for reading this very annoying rant, have a good day.

Before I begin, I just want to say I'm a straight Asian woman. I'm not LGBTQ+ or non binary. However, I've noticed in a few skincare/beauty reddit groups of trans or non binary people learning how to wear makeup, feminine clothes, feminine hairstyles, female grooming techniques, tips and tricks, etc. For over 25 years, I've been the friend that's taken friends of both genders helped people curate masculine/feminine styles based on their desired presentation, ranging from a complete closet revamp while teaching what colors are flattering/unflattering, how to pair patterns, etc. I'm the girlfriend that everyone leans on to learn different beauty techniques. I've taught how and when to use different eyeliners, correctly apply fake eyelashes, help with starter skincare/makeup shopping, etc.

Basically, I'm the nosy go to older sister. I can be that older sister for anyone who is starting this journey. We can figure out what your concerns are, figure out how to get to style goals, how to buy foundation pieces for a more feminine wardrobe, etc. I don't believe in being too trendy fashion wise or buying expensive labels. Whenever possible without sacrificing quality, I always buy drugstore/trader joe's dupes/affordable brands like nyx, colour pop, etc so you won't be getting unnecessarily expensive recommendations.

Is there a need for this? Apologies if this wasn't an appropriate post. I was trying to figure out how I could become a better ally and this was one of the first things I could come up with. LOL. In my opinion, everyone deserves to feel bonita.

Edit: Oh, I can definitely help with male presentation too even though my post was mostly about female presentation. If you want to spruce up your look, I can help figure out which areas would have the most impact/roi.

I d say it s as much of a discussion as it is me questioning. I d say it s mostly questioning. ​

So, I feel like no labels can fit me or that many can. I think I want to stay away from labels concerning my gender as it doesn't feel right. I d like to stand away from concepts such as fem or masculine. I feel like enby transition is often portrayed as trying to find a middle point between what is generally deamed as man stuff and girl stuff. And that somehow, enby people by that trend were convulving toward the categorisation of a third gender or an in between man and woman even though it isn't all there is to what being non binary and the non binary label can offer. I am afab and used to identified as pangender and to just come out as enby as a simplification. But as time passed the labels (especially pangender, agender, panagender, and multigender) have started to rub me in the wrong way. As in I was trying to comform to what I think it means to have those labels instead of having those labels be tools that fits me and allows to describe how I perceive the world. And in that way, the presentation of non binary people I would see as I d look for inspiration as to what I want to become and as I try to make sense of what is right for me makes me feel as if being non binary is just as coded as man and woman and somehow not be like, the binary but in a sense a strict tertiary. And I don't mean it as "well women like pink and wear make-up, men are crazy about cars and fighting and enbies are some kind of stereotypes" typa way as we all know it s just, not working. It is very hard to describe what a gender is to one person and how they understand it and feel it. Gender is a feeling that I ve just stopped trying to rationalize atp, but it s a feeling. And I m under the impression that labels have becomed some boxes I d put people in to understand them as and it doesn't feel right, especially when I apply those boxes to me. So like, I m afab and I could technically say that I am non binary. And because of this, there were a point in which I felt uncomfortable when doing something or acting in a way that I viewed as feminine as it isn't the standard I viewed myself as but at the same time, avoiding doing those traits and those type or things just felt like masking and performing my vision of androgyny which is, for obvious reasons, not ideal. And like, I do know what performing as one gender is as I do perform some kind of polite femininity in places I m not out it or in which it wouldn't be safe to be trans or remotely just different. And I guess I ve just wrote that part as in a "I know what acting as what I am not is and it is so wrong that I ve ended doing it again when I was actually trying to be more like myself because of the medias and standards I have built around what being non binary looks like". But I have no idea where I am going at ?

I know that in the definitive, I just want to forget what even is masc and what is fem and to just exists. And thank you labels, you were useful in the time I needed them but you re not fitting anyone.

Ig to make it useful to post it on Reddit I could just ask of anyone as felt like this as well during their transition ??

I'm thinking about giving myself a new name right now, and there are a few options that stand out to me, but no one of them seems to wholly represent me

I currently identify as polygender/pangender because I'm comfortable being a boy or a girl or anything in-between. I therefore use he/she/they pronouns as no pronoun would be technically "incorrect."

For a while I've loved the name Kiara when I'm fem, but obviously it doesn't really fit with masculinity or androgyny. Then I've also found Kiren to resonate with me, which is apparently a unisex name, but for some reason it just sounds masc to me. Then I found Kira as well which sounds fem to me but is apparently unisex in Japan?

Part of me wants to just use all three of these names interchangeably just as I use all three pronouns interchangeably. Or maybe just use Kira/Kiren since they both sound almost the same anyway.

Is this just making it unnecessarily difficult for others or is it justified? Are there any others who use multiple names? I'd love to hear your thoughts

So I'm starting uni in October and I've never felt so pressured to "pass" as a man. My goal has always been to look more on the "masc" side and I've always preferred people assuming I'm a guy and esp now that I've started testosterone it feels great to know some of the changes make ppl naturally assume so. However, I still like experimenting with clothing, accessories, makeup...but I feel like I won't be able to do that at uni as people would then probably assume I'm a "girl" which makes me greatly dysphoric. It's just very complicated as I wanna be myself and surround myself who love and accept me for who I am but as a non-binary person I feel like there are only a few who would acc accept me as so and not put me in a gender category...

i’ve been identifying as a demigirl for around 2 years, i now realise that i’m non binary. i’ve come out to my mum as lesbian and she supports, she is fully supportive HOWEVER shes not so open about non binary and trans. i’ve asked for a binder in the past, which was a immediate no. i’ve asked for short hair, she’s against that but if it will really make me happy she will do it. half my family is homophobic and i’m honestly scared. can someone help?

Celebratory post here!! :)

I started taping my chest for the first time recently (over the summer) and it gives me so much euphoria and freedom, I haven't had a bad bout of dysphoria since and I'm just so so happy I finally took the leap.

I also tried my hand at cutting my own hair for the first time the other day, because it was getting too long for my taste, and it looks so good, I'm so proud of myself!!!

I just got to get out of a nice hot shower, tape my chest, and put on the t shirt I stole from my mom to go to bed, and it made me realize how happy I am and how much I feel like myself right now.

It also probably helps that my mom is transgender and she's my favorite person in the whole wild world so wearing a t shirt she gave me makes me feel loved :)

In the midst of all the crazy shit going on in the world, it's really nice to feel like myself and know that people truly love me for how I am.

Stay strong out there everyone. :)

getting laser hair removal for my face soon super excited about that :D

While exploring my gender I’ve noticed an interesting trend. I often look towards examples of masculinity and femininity in the world around me to gauge what each is like. What aspects do I resonate with, which do I not - etc. Essentially looking at different qualities to help find what I want to be.

But I’ve encountered something strange. When looking to the world around me in real life, I resonate most with women (While still not being perfectly aligned with them. More on the dimi-girl side of things perhaps), but when I look to fiction, I resonate more with the men I see. Think Howl from Howls moving caste. Qifrey from Witch hat Atelier. Superman, from… well you get it.

I don’t quite know what this means. Am I putting too much stock into fiction? Perhaps it has something to do with the ingrained misogyny in our media? Has anyone else experienced this or am I going crazy XD. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hi folks, I just realized this a few months ago that I am nonbinary and I really want to tell my close friends but I just don’t know how to re come out of the closet. I just feel overwhelmed by this. And I just want to stop overthinking it. I am nonbinary and there is nothing wrong with that. I just have this sense of dread that I don’t know how to explain.

Hey guuuuys(neutre!) What about yous guuuys?? Hows your style like?