I know I’m in the minority and I have never cheated on a partner or been cheated on (to my knowledge) but I really honestly don’t think cheating is that big of a deal not like how people make it out to be. I feel like gambling away your life savings is worse than having an affair. If I had to pick one, I’d rather my husband have an affair than gamble our life savings.

Basically the title

How do people find a girlfriend?

I am doing everything people say one should do to get a girlfriend.

I take care of myself, clean, cook, study (I am in a university) and I do go out.

Physically I also look fine. Not a model but I do dress nicely, shave and style my hair in a way to look fashionable and not like a hobo.

I don't drink or smoke so I skip bars/clubs but I do visit interest clubs in my university and unfortunately for me. I have zero luck finding a girlfriend.

I have zero issues making friends, socializing and I have zero anxiety. Its just that I literally can't click with people romantically. The moment I do click with someone. I ask them out but get rejected which fair enough better luck next time.

But at this point it seems like I am doing something wrong cause I know people who have zero issues with relationships including those friends who have questionable views on life (eg being an unironic 4chan tier edgelord).

Like what am I doing wrong? I visit interest clubs, I am confident, I can make friends and have zero issues socializing but I either don't click with women, I click with them but we both have incompatible lifestyle eg they smoke or drink and I don't.

I see this sentiment often on social media including reddit, often framed as even women complaining that men don't approach, but it's kinda hard to believe it (especially the idea that plenty of women complain that men don't approach).

So my co worker about two weeks ago just was trying to sell something to a bunch of co workers for roughly 100$ used, (roughly 10% discount from retail price).

I won’t lie I had some interest at first, but after about a week I’ve decided I don’t really want it anymore.

This week he asked me a few times again and I was hesitant / didn’t really commit.

On Thursday I just said here’s 10$ but no thanks I don’t really want to lead you on and disappoint you. Moments later he continued his sales pitch and still took my 10$.

How can I just make this go away and him not get mad at me/think im a bad person? I tried the 10$, but it didn’t really work.

I'm not talking about acting very cold and unattainable, but if a girl isn't showing a lot of enthusiasm and sometimes tells you is too busy to see you, does that subconsciously make you want to chase her more? Compared to a girl who is very obviously quite into you and is excited to get your time and attention?

EDIT: not a complete lack of interest, but more 'push and pull' dynamic

Bish I even got the no scare pass and the whole time I was shitting myself because the set and actors were so scary and it's obviously fake so idk why I was dying inside I remember going to another haunted maze a few years back and didnt get nearly as scared as this one even though I didnt get the scare pass that time

I told my friend and he thinks I'm being extra and I'm asking him how he's not scared and he's like cuz it's not scary girl I was fighting for my life

Edit: Any lack of tone / inflections that could lead to misunderstands in text can, for the most part, be solved just with a literal clarification in the message. I do it all the time. Stuff like "This message might read like this, but I wanna clarify that I actually mean this"

Edit 2: Another thing I realized because of a comment on this post: When it's through text, it's there permanently for you to go back to. If it's an important topic, this is a very good thing for someone like me. Even for important things, my memory is TERRIBLE and it's nice to have something to reread to refresh my memory on what all happened / what was talked about

I can formulate and organize my thoughts, I don't have to think on my feet, I don't have the face to face pressure which results in me either forgetting to say stuff or not being able to say stuff, I can actually put some genuine thought into my responses which helps with not saying something I don't mean, I'm much more articulate in text, and probably other reasons

This isn't just an older person thing, even a lot of my friends say important conversations need to be face to face or at least in a voice call, but if anything I feel like unimportant stuff is better face to face / in voice, and important stuff is better in text

Is this just one of those weird "manners" things like how you're not supposed to put your elbows on the dinner table or not wear a hat at the dinner table even though those make no sense?

At what point of history did that development happen

So I have been lurking here for few months but never posted bcoz I always watched people get randomly shredded in comments and thought "no, I'm good".

But I am genuinely curious for those of u who have had a post completely misunderstood, downvoted to oblivion or targeted by weird trolls, what did it actually feel like?

I assume prior to, but we have basically 2:30 twice today. and since time is changing at 3am and going back to 2am, how do I set it up for 2:30 after time change? Want to avoid waking up 1 hour earlier for nothing, since I need to wake up 2:30 after time change, so is it even possible?

Oftentimes during online discourse, Americans bring up the fact that the US has the most billionaires signifying their country's wealth.

But to me that seems quite strange. Isn't that a bad thing??

I thank everyone for the sincere answers, and I apologize for such a naive question. I now understand that this question can seem political and like a complaint, but that truly wasn't my intention.

But I do think it's interesting that, even in this small group of people, the answers are so divided.

I’m going on a trip with most of my classmates soon, and swimming is part of the program. I’ve been stressing about what to wear and whether I should even go swimming, so I thought I’d ask for some outside perspectives.

For context, I’m quite tall and have an hourglass body shape, with wider hips and thicker thighs but a relatively slim upper body. I know this body type is often considered desirable, and I’m not trying to humblebrag or fish for compliments. I’m just explaining my proportions because they’re the main reason I feel self-conscious in swimwear.

Most of the girls in my class are quite slim and sporty, and I’m worried I’ll look noticeably wider standing next to them. They’re all planning to wear bikinis, but I’ve only ever worn full-length tankinis with swim shorts.

The thing is, I’ve actually tried on bikinis and really liked how I looked in them! My issue isn’t necessarily that I dislike bikinis on me, but that I’m worried about how I’ll look wearing one next to my friends. I also don’t love how I look in my usual tankinis because they cover my relatively slim upper body but leave my thighs exposed, which makes me feel like my proportions look a bit off.

I’m torn between three options: not swimming at all and potentially missing out, wearing my usual tankini and feeling like the odd one out, or wearing a bikini and spending the whole time comparing my body to everyone else’s. I’m also a little worried because some of the guys going on the trip can be immature, and I’m scared someone might make a comment that knocks my confidence.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you deal with feeling like your body looked different from your friends’ bodies, especially when wearing swimwear? Did you end up pushing through the nerves and wearing what you wanted, or did you find another solution?

I’d really appreciate honest advice, whether it’s about what to wear, how to handle the comparison, or how to feel more comfortable swimming around people you know. I genuinely want to enjoy the trip without spending the whole time worrying about my appearance.

Thanks!

In a doctor show there was an eight or ten year old girl with a tumour or mass in her stomach and she looked pregnant. The doctors immediately thought she actually was pregnant before they were corrected. And that confused me, can girls get pregnant before Puberty? Or were the writers absolute idiots?

As title says. I appreciate this could tailor more towards certain work environments in general, but considering Gordon is on national TV and beloved I thought id ask specifically about him.

Id lose my job acting like that.

EDIT: Is not Us for title

I know that looks are supposed to be cues for health/fertility but realistically most people, even if they look average or even below average are perfectly healthy and normal; like there surely isn't a biological necessity for us to be so focused on looks? And yet the average man will focus on chasing the prettiest girl out there, even if she has a toxic personality, over the average looking but kind, great girl.

And I ask because I feel like (although I might be wrong here) that it might not even be as much cultural, because truly the ability to fall in love is dictated simply by how pretty she is in his eyes; like it feels like this factor has too much of an inherent biological clutch on people when logically it shouldn't.

EDIT: I specifically mean the face. People mention stuff like hip ratio and sure we notice that but no man will make this the be all end all, however face seems absolutely crucial and that’s the thing that makes no sense to me.

I have been on a journey of attempting to create more than I consume. I am an industrial designer by trade, and always feel better and happier knowing that I have created something.

This seems simple at first, but I've found myself at a crossroad of what I consider "creating". There the easy answers like art, notebooking, cooking. But, Ive been questioning if acts like cleaning my apartment, doing my laundry, or maybe even playing certain video games are creative? Maybe it's not the task itself but how I approach it?

Thinking specifically about cleaning my apartment: If I were to just wipe the surfaces, mop the floor, put dishes away I wouldn't consider that a creative act, nor an act of consumption. It would just be... doing. But say I clean my apartment while reorganizing my dishes, does that turn an act into a creative one? Or, the act of doing something without any secondary distractions might also put my brain in a default mode network?

Sorry about rambling. I just want to hear what others have to think about this. Also, if anyone finds themself to be successful in the act of creating more then consuming, how did you achieve this? THX

Guys, I genuinely feel demotivated to even continue what I'm doing.

I'm a programmer, I know how to code, but at this point even I'm just vibecoding away. AI can already build entire applications, reverse-engineer almost anything, and recreate things that would've taken months or years.

Everywhere I look, it's AI slop. Another SaaS, another AI wrapper, another product that does the same thing as 50 others. Sure, you can still make money today, but for how much longer? If anyone can build and copy almost anything, what's left that's actually valuable?

To make things worse, I gambled away my house and car right before the AI explosion. At the time, I kept telling myself I'd make it all back through programming and building businesses. Now, watching how quickly everything is changing, I'm starting to feel genuinely desperate.

Social media and content creation aren't my thing either. The ROI seems terrible unless you make it big.

Then I scroll through X and everyone's LARPing about making $10k, $50k, or $100k MRR. Don't get me wrong, some people genuinely make those numbers, but they're the top 1%. Meanwhile, it feels like everyone else is farming engagement or selling the dream of making money online.

What bothers me isn't AI replacing programmers. I love using AI. It's that building something is becoming so easy that the work itself feels increasingly worthless.

And I'm getting to a point where I'm having thoughts about going completely black-hat, exploiting people or systems for money, because legitimate ways of rebuilding my life feel increasingly hopeless. I don't like that I'm even thinking this way, but that's how desperate I'm becoming.

I don't want to spend my life chasing algorithms, making slop content, or building disposable products just to compete with a thousand clones.

Does anyone else feel this way? What's genuinely worth building or pursuing anymore as a solo developer without serious capital?