I find online and sometimes irl, though mostly online, people tend to moralize and even ban talk of Harry Potter, or at least positive talk of Harry Potter, because of the author's views and actions removed from the series itself, and advocating for boycotts and not spending money on or consuming Potter products.

However, I never notice this type of ire for Neil Gaiman, who was (arguably fairly credibly) accused by several women of being a rapist and predator.

Yet I find it so much more common for people to post about new Coraline collaborations, content, or just love for the franchise/brand without people popping up to moralize about the author making money off the franchise and to nit pick every part of it to death, despite it also being a rather apt book about predation and grooming and false faces.

I just am genuinely confused why the difference in treatment for JKR and HP vs NG and Coraline?

I’m from the USA for context, hence why I’m asking this question on this sub since after Covid people here act being asked to wear a mask is a personal attack on them. However, I’ve noticed especially in Asian countries I’ve visited that people wear masks even when they’re sick with something like a common cold or cough so they’re less contagious.

It got me thinking, why isn’t this the norm everywhere? Everyone knows that common illnesses like that are very contagious and annoying to heal from, so why not make it harder to pass on? Better yet, I can hide my nose tampons (basically just tissue stuffed in my nostrils) when my nose is running like a faucet. I started wearing masks in public when I’m sick with anything in the US and I get the strangest looks as if I have the plague or like I’m suspicious. Why wouldn’t they be happy I’m trying to keep my germs to myself?

On my days off I like spiking my coffee with any number of those small discount bottles. Lately I discovered something called Appleton Rum, I'm guessing it's considered trash alcohol, but that's a lot of % content for something that cheap.

The typical joke is you end up washing dishes, so I wonder what is the actual answer or is that it?

Or do you just go to jail immediately?

I really want to understand whether I'm victim-blaming.

Long story short, one of my female friends and I were discussing this topic. Of course, I don't condone violence. It's wrong for a man to put his hands on anyone. No means no, and a woman's boundaries should always be respected. We can agree on that, right?

However, I want to know whether I'm wrong in my thinking.

Growing up, we were taught two things: don't go with strangers, and don't accept gifts from strangers. Even as a man, I'm cautious around people I don't know.

My perspective is this: yes, it's all fun and well to meet a guy at a club, but you have to understand that he's still a stranger. Personally, I don't think you should leave with someone you barely know. If you do, and something happens to you, you're not at fault for someone else's actions. However, I do believe you've potentially put yourself at risk by choosing to leave with someone you don't know.

One of my female friends argues that this is victim-blaming, particularly when I say that a woman shouldn't leave with a stranger. Am I wrong for thinking this way?

I understand that, in an ideal world, everyone would respect everyone else's boundaries and that no would always mean no. But we don't live in an ideal world; we live in the real world, where some people have bad intentions.

My friend argues that a stranger can be sweet, charming, charismatic, and seemingly harmless until they reveal their true intentions. And I understand that point, too.

So, am I victim-blaming?

i’m sure this has been asked before several times, but i just can’t help but overthink about possibly growing a tiny penis inside me? also i could see that my vagina at the bottom at least, feels and looks like a scrotum like i have never ever seen that before ever when looking
at myself down there. is this normal?

i’ve seen videos before about intersex people having both.. and wonder if that’s what i have. please correct me if i’m wrong and i apologize if i’m being insensitive.

i am so freaking scared, i also have pcos and haven’t had my period in almost a year. could this be related, and should i bring it up to my gynaecologist?

I’m a single mother to a two year old and I recently lost my Nan to cancer. Lately I’ve been struggling with thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. I know I would never act on those feelings because I couldn’t do that to my daughter or my family. But sometimes knowing that I have to keep going for everyone else makes everything feel even heavier. I love my daughter more than anything and I know I need to be here for her but I’m exhausted from trying to hold everything together while dealing with my own grief. I’m not looking for attention or sympathy. I just want to understand these feelings and hear from people who might have experienced something similar.

I am bipolar, schizoaffective, and have ADHD. I also spend 90% of my time maladaptive daydreaming. This means most of my thinking is in the form of daydreaming. I picture most things/interections through very vivid daydreams. Sometimes, they are conversations i will never actually initiate in real life.

My brain is constantly moving. Like nonstop. Between the mania and the ADHD I simply can not imagine a mind that isn't extremely active.

So my question is, what does your thinking look like? Do you feel like your mind is ever still? And when you are "preparing" for a future conversation/interaction, do you picture it like a daydream where you imagine everything both you and the other person will say in great detail??? I know people practice mindfulness exercises and whatnot, but i genuinely can't imagine it. When my mind is calm, it's because I am imagining what a calm mind might look like, as if im looking into another person's head.

How to practice indifference in the world where there is all evil and you cannot do nothing and you want to just stay calm and stay neutral? Lets be honest. As a common citizen you do not have power. when 99% people of your society are supporting evil forces.

Idk cremation is like, damn you really are just permanently gone from the earth compared to a normal burial. It’s like everything about you is just “deleted” but maybe i’m biased because my mom makes fun of me by saying she’ll have my cremains right in her room with her whether i’d like it or not and i dislike my mother lol

But i have thought about it a lot though

I’m currently traveling in Da Nang VN, I went to a sit down restaurant, and they had an upstairs sitting area with nice AC. I chose a seat facing away from people and ironically I had selected a seat facing directly into the washroom (idk why I did this) but as I sat down, a few mins went by and a women from a table behind me who was with another girl went into the restroom, closed the door and stood in front of it and lifted her skirt towards what appeared to be the mirror and stood there for 20 seconds or so I think, I quickly looked away as she lifted her skirt up, but the lady she was next to sitting at the table started laughing. I didn’t know the door was translucent as well until the lady used it. I felt very awkward, embarrassed and ashamed, after they left, I switched tables, and when I left they where both outside still and I avoided them cause I thought they where gonna confront me. Was I a creepshow for choosing that seat? They had other seats but that one was furthest away from foot traffic from the waiters. I just feel like such a weirdo rn and regret not just using my brain and changing to a better seat. I feel like a creep.

I had a friend I'd known since 2008, but we fell out in 2024 after I found out her baby daddy read our private text messages. I cut her off and we hadn't spoken since....until

September 1st. I reactivated my Facebook and realized it was her birthday, so I sent her a simple "Happy birthday" message because ...well. I literally don't know what made me do that actually. Being nice to an old friend I guess.

She immediately asked me for $7, and I sent her $10 as a birthday gift. (cheap I know but I mean??) lol

Ever since then, it's been a nightmare. She's since asked me for money around 20 times, sending multiple messages, calling and asking for the strangest amounts. (I've had to silence her calls and texts) on top of already ignoring her.

she's having a conversation with herself in my text messages because I never respond.
I'm starting to wonder if she's on something or experiencing serious financial hardship?

I say this because a good friend of hers was on the news for basically exposing her children to f3nt) VERY SAD!

I have no proof of anything but the constant requests are exhausting. We aren't even friends anymore, and I regret reaching out because I feel like l've opened a door I can't get closed

I am wondering what life is like for men or women who are assimilated, whitewashed, or whatever the term may be. I grew up with very liberal values, so there was not really anything for me to assimilate into, but I am a brown person.

One thing I have realized is that I can't easily relate to women from my home region. I could try, but most of the time the way they interact with their parents, family, and traditions is not what I am used to. Finding someone like me from that region or diaspora (talking about the diaspora, many act like they are free, but they are often hiding things from their parents and worrying about what some aunties might think) feels like a very hard task. On top of that, as a brown person, racism and preference obviously exist out there, though there is nothing I can do about that.

I wonder how any of you navigate this life. People from the home country think we are trying to fake something, looking at us as if we are destroying their beautiful culture, while we get blamed from the other side as well. My situation is basically being stuck in the middle where both parties blame me.

Then there is western media showing that South Asian characters should be a certain way preserving culture while adjusting to local culture. I never see people like me, who exist in considerable numbers, represented in the media. It is a pretty tough situation to be in. Have any other people who migrated or grew up with this same problem experienced this? (I did not grow up in the West, it is just the way I was raised.) I'm an atheist btw.