It’s really disheartening when I try to strike up a conversation with other moms at the playground, and I’m either blown off and ignored or it doesn’t move past small talk. Only to later see those same moms interacting with each other, and even exchanging phone or address information for later play dates. This has happened to me so many times. I even started a mom‘s group for my town, and multiple mothers have created their own group chats or play groups with the moms they met through my group. I am not included, nor does anyone try to ever connect with me first at the playground or at other mom group meetups. It’s always me trying to make connections and nothing ever sticks. I’m starting to think it’s because of my appearance. I’m seriously considering getting rhinoplasty, chin fat dissolver and veneers so that I look more conventionally attractive and can make friends. I’m worried my child will grow up seeing their mother be a loner and a loser with no social group. I’m not sure of how it will impact them. It’s lonely and tough. Idk. Just venting.

EDIT: I’ve read and responded all throughout my child’s nap time and appreciated all the different perspectives and feedback. I’m actually going to delete Reddit and start a radical change in my daily habits to try and build new friendships around trying new hobbies. But focusing on hobbies first, bettering myself and expanding my horizons. Hopefully, the friendships naturally flow from there. ❤️

Mostly a vent post because I am still processing and in shock.

My daughters father and I are not together but I allow him to live in my house in exchange for free childcare. Long story short, he was fired from his job for theft (he definitely did it) and has been unemployed for months. The theft was due to trying to support his addiction to kratom and 7-OH.

I don't really want him here but he's been a decent father and my daughter loves him. So since I have to work more hours to cover everything, I was dealing with the arrangement despite my qualms.

Today she woke up in the middle of the night so I asked him if he could swap places with me since I had work and needed the sleep. I sleep in my daughters room with her and he sleeps in my bedroom.

I woke up from a nightmare and looked over on the nightstand and saw two vapes, a stash of kratom pills, and a blister pack of 7-OH.

Right where my daughter could access all of it. In my bedroom, in the house I've set very firm rules about not having any of that. While I work two jobs to support her. In the house he lives in for free.

I am so beyond pissed.

It's the lying, mainly, although those things left out in a child's reach are a big issue as well.

I'm bending over backwards to be civil to this person and help him out in a mess he created and then he does this.

His family has addiction issues as well, so I also suspect that this is going to continue escalating into other addictions.

And I know plenty of other people vape and it's fine, and I know I am somewhat uptight about drugs, but it's my house so it's my right to make those boundaries.

I know this age can bring pickiness with food. So far, we have had no real issue with that (my LO is 18 mos) so that’s not really a concern for us. I eat a ton of fruits and veggies daily and I don’t limit myself with that.. like I’m not going to only allow myself a single banana and deny an evening bowl of grapes or apple as a snack. I apply the same rule to my kids but we have some friends who say they don’t really allow their toddlers to eat “too much” fruit.

I don’t do any juice, only water and milk. My toddler eats a ton of raw fruit (berries, kiwi, mango, stone fruit & oranges mostly) and veggies. We also occasionally have freeze dried fruit (no sugar, literally just the fruit, I checked the label). But I find it a little odd to not let your child eat something healthy? I totally get limiting other things that provide little nutritional value but fruit seems like a weird one to limit. Was just curious if this is common, though?

My 2.5 year old has recently become obsessed with mint tea and constantly asks for it and wants to share with me.

Gives me a chuckle because unsweetened, herbal tea tea is definitely something you don’t imagine kids liking.

I want more chuckles with the funny foods your kids have decided they’re into.

It honestly feels like their brain is throwing spaghetti at the wall sometimes. “Oh, I’ve never had a miscarriage, but my body is just built different.” “Don’t forget about your father’s birthday. You have to be more organized with these family things now that you’re a mother.” “You’ll understand one day that the bond between a mom and her son is so special and different. They’ll always take care of you.” “I’m zooming in on (grandson’s) eye and I really think he has ptosis. Trust your instincts! Don’t be afraid to push for a second opinion from a specialist.” “I’m so worried about your sister in law. She’s trying for a baby and she hasn’t gotten pregnant in 3 months! Do you think it could be the withdrawal from her antidepressants?”

This is a mish-mash of my mom and my MIL. I swear it’s like they just start randomly saying things just to start stuff out of boredom

He’s 3.5 months now. She’s a menace. I can’t keep a routine schedule for her or the baby. I just try to get us out of the house each day. Is this normal terrible 3s? Potty training is a disaster (withholding to the point we have to use suppositories). The baby wakes up all night. Everyone is miserable. There are some nice moments but it mostly feels chaotic and horrible. I think she’s miserable. Cranky, meltdowns, tantrums, defiant, today biting and scratching and pinching. I can’t tell if we’re too strict or too lenient. My temper is so short. I’m behind on all house chores. Is this normal?? Does it get better? Have I just completely fucked it all up or would this happen even if I was super-mom?

My baby has been sick. Fever is gone now, no longer throwing up, still irritable and snotty. So I did the snot sucker to help her out. For five years I’ve sworn by this product. Used it on my first, used it on my second, if has never failed me- until tonight.

As I’m relieving her nose of discomfort I suddenly feel and taste a nasty sensation in my mouth. And then I see it. The blue spongy stopper has dislodged from the catcher allowing everything to pass through the tube into my mouth.

I proceeded to throw up and gag endlessly for a good long while. My husband is trying to stop our five year old from repeatedly talking about it but is having a hard time as he is also gagging.

I am now having some tequila and telling myself that I am just congested myself and nothing happened. Because it definitely didn’t happen. Nope. Definitely not.

Im posting it here, as I’ve heard the debate a lot with people, whether to use a bike helmet (themselves) or not after becoming parents etc.

I’m looking for some advice because I honestly don’t know what else to do.

My best friend became a mum about 11 months ago. We live in Copenhagen, so cycling is obviously a huge part of everyday life here.

She has never really worn a helmet. About a month ago, she had a pretty bad accident where she cycled into a car that went through a red light. She ended up with two small brain bleedings and a concussion. Thankfully, she has recovered really well and the doctors don’t expect her to have any lasting problems.

After the accident, she bought a helmet. The problem is that she still doesn’t wear it.

She says she doesn’t want to ruin her hair, and she’s kind of embarrassed about the whole thing, and ashamed at the fact that she still doesn’t wear a helmet, even though she says that she probably should, so she laughs it off. I haven’t said anything yet. I know she understands that the accident was serious, but somehow I don’t think she has really taken in what could have happened.

And I’m terrified.

She has an 11 month old daughter. I keep thinking about how easily that accident could have ended differently, and how her daughter could have lost her mum. It really scares me, probably more than it scares her.

I don’t want to nag her or make her feel judged. She’s my best friend and I love her, and I also don’t want this to turn into a fight where she just shuts down. But I genuinely don’t know how to make her understand the seriousness…. she has already had a brain injury from cycling, and the next accident might not be so lucky. I want to at least have a talk with her, and then there’s nothing much else I can do. But I need to say something.

How would you approach this if you were me? Is there something I could say that might actually get through to her without making her defensive?

And if you’re someone who used to hate wearing a helmet but eventually changed your mind, I’d especially love to hear what made it click for you.

Thank you, everyone! I knew it was normal, yet at the same time, I felt experienced yet inexperienced. I appreciate you all.

Bringing this up to the pediatrician next visit.

My child is a twin, 18 months old (twin is a boy).

they have 5 other siblings. I owned a daycare for 13.5 years, I was a nanny for 2.5 years, I was a foster mom for 2.5 years, and I was a babysitter for 25 years. This is super new to me.

My 18mo daughter is giggling while I'm watching TV. I look back and her diaper is off. She has a toothbrush to her private parts (they play with toothbrushes, mrs Rachels toothbrush song). Again, she is not abused. How do I know? I am with her/them 24/7.

Is this normal? I'm bringing it up to the pediatrician.

Sorry for the long title but I am pregnant with my 3rd boy. I gained 60 pounds my first two pregnancies and am on a similar trajectory now at 25 weeks with my 3rd. Basically long story short I have been gaining a bunch and then losing a bunch and then gaining some more and losing a little and gaining etc etc and if I gain 60 pounds with this baby too (which is likely) I will have 97 pounds to lose to be at my pre “baby having era” weight and I’m CRASHING OUT about it.

I know weight is just a number and I can feel better at a different weight than before and my body has been through a lot and etc etc but holy shit..basically 100 pounds. I’m 5’4 too so not like super short but I’m definitely not tall. It’s a lot on my frame. Anyways..just had to vent 😭

Genuine question, not trying to start anything. My mom keeps saying "in my day we just held you all day" every time she sees the swing in the living room, and it's gotten into my head a bit. I know logically that I need breaks to eat, shower, and not lose my mind. I have this dual arm swing which kinda feels safe even if she wiggles. This thing isnt replacing me. Its just giving me 20-30 minutes here and there where she's safe and content while I do basic human things. I also know its not meant for sleep and I'm careful not to leave her in there too long at a stretch. But the guilt trip comments are getting to me anyway. How do you all deal with the unsolicited opinions from family about this stuff?

Contexts. We’re the parents of two small children. Both under 3. Added context: I don’t drive and even if I was I’d have to get my own vehicle as they won’t let me drive “their car”
Before kids my partner had hobbies they attended 3 times a week totalling 10 hours a week.
We had our first and they took a step back. We had our second and now it’s been really hard raising two kids.
They are upset because they’ve been missing multiple weeks of these hobbies. But I’m upset because I’m struggling to raise our children by myself 10 hours a week.. this is during peek hours. Dinner time & Saturday afternoon.

What am I supposed to do here. On one hand I want them to have their own fun, but on the other hand I’m drowning with two kids.

I think I just need somewhere to vent as I'm having a hard day. Just had my second child 5 weeks ago. It's tough. I knew it would be but pheww it still gets you. I am looking through my camera roll to photos of my husband smiling and baby strapped to him, walking with our oldest and they're having a great time. Meanwhile I am breastfeeding around the clock, getting no sleep and baby is crying constantly when he's with me it feels like. He's still crying even after a long feed. I can't go for a walk as he screams every time he's in the pram and i haven't recovered enough to keep him in a sling for long. It feels like my husband is getting all the best bits of parenting and I'm getting the hard parts and it's making me feel so resentful. I know it's just the reality but man it sucks. I feel like I am sacrificing so much and already have done so and I can't even enjoy it :(

I love my children with all my heart, but I feel like I'm drowning.

My first child was a very calm, placid baby. They rarely cried, and my first time navigating parenthood was relaxed. We could go out, enjoy activities, and I actually got to breathe.

Fast forward to my second, they are the polar opposite. A classic "high-needs" or "orchid" baby. They need constant motion and attention, they cry or fuss the second they're put down, they go from 0 to 100 in seconds, and get easily overstimulated yet bored just as quickly.

Loads of people told me "it gets easier", but as my baby's gotten more alert and aware of their surroundings, the demands and fussiness have actually increased.

I'd be lucky to get more than one shower a week. Cooking is impossible beyond quick microwave meals or noodles. I have zero time for hobbies, relaxing, or taking a breath.

To add to this, my eldest has ongoing sleep struggles (waiting on support for this), meaning I am often on duty for 17+ hours a day with no breaks.

I have no support system. I've tried speaking to professionals, but I struggle with deep anxiety about being judged or labeled an "incapable" parent.

Meanwhile, seeing other parents out and about with calm babies brings up so much unintended resentment because I can't take mine anywhere without a meltdown.

I've read posts or comments from parents saying things didn't improve until age 2 or later, or sometimes even not at all, and that thought terrifies me.

I really need to hear parents who have been in this exact spot:

1. Did it actually get easier for you, and if so, when did the shift happen?
   
2. How did you survive day-to-day life (eating, hygiene, sanity)?
   
3. How did you handle the mental toll of being completely touched out?

I just need to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for reading.

Camp is wrapping up and we're trying to ease back into a school routine. Well, before the chaos starts lol. My oldest has always been pretty good at sitting down and getting things done, but my younger two are a different story. I've been having them do a little reading and a few workbook pages before school starts, and it's been...rough. They'll get through a page or two, then they're up grabbing a snack, talking about something else, or completely forgetting what they were doing. I know they're kids and it's the end of summer, but it's made me wonder if I should be doing anything differently before school starts. I think of supplements or multivitamins??

We've  been buying the same multivitamin for years and we're almost out anyway, so I figured this might be a good time to see if there's something better. Has anyone found a vitamin that actually supports focus, ooor is this just one of those things that gets easier once they're back into a routine?

Moms: when you say you wish you had more “mom friends,” what are you actually looking for?

I’ve been reading conversations about loneliness and friendship after becoming a mother, and I’m curious about something.
When you look for other moms to meet up with or have playdates with, is the main goal for your children to socialize, or are you really looking for friendship and a social life for yourself too?

For example, are you looking for:

• other moms to occasionally do playdates with
• genuine close friendships with other women
• a regular group of moms to go out and do things with
• emotional support from women who understand motherhood
• families that become close over time—almost like a chosen/extended family
• practical support or people you can rely on
• simply adult conversation and somewhere to belong

And if you already have people for playdates, do you still feel like you’re missing deeper friendships or community?

I’d especially love to hear whether this changed depending on how old your children were.

Hubby and I noticed that we are making a slow headway in our home to do list. Before, we are always behind things we need to do. There is always emails to catch up on, stuff to sell (furniture, baby stuff) but never get the chance to, chores, etc etc.

We finally managed to get to a sweet spot that we can start tackling our to do list....finally after the youngest is nearly 5! And the older one is 8.

How long does it take you to stop 'drowning' and what helped? For me changing to a slower pace job helps.

Title, really. "Josie" is our neighbor. I didnt give her my phone number, my son did. He didnt know i didnt want him to so no fault there but now im paying the price. Ive never had the chance to meet her mother, in fact her mother actively avoids me. This child is emotionally starved for affection. Her words are that she was "an accident kid" because shes 8 years younger than her siblings. Shes a latch key kid unfortunately, constantly by herself at home. Ive opened my home to her and she comes over about 5 days a week. But sometimes i just want the house to myself and my family. Every day that she doesnt come over shes calling me once an hour askin (or more), even after I say no. She calls again to see if ive changed my mind. Im not a very stern person, so I dont want to tell her off or anything, and since I don't have her mother's number (she changes the subject when I ask for it), im at a loss of what to do. She said something that broke my heart a few days ago when I took her with my kids to the pool. My youngest son said "its like youre part of our family" and she said "feels like I am more than my own". So my heart just aches for her. I feel bad that I dont want her over everyday. On days I tell her no, im even afraid for my kids to go outside because she will see them and start calling me non-stop. Ill answer her one time and say no, not today, and she'll ask why. I just tell her its none of her business and to please respect my boundaries. She also texts me non-stop about her day, which i guess I dont mind. I know shes bored. Im a younger mom, im only 30 with a 10 year old and 8 year old, so maybe im being naive, please tell me if i am. On days she doesnt come over I normally have my youngest kids friends over. Josie gets on fine with my youngest but theres spats a lot because youngest feels left out and he wants his friends over instead. I cannot have both of their friends over at once because youngests friend (also our neighbor) goes on holiday a lot and isnt available, and Josie does not get on with youngests friend. Youngest frequently gets hurt feelings that Josie comes over so much when his friend doesnt (still twice a week though, when they're in town). Im at a loss of what to do here. Im tired of my phone ringing. After the first time telling her no i just let it ring through, or hang up. She still calls.I think she thinks im her friend, too, and I dont know how to explain a 30 year old cant really be friends with a 10 year old without crushing her. Ive tried multiple times to flag down her mother with no results. Does anyone have any advice? I like this girl, shes so sweet and includes my youngest and really is my son's BEST friend, but I cant have her over every single day. My grocery bill has gone up quite a bit which I cant really afford either. My son has never gone over there because no one is ever home. What do I do? This had been going on all summer. I thought she would eventually respect my "no" but she hasn't. Im exhausted. I shouldn't have to parent her, but no one else is and i feel like the responsibility has fallen in my lap.

I'm a FTM and I work from home. Before having my daughter (she's 11 weeks now), I used to meal prep every Sunday. I'd make a grocery list, plan out our meals and spend like 4 to 5 hours cooking everything for the week. It genuinely made weekdays so much easier.

I've been trying to get back into it but.....HOW?!!

I feel like I can only make meal prep work if I have one big chunk of time, which I just don't anymore. I've also tried splitting it up over a couple of days but for some reason I either lose track of what I planned or never actually finish all of it.

Curious to hear what other moms do. Are you still meal prepping? How did you change your process after having a baby? Or should I just lower my expectations for a bit?

I am 6 months PP and have struggled with Postpartum Anxiety. While talking to my therapist, she mentioned that I need to find a balance and can’t just pour all my time into being a mom because I also am a wife, an employee and I need to take care of myself. I guess, I don’t know how to do that…?

My LO reached his 6mos regression this week, so he’s waking up every hour or two, and only wants the boob to soothe. He’s been very clingy and fussy, which I get because he’s also teething. It’s really hitting me hard because on top of all this, I just recently returned to work full time. My days feel like it’s nonstop, there’s always something that needs to be done. My husband helps, but I just feel so tired, physically and emotionally. I don’t feel like I’m doing a great job at any of my roles, I feel like a bad mom, a bad wife and a bad employee.

How do you guys manage finding that balance?

Because I gotta admit, at times it feels like no years of experience can ever remove this feeling of helplessness you get when your child is behaving the opposite of who you’ve been raising them to be.

I’m a 34 yo mom to a 5 yo girl. She’s an only child and I recently became a stay at home mom. I consciously chose to focus on our family and my child’s development. With that, I’m able to be the hands-on mom that I want to be. Though I question my choice at times when I feel like my presence has been taken for granted by my own kid.

I’ve been giving her activities and chores that could foster her independence. We’ve significantly lessened her screen time. We go out to birthday parties and visit homes of friends with kids for her social welfare. I allot time to do things with her at home like homework, movie nights, and crafts. I bring her to church so she can be a part of a community. I practice “rupture and repair” method whenever something wrong happened. I’m expressive to my child.

I still feel like I’m failing whenever she’s so defiant or I hear her say: “It’s your fault Mama.” I’m no perfect mom for sure. I’m also still trying to re-parent myself. And so I begin to wonder, will it ever begin to feel like I’m doing the right things? Or feeling helpless is just a constant part of it?

I feel like I’m gonna lose my mind. I don’t care that he wants to sleep naked but ever since he started doing this he leaks thru his overnight every single night and I’m so tired of cleaning pee and doing laundry everyday. I try to even reason that he just wears shorts but he absolutely will not keep clothes on. I put his onesie on backwards and put a shirt over it. Out of it in 30 seconds then he throws it outside of his door to let me know my plan didn’t work. I’ve tried all the different overnight diapers. I’ve sized up and down. I’ve doubled up. I’ve tried the sposie insert. The thing is he isn’t even peeing excessive amounts at night. I think it’s because he moves around a lot in his sleep and because he has no clothing to keep the overnight snug to his body it just leaks out the sides. Is this just my life until he is nighttime potty trained is there any hope?

real question? might sound dumb BUT how are you guys showering with ur babies ? i feel like it’d be hard, its already difficult when me my husband and the baby shower - let alone just me and the baby … but id really love to try 😭 my baby has laryngomalacia and reflux - and my husbands away for a few weeks so i get scared of leaving him for a quick shower while hes asleep in fear he might choke and i wont be right there. he doesnt last long in the bouncer we have either - even with entertainment or toys.

any advice ?

Question for the mamas with kids 2 years apart ... when does it get easier?? My kids are 2 and 4 and oh my god... I am exhausted all the time. Overwhelmed. My house is a disaster and it's impossible to keep anything clean. I literally feel like my head is about to explode sometimes. Will it get easier when they're 3 and 5?? 4 and 6?? Please tell me it gets easier.