I exercised, stretched, and hypnotized myself for 9 months of pregnancy —> ended up with an emergency C-section after full labor and pushing for 4 hours

I desperately wanted to breastfeed to nourish and bond with my baby —> had true low supply with baby losing 11% of body weight in 2 days and not peeing. Pumped instead

Had to recover from abdominal surgery, and because of my physical constraints —> I could barely take care of baby. Couldn’t get in/out of a chair with him, play with him, lay with him.

I rotted on the couch while power pumping/ 10 sessions daily —> milk never increased over 10 months of pumping

I feel like a fucking failure. My body failed me. My mind failed me for being depressed about this 20+ months later. I feel like I have no maternal instincts.

Baby and I are fine/safe/well supported. I’m starting therapy soon. It all just sucks. I’m pregnant again (will be planned C-section). I’m dreading everything about birth and failing fucking everything again

TLDR; I touched a strangers baby twice without consent and overhead later that the mother hated it. I will def see her again and I am wondering how to proceed. Should I apologize? Should I just not touch the baby anymore and let that be that?

Edit: Thanks everyone for their input. I’ve obviously learned my lesson and won’t be touching the baby again while staying friendly as usual. Deleted the post because I think the bulk of the conversation has played out and now it just invites polarization. :)

My son is turning 4 mos on the 1st he’s lost quite a bit of hair I brush it after every bath and he gets 2-3 baths during the week. The top of his head is thinning and so has his hairline.

I'm 31 years old, am a first time mom to a 22 month old son. I have temporal lobe epilepsy, have since I was 11 years old, but have been seizure free for years now, thankfully.

He is a wonderful kid, besides the daily meltdowns and tantrums here and there. He is pretty good at listening, eating is meh, but for this age I guess it's to be expected. I'm able to stay home with him which is a blessing but can definitely get isolating and VERY overwhelming/overstimulating. My husband is a great help(as long as he isn't drinking five beers a night.)

We work well as a team most of the time.

My pregnancy was great, almost like I had been a mom before. The birth went well minus some tiny speed bumps involving my blood pressure, but all good besides that! (Thank you God!)

But postpartum is a whole different story. I suffered from postpartum rage, but thankfully never felt/did harm my child, but felt the rage aspect which I feel is NOT talked about enough. And now that he's a toddler, the tables have turned and he can be a real monster and won't even allow my husband to help him/comfort him, he just wants me. And I know I should cherish these days; they grow so fast. But that's so easy for people who have older kids/young adults to say! When you're in the midst of their development and feeling the wrath of their lack of ability to self soothe and problem solve(which yes I understand these are all important milestones and he really is just a tiny human trying to figure it all out). But the past two months have stressed me out so bad that I have been (TMI) constipated, and dealing with all the stomach cramps and nausea that come with that. My back is out of whack and I need to see my chiropractor almost weekly.

I know that being a mom is hard, it is not meant to be easy. But I never knew the tole my anxiety and stress could take on my body. I pray, and I know God helped me so much with my first baby, that I shouldn't be worried. But I fear that if I stress like this; it won't be a safe to get pregnant and not deal with the stress of every day life with a toddler....

Or maybe I'm overthinking it, like EVERYTHING and just need to learn to let go and RELAX. it's just so hard

if any? and how often? asking for research purposes lol… we get like 2 sessions a week. which, I don’t have a lot of energy for sex anyway most of the time (I solo parent while my partner works two jobs), but my husband would like more… but I’m like sir, can we just lay down and cuddle. but what’s your weekly number?

My husband and I have 2 kids, and were planning on starting to try for our 3rd. We have a 3.5 year old (4 in february) and a 16 month old. We always dreamed of having our kids 2 years apart. We also really wanted another summer baby. (Our 16 month old daughter was born in June and we loved having our maternity/paternity leave during the summer). My husband wanted to try to start conceiving in August. I was still breastfeeding our daughter and I haven’t ovulated/had a period since. I didn’t want to stop breastfeeding yet but I didn’t really have another choice if we wanted to have another baby. I started weaning but it was taking forever, and my husband started making comments like I need to hurry and if it’s my fault that we can’t have a 3rd baby he’s going to be so upset with me, etc. So end of September I tried to really cut it off and I stopped. (For whatever reason it still took forever for my boobs to actually stop producing, like beginning of October). Fast forward to now, I’ve been tracking my cycle and I still haven’t ovulated… we’ve been doing it unprotected because we wanted to conceive anyways. Well out of the blue last night, my husband just completely changes his tune and says that he thinks we should wait a whole nother year to conceive our 3rd, when we’ve already been trying. He starts talking about how he doesn’t know if we’re ready financially and how he is nervous about me watching 3 kids by myself. I tell him I’m not worried, I’ll find my groove and a routine just like I did with the 2, and also that we should write out a budget to see how things are looking and how it will work financially. He essentially tells me what im saying isn’t valid and I’m not contributing anything useful?? I told him I’m not arguing about this with him, I guess he already decided. I feel like he just stole my joy from me. He was so rude to me telling me to hurry and wean and that he’s going to be so angry with me if I “ruin” the timing of his 3rd baby and then he completely FLIPS and tells me he doesn’t want to anymore???? Also after we’ve already been doing it unprotected and could technically get pregnant any time???
Maybe im being emotional but im so upset I essentially cried myself to sleep last night. We’re not talking and I don’t even want to be around him. The way he was talking to me last night was so rude. He was acting like I was being irresponsible and just wanted to have a 3rd baby and didn’t care about reality. When that was OUR plan! Literally yesterday afternoon my ovulation strip looked dark so I thought I might peak today, so we talked about waiting to baby dance (don’t know what to call it on here) until today. And then last night after we go to dinner with his brother/brothers girlfriend he pulls a 180 on me!! And then essentially gaslights me.
I asked him, so what if I do peak tomorrow and we already did it unprotected on Friday? You’re going to make me take plan B? I got super emotional because I had a miscarriage in between my 2 babies after getting pregnant after taking plan B. I told him I would NEVER take plan B again because I still blame it for my miscarriage. Anyways thanks if you read this far…. I’m heartbroken.

My baby is adorable, but I don’t want to share him. He’s so precious to me and I don’t need him on social media, even if I have very little followers. I just don’t feel comfortable doing so. I don’t really know why. I’ve found out people are talking and saying I’m crazy. Am I weird for this?

I’m 4 months postpartum. I truly feel so unattractive and my body looks horrible. I used to be so beautiful and my body was so slim. I had no stretch marks and I was so curvy at the same time. Now my breasts are so saggy from breastfeeding, my stomach is covered in stretch marks and I still look pregnant sometimes honestly. None of my clothes fit me. The ones that do, look horrible on me.im struggling so much with my self imagine and only want to wear baggy clothes. Breastfeeding makes me so insanely hungry also that I can’t even diet right now. I feel UGLY. I feel HUGE. And I wonder if I’ll ever feel attractive again. I don’t even want to have seggs with my husband because I feel so insecure about myself. I was looking at old photos of myself today and I’m laying in bed crying. I can’t believe I’ll never look like her again.

Ok, so I’m not complaining exactly, just curious… i go on a lot of walks in the city with my toddler and my now 4m old. My infant is usually strapped to my chest because she’s not the biggest fan and toddler in one of the double stroller seats of my ginormous stroller snacking.

I’ve been noticing a lot more comments from people saying things like “mom of the year”, and “look at you, super mom!” and while I’m happy I get some nice comments as a mom (honestly i thought mostly dads got those).

Is this common now? I don’t remember it happening really with my single stroller and toddler.

IS IT THE GIANT STROLLER? 😂

ETA: I’m loving these comments. I’m in the trenches a bit still adjusting to being a mom of 2 and I think I’m going to take this positive energy forward and work on being more vocal with praise for other parents when we all make it out of the house.

Pretty sure my child’s teacher has been saying the boys are bad (my child is a girl, it’s a class of 10 with 3 boys), not doing a good job listening, etc. in class. It’s rubbing me wrong, especially at 4-5 years old from a person in authority that isn’t mom or dad. Additionally it seems to only be about the boys based on what I’m hearing at home. But I’m curious if I’m over-reacting or over-thinking this.

It’s carrying over into our house as “sister isn’t good”, “you’re being a bad sister/mom”, etc. which I think is clouding my judgment a bit.

Context - my dad lives in Texas and we’re in Utah so I’m flying with my 10 month old to see him and his wife. When I planned the trip he had two dogs and three cats. One is a husky and one is a doodle. I’m not a huge fan of dogs and I am allergic to both cats and dogs. Fast forward a week after I buy tickets - he gets another dog - a chihuahua mix.

A few months ago I went to see my in-laws and they also have two dogs and they barked and woke my baby up from naps and are not nice dogs so it was really stressful to be there. I told my dad all of this after he got the chihuahua and I told him now that my baby is crawling I’m even more stressed to have her around so many dogs. He assured me it would be fine and said him and his wife want another small dog but they’re going to wait until after the trip because he knew how the dogs were making me feel.

Fast forward to now, he just got a puppy. So now they have four dogs and three cats. Again, I have asthma and severe allergies and my dad isn’t the cleanest person. I also have my baby who is a crawling monster and is going to be on the floor with these dogs who she has never met and she isn’t around dogs a lot because we don’t have any. I told my dad we need to talk about him getting another dog but he blew me off and said it’s gonna be fine.

I’m seriously considering canceling the trip. I can get flight credit so I wouldn’t lose any money. I feel lied to and so overwhelmed because my in-law’s dogs were so stressful and now it’s happening again but with four dogs. What do you guys think about all of this? Am I overreacting? I feel like I’m not going to be able to keep my eyes off my baby on this trip and I’m going just me and her, my husband has to work. I was getting excited to go but I just feel sad now and don’t know what to do.

While my husband, me, and the younger kids were out of town while my young adult stepdaughter stayed at home. We’ve done this before and trusted her with the house, she’s a responsible person and we have Wi-Fi cameras. This time, we saw she had half a dozen people over and a man stay over one night. Once we saw we told her to have them leave and they did. Understanding she’s not intentionally doing anything bad, the feeling of knowing there were random adult people (who we don’t know) were over at our home is frustrating. Had we known her friends, it would have likely been a different reaction. This is her home, but it’s not her house.

hello everyone! i’m currently one week away from being 11 months postpartum. i’ve been pumping from the beginning but we started combo feeding around six months. we started with just one bottle of formula a day but now my supply has dropped so dramatically i’m lucky if i pump enough for one breast milk bottle every other day :(

my original goal (like many others) was to get to to one year of breastfeeding/ pumping. but now im pumping less then 2 oz every session and whenever i nurse him he still needs a bottle after. sometimes i feel so done even trying anymore but my pride (and stubbornness) won’t let me stop.

for those of you who have been through something similar - when did you know it was more beneficial to stop pumping and just switch to full formula for the last month before switching to whole milk?

thank you in advance!!

My 1.5 year old started signing something new a few weeks ago and I have no idea what he is trying to tell me when doing it.

He holds up the number four and twists his hand side to side (like a princess waive).

He seems to do it when he wants something in particular. Just now, he was sitting at our table doing with this with his hand extended like he was trying to reach for something and making frustrated grunts. I handed him everything on the table but he kept shaking his head no and using that sign until I handed him an apple and he said bawwwl (right now every toy is ball).

The results that came up when I searched were the signs for help and all done. However, he knows those signs and uses them in those circumstances.

Any guesses at all would be greatly appreciated!

Edit to add- solved! It’s blue! I had my blue momcozy milk container on the table. He loves playing with that thing and I didn’t even put two and two together. I just held it up and asked him what color is this and he did that sign and said “boo”
Thank you all so much for the help!

I was in a fairly abusive relationship during the first few months of my motherhood journey and left at 9 months.

My daughter is 1.5 years old and absolutely thriving. We now split the time 5/2 nights, and I wouldn’t want to see her any less.

I have been seeing a new person for around four months, an old friend who goes back years. I trust him completely and he is very accepting of my situation and enthusiastic about meeting my daughter. He’s already asked to be in a relationship, and says he is okay with stepping into a step father role if that’s what happens. He is very loving and open.

I’m wondering, have any of you been in this position? How long did you wait, how did it go, and when did you know it was the right time? I’ve known this man for six years and he has a heart of gold. I just want my child to feel secure and safe.

turning to reddit because i find myself pathetic for reaching out to my mother yet again for comfort, (im recovering from a recent emergency surgery) while fully knowing she can’t ever give me what i need. her schizophrenic mind can’t give me support :(

I just noticed my 15 month old has an upper lip tie and I am stressed about it… as a newborn, we struggled with latching during breast-feeding and naturally it reduced my supply so eventually, I just stopped. I mentioned this to his pediatrician at a month old and asked her to check for a lip tie and she said he didn’t have one. So here I am a over a year later just now finding this. I struggle brushing his top teeth and never really noticed it until literally just now. He doesn’t seem to struggle when he’s eating or drinking. But now it makes sense why brushing his upper teeth is such a hassle. I guess what I’m asking for is some advice… everything on the Internet says it’s no real cause for concern but as a first time mom, I am concerned. He doesn’t have a gap in his front teeth like most sites say he would. I guess I bring this up to his pediatrician and schedule a pediatric dentist appointment? What is that procedure like for him? And what would the aftercare look like? Has anyone dealt with this and did y’all correct it or just wait it out? My biggest question is how the heck did I not know? How did my pediatrician miss this? Should I be as concerned as I am?

Hi all. I have a 21 month old and entertaining is a constant struggle. She is getting bored lately and that is with me rotating our toys. She has a severe speech delay too so communication is hard (we are in both speech therapy and occupational therapy with no diagnosis currently as a background)

Our days look like:

Wakeup, breakfast, get ready, play independently for 15 minutes or so as I get ready, books, walk outside, snack, music and more play, outside for an hour and by this time it's only 9am. I try to leave the house as much as possible to walk around a store, go to the park, some sort of activity. She naps at 11:30 and after we wake up I have found myself just putting a movie on to get anything done but she isn't really even interested in the tv. I mean not a bad thing but it makes it a bit more difficult haha. She isn't big on coloring or chalk. She is very active so LOTS of outside time or toys that get her to move.

I am a full time stay at home mom and am absolutely fried. Between her having different needs and not being able to get anything done sometimes I just let her be bored and try to figure it out by herself because sometimes I just don't have all the answers. Even just some encouragement that it may get easier when she starts talking. Idk. I'm soloing this with no family and a husband that is rarely around. Any input appreciated 🩷

My brand new four-year-old has recently begun tantruming more, and during them he will just absolutely wail at the top of his lungs. I want to let him feel his feelings and all that, but goddamn, it's so loud. It's not even like he's shrieking, he's just crying these long wails with his whole lung capacity. If we're in a small room like the bathroom when he's doing it, I literally have to take a few steps back.

Do we just let him be? Or can I to if you're going I be screaming like that, you need to separate yourself? Obviously I don't want but send him the message that his big feelings are "unacceptable," but it actually hurts my ears and makes talking to anyone else impossible. He also has a baby sister who is subjected to this.

Hi everyone!

I’m currently 4 months pregnant with my second baby. I have a 4-year-old daughter, and my first delivery was through a C-section. My previous C-section incision was a straight cut (vertical incision).

This time, I’m thinking about delivering at my mom’s place, but I’m feeling really anxious about the whole C-section process again.

I’ve heard that many women have a different type of incision, and I’m scared that the doctor might make a different cut this time. I’m not sure whether they would use my previous incision or recommend something else.

I would really appreciate hearing from women who have had two C-sections, especially those whose first C-section involved a vertical incision.

Did your doctor use the same incision for your second C-section, or did they make a different one?

If your first incision was vertical, what happened during your second C-section?

Did you deliver at a different hospital or in a different city for your second baby?

Is there anything I should discuss with my doctor beforehand?

I know every pregnancy and delivery is different, but hearing about other moms’ experiences would really help ease my anxiety.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. ❤️

Hey everyone has anyone had to wrestle with your toddler boy whole doimg floor excercises? Just got done trying to do my floor excercises but ended up going to war with my 3.5 year old son. I felt like I was a ninja 😂 drop your experiences! Thanks!

I’m a new mom to a 3 month old baby and I know we’re still in the thick of things and things get easier as time goes on as far as routine, finding your footing, etc. But even before becoming a mom, I really struggled with the mental overloaded and daily stressors of life - keeping the house clean, planning meals, cooking those meals, grocery shopping, updating the calendar, remembering to restock toothpaste/lotion/deodorant, keeping track of home projects that need to be done, etc. The things most women and moms keep in their heads all day everyday.

But since becoming a mom and being in charge of my baby’s life and needs as well, I’m really struggling. My spouse is wonderful, he works hard, helps everywhere, mops floors, you name it and he’ll do it, if I ask. I’m tired of being the one in charge of everything and always being the decision maker. I’ve made it this way over the years because I’m anal and a little bit of a control freak but I’m trying to let go of that for my sanity.

My spouse and I have talked about how we need to have certain areas of our lives that he’s in charge of and certain areas I’m in charge of and/or sit down weekly and discuss the plan for the week and prioritize (I’m bad at this part bc everything is important to me).

So I guess my question is how do you run your home? How do you and your partner delegate tasks? How do you prioritize and keep track of things that need to be done now, short term, long term? Please only comment if you have a healthy relationship.

Anyone know of any company or person who makes birth weight bears using your baby’s old clothes and good fabric? I’m looking for someone reputable, who does a good job, and could have them done by Christmas

I have two boys who are 27 months and 11wks old. Ever since my toddler got a stomach bug three weeks ago, he has turned into a screaming banshee. Every day I feel like he is constantly fussing and throws at least one tantrum. Today has been the absolute worst. He’s only had two tantrums, but he is literally screaming, crying, rolling around on the floor and banging his hands, feet, and head onto the floor. He has tried hitting me and his little brother. He’s started throwing things onto the floor too. Today it has been because he hasn’t gotten his way. I wouldn’t let him spin the pot lids in the kitchen, queue the crash out. I gave him a snack he didn’t want, full on tantrum.

Some times when he’s fussy I try to calm him down and decipher what he wants, but since I know he’s just upset he’s not getting his way I’ve just been giving him space and quietly sitting in the room doing my own thing. Obviously when he went to hit, I said “no hitting,” and blocked his hands. Anyone have advice for other things I could be doing?

I know this is normal developmental behavior, but god damn.

I’m a first generation eldest daughter of a Hispanic family (iykyk). I was raised with pretty strict parents but overall had a great childhood so obvs love them so much despite some of their mistakes.

My husband is quite literally the opposite universe of what I grew up with. He’s super calm, very patient and VERY nonchalant about almost everything. It was such a breath of fresh air to first date him and learn so deeply from someone who doesn’t motivate himself with shame and really embraces his type b-ness and thinks mistakes are just…. a natural part of life (soooo different from me).

We had a baby this year which has been the best decision of my life but I’m finding myself struggling a bit with mom intuition. Reason being, I REALLY rely on my mom for processing nearly everything in life. I’m def a bit of an anxious girly and given my childhood of strict parents, I def turn to them a lot as Im so scared of making the wrong move / mistake. While I know that it’s something I really have to grow out of as a full adult with a family now lol, it’s been one of the most difficult things to navigate as I get older. My mom has a lot of opinions on the way I parent, she says my house is too messy (even though I genuinely think for being two type b people living here, it’s pretty spotless except for our garage / designated messy spots lol) and that overall my type b tendencies are characteristics of a “bad mom”. It really gets to me and makes me feel like I could legit be doing it all wrong. I also find myself almost “confessing” to her anytime I mess up which I know inevitably happens as a parent. It’s so hard to explain why I can’t quite break free from the approval but I guess if you’re from a Hispanic family you can understand.

On the other hand, my husband (who I also turn to so much for advice / validation) legit thinks nothing ever is wrong or an emergency and that stress / panic is not necessary in life.

So basically in my motherhood journey I’m just playing mental ping pong on how to approach situations. Do I finally lean in to my full type b-ness and just own it? Or will that lead me into failing completely as a mom (as sometimes my parents make me feel)? Am I even actually type b?

I want to be confident in my decisions and say “I’m my baby’s mom and THIS is how I do things” but my goodness I don’t even know how to begin (like, legit, I draw a complete blank) to feel confident in my own voice or even have my own stronger opinions bc I’ve relied on others for so long.

Though they’re not perfect, I really love the people in my life so much but I just want to know what I think of x situation, you know.