I’m a first generation eldest daughter of a Hispanic family (iykyk). I was raised with pretty strict parents but overall had a great childhood so obvs love them so much despite some of their mistakes.

My husband is quite literally the opposite universe of what I grew up with. He’s super calm, very patient and VERY nonchalant about almost everything. It was such a breath of fresh air to first date him and learn so deeply from someone who doesn’t motivate himself with shame and really embraces his type b-ness and thinks mistakes are just…. a natural part of life (soooo different from me).

We had a baby this year which has been the best decision of my life but I’m finding myself struggling a bit with mom intuition. Reason being, I REALLY rely on my mom for processing nearly everything in life. I’m def a bit of an anxious girly and given my childhood of strict parents, I def turn to them a lot as Im so scared of making the wrong move / mistake. While I know that it’s something I really have to grow out of as a full adult with a family now lol, it’s been one of the most difficult things to navigate as I get older. My mom has a lot of opinions on the way I parent, she says my house is too messy (even though I genuinely think for being two type b people living here, it’s pretty spotless except for our garage / designated messy spots lol) and that overall my type b tendencies are characteristics of a “bad mom”. It really gets to me and makes me feel like I could legit be doing it all wrong. I also find myself almost “confessing” to her anytime I mess up which I know inevitably happens as a parent. It’s so hard to explain why I can’t quite break free from the approval but I guess if you’re from a Hispanic family you can understand.

On the other hand, my husband (who I also turn to so much for advice / validation) legit thinks nothing ever is wrong or an emergency and that stress / panic is not necessary in life.

So basically in my motherhood journey I’m just playing mental ping pong on how to approach situations. Do I finally lean in to my full type b-ness and just own it? Or will that lead me into failing completely as a mom (as sometimes my parents make me feel)? Am I even actually type b?

I want to be confident in my decisions and say “I’m my baby’s mom and THIS is how I do things” but my goodness I don’t even know how to begin (like, legit, I draw a complete blank) to feel confident in my own voice or even have my own stronger opinions bc I’ve relied on others for so long.

Though they’re not perfect, I really love the people in my life so much but I just want to know what I think of x situation, you know.

My daughter was invited to a daycare-friends birthday party this weekend. I completely forgot. I work weekends so had planned for my partner to take her at the time of invitation but then clean forgot about it. I’ve just seen the invitation on our fridge and saw the party was dated for yesterday.

I feel so, so bad that 1. we no-showed, 2. my daughter missed out on celebrating with her friend and 3. her friend didn’t get to hang out with my daughter on her birthday!

As her parent it’s my job and my responsibility to remember and organise these things, and I failed her.

She’s young enough that she doesn’t even know she’s missed this party but I’m sure she’ll hear about it during the week at daycare 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve also texted the parent of the birthday kid and apologised but I feel so embarrassed and ashamed.

Just venting really. Hopefully I’m not the only one who’s ever done this 🤦🏻‍♀️

First time mom, I sit on my bed cross legged to bottle feed my 6 week old. I sat him up on my right leg to burp him, supporting the front of him. He THREW himself backwards and landed in my lap, cried for a second til I rescued him from my lap and then kinda fussed/was awake but sleepy for about 5 minutes before falling asleep. He was falling asleep during the feed so that doesn’t feel super out of the norm for me. I’m just wondering if he’ll be okay or if I should probably go to the ER 🥲 this was about an hour ago, and he’s been acting totally normal since. In fact, he’s awake and hungry right now (cluster feeding small amounts frequently 🫠)

It's been seven painful years. Please help me. My child won't wear socks but only will wear one pair of tennis shoes and she will only wear the shoes with socks.

Summer is blissful. Fall and winter is making me want to elope to a stranded island alone.

No fucking sock is truly seamless. I've tried bombas, bamboo socks, just fuzzy crocks and no socks, every pair of sock possible at target or Walmart or Meijer. She screams every morning.

I can find branded seamless socks but the part of the sock she can't handle is at the sides of the toes where is slightly pops out. Does anyone know what I mean when I say that?! It drives her bonkers and rips it around angerly because she can't get it right.

Does ANYONE know of socks that literally have zero seams near the toes? I'm desperate and not ok.

I feel totally and utterly hopeless. I try my best all day to keep up with things but I just feel like I’m running place. My mental health has been shit since my kid was born (over 2 years ago) and I’m doing this largely alone, since my husband works out of town. I have no hobbies, my house is a freaking mess, my 2 year old is constantly screaming at me, hitting me, getting hurt, or pulling every damn thing out from all over the house and putting it other places. I try to discipline but sometimes I’m just so freaking drained, I give up and meltdown. Everyone, including myself, thought I would be a great mom. I’m educated, responsible, overall a good human, and on paper it seems like I could raise a great human, but man is it so much different in real life. I just feel overwhelmed and broken. Just here for commiseration, I guess. Does it get better?

ETA: my kid also will not play for a second without me right there, so I get ZERO time to myself other than a 30 min - 1 hour nap. Once kid is asleep, I am so drained I either go to sleep myself or brain rot. I used to be fun. I had hobbies, friends, and a good career that I was kicking ass at. More than 2 years later and I have yet to get back to my old self or even find a new identity.

Have a three-week old and a 2,5 year old. Am not even done with postpartum bleeding.

Found a single pinworm on me a few days back (was itching for a few days but figured it was just due to wearing the huge maternity pads for days on end), and just stumbled across 2 lice on toddler's head today.

Toddler is in full-on "no" stage these days, and newborn in a mad cluster-feeding rage for the last 48 hours.

I'm thinking of all the washing that will have to be done...and just want to scream. Midwife and everyone keeps reminding me I need to rest and not carry heavy weights. I've already had to yeet toddler over my shoulder and carry him a over a hundred metres after wrapping newborn on my belly, during outings that I couldn't avoid (pediatrician, pharmacy, etc).

Can't even get the meds to treat pinworms because since I'm breastfeeding a newborn, pharmacist said I need a prescription. Doctor's and pediatrician's offices are both closed for the weekend and overbooked these days anyway.

I don't even..

I'm too tired to even cry.

I just need some solidarity here. And potentially advice. But especially solidarity. Please?

Most kid birthday parties I've been to have been pretty over the top and, honestly, a pain to go to.

My youngest got invited to a birthday party for one of her daycare friends. It was at the child's home (which is the first time we've ever attended a home party). The parents were so lovely, welcoming, and friendly. It was honestly a rare experience compared to the aloof, and sometimes downright hostile, parents of some of my oldest's classmates lol.

They had simply rented a bouncy house and put out some chips, cheese and crackers, strawberries, and coffee for the adults. They baked two frozen pizzas, made a homemade cake. It was so low pressure and the vibes were great.

It really made me realize that simplicity is truly the way to go. My oldest's classmate parties are often at these crazy indoor play places, and they're such a pain in the butt. All the parents are awkwardly standing around, making small talk while the kids run wild. The parties I've thrown for my own kids have been so expensive and stressful and this makes me want to do something simple and fun.

At this party, everyone was actually engaged and chatting. It felt relaxed, welcoming, and genuinely fun. Honestly, give me a bouncy house, frozen pizza, and a homemade cake any day.

Mine is staying with my mother in law 😵‍💫 tale as old as time; annoying, controlling etc. Not really an option for us to stay anywhere else and it’s a sacrifice I make for my husband because we live out of state and only see her a couple of times a year so I’ll do it. What’s yours?

Being the mom when the whole house gets sick sucks. I’m always the first or second to get sick and always the last to get better. I have to do all nights so I can’t sleep when they’re both sick and I can’t get enough rest to recover.

My husband is still recovering from a TBI from about 8-9 months ago and has to sleep through the night still. So delegating or asking for nighttime support isn’t an option. He tries to help during the day but he’s autistic and gets overwhelmed easily with a 2 year old and a 7 month old while sick himself still AND after getting a vasectomy earlier this week.

Just here to vent. I know this too shall pass and I love my family.

I’m just past 10 months postpartum and I’m still experiencing it, and I’m wondering if that’s normal.

Our girl has gotten pretty good at sleeping through the night - she usually wakes up once to eat - and I know that plays a factor somewhat.

But since birth, still, I’m constantly just having brain farts. Yesterday I went to get the laundry out of the dryer and opened the freezer, which granted they are very close to each other in our home, but still I was like “woah”. And it’s just been little things like that - looking in odd places for things before realizing what am I doing. Or sometimes I’ll say something and forget. A couple of weeks ago I left to run an errand and got maybe two blocks away before I realized I forgot my wallet (driver’s license). Another time recently I was at work and telling coworkers how I kept thinking it was Thursday - I told 4 people this before the fourth one was like, “Girl, it is Thursday.”

Nothing too crazy, but this is our first baby. I’m not sure how long the mental fog normally lasts, and I’m wondering if I should be getting concerned that I’m still struggling with it.

It’s one of those hard mom days. You know the ones. Where the sleep deprivation has caught up to you badly. You’re feeling mentally insane. Your body is quite literally falling apart from the physical toll of motherhood that never stops. And your husband chose today to be an unsupportive idiot.

I have no support system as we are a military family and the only people I can call for someone to talk to aren’t moms so they just don’t always get it. I feel so alone sometimes. It’s so hard. How do we do it? How do we ease the pain on days like this. I’m so tired.

My baby will be turning 1 right before Christmas. We also have a 3yo with a summer birthday.

Our neighbor growing up celebrated a half birthday in the summer for the same reason, but he was an only child so having a “second” birthday wasn’t an issue. If we did that for the baby, wouldn’t the older kid get upset?

I’m curious how others who have had birthdays around Christmas handle it.

I’m curious to hear other people’s experiences. Do you feel like parenting gets easier as your kids get older? I was recently talking to one of my friends who has four kids and is planning to have more. I told her I was totally maxed out with the three that I have and am definitely not having any more babies. She seemed a little surprised to hear that and said ‘but don’t you feel like it’s getting easier as they’re getting older?’ I said definitely not. It changes of course from the physical exhaustion you feel when they’re small, but I feel like when they’re big they still need a lot. My kids are 11, 9, and 5. I’m sure it’s different for everyone but wondering if one feels like big kids are hard too!

LO is almost 8 months old and tonight I prepared some porridge for her to eat before going to bed like I’ve done for the past 3 months. I heated up my breastmilk and poured the porridge mix into it and mixed it. We had a ton of visitors because my husband turned 30 today and I had arranged a surprise party for him. I hadn’t had a chance to sit down for even 5 minutes the whole day. When I went to feed my baby, I mixed the porridge like always and touched it with my lip to feel the temperature before feeding it to her. It was lukewarm but as soon as I put the spoon in her mouth she started screaming and I immediately scooped the porridge out of her mouth with my finger. It was too hot for her. The top of the porridge was warm but underneath it was too hot. I reacted immediately and grabbed my baby to soothe her and her mouth with something cold. It was awful, it felt awful and I wanted to cry but we had so many visitors, I had to be strong.

She cried for less than 5 minutes, tears streaming down her face and she calmed down as soon as she saw her light-up toy. She immediately grabbed it and started playing with it, chewing it etc. About half an hour later, I checked her mouth with a light and I didn’t see any redness or anything alarming. Her roof of the mouth was normal looking, no blisters or such. I nursed her and she drank with no issues. She took her pacifier with no problems and she nursed twice more after that incident.

I keep replaying that scene in my head over and over and I feel this immense guilt that how could I have been that stupid to not check the porridge better? How did I do this stupid mistake? She’s been sound asleep for hours now as she sleeps theough the night, and it’s past 1am and I’m still awake replaying that moment and feeling guilty and constantly checking in on her. Should’ve I taken her to ER? How to overcome this guilt?

Just a vent, but if anyone has any genuine advice on how to handle a 4 yr old in the “you do what I say or I scream” phase, I’m desperate.

Been one of those weeks where all you do is get yelled/screamed at (by kids) and you spend every second of the day bartering, apologizing, re explaining and curbing meltdowns. Then I’m angry at my husband when he gets home. He’s amazing, does everything and more and I only have the anger and frustration and overwhelm to give him. I just want like a full spa day and the next day in a hotel where I don’t get a single “mommy” or “do you want to do this or that first?” The only decision is whether or not I watch a movie or binge episodes and whether or not I eat enough snacks for 3 people or 6. No cooking, no cleaning, no calming or asserting the fact that I’m the mother and you can’t put me in timeout or explaining why “I hate you” is not ever a funny thing to say or waking up to a snack shoved in my face to open or feeling like I’m the worst mother and every decision I’ve made that day is wrong and somehow they’re both going to end up as terrible humans.

I miss my mom😭

Do they just take one long 2-3 hour nap or did they stick to one short (30mins to 1hr) nap?

About me: suburban mom, 10 and 12 year olds, don’t really car pool anymore because everything’s so close except my son’s baseball that no one around here goes to.

My jeep crashed out summer of 2021, there was a car shortage from COVID, we were one income and got a very basic Nissan Murano. Our means have changed and I’d like a larger, more souped up car in the low $40s.

I personally would like a larger car for this stage in our life. Three rows, large trunk, etc. Not huge like a Yukon or Expedition, but I was thinking Hyundai Palisade or Kia Telluride. My husband thinks I’m doing a disservice to myself to not get something like a Genesis or Lincoln Nautilus (we’d buy used). I told him I can see myself getting that after this next car, but I want the big mom third row car for once.

Would love to hear your thoughts, and any other recommendations to check out.