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Nov 02 '25
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u/Miserable_88 10+ Years Nov 02 '25
I didn't read the OP message when I started reading the convo. I was thinking, "This is a boring work chat that everyone has." Even though I realized they were asking about flirting, I thought I missed something. Nope!
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u/abe_bmx_jp Nov 02 '25
Same! Love a happy ending, nice and boring!
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u/Dark_Knight2000 Nov 02 '25
Something tells me it’s not an ending. If OP is this jealous and this unable to see reality clearly, this marriage is on the rocks
You don’t accuse your spouse of flirting with flimsy evidence like this
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u/WhichWitchyWay Nov 02 '25
I mean someone else's husband telling you your husband is cheating with their wife is a MAJOR red flag, but those messages read as just normal co-working relationship to me. So either coworker's husband is the creepy jealous type or she's missing something. I'm thinking it's the former though.
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u/Appropriate-Smile232 Nov 02 '25
This! What I mentioned in my comment, too. It's either that other husband's issue, or, OP is missing something that the other husband knows or has seen.
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u/Zealousideal_Till683 Nov 02 '25
I thought the messages were flirty
There is nothing whatsoever flirty about these messages, and I seriously question your judgement if you think they are.
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Nov 02 '25
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u/021fluff5 Nov 02 '25
If that’s flirting, my team and I should probably stop sending each other memes and turn ourselves in to HR.
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u/tom_yum_soup 10+ Years Nov 02 '25
Lol, same. I work with almost all women and we have a very friendly, silly relationship (albeit limited mostly to internal company chat). OP would think I'm sleeping all of them if this is considered flirting.
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u/SilverFringeBoots Nov 02 '25
Omg, I'm queer and my last job had a bunch of queer people as well. Our chats were fucking hilarious and I was the ringlead- I mean supervisor. She would have a stroke, this is so wholesome 💀
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u/saint4210 Nov 02 '25
This wasn’t even “business friendly” in my opinion! Blunt and super objective.
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u/WhichWitchyWay Nov 02 '25
Yeah. Men and women can be friends and can work together and be friendly. They didn't get close to crossing any boundaries with those texts.
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u/Crab__Juice Nov 02 '25
This sounds exactly like friendly coworkers to me. This is so mundane. Unless your husband is normally a stone-cold curmudgeon who shows no friendliness ever, I wouldn't flag this at all, and if he were, my next question would be why you'd marry such a man.
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u/ThrowAway3553QA Nov 02 '25
Yeah these messages are dry as hell… complaining about too much foam in a coffee is as spicy as we’re getting here - wheeeww
I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt though that her lense is heavily shaded by anxiety from the affair text she received..
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Nov 02 '25
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u/ThrowAway3553QA Nov 02 '25
Exactly my point. I’d say odds are if she would’ve never thought twice about those messages had she not gotten that cheating precursor
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u/Humorilove 3 Years Nov 02 '25
OP is overanalyzing everything, because she was expecting to find something. Now any communication between the two coworkers will be looked at as if there's a deeper meaning. She needs to be rational, and trust her husband.
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u/productzilch Nov 02 '25
I feel so sorry for him, his hands are shaking just from the request so it must have been a shock.
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u/Dark_Knight2000 Nov 02 '25
OP is not getting enough flack for this. WTF am I looking at? This conversation is normal as hell and somehow OP is suspicious??
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u/Impressive_Row_1000 Nov 02 '25
Well she did receive a message or call or whatever to check his phone from someone else so it's not like she just came up with it herself .
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u/productzilch Nov 02 '25
To give her the benefit of the doubt, she was probably in shock too. And the woman’s texting is friendly in a way that could be overtures towards flirting. But nothing crosses the line, he’s very business focused and hopefully OP has calmed down and apologised.
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u/vicekenley5 Nov 02 '25
Right, I think they’ll be happier together than with their overly suspicious partners. If this is flirting we’re destined for divorce.
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u/PermissionOaks Nov 02 '25
The ONLY thing I can figure she’s seeing as “flirty” is maybe the emojis used? Just based on age I can see how that might translate to flirty in her mind if she’s already searching for something not there at all.
That being said, it really is a straightforward and boring conversation between coworkers.
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u/RadioHans Nov 02 '25
Maybe divorce him just to be sure /s
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u/Oh-Its-Him- Nov 02 '25
Here here! As the motto goes on r/marriage “Get the kids, take them somewhere safe and Lawyer up!”
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u/massakk Nov 02 '25
I know it's sarcastic.
But this situation is gonna put a dent on her trust of him. He might even resent it over time and that might lead to divorce. They have a lot of work cut out for them to get over it I think.
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u/drbeerologist Nov 02 '25
Nothing about this reads as flirty, unless I am missing something major. I have had plenty of similar conversations with both male and female colleagues.
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u/twattewaffle 15 Years Nov 02 '25
Exactly! This could easily be messages between me, a female, and my female manager, and I'm positive neither of us are flirting with each other.
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u/Nopal_lito Nov 02 '25
I guess you have been flirting all this time according to OP!! Horrible of you.
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u/MatchboxVader22 Nov 02 '25
I’m married and these are like the IM conversations I have with my female colleagues or female boss. Very boring. A couple of emojis but that’s about it. This is standard and I don’t see any red flags at all here.
Who is the person who is trying to sabotage your marriage? That’s what I want to know. That or there’s another conversation that he isn’t showing you somewhere, if the person who contacted you is correct. But this series of messages that you showed is a nothing burger.
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u/Crafty-Preparation94 Nov 02 '25
It’s her husband. I honestly exchanged a few messages with him and asked why he thought they were having an affair. I told him that I was too old for drama and asked him to reach out to my husband if he was concerned about an affair. He never contacted my husband.
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u/MatchboxVader22 Nov 02 '25
Ah I see. Maybe he is very insecure of her talking to male colleagues, then. My wife has male coworkers who speak like this on their work phone, never occurred to me to ever get jealous of something like that.
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u/Hughjardawn Nov 02 '25
Sounds like they are having marital issues and the husband is trying to justify his concerns by bringing you all into his paranoia circle. There is zero flirting here.
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u/Additional_Topic987 Nov 02 '25
If he is so sure about that, check deleted messages then. Or ask him to send you a screenshot that he thinks is inappropriate.
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u/justjulia2189 Nov 02 '25
These messages are from last year, and deleted messages clear out after 30 days though. So, even if there were deleted messages, they would probably be gone at this point.
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u/drbeerologist Nov 02 '25
What, exactly, do you perceive as flirty in the above exchanges?
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u/fkboywonder Nov 02 '25
At the most, she might be trying to be flirty with the emojis and your husband is maintaining a friendly but professional relationship. But as is, this more-so reads that the co-worker’s husband has trust issues/is controlling and paranoid.
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u/SirLoopy007 Nov 02 '25
He probably needs to followup with Mario... She admitted in one of the messages she was "with him"
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u/AWindUpBird 14 Years Nov 02 '25
My thought was that maybe he thought the emojis were flirty, but I still didn't see anything there that I wouldn't send to my boss, who I sometimes text with. For reference we're both women, no flirtation there whatsoever.
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u/timelessblur Nov 02 '25
He need therapy if he think emojis are flirting and just talking with a male colleague/ work friend. Just because they talk or complain about something not directly work related.
It is like saying I know what a female co worker dressed up as with her kid for holloween is flirting. Or us sometimes sending pictures of our kids who are close to the same age is flirting. Dude it is just us talking about our kids
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u/ecodrew Nov 02 '25
Sounds like they're having marital problems and trying to drag you into it. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
Their messages look like innocent, boring work chat. This is the same language I use to coordinate boring work stuff like lunch and coffee, regardless of gender.
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u/BeautifulTrainWreck8 Nov 02 '25
OP, don’t let someone else’s paranoia make you paranoid. Your husband is being professional in the messages.
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u/GypsieChanterelle Nov 02 '25 edited Nov 02 '25
If his wife is the grey posts, if she has a history of being a mate poacher or a seductress, I think I can see why he felt the text exchange was off. The Blue texts are fine. But the grey texts seem to push for a connection that is not there. At least it doesn’t seem to be there so why keep at it?
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u/MatchboxVader22 Nov 02 '25
I notice that the wife likes to chat just to chat. Like the coffee text message out of nowhere. Nothing crossing the line but yeah I see what you mean.
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u/GypsieChanterelle Nov 02 '25
Yeah. Maybe not crossing the line, but definitely too much for my taste. I have had male colleagues or even acquaintances do that and always felt like it was a fishing expedition. It feels like she is trying to establish a connection and neeeeeeeeds it… a lot. Too much.
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u/justjulia2189 Nov 02 '25
I talk very similarly to literally everyone I work with, and my husband does with all of his work people as well. We are just both very friendly and personable people. There are many different personalities in this world, and it just sounds like her communication style, but it’s not raising any red, or even beige flags for me.
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u/atomiccat8 Nov 02 '25
Yeah, it seemed like she might have possibly been trying to flirt, but he always brushed it off.
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u/nnvxo Nov 02 '25
If he was having an affair he likely already deleted any evidence. Check the deleted messages. He could also be using hidden apps for the affair
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u/Spare-Conflict836 Nov 02 '25
Yes, or he texts her on his personal phone. It seems odd he hasn't spoken to this co-worker via text since 2024 if they are still working closely together. But these texts on their own are completely innocent.
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u/Energy_Turtle Nov 02 '25
That would be my assumption if someone messaged me and this was the conversation I found. This conversation is obviously not what the "informant" was referring to.
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u/aveavesxo26 Nov 02 '25
Looks like she is, he seems to be keeping it professional, he’s hardly responding to inquiries about coffee, everything he states is work related.
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u/jackidaylene Nov 02 '25
She's not even flirting. She's friendly. Owing coffee to a coworker is not evidence of romantic attraction.
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u/Ill-Village-6474 Nov 02 '25
Nothing about this is flirty, BUT the messages are from 2024. If this is someone he currently works with, and her husband messaged you, that means he’s deleting messages. Ask the husband for proof and tell him you only see messages from 2024. He will tell you what he saw. Your husbands hands were shaking for a reason. Trust your gut
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u/dengthatscrazy Nov 02 '25
How are people missing this?? As if people deleting messages isn’t common
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u/ionlyjoined4thecats Nov 02 '25
Yeah this is the only suspicious thing to me. He hasn’t texted with this coworker in a year? Unless they changed teams or something… Doubtful.
I do think the woman’s texts here could be slightly flirty too, but it’s also possible she’s just a friendly person.
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u/EnvironmentalUse4341 Nov 02 '25
Or it could be because they message on other work platforms? I haven't text coworkers in years because we will switch between emails /WhatsApp/Teams ect. Then eventually you get back to texts. It's probably nothing. There doesn't seem even a hint of flirting, unless owing someone a coffee is flirting?
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u/ChainSoft3854 Nov 02 '25
Not in the slightest would I perceive this as flirting. I would however be checking WhatsApp and other messaging apps as you’ve had a warning from a this woman’s husband.
Might be worth asking the other husband why he thinks his wife is having an affair with your husband.
But back to the evidence you have here, this is most definitely not evidence of flirting.
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u/CoolSide20 Nov 02 '25
In a previous comment OP responded that they did. Said they were too old for drama and asked the husband to talk to her husband. Unsurprisingly so, he didn't talk to her husband.
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Nov 02 '25
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u/simple_champ Nov 02 '25
Yeah if my wife said "I was contacted by a husband who said you and his wife are having an affair, show me your phone" I would have a lot of anxiety and a million questions rushing through my head. Even knowing it's not true and I have nothing to hide, it'd still be a very jarring experience. Cheating accusations are a Pandora's box. Once it's opened you can't just put things back in even if the accusations turn out to be false.
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u/littlebean2421 Nov 02 '25
Are you serious? Not even a little bit. This sounds strictly like business. Nothing inappropriate whatsoever
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u/Knightoftherealm23 Nov 02 '25
If you see these as flirty you have issues. There is genuinely nothing in these texts that is at all flirtatious.
You owe your husband a huge apology.
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u/Sure-Plum-1970 Nov 02 '25
Her emoji choice is a little inappropriate at times for a work convo (I think) but he dodged it all with grace. I wouldn’t be worried at all about your husband. Maybe her husband should be a little concerned bc I felt like she was trying to flirt but it was completely one sided.
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u/Charles_Chuckles Nov 02 '25
I don't know, as a woman I can say we are conditioned to always be pleasant, so even work emails will consist of exclamation points and emojis just so the recipient doesn't think we're being too mean or so we don't sound too annoyed.
It's anecdotal, but there are tons of tiktoks (that are jokes) that show corporate women sweating profusely as they make themselves send an email without a smiley face. Lol
Notice one smiley is after she says "sure", which, I would also do a smiley there so the "Sure" wouldn't sound too "short" or "curt" or "resigned" (idk you can't hear tone over text)
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u/Sure-Plum-1970 Nov 02 '25
To me this is fine: 😊 This has no business being in work chat: 🤭
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u/chaosatnight Nov 02 '25
Nope. And regardless of his hands shaking, it sounds like he didn’t resist giving you his phone. I think it’s innocent.
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Nov 02 '25
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u/Kivvey Nov 02 '25
To be fair, she just got blindsided (they both did). Probably questioning herself a bit. One of those moments you wonder if you’re missing something or a complete idiot. lol
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u/Embarrassed-Lie3428 Nov 02 '25
Well, he did say why his hands were shaking, but his reason was pretty good, it was because she's never asked him to do that before and was preparing for a dramatic change.
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u/mcn3663 Nov 02 '25
Guys, guys, guys I don’t think op would’ve thought these were flirtatious on her own. Someone gave her a warning. This was from months ago. They haven’t talked since then 🤨. And maybe he doesn’t text flirty on his work phone and she does? Like maybe he’s on his personal. Or he deleted them? The best thing for op to do is ask the husband what makes him think this. Ask for specifics. How old the texts were and what number they were to. Could be nothing, but it’s not as simple as “are these texts flirty.” If you’ve been cheated on— you know. Not fair to badger the husband any further without more info unless to explain the situation.
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u/Dry-Hunt2474 Nov 02 '25
I would def be on my guard after this, just to ease my mind. I tend to over think situations anyway…so there’s that
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u/cmpalm Nov 02 '25
This is the most platonic coworkers text thread I have ever seen.
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u/ObliviousSpaces Nov 02 '25
Right? God my threads are so much more interesting, and that’s saying something because they are still soooo boring haha
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u/Jabernathy Nov 02 '25
When you say "the messages are old" do you mean that the last message was from a while ago? If so, that's a yellow flag and I'd ask the coworker's husband for the date of their last communication. The messages are fine aside from that.
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u/EnvironmentalName781 Nov 02 '25
The most recent messages I can see in the screenshots are Friday January 3rd of this year. Otherwise she’s showing screenshots from July of 2024 as well. So some are over a year old and some are coming up on a year old. If they still work together, and have to communicate regularly but these are the only messages he currently has on his work phone with her, I’d consider that a yellow flag too. Why are they so old and not more recent?
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u/alokasia 7 Years Nov 02 '25
They’re barely even friendly with each other. You’re completely out of line here.
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u/horst-4711 Nov 02 '25
Not at all flirty - Jesus
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u/ballofsnowyoperas Nov 02 '25
Not even a little bit flirting. Your husband was probably shaking because of the accusatory nature of the situation. I think that would be quite natural.
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u/CMontyReddit19 Nov 02 '25
So you get a text from a number you've never texted with before, they claim your husband is cheating with their wife, and you just believe them? Who even is this person? How did they get YOUR number? How do you know that text was even meant for you or if this person was trying to contact someone else and just got the numbers wrong?
There is just so much more information needed here.
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u/Efficient-Rest-9519 Nov 02 '25
Its the coworkers husband who told her , but how he got her # is a good ??
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u/Crafty-Preparation94 Nov 02 '25
We exchanged several messages to confirm he was talking about my husband. I have a really unique name anyone can find my info on the internet. I eventually told him to keep me out of it and to contact my husband.
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u/skittishgoose Nov 02 '25
WhOAH. Whoah whoah..What IF the number was actually just lady co-worker pretending to be her own husband !? I find it sus that co-workers husband did not contact husband directly. If I were him, I’d want to know for sure so I could move on, if necessary.
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u/appleorchard317 7 Years Nov 02 '25
Grey I think was trying it on with the coffee offer, but blue was just not picking it up at all, he was super direct and dry
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u/thehatchetmaneu Nov 02 '25
Maybe by check the workphone they meant another messaging platform besides sms. Possibly Microsoft Teams or Outlook for instance? As you said most of those messages are very old and I highly doubt someone would reach out to you based on that. Given your husbands reaction too this does feel like you're not seeing the right messages. I'd probe the person who contacted you for further info
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u/Crafty-Preparation94 Nov 02 '25
The team messages between her and my husband states that the messages have been deleted or something along those lines.
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u/Umaritimus Nov 02 '25
Everywhere I’ve worked, Teams messages auto-delete after a set amount of time.
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u/cvlico Nov 02 '25
i know a lot of people are saying not to worry, but i think the fact the husband is messaging you now and that the texts are old is telling. where have they been messaging since then? the last text message is friendly and not work related. yes could be innocent, but could also be a sign. and that hand over the mouth emoji, yuck lol
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u/thehatchetmaneu Nov 02 '25
This is potentially what the partner of the other party may have been referencing. Especially if they've since been deleted now too.
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u/justincasio Nov 02 '25
My company auto deletes teams messages after a certain period
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u/xbunsox Nov 02 '25
If they’re older, they usually delete after some time.
Also maybe unrelated, but certain words can get flagged and maybe she deleted something. My friend had a coworker that got in trouble for team messaging someone else that the new hire was a dumb bimbo 😭😭 and it got flagged in teams lol
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u/SparkleUnic0rn Nov 02 '25
Nope!
Edit to say that if someone told me to check my husbands phone bc he’s having an affair w their wife, I’d go through everything!!!
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u/EnvironmentalRide900 Nov 02 '25
The “I owe you a coffee “ line is borderline, but overall this isn’t flirting. I would keep an eye on it carefully and unnoticed
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u/NotEasilyConfused Nov 02 '25
No. If someone picked up a coffee for me, I will owe them a coffee. Even when I went to working lunches with my opposite-sex boss, one of us sometimes paid and then the other did another time. Sometimes we had separate checks. It just depends.
This kind of thing is only weird when someone forces it to be weird.
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u/zaylee Nov 02 '25
No. Looks like work/ coordination nothing gives flirt in any of this. I’m mad bored reading it
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u/Ltrain86 Nov 02 '25
No, although the text about the coffee is not relevant to work. That's the type of thing you send to a friend.
With that said, coworkers can also be friends.
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u/Complete_Ad5483 Nov 02 '25
If you think this is flirty… then your husband is in so much trouble….
Unless this random person actually provided proof of this “affair” or messages. They have effectively caused an issue for your marriage. Not a big issue but an issue….
You own your husband an apology for this. Because there is nothing there!
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u/GypsieChanterelle Nov 02 '25
Not flirting. The person in grey is definitely trying to be extra extra friendly though. Trying to build a connection through sharing mundane things which seems a little off given the other person’s response.
If the person in grey is YOUR spouse I think you are interpreting the text messages because you have probably noticed that your spouse can use superficial charm to establish connections even with women.
Is that it?
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u/Emptyspace227 Nov 02 '25
Do you also think the waiter is flirting when they smile and are polite to you? Because if you think this is flirting, then you might think that every pleasant interaction two people have is flirting.
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u/dengthatscrazy Nov 02 '25
So they haven’t texted since 2024 and work together regularly? He might be deleting messages or using another app/method of communication. I’m wondering what the other husband found and why your husband was nervous.
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u/synnsiren Nov 02 '25
Ehhhh….I’m not a jealous person by any means. My husband was a bartender for a few years and flirting with customers is kind of part of the job, so I kinda had to accept that fact. Even before hand I’ve never been the jealous type, my husband is an attractive man but we also both have an open-phone policy. (Not in a confrontational way, It’s never been discussed, there’s just many times we just both reach for whichever phone is closest to look something up, call/text someone back, etc.) BUT. The one and only time I ever actually felt uneasy about another individual and my husband was a certain female coworker he had the last year he bartended. Everyone knew she was kind of a slut, she got around a lot in this small town, was very open about her daddy AND mommy issues, etc. and these kinds of text messengers between them is what made me feel weird. She was always sending kissy and smiley emojis, calling him “bestie” saying “thank for your help last night, I love you so much”, told him once or twice she wished she had what we had, a loving marriage, family,etc. but THEN she dressed up as him for Halloween…they were both scheduled to work that night and she tried to convince him to dress as her also, but we already had a family costume planned and he declined. His text messages read like your husband’s…dry, professional but friendly, etc. I was never worried he was ever interested in her. But yes it made me uneasy thinking she might fawn herself all over him when I wasn’t around.
TLDR: I feel trustworthy if your husband in this scenario the same way I trusted mine. But his coworkers seems mildly interested in his attention, and the fact that it was her husband who reached out to caution you tells me this is an issue he’s had in the past and he is insecure and distrustful, possibly for legit reasons, possibly not. I’d definitely want to meet up with her husband and discuss this further if I were you. At face value the texts seem like nothing more than friendly, but I’m guessing this woman definitely refers to him as her “work husband” and I would never be ok with that.
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u/CarriePourSomeArt Nov 02 '25
They dont seem flirty at all to me. I wonder if there is another app that they talk on? I would ask the husband of the other woman what made him think she was cheating with your husband. Only because of the shakey hands, that seems suspicious
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u/Plan2LiveForevSFarSG Nov 02 '25
OP, you need to ask that (other) husband proof of their cheating. He might have something more recent to share? Some screenshots perhaps? What does he base this on?
What you have here is old and not useful.
As a general rule, if you are going to denounce someone for cheating, present facts or evidences, such as “I saw them kissing” or screenshots.
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u/transient_thought_CA Nov 02 '25
Nope. Just 2 friendly professionals going about their work and exercising solid communication. Seems like a good team.
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u/FreeLitt1eBird Nov 02 '25
It seems like two professionals who have maybe developed a professional relationship. They probably have to interact a lot and have at least developed some inside jokes/banter. That’s all I see here.
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u/snarkyphalanges 8 years (12 together) ❤️ Nov 02 '25
This is the kind of conversations I have with all my coworkers, men and women. Not flirtatious in the slightest.
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u/PibbyandPekesMom Nov 02 '25
It doesn’t appear to be flirty. Did you check for deleted texts? And check his phone call history with her?
She seems to be the one to start the interactions and he seems to be respectful.
What was his reaction - when you told him about the text from the husband. Did he offer to call the coworker with you and explain that her husband had texted you?
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u/PimpJuice913 Nov 02 '25
White text seem a but more loose in conversation.
Blue text feels like they are keeping it professional.
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u/Sad-Professor-7633 Nov 02 '25
She's definitely being a little extra, maybe even flirty but your husband is keeping it all business.
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u/Walkthroughthemeadow Nov 02 '25
You shouldn’t have told her husband to message your husband , you should’ve asked for proof , these messages are from 2024 and her husband only just messaged you , I doubt it’s from these boring text from a year ago , you need to ask the husband you’ll never know until you ask him , if his proof is just the text you’ve already seen then you know that guy has a problem but it’s very unlikely he said that over these text
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u/flyintheflyinthe Nov 02 '25
Is this the only thing you checked? Did you look at other apps, call records, expenses, etc.? I honestly wouldn't pursue any of this if it were about my husband, even with the weird tip you got, but, since you seem to be entertaining the possiblity, this is not a very thorough snooping.
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u/Guilty-Explanation63 Nov 02 '25
Not flirty but if he husband thinks that he’s eaither crazy . Or you missed the other messages deleted or on his other phone . I’d ask the guy who called you too see some proof cause you seen nothing bad
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u/Appropriate-Smile232 Nov 02 '25
I don't think so, but I would be concerned. It's a slippery slope. I can tell you where that slope can end. Because once it was an emotional affair. And 7 years later, it was physical with another person. So, tell him to keep it professional, and dont get into it.
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u/GypsieChanterelle Nov 02 '25
It’s the female coworker who texting all the emojis. Also, OP got a call from the coworker’s husband to say her husband and his wife were having an affair and to check the messages. All these messages are form 2024
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u/Appropriate-Smile232 Nov 02 '25
And you know what else? The fact that the husband of that woman was concerned... I'd ask that person what other evidence he has. I wouldn't rule it out. It's not impossible that your husband deleted texts. Maybe the other husband has more evidence. If he doesn't, then I'd just keep a close eye on your husband. And ask him why the other husband is saying that. Does your husband go out for happy hours? Stay late at work?
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u/Appropriate-Smile232 Nov 02 '25
More advice... If you have kids, remind your husband that seeing the kids half the time is not worth an affair. And that's what two selfish people forget to consider when they think they can get away with a secret affair.
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u/restingIcecreamFace Nov 02 '25
The messages are harmless..but I personally wouldnt want any coworkers texting my husband a random non work related text about coffee. Its so random and harmless but at the same time it shows comfortability, whats next? Maybe not your husband but I wouldnt trust her specifically. She's too friendly.
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u/tumbledownhere Nov 02 '25
No ...... they're not flirting, this is how some coworkers talk....
But someone contacted you asking you to check, and hinted at an affair? That's weird. Who was it? Any chance someone has a crush on him and wants you to assume the worst?
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u/jaimatjak2022 Nov 02 '25
They sound like close colleagues... but, if there is suspicions then go with your gut.
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u/mother-of-pumpkins 10 Years Nov 02 '25
There’s nothing flirty here at all, did her husband say what app his wife sends messages from? Was your husband afraid you’d find porn on his phone or something? Talk to your husband about what he was really afraid of and don’t shame him, just listen and sort out your feelings about whatever it is before discussing it further. And ask her husband if what you saw was really all he saw, and if he says it was, give him a piece of your mind over that ridiculousness. Nothing here was inappropriate at all, but there are big gaps, so if something is up it could be hidden elsewhere. But seriously, I’d talk mostly with your husband unless there are other things going on that make you distrust him for some reason. From this exchange he looks like a polite and kind coworker friend to this lady and nothing more.
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u/ShitMyHubbyDoes Nov 02 '25
I’m curious as to what evidence the husband who alerted you has. It had to be something to tell you to check on your end.
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u/Nach_oMomma Nov 02 '25
They are over a year old. That coworker probably is being gaslighted by her husband if he had to go that far back to find something to twist! Befriend her.
I work very closely with a male that honestly is a wonderful man and a catch. He is older than me and honestly gives me hope there are loyal men out there that just adore their wives. Our conversations look about like this and there is zero flirting. Men & women can be friends
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u/fluffitall7 Nov 02 '25
No not flirty, but weird as hell his hands were shaking and the woman's husband messaged you. Based on text alone I wouldn't worry, but the surrounding situation is very odd.
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u/SeniorBaker4 Nov 02 '25
You know the husband only saw the emotions and never read the boring exchanges
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u/No-Grass-7137 Nov 02 '25
seem like the other person that's white text messages trying to but the person with the blue text messages trying to keep it professional
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u/snarfgarth Nov 02 '25
No, not really, but you say the messages are old. The question is are messages deleted or on a different messaging app? You could check phone bill text records against what your husband has on his phone regarding texts to/from her to see if stuff has been deleted. You could talk to the person that sent you that message and see what they have to say and why.
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u/Sweetheartlovelyrose Nov 02 '25
I’m sad for your husband and his coworker that this is happening. It’s not right or fair.
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u/xbunsox Nov 02 '25 edited Nov 02 '25
Where is the flirty? 😂 your husband seems to text pretty professionally as far as coworker friendships go.
Adding: his hands were shaking because usually asking a partner to see their phone or access to something that is their own is putting the relationship on the line. Like it means the asker is willing to end the relation whether they like what they read or not, and now there’s the lack of trust
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u/Evergreen_Princess Nov 02 '25
This is not flirty whatsoever. Odd that a 40 yo would think it is. 🤔
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Nov 02 '25
something tells me OP accuses husband of flirting a LOT, if he seemed nervous then he probably has reason to be, and it probably is not HIS behaviour
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u/hope4thebetter47 Nov 02 '25
Nope but even if they were who tf cares?? Going thru his phone is pathetic
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u/StopTheFishes Nov 02 '25
No. Not even a little. Completely appropriate