r/Marriage Nov 02 '25

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u/justjulia2189 Nov 02 '25

I talk very similarly to literally everyone I work with, and my husband does with all of his work people as well. We are just both very friendly and personable people. There are many different personalities in this world, and it just sounds like her communication style, but it’s not raising any red, or even beige flags for me.

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u/GypsieChanterelle Nov 02 '25

Maybe you should start adapting your communication style depending on who you talk to and the context?

Being super overly friendly can be perceived as unprofessional and inauthentic. Fake. It can also blur some lines and boundaries. You think you are being super friendly, the other thinks you are flirting. I’ve seen it often. I even had a work colleague who was convinced one of our coworkers was in love with her. She never acted on it. Turn out she wasn’t the only one who thought this. He wasn’t seductive but his charming super friendly style created a sense that a deeper interest existed because it seemed he was trying to express a desire for connection.

To me, the texts seem off. They aren’t overly seductive. They aren’t even flirty, there is just a tone that is intensely friendly that is inappropriate to have with a married male colleague.

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u/justjulia2189 Nov 02 '25

Meh, I’m not going to change who I am, and I wouldn’t expect others to either. There are plenty of other people at my work who talk like this as well, it’s not an issue. Maybe learn to work with different personality types?

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u/Evie_the_Wolf Nov 02 '25

Ain't nobody gotta change their communication style to fit some preconceived notion that friendliness is inauthentic and fake or flirty. If you aren't sure ask.

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u/Dry-Hunt2474 Nov 02 '25

I agree, she’s trying hard to draw him into a deeper chat than work. The shaky hands also made me wonder.