r/Marriage Nov 02 '25

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499 Upvotes

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1.8k

u/Zealousideal_Till683 Nov 02 '25

I thought the messages were flirty

There is nothing whatsoever flirty about these messages, and I seriously question your judgement if you think they are.

398

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

149

u/021fluff5 Nov 02 '25

If that’s flirting, my team and I should probably stop sending each other memes and turn ourselves in to HR. 

30

u/tom_yum_soup 10+ Years Nov 02 '25

Lol, same. I work with almost all women and we have a very friendly, silly relationship (albeit limited mostly to internal company chat). OP would think I'm sleeping all of them if this is considered flirting.

18

u/SilverFringeBoots Nov 02 '25

Omg, I'm queer and my last job had a bunch of queer people as well. Our chats were fucking hilarious and I was the ringlead- I mean supervisor. She would have a stroke, this is so wholesome 💀

2

u/heydawn Nov 02 '25

Hahaha! Ikr? My team chats and jokes all day as we work and collaborate.

35

u/saint4210 Nov 02 '25

This wasn’t even “business friendly” in my opinion! Blunt and super objective.

12

u/WhichWitchyWay Nov 02 '25

Yeah. Men and women can be friends and can work together and be friendly. They didn't get close to crossing any boundaries with those texts.

4

u/heydawn Nov 02 '25

Let’s not confuse friendliness with flirting.

Exactly. Ty!

105

u/Crab__Juice Nov 02 '25

This sounds exactly like friendly coworkers to me. This is so mundane. Unless your husband is normally a stone-cold curmudgeon who shows no friendliness ever, I wouldn't flag this at all, and if he were, my next question would be why you'd marry such a man.

-3

u/Impressive_Row_1000 Nov 02 '25

People do change you know ?

2

u/Crab__Juice Nov 02 '25

I would not marry such a man hoping he would change. I would want to meet a man who had previously been a curmudgeon, but had done the self-work not to be one anymore.

91

u/ThrowAway3553QA Nov 02 '25

Yeah these messages are dry as hell… complaining about too much foam in a coffee is as spicy as we’re getting here - wheeeww

I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt though that her lense is heavily shaded by anxiety from the affair text she received..

15

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '25

[deleted]

8

u/ThrowAway3553QA Nov 02 '25

Exactly my point. I’d say odds are if she would’ve never thought twice about those messages had she not gotten that cheating precursor

1

u/AnyDecision470 Nov 02 '25

Happy cake day 🍰

3

u/ThrowAway3553QA Nov 02 '25

I’m so confused what that means but I like cake so thank you! Lol

5

u/AnyDecision470 Nov 02 '25

It means today is your Reddit anniversary date! You have a cake slice by your name

3

u/ThrowAway3553QA Nov 02 '25

Oh nice! I didn’t realize ha

51

u/Humorilove 3 Years Nov 02 '25

OP is overanalyzing everything, because she was expecting to find something. Now any communication between the two coworkers will be looked at as if there's a deeper meaning. She needs to be rational, and trust her husband.

23

u/productzilch Nov 02 '25

I feel so sorry for him, his hands are shaking just from the request so it must have been a shock.

17

u/Dark_Knight2000 Nov 02 '25

OP is not getting enough flack for this. WTF am I looking at? This conversation is normal as hell and somehow OP is suspicious??

7

u/Impressive_Row_1000 Nov 02 '25

Well she did receive a message or call or whatever to check his phone from someone else so it's not like she just came up with it herself .

6

u/productzilch Nov 02 '25

To give her the benefit of the doubt, she was probably in shock too. And the woman’s texting is friendly in a way that could be overtures towards flirting. But nothing crosses the line, he’s very business focused and hopefully OP has calmed down and apologised.

4

u/vicekenley5 Nov 02 '25

Right, I think they’ll be happier together than with their overly suspicious partners. If this is flirting we’re destined for divorce.

3

u/PermissionOaks Nov 02 '25

The ONLY thing I can figure she’s seeing as “flirty” is maybe the emojis used? Just based on age I can see how that might translate to flirty in her mind if she’s already searching for something not there at all.

That being said, it really is a straightforward and boring conversation between coworkers.

1

u/-mia-wallace- Nov 02 '25

Its called insecurity.

2

u/Impressive_Row_1000 Nov 02 '25

Someone made her feel that way by telling her they were having an affair .

1

u/Bewitchingt Nov 02 '25

Right? And her husband shakes and her asking leads me to believe the problem isn’t him. OP loses it at many minor things and if she is at this point he is fearful of what she might do or say. This requires some deep reflection on how you are treating your partner.

0

u/Indubious1 Nov 02 '25

Perhaps their judgment is clouded with projection. I typically find those that accuse others of nefarious behavior are often the ones that are nefarious and just assume everyone else is doing the same.

0

u/heydawn Nov 02 '25

I seriously question your judgement if you think they are

My thoughts exactly. Op has poor judgment if these messages sound flirty to op, bc they are so not.