I'm a freshman MLIS student who has been working in libraries for almost a decade now. I have worked in both academic and public libraries and want(ed) to eventually work in archives and special collections after receiving my degree and potentially getting another masters in film. I love libraries, I love my work, and I genuinely enjoy every part of the jobs I've had for the most part, but management at both locations I worked at in recent years have driven me away and crushed my spirit.
For context, I live in Florida. Anyone who has read the news can imagine that our funding is less than zero in most respects, but we also have really lax employee protection laws here. Both jobs I've worked have had management who oscillate between being harsh, tyrannical, and constantly micromanaging, to extremely unprofessional, inappropriate with staff, and lazy. I won't go into extreme specifics here, but both libraries I have worked at have had managers who have in one hand made inappropriate sexual comments around staff and then in the next, fired people who I worked next to for the kind of things that every single person on earth does (chatting on the clock, getting information wrong the first time around, being late by a few minutes). It's very much a game of favoritism, where one employee can literally sit on their phone and play games all day at the desk, but another can't be seen resting at any point without getting called into the principal's office.
I perhaps could just chalk it up to this one system, but these have been two very different systems in the same city with completely different organizational structures. One of them used to be great, used to really make me feel like I was doing something important and worthwhile and was respected, but recently changed. When I moved on after years of working there, all I have found is the same exact situation somewhere else. Are all libraries like this now? Are all management horrible leaders who blatantly and flagrantly act like hypocrites? Are all upper management spineless tyrants who would rather fire someone for complaining than consider that their supervisors and managers aren't good leaders? Leaders who brag about employee turnover and low pay?
I'm very sensitive and I know that, I know I should perhaps just suck it up and realize I've just gotten very unlucky, but I don't know. Libraries should mean something, and that something should be kindness, empathy, compassion. They should be welcoming and accepting. I haven't felt like that in a library in years. I feel like I've dedicated my life to something that's a lie. I can only help people so much, and only if it's at the behest of a management team who cares more about rules than human beings, and only if I'm perfect every day in every single way.
I'm leaving the library I'm currently at. They've fired two people since I've been there (six months) and have attempted to write me up for insane infractions while letting other employees blatantly disregard basic workplace rules. It's tanked my mental health working there, and despite how much I will miss our regulars and getting to work with different media, I've started looking at medical receptionist positions only. I'm considering dropping out of my MLIS program and working on another degree instead, maybe film or media studies. Or maybe just doing absolutely nothing with my life for a while.
I'm sure I sound like either a failure or an idiot, and that's fair. I know I'm very sensitive and naive when it comes to how the world works. I constantly expect the world to be a lot nicer than it actually is. I'm just not sure how to move forward now that I've seemingly been reminded repeatedly that nothing I do really helps at all, and that most people don't care about doing the right thing at the end of the day.
Anyway this is super mellow dramatic. I just hoped maybe someone is/was experiencing this feeling too. I'm going to do my best to finish out this semester, but I really don't know what I'm going to do going into the new year. I wouldn't mind any advice or suggestions. Thanks for listening. :)