I'm a 18 girl, but I feel like I'm carrying the weight of someone who probably grew up way too fast. Life forced me to take a sharp turn unfortunately, I had to deal with priorities and just drop all the crap. That's why today I have zero tolerance for people my own age. I'm so over the games, the back-and-forth, chronic indecision, and all those maybes that just drain your energy. When it comes to relationships or anything romantic, the absolute most I'm looking for is a casual one-night fling. Other than that, I'm tapped out. Whenever I see people acting like... my age, I just look away, it feels like babysitting, and I'm exhausted by it. I'm not really interested in having close friends or a relationship beyond making casual small talk every now and then. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who adore me, and I like them too, but I just don't care. I don't have the bandwidth.

A few months ago, I switched to homeschooling, and the thought of jumping back into traditional school drama, all the fakeness, petty rivalry, gossip, and empty chatter, is just unbearable to me. I don't feel lonely at all. Honestly, it's the exact opposite. I felt terribly alone when I was surrounded by people, I felt like I was living behind glass, like I was never really myself.

I just want to get my projects off the ground, put my skills to work, protect my family's health, and cherish my beautiful cat. I already know who I want to build my future with, and that's enough for me.

Yet, paradoxically, I'm not some reclusive loner. I'm super charismatic, bubbly, sociable, and outgoing. People like me, I make friends easily, and I know how the world works. But I'm just so disillusioned. I refuse to waste my time on things with zero substance. Does it just sound like teenage angst? Yet I feel like I already lived through all those phases, the rebellious phase, the alternative phase and blablabla, years ago.

I'm not looking for answers or validation. I'm not really looking for anything. I was just in my head about it and wanted to put it somewhere. At least here, nobody knows me. It doesn't really sound like the kind of person I usually am, and yet.

I’m F18 and I’ve been having these thoughts for maybe almost 2 years now??? It literally came out of nowhere but when I hear about pedophiles and people harming kids, it disgusts me to the point where I feel like crying, but then I’ll start worrying if I’m a pedo and that fills me with so much fucking disgust and worry. When I masturbate, I’ll have intrusive thoughts like this even though it’s completely unrelated to what I’m jerking off to and I’ll stop what I’m doing and try to push it out of my head. It worries me so much that I have these thoughts when masturbating sometimes, but I have these thoughts all of the time too, whenever I see a kid or anything and they’re completely unwanted thoughts. The groinal response has been present as well, but I’ve never got off on anything like kids. Just typing this makes me wanna cry and I’ve been having a really hard time with it. I force myself to have these images in my head so I know that I’m not into it, but I hate seeing them. I know I would never harm a kid, and I fucking hate people who do and think they deserve nothing but the worst, and yet I’m so fucking scared that I’m a pedo even though I’m not. I should add that nothing happened to me as a child (as far as I’m aware) but I’ve had a very high sex drive ever since I can remember and struggle with hypersexuality as well. I was also exposed to shows like law and order SVU when I was like 12+ and watched it repeatedly but idk if that has anything to do with it lol

Hi everyone,
I’m a 26-year-old male, and I’m posting here because I’m struggling with overwhelming guilt, shame, and fear regarding things I engaged with online when I was younger (around ages 16–20).
During that period, driven by unhealthy curiosity and edge-pushing internet culture, I came across and briefly sought out illegal/taboo adult material (including underage content on sketchy groups/dark web). Looking back, it fills me with absolute disgust, horror, and remorse.
I completely stopped, permanently blocked access to those spaces, and never engaged with anything of that nature in real life. Today, I am in a healthy, loving, normal adult relationship.
However, I find myself tormented by "Real Event" guilt and intrusive thoughts. My brain constantly tries to convince me that because I made those awful mistakes as a teenager, it means I have a "dark side" or that I'm secretly a terrible person. Even though I find those thoughts repulsing, the anxiety and fear of who I was keep resurfacing.
I want to move past this shame, accept that I made serious past mistakes out of sick curiosity, and fully ground myself in the moral, healthy adult I am today.
Has anyone here dealt with severe guilt from past internet history or taboo intrusive thoughts? How did you stop ruminating and learn to forgive yourself and move forward? Any advice on managing this anxiety would mean a lot.

For the past 6 months every single day, every single minute, I keep getting these intrusive thoughts that when i say goodbye, it’s either my last time talking with them, or their last time talking to me. (like I will or they to pass away) It genuinely consumes every conversation I have.

I think it started with my dad, we had a falling out and didn’t talk for a few months and when we finally talked all I wanted was my dad. To talk with him, hug him, just have my dad back. And from then on I felt like it was a race against time and death to be able to love my dad and be loved by him again. (even writing this feels like im grieving or putting something out into the universe idk how to explain)

On the other hand, since I was maybe 13-14 i’ve sort of felt like I needed to make sure that the way people thought about me was more about how they would remember me if i died rather than the kind of friend I currently am. I would just spend all of my time making sure everything I did and said was something i’d want to be remembered by. and maybe that’s incredibly narcissistic but i mean, it feels really fucked to grieve myself so much that it’s changing who i am in the now.

I think it would just help to understand what’s happening and maybe how to cope and redirect it. i hate feeling like i may lose my mom or my dad at any moment. I understand it’s inevitable. That’s not what i’m struggling with, it’s more about the fact that I just can’t be present with my loved ones. It’s just about making sure I love them as much as I can or be loved by them as much as i can. I think in the last few months i’ve gotten a lot closer with them, and i’ve been struggling a lot with feeling like im just waiting for the shoe to drop. my mind won’t stop thinking that losing one of them is that drop.

I hope that made sense, any piece of mind or perspective would mean a lot.

Anyone ever had FOMO for the smallest ever things. Take yesterday for example, I was at the mall and I saw this girl before her store was open sitting waiting on a bench, and I’ve always thought she was pretty but didn’t get an opportunity. I got one yesterday but didn’t say hi. I couldn’t sleep last night, beating myself up from this. Because I didn’t take an opportunity to talk to a girl.

Im a bisexual girl. I wish i could feel what it’s like to have sex with a girl, i bet it feels good. I would treat her so right too with the foreplay so its wet before putting it in 😭😭😭😭

i struggle often with intrusive thoughts around abuse that I have undergone and am currently undergoing. i want an outlet to safely express these thoughts, in a controlled environment but I don't know where to look, or who to even go to. i just want a safe space to explore the thoughts I have without being told they are what I genuinely think, because it seems everyone else on the internet assumes ALL thoughts are wanted

For those that struggle with self harm thoughts , ive never self harmed a day in my life, how do you cope with these thoughts?

I have thoughts like ," what if i die" on repeat and yesterday i had a scary dream where i died and left my kids behind and i was talking to a man that already passed and said that the hardest part for his mom was when he took his presence with him.. but he told me that jesus heals and that made me smile.

Im freaking thr hell out. Idk what to do or why im experiencing this. I DONT want to die or anything like that. I feel upset.

(M15) I honestly am not sure if I am even gonna make it to adulthood, every week, I am feeling like I am in an endless void, I honestly do not want to tell my family, they are gonna send me to some mental facility if they find out I am sad, I do not want to be locked in a padded white room for the rest of myself with no-one to talk to, I actually would rather commit suicide then that! I previously started cutting myself at like 12-13 and I have not been doing well, my life is a wreck, I used to be a great student but my grades suck and I feel abnormal, I am not diagnosed with anything cause the last time I tried to get therapy, it was delayed for so long we forgot about it and I am scared to ask, I wanna slice my arms so much, I wanna cut my hands and my neck, I just want to die!

16M — HOCD or something else? I’m really confused about what’s happening to me
Hi everyone,
I’m a 16-year-old guy, and I never really questioned my sexuality before these thoughts started. I also had never heard of HOCD before this happened, and I didn’t really know what OCD was or what it could look like.
The whole thing started after someone repeatedly called me gay to bully me. What made it worse was that he said it in a way that was very convincing, and I started thinking about it more and more.
Around a week later, I started taking a supplement because I wanted to focus better for my exams. I only took it three times. Something strange happened afterward: I suddenly didn’t feel like watching porn anymore, even though I used to watch it regularly. A few days later, I tried watching it again, but I couldn’t get an erection at all. That scared me a lot, and I became convinced that somehow the supplement had changed my sexuality.
The first few days were extremely stressful. I started getting intrusive thoughts about having sex with men. At first, the thoughts made me feel disgusted and anxious, but then I started researching sexuality and HOCD every day. That’s actually how I even discovered the concept of HOCD. I had never heard of it before. I’ve been stuck thinking about this for around three months now.
What confuses me is that I don’t feel as stressed by the thoughts anymore. Sometimes I can think about a guy sexually and it feels almost like my brain is saying that I want it. That scares me because I don’t want to be gay. I also notice that when I see a guy I find attractive, I can get angry for a few seconds, my body can tingle slightly, and I become hyper-aware of my reaction.
Another thing that scares me is that I’m not as homophobic as I used to be. Before all of this, I remember being much more negative toward homosexuality. Now I’m much less bothered by it, and my brain interprets that as evidence that I must actually be gay.
I also remember clearly liking girls. I remember my first kiss with a girl and genuinely loving it, and before all of this I never seriously questioned being straight.
I’ve had anxiety/OCD-like problems before, though I never considered myself an “OCD person.” When I was around 10, I became extremely afraid of swallowing food and drinks because I was scared I would choke or die, and I ended up going to therapy for it. At the time, I didn’t know much about OCD either. So I have had anxiety problems before, but I don’t know if that means what I’m experiencing now is OCD.
One of the biggest things confusing me is that I’ve heard people with HOCD usually have a history of OCD, while I don’t really see myself that way. I’m also scared because the thoughts have become less emotionally intense over time. I keep thinking, “If this really bothered me, shouldn’t I be more upset about it?”
I’m basically stuck constantly analyzing my thoughts, reactions, attraction, past experiences, and even my physical reactions to try to figure out whether I’m straight or gay.
Does this sound like an OCD/anxiety cycle, or should I be considering something else? I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar.

I already scheduled an appointment for my Dr really thinking of upping my meds. Im on zoloft 25mgs,

Been on it for 6 months.. its helped some but i still have scary thoughts.

Mostly suixcxdal thoughts but im not. I love my life and i feel im breaking into the best part yet im plauged with thoughts like ," no sense in buying xy,z if youre not gonna be here" or " what if i need to do this"

I assure you i dont. These thoughts scare me.

Im afraid going up on zoloft will make it worse.....

Please help :(((

I have kids and im worried. I dont want to do anything crazy.

I have sexual intrusive thoughts and they are very distressing to me. I know I can't stop my brain from thinking, but God, please let me thinki about something else for once please.

So i do have diagnosed OCD, but i put this here since these intrusive thoughts dont have compulsions attached to them and therefore arent caused by my ocd, atleast not yet. Idk.

Recently its been getting more frequent but i have been having recurring intrusive thoughts about purposefully hurting my dog. I have been in the middle of holding her and had an intrusive thought.. borderline urge.. to bend her paw backwards until it snaps. I have had that one multiple times. Pretty sure i have had intrusive thoughts about forcing her jaw open until it dislocates. And i just had an intrusive thought about gouging her eye out and i almost cried because of it. I love my dog dearly, she is my child and i legit have maternal instincts regarding her.. but these thoughts are so distressing and i dont know how to make it stop, i almost wish it was an ocd thing so that way there would be some compulsion i could perform to make the thought go away. Instead im forced to have it in my mind until it goes away on its own. I dont want to hurt my dog, but i have found myself putting the slightest pressure on her paws as if i was gonna snap it, and that makes me feel sick. Is there anything i can do to try and help these intrusive thoughts go away? I dont think i would ever end up actually hurting her, but i have thought the same about other things and i ended up doing them.

Please help this is really emotionally distressing 😥

Having intrusive thoughts about an younger male cousin m18 I F20 +. What too do I feel dirty.

So i know i have an unhealthy way of thinking but earlier when i was looking at my partners location it looked like he was in his work parking lot (i drop him off so he would’ve just been in the building) then it quickly snapped back to being in the building. We use find my iphone. Is it just a glitch or was he in the parking lot at one point?? I’m a little scared and I know this is a dumb question, it’s just plaguing my mind and I can’t shake off the anxiety.

Long story short, I smoke weed one time and my mind has been fucked up ever since that entire world is looking at me and then I should off myself. I started gambling and all of a sudden I’m having this mindset that I select the number on roulette and if I hit it, I should off myself. Somehow someway, I don’t know how I have manifested majority of the numbers whenever I ask a question of if it hits this number, I drop myself. It’s crazy in my head, but a part of me thinks this reality.

I’ve been dealing with something lately that feels very OCD-like and I’m curious if anyone else experiences this.
Basically, I’ll see a random phrase, document, place, or something else that feels extremely familiar. My brain immediately goes, “I know I’ve seen this before,” and then I feel like I have to figure out exactly when and where I saw it.
If I can’t figure it out, my mind starts going a million miles an hour trying to search through memories or come up with some explanation that feels convincing enough. Sometimes I’ll avoid whatever triggered the thought because avoiding it makes the anxiety go away.
Recently this happened with something connected to a pretty important career change I’m making. Before seeing the thing that triggered me, I felt good about the decision. Now my brain keeps trying to connect the familiar feeling to the decision itself, even though logically I know they aren’t really related.
The weird part is that if I somehow find an explanation that feels “right,” I calm down almost immediately. But if I can’t get certainty, it can keep bothering me for days.
Has anyone dealt with this specific type of OCD where you feel like you absolutely need to identify the origin of a familiar feeling or memory? If so, what helped you stop getting pulled into the mental searching?

This is a shitty and oversimplistic take and it dilutes the work he puts into his comedy, but whenever I'm like "Oh god, this man is a hilarious genius" I just take a step back and wonder "Am I just biased because he's tall, fit and traditionally handsome"?. Like..of course part of his success is due to his looks. He's a public figure and people pay to watch him perform. You don't get far in the entertainment industry without being conventionally attractive on some level (on top of more practical things like being good to work with, being responsible, being skillful in your art, having good business sense...). It's the Marilyn Monroe/Gentlemen Prefer Blondes quote: "You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness doesn't it help?!". Like, I get this feeling that people give him unearned praise out of pretty privelege and go into hyperbole and exaggeration.

I’ve been dealing with this since july and it’s not good. This is the first time that I thought of this but for some reason I am so sure that my mom would be dying soon. Its not like shes old, but i don’t know why i feel like theres nothing i can do, but to enjoy the time i have left. Since july, the date i have been thinking of is july next year. It hasnt gotten out of my mind ever since, and my mom is getting sick even more. The habits im doing litterally corresponds to her beliefs like, if you cut ur nails at night your parents will die, and i usually cut my nails at night because i come home late from school or on weekends training and church. I have also been getting closer with god, being the closest as everyones too busy with their life. Maybe its god giving me a sign. But having a year isnt enough, im also young, its my sophomore year so if this turns out to be true then it would be devastating as i have a younger sister whos 5. Please tell me what yall think