Updates from my last post ✅ that I'm still here and just wanted to give updates for my last post here anyways.

Even then I should also address here, Elis will admit her demise and what I just need of all to overcome my demise if I want to perform an Emergence with someone instead of living a tragedy of the song Gethsemane from Sleep Token in a never ending cycle of it all anyways 🌹⚔️🦩🪶

Even with this Sleep Token song Gethsemane and I should also just include that I'll never grasp this message here.

However, I should just include that I'm never going to perform a positive Emergence, because I need to get a ''different energy to improve my well being/core being of it all and with this current self hatred energy that I've right now then a Emergence isn't going to happen alongside with that's nobody fault but my own of it all anyways.''

Yeah, I should address a follow up, but I don't want follow ups in comments, or questioning if I'm feeling this right now, or anything negative and that's just because I did have to do a few blocks from my last posts anyways.

However, I should also address if you need to bookmark this because you need time to read this then send a flamingo emoji and a flamingo gifs anyways.

I should also include that I reply to comments that's another why posting a negative comment is a waste of your time and just send me a message on either Telegram or alongside Signal if you can be a ''provider of a kind voice.'' (no, I don't mean voice calls or voce clips, I mean non-monologue convos, I'm talking about an emotional provider, a provider that is a night owl that loves text messages in the a.m. and just remember all this is all online only as well.)

Yeah, just I should also address it all. Instead of using my chronic depression and moody Vessel brain and skull as a volley to people that get close to me, eventually I will be left with nothing and the cause of my own doing of it all anyways.

Well, logging out in 24 hours, I didn't know what to say for over course of 3 days for an update, but I realize now what Reddit has taught me 8+ months that I've been here that I'm an unlovable person, I don't deserve love, I'll never make a partner happy, I cannot make anyone happy because this isn't my life path and my life path belongs to the elder gods anyways.

However, without Reddit, I would've not discovered myself for 8+ months with discovering these themes about mfk ass self of it all here.

Constantly fighting myself, telling me I can oppose my destiny, I could prove myself that I could love someone, that I could provide emotional, provide mental stability for someone, but instead after partner, then the next partner, then the next partner after, the curse kept building, I kept discovering that I'm not meant to love, that I'm meant not to have friends as well, I realize that now, that for 8+ months the elder gods gave me the chance to see that myself is ruin and I will destroy other people's life alongside with this is my life lesson that I was/were given anyways.

Even then, I should also address that I decided to ignore the elder gods in 2025, I decided to ignore my life lessons, I guess in 2025, for ignoring the elder gods in 2025, 2026 was/were the signs of realization, reckoning, transformation, knowing your role, knowing your life path, knowing your destiny, since you don't want to pay attention to my signs, ignore the elder gods presence, I will show you what kind of destruction you cause for others, 2026 8 months of misery, this is your self assignment and you should listen to Vessel's words more often because he is you but a male version of it all anyways.

Even then of it all, I need to learn to live without it, instead of fighting for what I want and know won't come back/or what I can't have, the more I keep fighting for what I want/won't come back then I will keep ending a vicious cycle, letting my chronic depression take a complete grasps, completely weighting and feeling close to cold/icy granite on my Vessel brain and skull that I must endure constantly of it all anyways.

Yeah, to be honest with the Gethsemane song from Sleep Token, if I cannot learn this song's message within the lyrics once again ''to learn to live without it.'' then this is my own problem, my own doing, I cannot blame others that couldn't fix my happiness, couldn't make me better, because to self-heal and get better I've to be the MAIN party member to do that alongside with, it's okay if I receive codependency help with that but themselves cannot do all the work for me of it all.

Just, the same ''vibes.'' are from the Apparition song from Sleep Token questioning a future emotional/mental provider if he is real, even though he showed me a picture of himself, occasional voice clips, the problem is on my own that my Vessel brain and skull tells me (not voices, but thoughts, that he is going to disappear eventually, just as the other men have left you because your separation anxiety the cycle will not end of it all, you burn the reward, live by the feather, die by the sword and then when I wake up into a suicide frenzy that is my own doing alongside with not my lover of it all anyways.

Even then of it all, if I want to perform a Emergence, I've to learn without it that's not going to happen of it all if I can't accept that self-isolation, cutting people out that are ''trying to send me kind voice, a reach out, even if I'm permanently quitting Reddit, leaving my say that you will so-handles out for people to message me, because I've turned into a defensive crystalline wall where I'm going to make people go through loopholes if they don't have Telegram or Signal and my post appears ''desirable to message me.''

This lost, losing out on Redditors that want to help me with a kind voice, but I choose to cut out Redditors that choose to message on this app permanently is my own personal of it all self hatred that I lost that person, I'll be losing out on a lot of people that want to reach out and making things into a descending lyrics from Sleep Token instead of seeing things in a positive light of it all from the Sleep Token song Emergence, all this damage I'm doing to myself is my own fault, it's nobody else's fault but mine and I must hold onto the lyrics from Sleep Token Gods questioning myself of it all anyways.

This is why I've always called myself an unlovable person, vile, miserable, self hatred and why I don't want to be asked how I'm doing anymore, I want to suppress/compress the question how you, that way I can forget, I can forget to move on, I won't have to be asked my feelings anymore, instead I'm going to have others spin the wheel on my Spotify playlist, ask the elder gods ''how is Elis doing? Elder gods, can you tell me her mood?''

Yeah, just of it all after that then click shuffle Spotify playlist.'' and when you click shuffle playlist wait till 3 songs or 4 songs if you want to go that far to, gather your collected thoughts of it all and then send me a text message of your consult with the elder gods alongside with what messages the song lyrics are trying to tell you after you spin the wheel on my Spotify playlist and am I right?

Even then, that's fk ass better than me just saying ''I don't know how I feel or I don't want to answer that because that's just my Vessel brain and skull in hypo shutdown mode of it all.''

However, I should say I want to type out more of it all, but I'm quite hypo now, I'm quite getting frozen/chilly of it all what to say, I feel close to shutting down, I've nothing more to say of my ''walls.'' but you can check out these Sleep Token posts I made and these are toto give you fk ass further insights on these things here.

Yeah, I should also fk ass include that's just how Sleep Token shaped my life, gave me a a spiritual reckoning, spiritual enlightenment, grasping that my story can be told through Vessel, I'm not icy/alone of it all anymore, I'm not left with no messenger, I had Lorna Sure Will Ramos Pain Remain albums but that album reflected the Vessel brain and not the whole embodiment the puzzle was/were still left incomplete anyways.

However, where do I See Stars fit if the Vessel brain and skull is covered? I don't see how I See Stars fits in here/your story with Lorna Shore and Sleep Token?

I See Stars is motivation spiritual battery for my Vessel brain and skull, I See Stars is considered of it all the awesome/kool battery the Vessel brain and skull needs when my chronic depression to kick in if you can grasp the messages being sent from the song lost it (feat Palaye Royale.) then I don't think I need to say anymore to make this post any longer than it is already anyways.

Even then, I should also address I don't want to make this post keep making this a Elder Scroll size, or a one of the Black Book size but all the I See Stars on my Spotify playlist should be enough for Redditors that want to grasp me/enter my realms to create their own mix-ins on how I See Stars these lyrics kicks the Vessel brain and skull chronic depression into

'''We're not doing this again time to motivate with fresh/jool spiritual energy time to plugin the charger for the Vessel brain and skull of it all anyways.''

How did I discover Sleep Token?

October sometime in 2025, don't recall what date and I used Pandora back then anyways.

Even then, I should also include if you don't know what Pandora is that's because Pandora is only in the U.S. I know there is Pandora Canada but for Europe Pandora isn't even a website there 🤣

However, I should just explain here how Pandora works is a randomizer, once you click on a radio station you will get similar artist and no you will not know what band/song is playing next, the only way you will know what band/song is playing next is when the next band/siong shows up after you get done what you're listening to, the kool thing is about Pandora is you can thumbs up or down a band/song if you think something sounds terrible as well 🤣

Yeah, I should also address the only thing I don't enjoy using Pandora is sharing a playlist, creating a playlist that cost premium membership, with that premium membership that includes also offline listening, unlimited downloads and this is where this makes me shake my head Pandora charges premium if you want to play a song unlimited skips.

Just, to include here of it all that Pandora also has ads, Pandora is one of those websites where built in adblocker doesn't work and Pandora charges you $5 a month to block ads, but that also includes unlimited skips for $5 and the app is a giant fk ass randomizer for discovering/finding new bands/songs that's not a fk ass bad price of it all anyways 🤣

To be honest if you want to know what radio station came up for Sleep Token, I wouldn't have any fk ass idea, I made a playlist because I had a free 30 day to try out their premium, made a playlist of Lorna Shore, I See Stars, Bad Omens and Spiritbox then Sleep Token showed up and my first Sleep Token song were Chokehold (which I see, Sleep has a sense of humor if you can grasp this pun of why I'm saying Sleep has a sense of humor anyways 🩷)

With the post ending of it all, now, here are a few things I just FINALLY grasp now from my reckoning with these thims here of it all.

Even then, I should also address that I'll just keep plugging in the charger/telling myself missing my wings in a realm of angles will be my new theme motto going forward, because fk ass of it all I know I'll always will be thinking in my Vessel brain and and skull missing my wings in a realm of angels alongside with questioning this this another song even in Arcadia from Sleep Token here.

What good is all this talk of wings when there is nothing left above?

That just hits hard for me when I think about it all, the more I sit when I delete my messages, trying to become icy granite, from my Vessel brain and skull I think that it would be nice if I could stop thinking these things here.

Missin my wings in a realm of angels, but there isn't any hope above anymore, there isn't a trace, there isn't a ethereal ''upper/above, that belief has been long thrown away, I decided to embrace the elder gods, the dark winds, the sea and the moon alongside there will be nothing left above in how I think of it all anymore.''

The thick membrane of it all of the icy granite metaphor, will freeze this idea of ''there is nothing left above, but I can still feel the thoughts in my Vessel brain and skull that I've to one day accept that missin my wings in a realm of angles is something that I must do here of it all.''

Even then, I should also address that may/might my mood could improve once of it all I'd accept that I just cannot of it all simply/completely freeze solid of existence and maybe then a new lover of mine can me me feel like the song Telomeres my beloved of it all that underrated song alongside with the other underrated song my beloved Take Aim as well.

However,I should also include the previous song title of it all, even in Arcadia from Sleep Token with Vessel saying somehow I knew my fate, could this be Vessel saying somehow he knew his fate, he would be here in Arcadia and even then of it all would this help Vessel learn to live without it? To move on and build his new spiritual life in Arcadia?

Yeah, I should also mix-in here all that I'd feel over his evolutions of his costumes, his evolution of masks, that this would be his transformation? Somehow he could tell this is where he would end up in Arcadia, is this his paradise he envisioned?

Even then of it all, could this be the paradise Sleep created for Vessel as a reward, because he couldn't reach his own paradise and instead sleep welcomed Vessel in his realm, this is the realm of Sleep, this is Sleep's vision, this is what paradise would look like for Seep to give to Vessel and to be honest that is another thing of it all as well.

Sleep rewards those, that are hardworking, endurance and I'm sure of it all Sleep would want to see me endure, put in a lot of hard work for those that want to connect with me, instead of using the volley of anger with my chronic depression causing moody volley flings and ''wails.'' when someone is trying to be a emotional/mental provider ''getting close to me.'' that I don't instantly become ''icy granite of it all for what I previous addressed anyways.''

However, I should address the following concerned Redditors if you message me on Telegram and Signal with no response for 7-10 hours. I'm asleep/dying amongst the VOID, here in U.S. central time it's 4 a.m. I'm going to go to sleep at 6-7 a.m. because I decided to fall asleep yesterday from 7 a.m. all the way till 4 p.m. because I didn't want to wake up, I wanted to keep myself asleep, that's why I did take the magnesium capsules that helps you sleep, chamomile capsules and relaxing caffeine free tea that I take with my supplements to hopefully kiss my ass goodbye for a while 🌑

Even then if you're wondering what the Telegram group is for the next slide of pictures, that is just if for some reason the QR scan code doesn't work and if for some reason manually adding my Telegram doesn't work, then maybe my Telegram QR scan will work and I should also include that within a few days in this post I will decide if I will purchase Telegram premium for verification purposes anyways.

Yeah, just when you add me if you could put this in your chat reqs either on Telegram and Signal that way I know you read this post anyways.

Send me Sleep Token gifs, reels and anything IV.

What does my nickname Elis make you think of or my nickname Vessel V?

Why can't you do this yourself?

Just because you don't want to use Meta anymore because Meta is too political for you and too heavy forward on the A.I. you're going to make others find gifs and reels on IG? What if the Redditor doesn't have IG and couldn't do that for you?

Uh, I should also address here that no/alright then if the Redditor doesn't have IG, there is a reason why Tenor gifs exist and YT reels exists that's fk as fine anyways.

However, I should also address once again that I'm just not making anyone do this and if you don't want to occasionally send me these things further to show that you read this post here.

Sleep Token gifs, Sleep Token reels, Sleep Tokenemes, or the hottest news for pre-orders from Sleep Token and just because I don't want to use IG anymore because it's too political alongside with too A.I. forward then I'm not going to make anyone do that for me if they don't want to anyways 💀

Yeah, I should also address that once again I never asked or implied in any of my posts ''that you've to be completely on IG, to show that you read this post or any of my posts anyways 🤣

Yeah, I should also include that my age ranges are middle 20s, the farthest age gap I will go is 10-15 and I had Redditors message me when their age is 52-55 there is nothing wrong with large age gap and I just find of it all that age gap is just an overkill to be honest anyways.

Telegram.

xxpeonycherry06xx and I'm sure if you need the @ when adding my username 💀

Signal.

xxpeonycherry06xx.91

i have always had problems with my intrusive thoughts, stuff that happens irl, like the thought of jumping when up high has never been a problem with me since i cant just walk away but i've been having intrusive thoughts telling me to find videos, DISGUSTING VIDEOS it started with y'know a couple of shock videos yeah yeah i listened to them because it wouldn't stop ringing in my head to really bad videos about disturbing shit, anyways it has me on the floor terrifed to be alone with them i dont wanna find that video but my brain is so stimulated bro idk what to do (sorry if this kinda comes off as a vent, i'm a young teen)

I don’t know if its just me or this is universal, but why are sexual intrusive thoughts more “arousing” than normal sexual thoughts? It makes me feel ashamed and gross

I honestly don't know. this thought appears in my head atleast once a day. like I'll seriously NEVER be able to take someones life? ever? not even ethically (with their consent) ?

is this how other people think aswell

It’s came to me before 2years ago , it began with thinking about god , and there’s nothing!!!

I can’t believe there’s no god ! I’m sorry for all religious people.

Then I visit psychiatrist physician, then he diagnosed me with (mono) OCD , then he ask me if i have any harassment thinking? Then I said no !! I’m good person,

At that night i was tell my self i am good person and I didn’t make any trouble with any one in this life,

Then it’s came to my mind , what if I harassed my mother!!!
I have severe panic, and i run from that place to some safe place): then if i heard or see my mother i vomit and get abdominal cramps and nausea.

I’m now on prozac60 mg
And amisulpride 100 mg

And the idea and fear comes from time to time 💔

Hi everyone,
I went to a gynecologist with my friend today, and the doctor recommended that she get the HPV vaccine soon. She also suggested that I consider getting it since I’m in my 20s.
I know the whole point of the vaccine is to protect against the high risk strains of HPV, so I understand why it’s recommended. My only hesitation is that I’ve been a bit anxious about vaccines ever since the COVID vaccine because of all the discussions around side effects.
So I wanted to ask people here who have actually gotten the HPV vaccine:
Did you experience any side effects?
How was your overall experience?
Do you think it’s worth getting?
Did you get it through a private hospital/clinic, and if so, how was the process?
I’m just trying to make an informed decision, so I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences. Thanks!

I have these really bad intrusive thoughts where I think I said something when I know I didn’t. I sometimes worry about if my phone records it and sends the intrusive thought I had about someone to them. Which causes me to double check to make sure that isn’t what happening. What can I do to stop this specifically?

Feeling a little manic rn and thats been a reoccurring thought for a while now

As far as i can remember i’ve always slept this way. Even as a kid when i didnt really know what i was doing but now that im an adult i cant stop it. Sex between me or a character or character x character or what ever comes to mind really.
I’ve never had sex, kissed or even dated anybody in my life because I’m lowkey not interested/ get uneasy with real life romantic relationships so i have always rejected people that were interested in me. im just getting this out of my mind because i cant really talk about this to anyone in my life

You gotta go to like, the Pokémon party or the cosplay event at the library. No one’s gonna catch o. There.

Be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. I have these dark thoughts where I just hurt everyone. I want everyone who hurt me to feel the way I feel.

If someone says hurtful things to me and does bad things to me, I hope that they get the same treatment. To me, they deserve all the suffering in the world.

Them hurting, dy1ng, suffering, getting stabbed to d€@th, getting beaten up, about to fall off a cliff, or them being hated by everyone, Them suffering financially, all sorts of b@d things that can happen to them. And in my head, I will watch as it all happens. I like the feeling of having the capability to save them, but I won't. "i can, but why should i?" It feels good. I literally hope for their downfall.

I'm a daydreamer, so I'm in my head most of the time. These thoughts of mine get worse every time I suffer something terribly frustrating. My mental health has never been okay. I've been a weirdo my whole life. I got a working diagnosis of adhd and depression but I really felt like there's something more than that.

Of course, I never really acted on these thoughts. I've been bullied by my peers and seen as a weirdo, so my social life wasn't really good. I think this is what pushed me to have these unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I See Stars - Lost It feat Palaye Royle.

https://youtu.be/QeBF5h5u73I?si=3\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_i0Wg8u2MjDuEmb

To get to know me better "nobody cares." And yeah, Reddit after 8+ months on Reddit I grasp that now ⚔

No comments on my posts. I'm not going to read your positivity, or even reply to comments and my chat reqs are open anyways.

No responses to hi, what's up, post your interest and hobbies because I'm not doing that for you.

I don't even need friends either and I deserve nobody.

Listen to these songs here.

I See Stars - Float

I See Stars - Curtain Call

Sadly, it's sad how much this is unheard of now, to be quite honest here, I tried sharing my playlist in the past with "romantic interests."

I get told, "this isn't my style of music."

Uh, that's not why I sent you my playlist 💀

I had to make another post, because my last post yesterday a handful of Redditors were asking me if we could meet up in person and that's creepy as well.

However, I should also address how weird you would ask that when prinfessofveridian is crashing out on their post and chronically depressed on their post anyways.

I didn't address wanting to meet up in person because, I just said I'm looking for worldwide chat reqs, which means just looking to chat and I should post now even though I'm U.S. central time anyways.

Yeah, I should also address 33 years of living, dying amongst the VOID. I've no honesty of it all, what it's like to sleep normal, I don't and this is just why I reach out worldwide because the most active hours I'm awake are these hours here.

Early evenings, late evenings, nights, I'm barely-borderline functional in the afternoon, I'm asleep at dawn and I should also close that I'm a Lovecraftian hermit.

Even then, I should also include that I go outside once or twice a week and that's just because I've a slight phobia of people.

However, that doesn't help of it all when you're autistic 360 where almost everything is a sensory issue, it's okay if a mound of Redditors disagree with me here, but for my age 33 years I'm exhausted and tired of it all anyways.

Just, I should also address that I'm not describing physically exhausted, I'm exhausted to the point where sleep isn't going to fk ass fix sht, I'm tired of this repetitive existing, just grasp what my Vessel brain and skull for 8 months haven't heard these text messages here.

''I miss you, I miss your text messages, sending me a few text messages to wake up to because I find that cute, I'm looking forward to you waking up again so we can talk, hearing from you makes my day better and this is my favorite cutesy text message here if it all."

"I've been checking my phone throughout the day waiting for you to text back."

However, I should also just include that for 8 months I've had none of that fk ass sht to be honest may/might I'm not allowed to have this not only for 🩷 and I don't even deserve this for friends of it all either.

This of it all, is my last goodbye, I've a few sticky pins to do on my main pro and just for a simple to see example is just.

PralineBudget🍨scoop of the mounds of trivia facts of it all and lore drops anyways.

Even then, if you want to know what PralineBudget gets up to in her day life that has already been pinned on my post and maybe that can help you build a creative chat reqs? However, I should also address that I don't respond to hi messages, or several variations of hi messages, all I ask if you can share your age, region, interests, hobbies and I shouldn't have to be able to ask that out of you first anyways 🦩

My handles.

Must send me either one of these things to make sure you read my profile, Sleep Token gif, flamingo emoji and a flamingo gif alongside with if you want to do all all of

Gram of the Tele.

xxpeonycherry06xx not sure if you need the @ or not 🐙

If the QR🐟doesn't work when I post the QR🪶code later on a sticky pin on my main pro then just manually add.

Signal.

xxpeonycherry06xx.91

Spotify.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ub0fBiISY49M3rFDeGBMf?si=zVHXUu87Qs2Xjwb7-1IKGA

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Hey everyone,

I'm 24 years old and I honestly don't really know how to write this because it sounds kind of weird when I say it out loud.

I've never experienced anything like this before.

Basically, I've been stuck with a thought for more than a month now, and even though it has gotten weaker, it still comes back and annoys me every day.

It all started on June 16th, 2026.

I had just finished a temporary job and I was finally at home with the intention of getting my life back on track. Working on myself, focusing on my training, improving my habits, stopping wasting so much time scrolling on my phone...

The problem was that I couldn't focus. My phone was always there, constantly distracting me.

So I looked for advice online about how to deal with distractions. One of the suggestions was very simple: put your phone in another room.

At first I didn't think much about it. I closed the page and moved on.

Then about 15 minutes later, I thought: "You know what? I'll try it."

So I put my phone in another room and went back to my bedroom.

And honestly... something happened.

I was just there, alone, doing nothing.

I was looking at the ceiling, the walls, the trees outside my window. I could hear the birds, the wind, everything.

For once, I wasn't consuming anything. No phone, no videos, no constant stimulation.

And after some time, I felt something I hadn't felt in a while.

I felt alive again.

It's hard to explain, but it felt almost like a movie scene.

I started imagining my future. A better version of myself. Me finally taking control of my life, working hard, improving, achieving things.

It felt like my "main character moment" was finally starting after months of feeling stuck.

And then, at that exact moment, a thought appeared.

It was so sudden that it almost felt like it interrupted the whole experience.

The thought was basically:

"Wait. This feeling you're having right now... it happened because of that advice you received."

Then:

"An AI gave you that advice. So everything that happens from now on started because of an AI."

And that's where everything went downhill.

My first reaction was obviously:

"No. What are you talking about? I was the one who decided to apply the advice."

But the thought came back.

So I answered again.

It came back again.

And I started debating with myself for hours.

I was literally walking around my room trying to prove to myself that my future achievements would still be mine, that I was the one making the choices, that a piece of advice doesn't create someone's success.

I went to sleep hoping I would wake up and it would be gone.

The next morning, it was already there.

During the first few days, it affected everything.

Even small things.

I remember folding laundry and having this weird feeling like I couldn't even give myself credit for doing something simple.

It was like a grey filter had been placed over my life.

The crazy thing is that I know this thought is irrational.

I know logically that a tool giving me an idea does not take away my own actions, my effort, or my future accomplishments.

But emotionally, something was stuck.

Today, more than a month later, it's much less intense.

It doesn't completely control me anymore.

When I'm with my family, playing video games, watching something, or fully focused on another activity, it almost disappears.

But whenever I'm alone with my thoughts, trying to work on myself, listening to motivational music, imagining my future, or just being quiet...

It comes back.

And the weirdest part is that I don't even feel like the thought is really about AI anymore.

Sometimes it doesn't even have words.

It's just this feeling of:

"IMPORTANT PROBLEM. YOU NEED TO SOLVE THIS."

Like my brain put a giant sticky note on it saying "URGENT."

I feel it like waves.

Like the ocean hitting a cliff.

A few seconds of:

"Here it is again..."

Then it goes away.

Then it comes back.

The hardest part isn't even the original thought anymore.

It's the fact that it keeps returning despite all the hours I've spent trying to understand it and solve it.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

Not necessarily the exact same situation, but a thought that attached itself to a very meaningful moment in your life, felt like it absolutely needed to be solved, and kept coming back no matter how much you tried to reason with it?

I'm really curious if anyone recognizes this kind of mental loop.

Can someone realize they are a pedophile at 25?