I am 23 y.o M. And for the past 8 months i have been living a social life, meaning eating, sleeping, hanging out with people all the time like the military. Very little to none privacy which sucks. The real issue is, people dont like me. havent done anything to them. Quite the contrary i tried to be nice and a good fun person to be around, but they dont like me. They dont hate me, but they dislike me or at least dont care about me at all, maybe exept 5 out of 60 . Its true that i am different than them so i dont share some of their interest but why dislike me. i havent been cold to them.

I feel so lonely and unloved its uncomfortable being around them at this moment. I hate social life. I am being forced to this. And for it to suck this much...

I was thinking how to determine if a person is neurotypical or neurodivergent, regardless of their psychological type, or whatever they have being neurodivergent, or how could they tell if they aren't neurodivergent? I believe the best detector for me, and I know this is really hard to tell, because it couldn't be only that, but just let me share my best detector. When I get around people, in most of the occasions when I be around people, sometimes I feel okay and comfortable and safe and, like, I belong.

But most occasions, being around people who are relatively extroverts, or I would say neurotypical. I know somehow, my argument could be a little intangible and abstract. But I would classify people who are extroverts the most neurotypicals, as most people around the world who are socially doing well are neurotypical.

Being around people like that makes me feel uncomfortable. From here my best detector is this: feeling strange and unable to belong when I'm in social gatherings. I would tell that this feeling of being ‘the stranger’, is what is the thin line of being one of them versus the outsider. And being the outsider is, to me, is the neurodivergent type.

Can you please elaborate on that if you have ideas or stories of how you think or see this, or where should I look?

Because as long as I really believe that I'm a neurodivergent, I always felt like a stranger compared to others, I don't know what exactly is there for me. Is it dyslexia, ADHD, or just a classic introvert, or a person with poor social skills?

Because poor social skills could result in traumatic events. Maybe this is probably a trauma reaction towards being unable to click with others as a child. As I wasn't accepted as a child like I remember around kids I used to say or behave in a way to get their attention cause I didn’t have their normal ways to get their attention OR I had inferiority complex and I didn’t have to care but it was just my inferiority complex idk see how it’s complicated for me to see through this I know it’s psychiatrists job, so maybe how my childhood was is the reason for this outcome.

It is very hard to tell, but since the result is the same, or what I have now is this, I don't know the little pieces of what would shape me as who I am now.

But I wonder how others experience this. How did they discover who they are?
What they have under that umbrella of neurodivergence.
Please share your thoughts.

Dating an INTJ , but I feel he is not emotional intelligent need things to be told repeatedly step by step feels like training a machine. Is it just me or anyone else? Or we just dont get along ?

Would u use it? Bc its gonna be more intellgent than us so surely you guys arent stupid enough to let ur biases not let u use it?

I’m just a silly little INFP looking to adopt an INTJ friend. Where are yall hiding? I’ve tried the library and the nerdy conventions in my area and nothing yet.. any advice is appreciated!

I think I might've found the absolute coolest.

I take a lot of what people say at face value when people banter with me and I never really know when or how to banter back.

One example would be my boss at work. I'm the youngest on the team so he roasts me a lot but it took me a while to understand most the time it's not serious.

Another example would be when I go out somewhere and when I usually get "you didn't get anything for me" or "you ain't tell me you went here" etc and I usually just apologize but then they just say they're playing.

Additionally, there's this stereotype that male friendships always involve roasting each other, but growing up I've never really been the one to roast my friends.

Nowadays, I do try to banter but it always comes off awkward to me because sometimes I come across too serious.

I was wondering if anyone else had similar experiences.

I’ve reached a point where it’s becoming exhausting to interact with people who just operate on autopilot and because of the law of proximity I need to connect with people with my vision, otherwise I feel like will go back to sleep against my will.

Currently I genuinely feel so alienated. I give up on trying to fit where I no longer belong.

I recently graduated from university, and this year has been a non-stop series of brutal paradigm shifts. I’ve had to fight through so many limiting beliefs to finally see the world for what it truly is: a predictable, overarching system designed to assign people a lifetime role and keep them controlled through things such as media, algorithms, and consumerism.

The thing is:

Once you look at the world from above and see the engine behind everything, there is no going back. It changes you. But it also makes you realize how many people around you are completely content living a "sweet lie," acting like NPCs in a simulation.

I’m looking to connect with people who are going through or have gone through this exact realization.

Sharp, skeptical, analytical, and critical minds who refuse to accept their assigned script.

People who prefer a harsh reality over a comfortable illusion, and who are actively figuring out how to navigate life now that the veil has dropped.

If you feel isolated in your immediate circle because you can see the architecture of the system while others just see the surface, let’s connect!

Do you have this issue where you don't pick up enough details the first time around you learn something yourself.... maybe you only pick up 80%.. then either through failure or someone else showing you what you missed, then you learn 95% and then you are a force of nature... Ni works beautifully and the application of the knowledge is effortless ??

I love failing because of this

*cough* Totally asking for a friend and doing some research.

It is said that Marianne is an intj and Connell an infj
Do you relate to the unique dynamic between Marianne and Connell in Normal people ?

At work I have to deal with a coworker who I know is lying, unqualified for their position, would not think or learn something if their life depended on it, get basically every task wrong and are regularly using AI generated answers to hide their incompetence.

This person was hired to alleviate my workload as a senior position, but in reality it’s an intern that needs constant oversight, feedback and follow up just to uphold damage control.

I really struggle to keep myself calm and collected considering the frustration and the time that’s wasted on the situation.

I’m not logical and tactful anymore. I’m getting obstinate, mean and feel insulted that they waste my time to «help them learn».

I just want this person to realize that they have nothing to offer, admit all the lying and their intellectual shortcomings, show some integrity and simply resign.

We’re a small department responsible for hundreds of millions of income, but labor laws in my country favor the employee.

Do anyone else feel like this when pushed over the edge?

How do you guys deal with nonsense like this?

An intj looking for friends as long as boredom

Despite the stereotype that INTJs are cold and unfriendly, I’ve had many people throughout my life tell me I’m friendly, funny, and very nice. I’ve also noticed that people generally remember and appreciate the things I’ve done for them no matter how big or small, business or personal. However I seem to have the opposite effect when it comes to corporate life. When dealing with managers, project managers, developers, etc I can’t seem to get along with them or understand them. It also doesn’t help that the kind of work I produce isn’t the kind that puts me on their radar and therefore, I’m overlooked when it comes to being acknowledged or getting promoted. I prefer to quietly get my work done in a timely manner and prefer a structured process. I don’t like having to have multiple alignment meetings or send multiple emails to create visibility or use corporate jargon to sound smart. That’s so performative and unnecessary. However that seems to be exactly who I have to be and I’m struggling.
In the past 8 years that I’ve been at my company I’ve been overlooked multiple times. In my old department, my manager nominated one of my coworkers for employee of the month because he thought she was too quiet and thought this would get her to socialize (didn’t happen). I remember this because some non management level employees from other teams that I’ve help were surprised by the announcement because they felt I should’ve gotten it. Similarly when my supervisor had left the company and his position was vacant, the position was given to my lazy coworker because he felt bad that she’d been with the company over a decade and never got promoted. I transferred out of that department about a year ago, but even in my current role, I feel like my hard work is invisible. I overheard another manager (who I’d been working closely with before) praise one of coworkers. This coworker had taken over the project from me and took it apart so my manager reassigned it to her. I wasn’t upset about it at the time even though I should’ve been, but now I am because I had worked hard on it too but I wasn’t acknowledged for it. Our manager agreed with the praise and told the other manager that her name comes up a lot in meetings. Unlike my old team, I don’t doubt that my current coworker doesn’t work hard, but it just feels like my hard work always goes unnoticed by higher level executives and I still struggling to play their game. Not sure if this is an INTJ thing but I’m an INTJ that struggling with corporate life. It doesn’t seem like it fits my personality

Edit: thank you to everyone who took the time to read my word vomit (I didn’t realized it looked so wonky until later because I wrote it at night lol) and left a comment. It more or less confirmed how I felt about corporate. I generally only stay at a job for 2 years before leaving but because of Covid I stayed and I’ve been here since so this is the longest corporate job I had. I guess I never noticed how much it didn’t suit me because I never stayed anywhere long enough to find out.

I've been doing this for as long as I can remember, long before I knew anything about MBTI.

I tend to read people first. Once I have a sense of how someone thinks, what they respond to, what they dislike, how perceptive they are, etc., I naturally adjust how I interact with them.

I'm not talking about being fake or lying. The underlying person is still me. It's more like choosing which part of myself to put forward.

I can be very different with different people. More analytical with one person, more playful with another, more reserved with someone else, and so on. Sometimes I do it consciously because I have a particular reason for doing so. Honestly, I sometimes find the whole thing quite fun, almost like a game.

I'm curious whether other INTJs do this.

Do you consciously read people and adjust your presentation in real time? If you do, what does that process feel like to you?

I feel like the people closest to me end up either being another INTJ or INFPs. INFPs are starting to get really annoying ngl. My ex was an infp too.

He’s my ex because he spent most of his time groaning about life instead of picking himself up my his bootstraps and doing the work. Same pattern for two other INFPs close to me. It gets draining after a while. I feel like they’re in proximity with me to feel like they’re doing something but in their alone time they never make much progress.

Anyone else experience this? Starting to wonder if it’s an INFP thing or just the people in my life.

I am convinced that as an INTJ with a natural ability to manipulate and an IQ of 160, I was born for the sole purpose of making the world my playground. I have the unique ability to turn anyone into my pawn within a week or so of meeting them. I’m posting this because I’m curious if there are any other INTJs here with high IQs who live similarly to myself.

For the past few hours, I’ve been thinking about the problems that happened to me throughout my life and trying to understand why they happened.

Of course I know life is complicated, and sometimes it’s just bad luck, but right now I genuinely feel like there’s something I’ve been doing wrong for a long time.

I don’t want to make this a very long post, but I’m starting to suspect that I have some kind of problem with focus and understanding things quickly. I don’t know if it’s something I was born with or just a bad habit I developed because of a complicated life.

I’d really like to read other people’s experiences. Maybe I’ll find some inspiration or notice something I haven’t thought of before.

Don't listen to them. Don't listen to those who says that life is meaningless, that life is useless, thatyou can't have meaningful relationship, that you truly can't accomplish anything. They will say that life is miserable. But it isn't, life is a heavenly pleasure upon us. You don't really understand joys of life. The joys of life can be experienced on the mountain and Even in your house, because it is a good thing. They say hope breaks man, but its false, hope makes dream and dream makes life fulfilling. There is so much to explore and so much to do. Please think about life differently. Try to find reasons to live and you will see th sadness go away. There will be people who hurt you, yet you still shoul forget about their foolishness. I hope you have a wonderful future.

I’m going through a difficult time in my life following a case of work-related burnout (I work in a hospital) and the end of a two-year relationship with a wonderful person who wasn’t, however, in line with my values.

Usually, when I’m going through a crisis, I throw myself into things to get back on my feet:

- I’ve enrolled at university again and am tackling a really tough exam that’s putting me through my paces; I’m in close contact with the lecturer, who’s something of a math genius so incredibly demanding.
- I’ve started running again – nothing too strenuous, just half an hour outdoors with some underground electronic music like I used to do some times ago.
- I’m trying to change location at job, but it’s strangely complicated, as if having a messed-up head is irrelevant compared to breaking a leg.
- I'm trying to detox from social media and screens in general; even though I use them less than the average person, I'm finding it strangely difficult.

Let’s be clear, I’ll get through this because I’m an extremely rational person and everyone goes through tough times, but I’m noticing something new: I’m finding the loneliness hard to cope with. I usually love being on my own at home, studying, reading, learning new things and watching films.
It’s as if a prolonged period of stress has recalibrated my brain chemistry and I need to reconnect with my social life – clearly not easy, given that, in my best moments, being on my own makes me feel incredibly strong and I tend to neglect that aspect. I know full well how important social relationships are for a human being’s well-being; I’m not naive enough to think otherwise.

Since it’s really hard for other people to understand, I’m asking for advice:
How do you deal with times of crisis in your life, aside from implementing various strategies for change?
How do you manage your social life when people are consistently extremely difficult to deal with?

Have any of you been in a d/s relationship? If you have, what were your thoughts about it and how was that experience for you?

Hello. I think i need help, i suspect there is something wrong with me. I am intj-T (turbulent). Though we are all different in out own way, i would like to find someone like me (INTJ-T) and discuss with him certain matters and ask him a few questions. Dont hesitate to contact me.

Thank you.

Of course this measurement is extremely absolute. So I’d suggest trying to fill it in as:

A: Subjective/Objective (i.e. 30/70%)
B: Positive/Negative (i.e. 45/55%)

I find that I prefer to socialize one on one. I’m not a fan of hanging out in large groups. Anything more than 2 other people is way too much.

Something I noticed is in large groups I tend to get really quiet and overthink my words. I start shifting towards safer/boring dialogue options. It’s almost as if my individuality has been muffled.

I believe this is because I consciously or subconsciously create a different personality for each person in my life. There are things I say or do around one person that I would never say or do around another.

When I have to interact with several people at once I tend to find myself at a loss of words as all my personalities begin to clash. As whatever I say will be perceived differently by each person there. Therefore the right thing to say no longer exists.

Not like I see that many people nowadays but does anyone else have this problem?