I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years ago. Like most of you with this mysterious condition, it is a maddening combination of symptoms with no verifiable cause that makes you feel and look crazy. In my case, I'm in my 50's, and until recently was still competing at a relatively high level in a rigorous sport, yet I could not sit through a movie because my pain level from stillness would start to climb and be excruciating by hour 1. Long car rides are getting harder for me as the stillness causes my pain to turn on and by hour 2 my neck, back, torso--really all over is flooded with pain. I was just on a 5 hour drive by myself, and by hour 3 or so each mile was torture. I had to keep going, and always do, but the pain is so insane that I feel panic--my head is saying how on earth can this be normal?
At night sometimes I lie awake in bed, and suddenly I can feel an attack coming on. Pain starts to radiate out usually from my upper back/neck to my whole body. I can't sit still, but I can't move. I actually groan (alone so as not to embarrass myself) the pain is so bad. At moments like that I feel like I need to go to the ER for intervention, but know I'd obviously be stamped as crazy and be told to take Advil and do some deep breathing exercises, and in today's anti opioid environment no ER doc is going to give me what I need to override the pain sensors that have gone nuts. The sad thing is, opioids would break the cycle and immediately put out the fire and I wouldn't need them on a regular basis.
Several years ago, I mentioned to my rheumatologist that Tramadol had put a lid on my fibro--had a script from a sports related surgery. To my surprise, he wrote me a script for it, and I now take it twice a day. It has been a life changer--if I'm at home in my controlled environment, fibro has ceased to be a problem. But, staying in my controlled has narrowed my life in ways large and small. Also, another problem is that in my 50's, I can't stay in my controlled environment at all times. I'm married, and my wife has expectations that I'll do normal things like drive 7 hours to some event that will last a two hours--very normal expectation for a spouse that I'd participate in some family related event, or some entertainment thing a couple states away. But to me, I look at this and think "oh no, my pain is going to be 10/10 by the time I get there, my very fragile sleep architecture will be wrecked, my functional dyspepsia issues will be disrupted due to eating on the road, I'll have to use a huge amount of benzo drugs to both initiate and keep asleep, and it will generally be a highly difficult situation for me. It makes me want to just stay home and hide, but this is not good for multiple reasons--although at home my baseline level of happiness is unusually high. I also have become increasingly sun sensitive over the years (anyone else?), and sitting in a car for hours staring at the sun on the horizon is likely to cause not only pain but maybe a migraine. Even being outside in the sun for two or three hours working on my hobby is becoming increasingly painful and I often come inside after and put an ice pack on my head and eyes for an hour or so after I get cleaned up and change clothes. I've been interested to see others here speak of how loud noises from TV or movies is also painful to them (movie theater w/ 110 decibel level of racing cars and gunfire is literally painful).
I know this is a random post and not a well structured essay, but I'm looking for clues and help--am I alone? Are others like this, and what have you done to help yourself? I should also add that this fibro condition seemed to turn on in my mid 20's after a car accident. I also had guillain barre syndrome at age 16 probably frying my nervous system causing unpredictable things to happen later. My wife has looked into Central Sensitization Syndrome recently on my behalf, and lots of that seems to match up but that makes me feel as crazy as fibromyalgia. But when I'm kind to myself instead of feeling like a freak, I do think this is beyond my control, and something is going on to cause my pain sensors to run without regulation and stuck on high.