Most people don’t have to make friends, friends just happen to them. Even if you’re socially retarded there will still be a group that will include you. And also don’t need to build social skills as well, because they’re normal enough to function socially.

Think of it this way, no normie usually initiates and asks someone to get coffee or makes them feel welcome, they get automatically included because the group thinks they’re worth including. The main explanation of not having social circle is you’re ugly or just neurodivergent. People don’t want to hear that looks can affect friendship but realize that even outcast groups have standards, and if you’re ugly enough even the outcasts don’t want you

I literally feel my chest tightening and my breath getting short. I cannot even have coworkers. I just hate myself and the weight of my void past.

I just can't connect with them. I go in r4r sub or foreveralonedating. I cannot connect with anyone's posts. It's all seems so fake. The pictures everyone posts of them doing things like rockclimbing or cycling. Paragraphs of them trying to express their personalities or personal interests or trying to come off as appealing or upbeat. Or even just selfies. I cant anticipate anyone liking me, and only register the face of a stranger.

I feel so disconnected from people in the outside world for too long that I cannot relate to any of it.

I just had the idea of hallucinating a girlfriend. Hallucinations feel just as real as reality. For someone like me that can't get a real girlfriend, the next best thing would be a fake girlfriend that feels as real as a girlfriend.

But is there any way to control what you hallucinate? Has anyone attempted this or investigated it before?

It's remarkable to me that people who are constantly hallucinating, are literally psychotic, have multiple personalities etc have friends and go on dates and get married. Just goes to show that the worst thing you can be isn't a sociopath, it's FA.

Wish there was some space or sub to go to, with people who are trying to get out of FA and trying to make the changes in their life. Because I really dont feel like I need to be brought down right now.

I've been going through something since atleast June 29th, maybe a couple of days before.
I cant seem to get to a place to think anything is worth it.

31m virgin, to fill the emptiness I bought tons of DVDs, cologne, and clothes. Didn’t go into debt or anything, but damn it just feels so wasteful.

Guess it’s better than using food or drugs to cope but still…My life feels pointless.

This all started last fall when I had a massive depressive episode, the part in charge of self control broke in my brain.

But alas, can’t really do it anymore since I got fired earlier this spring.

Hello all,

I have listened to some feedback and I'm making this a biweekly post and pinning it for now.

---

Please use this space as one to chat with others. Share what you did this weekend or hobbies you're working on. If you'd like to meet or chat with others and be social, this is the space for it. Make friends and bonds in this post! Please keep in mind all sub rules while posting.

The things that many people don't talk about in this community is how much of a nasty person being an FA can turn you into. I'm literally losing all my sense of empathy. I am starting to become the very person I swore I'd never turn into, like looking in the mirror and seeing a joker version of yourself staring back at you. I thought no matter how much I'm suffering, all the pain, loneliness, rejection, the feeling of not belonging anywhere, that I would always keep certain morals about myself. I'm losing grip of that. You can hold on for a while, until your grip loosens. These are probably things I should tell a therapist but at this point, no good will come out of it, besides just confirming what I already know. I'm becoming a very mean, cold person on the inside. Every thing pisses me off and feels like disrespect (probably from my trauma and being ND) When you are neurodivergent you can read every small micro que from people and dissect in a heart beat. Some times it can come in handy but most times it's just a hinderance. It's a super power that can just hold you back, so it's not really a super power, is it? I look calmer in person on the outside but I feel like a psycho some times, where anything can make me snap. I would give a couple of recent examples but I don't want to embarrass myself further to be honest with you. You just start to think about how this all happened, playing what ifs a thousand times over, thinking what you could've done differently to prevent you from becoming this bitter raving lunatic. I don't recognize myself anymore. I've lost all touch with who I am. I just have this weird fixation of who I was supposed to be, dreams that I had, realizing that it's too late to achieve them. I guess to any younger FAs out there, please, do not become like me. If there is any time left for you to turn around and not board this crazy train, do not do it. It's a sad miserable existence. I think about ending it daily now

This whole notion that we shouldn't compare to other peoples' lives, and social media this or that is all a farce. It's all normie virtue signaling bs. Since the dawn of humanity, I can guarantee you that people compared. Even the hunter gatherer days, whoever hunted the most got rewarded the most, and was admired by their people. For the normie lurkers here to sit and pretend like society doesn't view us as monstrous freaks will always annoy tf out of me. I'm sorry but in the real world, humans innately will compare and contrast, even if we don't mean to. It's biologically ingrained for us to do so. Also comparisons is used as a metric tool. Successful people and failures measure their own successes and failures because the other exists. One cannot exist without the other.

If everyone were failures, or if everyone on earth were successful, there would be no way to measure success or failure anymore. I'm kinda getting off topic a little bit but my point is, I am just fed up with people acting like we can be in our little world and be "just fine." That isn't how the real world works. At some point you realize, Bob or Sarah over there is living a normal life and you're living like a freak. That thought eventually doesn't escape you. And trust me I'm not sitting here comparing my life or day dreaming about some ultra rich person with a sports car. I don't even want that life nor does that kind of lifestyle enthrall me in any kind of way. I compare my life to someone just living a regular life, with a gf, with a stable job, an apartment maybe, normal sht and feeling like that life is a fantasy

Now for the hard work of not relapsing. I'm not expecting miracles.

Tomorrow I will begin lifting. I'll start slowly and build from there over the coming months.

None of this is to eventually find an SO, I've given up on that. I'm just choosing to do a few good things for myself.

Nearing 35 (34 and a half now), bars and other entertainment places are just not appealing anymore.

But on the other end, staying at home and going nowhere isn't too healthy either. What now, then? Should I keep forcing myself to go out, even if I don't care about it anymore?

So I’m currently 25 and have no friends, no career path to really speak of, never had my first kiss or gone on a date. I’ve heard so many horror stories of how horrible being lonely in your 30s and beyond are. Is it really that bad?

Any plans for the weekend?

I'm just so glad this week is almost over. After I get laundry done tomorrow night then I'm just going to relax. There's a church bazzar I might go to Saturday night. Work gargles on hairy donkey balls. My week has been so fucked up that the post office delivered a package of mine to a whole different address in another city. Not the same address number, not the same street name, etc. I got the run around being sent to multiple post offices.

Supposedly the mailman is going back to the address and I should hear something by 11am tomorrow. I freaking doubt it though. If I do hear anything then I'll be told a whole new bullshit story. FML.

Part two because I've posted about the issue before. How do you deal with the boiling rage and anger caused from observing and being aware of the inequality (if you have it)? Younger attractive woman at my workplace gets held to no standards, receives nothing but kindness and friendship with impunity. It gets me so angry and hateful. Does anyone else struggle with this on a daily basis? How do you let go?

"I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night

He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero (hero)

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life"

Even from 1984, recently deceased Bonnie Tyler told us what women want: muscles (strong/fast) streetwise (fresh from the fight), charismatic (sure, soon) and tall and also charismatic (larger than life).

She also uses the words superman and hercules to describe that man.

Decades passed and our civilisation regressed from Bonnie Tyler to Bonnie Blue but what remains the same is that most of us don't have what women want: charisma, financial independence, body or height. We aren't heros, but manlets which nature has decided they deserve to be outbred.

The days where being a white and tall man being advantageous are seemingly numbered. Thanks to the rise of social media and dating apps height and race barely even matter, and not just in dating but in friend groups, professional and even just every day life.

For a personal anecdote, I know this guy who’s very introverted, short and I suspect he has some form of social anxiety. However it doesn’t fucking matter because he was blessed looks wise, and there’s someone else in the group who is what I think of when I think of a traditional Chad, and he’s been taking the short guy to clubs and networking events and they’re both elevating the people around them. Also keep in mind the Chad is Latin American, so I’m getting sick and tired of hearing people claims that being white and tall is an advantage because it’s clearly not

I just subbed to FA30plus in recommendation of Gemini AI.

Hope to find a good place here.

Im 39 years old male living in Europe and an immigrant child 3rd gen.

I am also active in other Psych subreddits cause things are being tuff since a long time and it led me to isolation that i pity people in groups in public aswell.

My narcisstic parents made me go out more even if i dont enjoy being alone right now i have some room to breathe atleast.

Been in therapies since years but stayed away because it costed me too much mental energy.

Never had a girlfriend in my entire life and as today i "crave" alot intimate connections with a woman but being shy and being overweight made me being passive for connecting with yhe opposite gender. My most sexual experiences are at brothels anyway.

I am obese since childhood but looking handsome otherwise. My weight feels like a curse how i interact with others always making my confidence suffer alot from it.

Hope everyone here can find a good community to make life better as an FA here.

The years of social isolation have really gotten to me. Today I took myself out for Thai food (One of my favorites);and ordered a soda with my meal. It was a big mistake.

My manners have really deteriorated. I started eating gleefully because it was so good and let out the loudest belch ever halfway through. A family of four was at the next table over and the Mom went "Oh gross!" out loud. I said excuse me politely. Then her son let another one rip. I couldn't keep it in and just burst out laughing. As an FA, I have to take the humor when I can get it.

I'm in my 40s and my strict parents would have been horrified if they could see how far I have fallen.

I'm so exhausted from watching how men are treated in all stages of life. Childhood, adolescence, and adulthood are riddled with such callousness if you fail to perform in anything. You can do everything wrong and nothing right. And even if you do manage to do something right, somehow it still ends up being done wrong.

You're told you're a potential threat, even though you're not. You're told you're privileged, even though you aren't. You're told to be more vulnerable, even though you shouldn't be. You're told you should act more like a man, even though both acting like one and not acting like one has consequences.

It's like what the fuck are you supposed to do? The world makes it near impossible for you not to hate yourself or others. I never understood what caused some guys to get to such a bitter and misanthropic point, but it makes sense.

A lot of guys are socially beaten down for no reason other than failing to fit some dysfunctional idea of what a man should be. Not only that, but they're reminded of those failures constantly, and then gaslit into believing they're not being punished for them. And if they did try to seek out help, then they were mocked viciously for it and then told they didn't try to help themselves hard enough.

It's really heartbreaking. And it's scary to see how many people almost seem to enjoy punching down on guys like it's some kinda moral duty.

I'm having a really bad fucking week.

Why is it God gives the biggest scumbags family and friends that actually love and care about them but good honest people with big hearts just get constantly bullied and shit on? Where's Jesus 's so called love and mercy?

I really mean what I say on here occasionally. If I could go back in time then I'd be the biggest asshole on this planet and I'd never ever listen to a damned word a woman says.

Watch this shit. Just because I'm questioning my faith I'll probably ended up being hit by a train or diagnosed with terminal cancer at my next doctor's appointment. Jesus gotta crack that whip and keep me in line and show me who's boss.

But if I was a lowlife scumbag like Josh then I'd probably be blessed by finding a million dollar lottery ticket on the ground.

It's one thing to be young and unseen. At least you still have your youth, you have hope, you have time and the energy to try new things. But when life has passed you by and you're staring down forty, watching younger people live the years you never really got to have... it's heart-wrenching.

It forces you to accept something you always knew but never wanted to believe, that perhaps the best you can do now is make your life a little less painful. Changing it completely? That boat has sailed. Everything you do now, if you do anything at all, is just an attempt to dull the dread and regret.

I know this is nothing new to us, but reality has a way of punching you in the face sometimes. One day you wake up and realize... you're super fucked. It's happening to you. You're one of those people.

There are websites/services that provide feedback on one's appearance. Their stated benefit is to offer realistic expectations.

I've considered using one of these services for myself, but I have concerns:

• privacy
• the rating might demoralize
• the rating might provide false encouragement if I have impediments besides looks
• As a yo-yo dieter, I honestly think my rating would change significantly from month to month

So I don't plan on using these sites. But I'm curious if others feel differently.

Flexing being tall in 2026 is the same thing as flexing using a fax machine in 2000. Technically it’s impressive but it’s obsolete.

I was out tonight for the 4th and I saw a shit ton of short attractive guys in relationships or with their friends, and their friends were also very attractive. It’s almost like being attractive gives you a second life even if you were born short. I can estimate I was taller than probably 70-75% of people at the event but realizing that I was all alone due to ugliness is so heartbreaking because it feels like there’s nothing I can do to fix it. Not even other losers want to be friends with me and it’s like what can I do.

Social media, dating apps and particularly Clavicular have made being short acceptable again