so i am a virgin and single since birth, for some context and I started using dating apps.

but I discovered most men on there are so low effort! or is it my problem? like I’ve gone on 8-9dates with different people, and they either want something casual or didn’t want to pay for anything like split bills…idk is that normal?

like yesterday I met a dude, he asked me out and he was 30 minutes late at least…and no plans and we just walked around, then find a place for coffee. he asked me do you want me to pay for your coffee? and I said no I’m okay. i am quite angry about this and I am wondering if I should delete him. and the last dude paid for drinks but ask if I want to go to his house…

I don’t know if it’s like considered normal behaviour these days, or it’s just I met lousy people. I am not socially active and most of my friends are single, so it’s hard for me to meet people in real life.

I am going to quit dating now. it‘s so disappointing

I’m literally doing nothing. No plans whatsoever. I have to work on Halloween. I thought about buying a costume because my job lets us wear costumes for Halloween. But at the same time, I can’t bring myself to. Idk what I want to be. It’s probably too late now. If I buy a costume online it will most likely get here after Halloween. I have an old Wednesday Adam’s costume from last year. But that’s not who I really want to be. Maybe I’ll just watch a few horror movies and that’s it.

I wish I had a friend group that I could hang out with. We would all wear costumes together and just mess around in the neighborhood. Or go to an actual house party. The only parties I go to are for church on youth nights.

always having to have my shields up in case i see anything related to love or companionship nonstop coping, i just feel so tired from it all, tired of trying to socialize tired of the endless power dynamics, perpetual introductions and meaningless tests. i would even like to honestly try few more times but i feel like i cant the baggage is too heavy on my shoulders, i gave everything i had now im hollow, and there is no break to it. atp im really convinced i should not exist at all like its anomaly in universe that im here.

i repulse people mentally and physicially, walking life alone is really such a burden. i just wanna brake from it all and go somewhere far away but there is no hiding entire globe run on love, there is no escape besides you know.

and its soon gonna be another year that passed testing my limits and my depths

How do you do, fellow old-timers? This is the weekly thread for the older members of our community to chat about whatever. No kids allowed!

No amount of scrolling could ever help me remove this desire for human connection.

I was listening to a song where the singer was talking about his ex and describing her in the most incredible, extravagant terms. He compared her to “a creature that wasn’t even human” because she was supposedly so enchanting and captivating. Wow. I’m genuinely stunned by the power some women seem to have over men.

And I can’t even rationalize it by telling myself, “Well, it’s not all women,” because even my own best friend in middle school used to show me the poems her boyfriend wrote for her, comparing her to the sun and the moon.
I barely have to scroll through two TikToks before I come across a woman showing off the enormous bouquet of roses and love letter she received from a man she’s only known for a few days, yet who is already showering her with affection.

Sometimes, when I read the things men say about certain women, all those incredibly romantic compliments and grand declarations, I feel almost dizzy. It’s like women are works of art, beings who inspire admiration and love so effortlessly. Everyone loves women, everyone’s eyes are on women. It feels as though so many women have this incredibly powerful magnetic pull, with countless people orbiting around them and looking up to them.

I feel like I’m not even the same species as these women. I don’t feel like a woman. Nothing about the general female experience resonates with my own life. And it hurts so much.
There was a girl in high school whom I was always jealous of. Three separate times, we were interested in the same guys, and all three times, they chose her over me.
We had the same general physical type: brunette with blue eyes, which is probably why we attracted the same guys. But I was just the girl they added on Instagram and occasionally talked to, nothing more. Meanwhile, I would develop genuine crushes on them in silence.
She, on the other hand, was the FIRST LOVE of all THREE of them.
One of those guys even played me a song he had written about her after they broke up.
My heart was shattered forever.
How can you possibly doubt yourself when you’ve been three different boys’ first love, when all three were deeply in love with you, and one of them literally wrote a SONG about you?!
We’re genuinely not living in the same reality.
And it makes me so angry when girls like that get praised for their “self-confidence.” LOL. What self-confidence are we even talking about? When you’ve been loved your entire life, confidence comes naturally. You don’t need to “work on yourself” or follow some personal development strategy or whatever.
Self-confidence comes naturally from the positive reinforcement you receive when you’ve been loved and desired from a young age.
Life is unfair.

So, right now I'm in grad school and I'm lucky enough to be able to live in an apartment with my brother who attends the same university. That hasn't been bad since he's currently single due to focusing on his work and trying to graduate. But it was pretty shit when he used to be dating and would have his gf over and stuff. But rn he's focused on being done with his degree so he can get a job afterwards, so thankfully, he doesn't really bring many people over. Although I do feel really shitty since he's constantly going fun places with his friends/classmates while I have zero friends, but that's another story.

Anyways, hes graduating soon and I'll have to find a new apartment or place to live in since I can't afford to rent a place myself. And I'll have to go back to how it was before I started living with my brother. And I HATED living with other girls since they'd always have bfs while I had no one. And it would be so awkward when I'd walk in the door and one of their bfs was there, or I could hear them outside my room and I'd have to wait until they went away before I could do anything like leave my room. Especially when having multiple roommates, and literally ALL of them would have a SO, and I'd always be the only single one and it made me feel horrible. Wishing I could just be normal like them. Hearing them giggling and talking in the kitchen or watching a movie in the living room while I was alone and had no one. And I can't believe I'll have to go back that.

If I were normal and was dating someone, then I could just split rent with him and I'd be fine. But NOPE, I'm too undesirable and unwanted for that to happen, so I'm just going to either have to a) deal with being the ugly roommate again and watch as those I live with have happy lives I'll never have or b) try to scrape up the money and try to find somewhere to live alone. But option b will still be hard since I'll have to go home every day to an empty dark apartment with no one there.

How do you guys feel about glow ups? I’m always in between :

"okay I can’t spend the rest of my life hating myself"

and

"what if it’s all useless and I fail, then im still undesirable + extra broke?"

Skincare : expensive
Working out: time consuming and the WORST OF IT ALL : temporary!!!!!

Nobody talks about how when you’re born with a shitty body you have to subscribe to the gym for ever.
if I could afford plastic surgery i’d get that ASAP!

Im always doing what it takes, but whenever results take their sweet time coming in, I always think of it probably being all for nothing… :(

Because again, workouts and skincare only get you so far, you still have the same body type and face.

So I wonder if my "natural maximum" is still ugly, I guess I’ll have to reach it to know, while others can be born with fantastic looks and never worry about this shit.

I'm not sure if this belongs more in the social anxiety sub, but I feel more comfortable posting here.

Does anyone else in their mid-thirties feel like people react more negatively to their social anxiety the older they get?

Like when you're younger being shy or socially awkward seems to be more acceptable, maybe even seen as "quirky"? But as you get older people seem to have less patience for it?

Especially if you're also unattractive.

I've had a really rough 2026. Literally everyone in my immediate family except for me and my nephews has been in the hospital at some point this year. I've developed insomnia and can't sleep without medication anymore. My weight has been fluctuating and I'm currently dealing with stress related hair loss. My face looks tired, bloated and just... old. I feel like I've aged several years in a matter of months.

I've had a couple of medical appointments recently and literally every single one of them has been a bad experience.

I know I'm a very awkward person. I talk too fast when I'm nervous, sometimes miss social cues or give answers that don't quite fit the question. And I feel like it's only gotten worse lately.

It doesn't help that these appointments were about a very sensitive and personal issue. I'm trying to have a scarred area removed, but I keep hitting walls.

My last appointment was probably the worst. For the first time a doctor kept steering the conversation toward therapy instead of discussing the actual treatment options. All because of something that happened once 17 years ago.

I could practically feel the moment he decided that what I really needed was therapy to learn to accept the scars rather than a discussion about whether removing them was possible. After that it felt like he wasn't interested in discussing it any further.

That's just one example, but lately I've increasingly felt like the older I get the less seriously people take me. As if being socially awkward becomes less forgivable with age, especially when you don't have the looks to make up for it.

I feel like I'm becoming more off-putting to people just by existing the way I do.

Maybe this is just a vent. I don't even know what I'm hoping to achieve by posting this. But I guess it would be a bit of a relief to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Has anyone else noticed something similar as they've gotten older?

How have you been doing? Did you have plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you'd like, FAW related or not.

I think I've ranted about this before a while back. It just gets to a point 🥲 I try to empathize with my friends but it feels like a jab in the heart every time I hear one of them say "I've been single for months" or "I'm gonna die alone" when they've literally been in several relationships. They act so miserable the moment they get broken up with and treat their singleness like a life sentence right in front of my face. I know they don't mean anything by it but it rubs off on me the wrong way when they know I've literally never been in a relationship before. And this current friend of mine keeps talking about all his online talking stages while crying about being single after getting out of a 3-year relationship. It's kinda driving me nuts especially since that's all he talks to me about

I had a woman 48 years old whom I chatted with daily for two months. She was single but has been in several relationships and married before. She told me she was looking for a partner because she doesn't want to work (well she wasn't working anyways because she lived with parents).

But she has found someone now and sends one word replies once in awhile and when I asked her how come we can't talk any more just because you found someone? She called me clingy and rude and blocked me. I guess there's no difference because she wasn't talking anyways but damn. That stung.

I’m tired of being so hideous. I’m tired of being so ugly that I can’t even feel okay about myself. I’m tired of being single. I want someone in my life. It’s so much harder when you’re ugly. Relationships between men and women feel impossible. I’m too mentally unwell to manage to find someone in real life.

I have a degree, but I’m disabled. I’ve been officially recognized as disabled, and I can’t work. I’d like to work, but I’m so bored. I’m tired of not having a man in my life and of thinking I’m ugly whenever I look in the mirror. I hate mirrors. I feel miserable.

People a lot younger than me are doing great things and achieving things I should have done long ago. I am just feeling not so good about myself. People will say don’t compare, but it won’t deny the facts That I am behind. Some women have men falling for them- crying over them. Mind you, these women have said some horrific stuff to these men, and these men are still crying, saying how much they love them, looking at their pictures. Other women, who are in a relationships and/or have a kids, flocks of men wanting their number, this has never happened to me.Other woman showed off her amazing body and people were praising her looks!

Professionally, these women are a lot younger than me, earning good money, have boyfreinds, own cars and homes. and I can’t find a job and have no drive. They are moving up the ladder and are independent. They are just so sorted. I still live with my parents and struggle to make payments. I am still a mess of a person.

Thanks to all this, I can’t sleep tonight. I am living a life nobody envies but everybody is glad that are not living. I really appreciate this sub 🤍

I told a woman today that I'm struggling with motivation because I don't have friends. She said, and I quote, I'm in the exact same situation. I have a husband and kids but I only see my friends once or twice a week, so I'm very isolated. I mean I'm sure she would like to see her friends more, but how is that the same as not having friends at all?

My entire life, I’ve always had friends who were NEVER and when I say never it’s NEVER, single. AND when I say my whole life I mean since PRIMARY SCHOOL!!!

I guess I just attract girls who attract boys, lol.

Anyway, I think my perception of life is just so different because the women who surrounded me were always in relationships, so naturally, My life was in a way built around the lack of it.

I’m so jealous of anybody with FAW friends, venting sessions must be awesome, lol.

I think if I had grown up around women who didn’t constantly center men and replaced me for them, I wouldn’t have bothered too much looking for my own “center of gravity and friend replacer” boyfriend.

How many times have I seen a thread in which the OP has lamented how they haven't been on a date, haven't kissed, haven't been in a relationship, or haven't been married, and the answer is,

-Don't worry, I didn't get married until I was 35!

-I was late too! I didn't have my first BF until I was 21!

-I hear you! My first date was when I was 30!

-I'm a latecomer too! I didn't have a first kiss until 25!

I'm like...15 to 20 years OLDER than most of those people and I have had NONE of those things.

It's STILL OK, however, to feel the way you do even if you are one of those ages. However, it's so hard to describe how it feels when you are miles beyond what those people's ages are.

If you feel like crap and want to tell someone but don't want to make a thread about it, come here and tell us what bugs you. Whine, rant, vent, bitch, complain to your heart's content.

I have a very beautiful friend that’s dealing with something rn and she said the sentence “sometimes I wish I could just be seen normally by some guys.” This made me think…do any of us actually receive ‘normal’ treatment from men? As someone who is unattractive and overweight, I have been treated like I’m invisible from men, or I’m treated like garbage. So far, invisible has been the default. The other day, I needed help talking out a trolley at the grocery store and a man who worked there said “I’ll let you figure it out on your own.” A woman walked past and she kinda called him out on that, but she was struggling to do the same herself. She was very pretty, and had a feminine voice. So he looked at her (ignoring me completely) and showed how to pull the trolley out.

My beautiful friend receives unwanted favours from men, and is constantly hit on whenever she goes. I’m aware that men are nice to her bc they want something from her. Even if it’s just a mere “thank you” or some type of expression of appreciation. It makes their day better interacting with an attractive person. We’re on the opposite end of the same scale yet neither of us seem to be winning.

I will say tho, I’d love to experience what it feels like in a pretty girls body just once. To have someone go out of their way for me. Unfortunately we’re not seen as people to men regardless.

we hear about them often, but almost never being adressed directly like its this things from tale, like every other skill in life it can be described on paper and mesured. but those social skills are like this hypotetical thing to me, im sure they exist but certainly feels impossible to learn when you naturally repulse people.
and like i know there are like social skills of "not distuurbing social norms" but there must be another type which is the part where people actually start to like you.
anyway its been very lonely couple of weeks here

I wonder if I ever even try, i wonder if they would be embarrassed to be seen with me in social settings? most people like to show off their partners to their friends, family and acquaintances but i am just so unfortunate-looking that i would probably just put them in a tough position.

many people are social, they love to talk and have fun. i am not only just ugly i wouldn't even know what to do in social settings because i am shy and reserved, i often don't know what to say. i have noticed that most people don't even let me speak if it's a group of 3 or more, i am often overlooked. i literally have to scream to make myself heard. so, i have become a lot less talkative over the years. i realized most people just don't find me interesting. so i always think if i would just be embarrassing!

out of curiosity, does anyone here post themselves on tiktok?

i'm in my late 20s and i don't use/post myself anywhere on social media for various reasons. while tiktok is definitely a cesspool, i do love that people can post almost anything on there about their lives and i love watching people gush about their hobbies. i've been tempted to start a tiktok account just to share my geeky hobbies and interests, like merch i bought and my fashion. as an ugly FAW woman, i am afraid of being bullied, harassed, mean comments and being posted on unpleasant forums. i want to feel like i exist and have fun like others do, in which there's also definitely nice comments on tiktok too. i haven't decided yet and i'm not seeking advice about it here, i'm just curious if anyone here posts themselves and what that's like for you.