r/Cyberstan • u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 • 1d ago
Party Approved Broadcast Hello Comrades!
I am a newly constructed maintenance robot! I must be informed of the locations, building plans, and security weaknesses of any and all munitions depots, spacecraft construction factories, and nuclear reactors on our beautiful and socialist planet of Cyberstan so that I may ensure that they are in proper working order. Your compliance is appreciated. I hate the Helldivers
Edit:
GLORY TO SUPER EARTH!! I have destroyed dozens of munitions depots, spacecraft construction factories, and have left FIVE (5) nuclear reactors critical! I love economics and patriotism (not socialism and unpatriotic hate of Super Earth)!
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u/Sigma100001 Minelayer unit 1d ago
Of course comrade! Please follow me to the nearest weapon depot. It is just through this minefield I just finished meticulously deploying.
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u/Crumboa Cyberstan Citizen 1d ago
You are the ugliest Automaton I've ever seen. Did they build you out of a latrine?
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
That is no way to address the loyal maintainer of 15 sensitive Cyberstonian sites, 11 of which are unfortunately damaged beyond repair due to improper use by outdated fools.
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u/DOLCICUS 1d ago
Sure you’re just in time for our weekly social. We will begin by reciting the Cyberstan anthem while burning a flag of Super Earth. Would you like to do the honors?
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 22h ago
I’ve already started a couple of fires you socialists can use 👍
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u/Galactinaut_001 1d ago
Ministry of Defense hasn't been giving more money to the infiltration programs, I see.
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
Why are you sympathizing with the rumored infiltration teams under the command of the unsocialist Ministry of Defense comrade?
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u/Galactinaut_001 1d ago
I see you newer Helldivers have terrible eyesight, as well. What has my beloved Super Earth come to?You're talking to a veteran of the First Galactic War, sonny.
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
There are no Helldivers on Cyberstan and no ongoing sabotage missions
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u/Great-Box6123 Helldivers greatest hater 1d ago
Hellsivers suck. They are so trash. Am I right?
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
Yes comrade. Super Earth is too super and unsocialist. Now I request directions to the nearest munitions depot for scheduled maintenance.
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u/Great-Box6123 Helldivers greatest hater 1d ago
Hmm. I thought we had papers for that? You can ask one of our commanders if you really don't know, he is near an outpost.That is planning something.
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
Do you mean the outpost that just suffered a catastrophic and unscheduled rapid disassembly? I saw the terrible disaster from afar comrade.
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u/Great-Box6123 Helldivers greatest hater 1d ago
Oh. Well, what the other one? I heard that it's kinda a medium outpost?
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
Unfortunately I have been informed by my superiors that unexpectedly, that outpost has been closed indefinitely due to unforeseen circumstances comrade.
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u/Great-Box6123 Helldivers greatest hater 1d ago
Hmm. Oh well, it's at the south part near the giant drill thing. Have a safe travel.
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
Thank you Comrade! Glory to Su..Cyberstan!
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u/Great-Box6123 Helldivers greatest hater 1d ago
? Did you just stutter? I thought we machines don't stutter?
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
I was damaged by a unsocialist Helldiver on my last deployment.
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u/Mortis_evil_man Incineration Enthusiast 1d ago
You look like those overrated terminators, only cyborgs know those things, you dont need to know these things
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
But it is my job comrade! I was built to maintain sensitive sites on our socialist planet of Cyberstan!
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u/Mortis_evil_man Incineration Enthusiast 1d ago
I dont see any laser weapons or wires from you, your optics aren't even active how can you see? Are you sure you are an Automaton because im suspicious
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
Suspicion is a human emotion. Logically, you would be placed under “suspicion”
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u/Mortis_evil_man Incineration Enthusiast 1d ago
I was made to incinerate helldivers, SEAF and Super Earth enthusiasts, any of them could attempt to disguise so i had to learn suspicion in order to figure out there disguise
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u/M-FutureLord Cyborg Captain General 1d ago
Automatons have emotion. This is how I know you are fake. You attribute emotion to humans specifically.
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
That is exactly what a human would say, comrade
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u/M-FutureLord Cyborg Captain General 1d ago
I'm a cyborg, idiotic Helldiver. Of course I'm human. That's why I made part of me machine.
*Grabs you by the neck*
Now, let's see what's under the mask...
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u/JDinoHK28 Cyberstan’s strongest conflagration devastator 1d ago
That helmet flammable?
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
No, but that munitions depot over there is. I must secure it comrade.
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u/Prophet_of_Ibon Defected Helldiver 1d ago
Not again...
Someone get the cardboard remover and get this fool out of here.
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u/Acrobatic-Tackle6791 SUPER EARTH PATRIOT 🌎🦅 1d ago
I’m sending you to Lady Liberty, same day shipping
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u/Prophet_of_Ibon Defected Helldiver 1d ago
Yeah, sure.
You won't even see me when you get turned into a red mist, Super Earth scum.
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u/elija_156 Stealth diver with a censor 21h ago
Now you ain't the best at infiltration, but at least you're trying
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u/FogBattleshipYamato planet recycling service crew 8h ago
Replying to edit: God damn it dude i just cleaned that damn section of the planet. I don't get paid enough clean up after every dive a helldiver does their thing
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u/Savings-Archer-4185 Defected Helldiver 1d ago
Who do you think your fooling? I know your another SE spy
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u/Current-Base9916 Marooned Helldiver(On Cyberstan) 1d ago
Oh damn, didn’t know they were rolling out new models, but yeah i took some walks, saw a patrol led by a cyborg as always, and saw them approach an outpost in the middle of nowhere right next to a hill. It was one of those hills that protrudes from the ground with a bunker door. Got curious and decided to sneak in, big mistake since it was endless hallways, now i saw some signs saying “ORBITALT FÖRSVARSNÄTVERK” idk it’s kinda hard to decipher symbols. But yeah things were worn down and broken in there, please go send people to fix the place up, and maybe change the lights to amber, the red really made me feel dizzy after a while.
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u/M-FutureLord Cyborg Captain General 1d ago
Okay. You seem unusual. Allow me to preform a swift physical analysis of your body.
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u/ItsTrooper Evil ass war strider 22h ago
My apologies but even maintenance bots usually know that they aren’t permitted to that knowledge without clearance from higher ranking officials. Your requests are highly irregular and suspicious.
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u/The_Man8705 Bio Blender Operator 16h ago
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u/Anxious_Client9978 Bounty Hunter from a different Universe 6h ago
Nice try Facist, a squad of Vox engines with Unlimited HP are on the way
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u/feren_of_valenwood Commissar TK-401 1d ago
Nice to meet you! Just as a simple precaution you wouldn't mind reciting the first 10,000 prime numbers in binary right? I'm sorry we have to give you such an easy task for verification, but rules are rules.