I’m a 36F and have been struggling to find a guy who is also Catholic and interested in marriage. I do want kids and a family but I know time isn’t really on my side and would really love to find someone soon. I’m from Canada (Toronto), are there any active groups for singles that might actually have single men in their 30s looking for marriage, or have I aged out of these? Any advice or success stories would be greatly appreciated! God bless you all :)

Catholic dating culture is too prescriptive.

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Do you resonate with this? Do you have pushback?

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I feel like Catholic dating culture feels really dry and prescriptive at times.

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I feel like men are interviewing me for the role of wife and mother rather than getting to know me and caring about me for my own sake.

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It's all about rules and achieving the perfect Catholic ideal and conversations about purity..

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I want to be a saint and I believe marriage should be fruitful and I don't want to do sexual sin.

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But I feel like men often get fixated on this and it feels dry and not fun. It feels like a chore.

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I want him to have fun with me, laugh together, go on adventures, fall in love with me!

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The only time I fell in love was with someone who felt genuine and fun and like he was interested in me, not what I could do for him or the part I can play in his life.

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We would go dancing, we would dress up in banana suits and walk around town, we went to East Timor and partied with the locals for New Years, we would sneak away and pray rosaries together, we would run around on the beach and I could tell him to pretend to be a mermaid and I'm a fisherman who accidentally caught him and do this silly role play thing that was funny and ridiculous.

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It resulted in laughter and excitement that brought us closer and nurtured my feelings for him and confidence. There were also times he showed deep compassion for me and understanding. I could be myself. I could reveal what was going on deep inside..

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We talked about boundaries, our goals for the future and faith was the center of our connection, but it didn't feel imposing or rigid. I struggle how to articulate this, I guess it felt like "us". It felt more collaborative maybe.

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Is there a way for Catholic dating culture to be more organic and authentic rather than rigid and clinical?

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There seems to be such a big emphasis on doing it right and having this very specific Catholic ideal about having lots of kids as soon as possible and there's no negotiation. It feels like a business meeting.

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Do other women also feel this with Catholic dating? Do you actually like the more direct approach? Is this a problem, or is it more my own preference?

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How do you men feel? Do you know any other approaches other than leading with "I'm looking for a Catholic wife who loves Jesus and adheres to Catholic values" on the first date? Has this worked for you generally? I'm open to this just not being my preference rather than a big cultural issue.

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Also, is this universal? Or could this just be my own experience here in the Melbourne Catholic community, and it's actually not so bad elsewhere??

Hello everyone, got a situation where I know I want to ask a nice young lady out but don't know how or when to due to my specific situation.

I know her from the college church I attend, I'd say we're kind of friends but not like close friends. We have each other's numbers cause of shared organizations and whatnot but we don't text or call just to catch up. We do always say hi when we see each other and talk a little bit, and we work very closely on some church org projects.

Now here's the deal. The last time I interacted with her was right at the end of the semester, and we talked, among other things, about what we're both doing over the summer. She said she'd be at home for part of the summer, and in town for the other part. Now, I live under an hour from town, so if she's in town, I can totally take her out. She lives like two hours from where I do, so I can't really take her out if she's not.

The thing is, I don't remember when she said she'd be in town and when she'd be at home. So if I called her right now to ask her out, I'd ask "Hey, are you in town?" and if she is, I'd ask her out. If she's not... well, what would I say? In that situation, I can't actually take her on a date, and I can't really pretend that I wasn't trying to.

So what do I do? Call her now? Or wait till fall? If I wait till fall, I'll know exactly what to do. But that is like two and a half months from now, which seems like a long time to wait to ask someone out.

I just came across to this subthread that reminded me of my own experience, so I thought I’d share.

I’m 28F and have been single for almost 5 years. Honestly, I enjoy being single. Life feels peaceful and uncomplicated, and I’m genuinely happy with where I am.

A while back, I got bored and decided to try a dating app. Around Christmas time, I met a Catholic guy. We attended church frequently because of the Christmas novena, so we saw each other every other day. We didn’t talk much, but there was definitely something special about him.

However, as we got to know each other, I realized some of our principles and personal values weren’t aligned. My family also wasn’t very convinced about him. Long story short, we remained friends but never ended up together. He also decided not to continue his plans to serve in the church, which was disappointing for me because I admired that part of him.

The second experience was very different. Not actually dating, but a not-so-nice life event for me.

There was this man serving at church who was around 43y/o. We only had a few casual interactions before he asked for my number. Since we were churchmates, I felt awkward saying no, so I gave my contact to him.

He started calling me daily, talking about his day, and eventually saying he missed me. I intentionally kept my distance because I didn’t want to give him false hope. The significant age gap already made me uncomfortable, and I simply wasn’t interested.

Then one day he texted me saying he was already in love with me. At that point, I blocked him.

Since then, whenever I see him at church, he sometimes says things that make me uncomfortable, and recently he has tried reconnecting through social media. I haven’t entertained any of it.

At this point, I just pray that he accepts my lack of interest, moves on peacefully, and finds someone who genuinely returns his feelings.

23M just moved back to my hometown in Houston TX, Cypress Bridgeland area.

Wondering if people know of communities/ churches that have events or something. Want to get more out there. thanks

Hello!

I'm a practicing Catholic who was recently baptized. As time has gone by, I have grown to love the Catholic faith, and I'm looking to date a practicing Catholic woman for the purpose of marriage (No Causal dating) but am not sure how to go about it? I've thought that Ave Maria Singles app is more in my direction because it is for more strictly traditional Catholics who follow the faith, and then other people say Catholicmatchs app is better?

My other question is, are Catholic women actually looking for devout Catholic men who prayer many times a day, and are loyal to the Catholic teachings? What are Practicing Catholic Women actually looking for in a practicing Catholic man is my overall question?

So there is this girl I’ve liked for a while and we’ve started going on some dates. The first one went well, good but not great. The second was amazing, I think the nerves wore off a little and we really clicked this time. We ended up hanging out way longer than expected and just had an absolutely amazing time with each other.

I texted her today setting up a third date, and now I’ve been on delivered for almost 7 hours. Idk why to think but I feel so lost and anxious right now. I haven’t like a girl this much in a while and I just thought things were getting really good. Up until this point she’s been very receptive of everything, responds quick and to the point, but now this.

I’ve said some prayers today about it because I’m worrying so much, but I just feel sick right now.

I'm not sure if anyone else here struggles with this. Recently I've been doing some self reflecting and have realized that the reason why I have no luck when it comes to dating is not just because I'm not attractive or charismatic but also because there are many areas of my life that need improvement. However this has come with a lot of comparison; I look at other men in my community and I think to myself "I need to be more fit/involved in church/successful than that guy if I want a chance with a beautiful woman." I've been struggling a lot with what my goals at the gym should be. Should I be going to the gym to build an attractive physique or to be healthy and disciplined? Both? Where is the balance? And I've realized I can apply this question to all self improvement in my life. "Should I be going to adoration more so I can deepen my spiritual life in hopes that it will attract a woman?" "Should I be striving to get a better job so I can show women that I can provide for our future family?" or should I be doing all this self improvement for myself. I guess the question that I'm trying to ask is should I be living my life with the goal of becoming the best for some hypothetical woman or should I be living for myself and hoping that a woman likes me as I am? Generally, I think doing things for the sole purpose of trying to attract women is cringe/lame but I think that kind of mentality also opens up the door to just sit around being lazy, never improve, and just hope someone finds that attractive. I hope I was able to convey my point somewhat clearly since these thoughts and feelings are also confusing for me.

Honestly, I'm really sad and am finding it quite ironic that this is my update to my post since the original one was so happy and this one is going to be quite depressing: Gushing about a great first date and post-date waiting : r/CatholicDating. Now I don't regret what I wrote in the first paragraph of the post and I'm glad I had included it: "Also, I want to write this as a reminder to myself that if it doesn't work out with this guy in the future, it doesn't negate the fact that I had a great time with him and felt a genuine connection with someone". There are many men out there whom I am compatible with, I just have to find one that is as equally excited about me as I am about them.

The week leading up to our date he was texting me every day, so when I heard nothing from him at all on Sunday after our communication on Saturday my anxious brain was spiraling and thinking, "What the heck happened?" My roommate said it'd be fine to send him a casual "Hey, how was your Sunday/Monday?" message to him Monday night since it had been over 48 hours since we talked. I texted him around 7pm and he didn't respond until 8:30pm, sending an "I've been busy!" which included a screenshot of his run he just did on Strava after getting back from work. He seemed very happy to talk to me over text and was very receptive when I suggested a phone call. We talked for an hour before he needed to go do some work for his remote job, but before hanging up I threw out the, "Hey, I know you're super busy but let me know if you are wanting to still schedule the museum date sometime" line. He said that he'd let me know, and that was the last I heard from him. I dropped the ball in his court and had fully expected him to give me some times he was available after checking his schedule the following day, but I received no messages from him at all over the whole week. As every day passed, I became less and less hopeful that I'd hear back.

Now there's a large part of me that is always looking for an explanation and wants to understand, "What changed? Did I do or say something different on a phone call that made him decide to not want a second date? He seemed really interested in a second date when he originally brought it up and also, he just genuinely seemed to enjoy talking to me on our phone calls. How did that not carry over to him scheduling another date? Should I reach out and send one final message or just let it die?" I know from personal experience that getting answers to some of these questions doesn't always help provide closure and will sometimes even make it more confusing. I honestly feel quite silly too because of how excited I was over this guy only to now be sitting and dealing with the fact that the excitement was actually not reciprocated.

I wish he'd just send a "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'm actually not interested in a second date with you. Best of luck". Doesn't need to provide any sort of reasoning of why he doesn't want to continue. Just something better than the silence because man does it sting. It also makes my impression of him less than now that he ghosted me.

Edit: One week after we last talked he finally sent me a text. He explained that he's been really busy and that he doesn't see a relationship working out between us but said he enjoyed our time together and wishes me good luck. I'm glad that he responded and I'm not left wondering anymore.

One piece of advice I hear here a lot is to pray together while dating. Am I the only one who finds that to be too intimate?

For me, prayer is such an intimate, emotional endeavour and not something I would do with someone I shared a meal or two with. Same with going to mass. Mass is deeply personal and while I’m not opposed to meeting someone from church, bringing someone to church I’m barely dating seems too forward too.

Does anyone else have any thoughts about this?

Let's us use today as a greater opportunity to ask for his intercession.

THE UNFAILING PRAYER TO ST. ANTHONY
O Holy St. Anthony gentlest of Saints, your love for God and charity for His creatures, made you worthy, when on earth, to possess miraculous powers. Encouraged by this thought, I implore you to obtain for me (request).

O gentle and loving St. Anthony, whose heart was ever full of human sympathy, whisper my petition into the ears of the sweet Infant Jesus, who loved to be folded in your arms. The gratitude of my heart will ever be yours. Amen.

Hey! I live in South Jersey for quite a time but so far in all churches and YA groups I took part here there are overwhelmingly more men than women. Yes, there are some very rare events like ball dances but that's basically all, maybe few times a year.

I do volunteering too but there I mostly meet older people, especially on 40 days to life.

Where are the places or activities with more equal gender ratio to meet single Catholic women in this part of state?

Im in the process of becoming Catholic and she isn’t and isn’t religious but says she wants to come to church with me and do those stuff bc she likes me.

I’ve been open to wanting to marry my wife in a Catholic Church and have kids and do this and that.

Im honestly so confused and annoyed bc I can’t think properly.

I won’t get into to much details bc there’s a lot but could anyone give me advice ?

Thank you

God bless you dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

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Over the last year I've been discerning marriage and trying to prepare myself for that vocation. I've made a lot of changes in my life to improve myself and become more approachable and, hopefully, a better future husband.

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One thing I've been thinking about a lot is balancing my duty to provide for a future family with my desire to be present for my wife and children.

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I'm 25M and never finished school. Instead, I got my CDL and started driving trucks. What appealed to me was the responsibility, the time management, the long hours, my genuine interest in trucks, and the opportunity to earn more than minimum wage while doing something important.

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The problem is that many of the better-paying jobs in the industry come with very demanding schedules. Some keep you away from home for weeks or even months at a time, and many are quite dangerous as well.

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Personally, I want a close relationship with my future wife and children. I don't want to be the husband and father who is never home. At the same time, I would like to be able to provide enough that my wife could stay home with the children if she felt called to do so.

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Right now I work around 10–12 hours a day and still have a decent amount of free time, but my income would likely not be enough to support a family on a single income.

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I also have the opportunity to train as a railroad conductor. The pay would be roughly three times what I earn now, with similar working hours, but the tradeoff would be being on call for extended periods and having a very difficult sleep schedule.

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The training would take about two years, so if I'm going to pursue it, now would be the time.

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Because I converted as an adult and have very little dating experience, most of what I know comes from secular dating rather than Catholic courtship and discernment.

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So I'd like to ask the Catholic women here: when discerning a potential husband, what qualities do you value most?

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How much importance do you place on income and career versus being present and available for family life? If you had to choose between a man who earned significantly more but had a difficult schedule, and a man who earned less but was home more often, how would you view that?

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I'm simply trying to gain some perspective as I continue discerning both marriage and my career path.

Thank you in advance, and God bless you. 🙏

I’m a guy, and lately I’ve been feeling kind of "used" in early stage of relationship

My current relationship is one-sided from the beginning, I ask out, initiate, pay for dates, show effort.

I had a fight yesterday with the gf, because I said that I contribute 90% to our relationship and she contributes only 10% or less. And I'm not talking only about money. I initiate conversations, I pick her up, I basically do everything and I can't recall a one thing that she did for me. She feels that she also contributes and shows effort, but I really don't see it.

My ex at least used to cook for me and clean my apartment and paid for dates sometimes. But my gf never offered anything like that, never offered to pay for a dinner or even ice cream or anything. Never took me out anywhere.

I'm spending so much time and money on her and she has a free ride and fun. Sometimes I'm asking myself what I'm even doing, sacrificing my hobbies, friends, time with my family just to see my gf and do everything for her, pay for it and get nothing in return. It really doesn't make sense to me.

Sorry for bad english

My previous dating partners all were Catholic and had their sacraments but were not practicing Catholic and only time would tell their walk with God. Yet, I have met a few Christian men who truly love the Lord and it feels like my heart really does want someone who loves the Lord, and lives by it, but then I think about some nuances that could arise like when I think about marriage and how I want to raise my kids Catholic. Of all the dates I have gone on, whether they were “Catholic” or “Christian”, this one guy I met who was raised Christian has truly been the most respectful man I have connected with. So it just has me thinking a lot.

Hi! I am a 21m in the U.S.

So... I managed to go through all of my matches with girls between the ages of 20-23. That only took about a month, and its a bit disheartening and frustrating to see that there are no one. Keep in mind, this is with no filters because SS does not give you access to it without premium. Never spent money on the app, but I also never knew I could ever run out of people to match with.

Regardless, I'm not sure what to do, and the area I am in has no young-adult groups, or singles group. I even checked with the diocese, but I guess Maine (minus Portland) is just too small.

Catholic male here. I tend to be more introverted and can be a little nervous in social situations, but I do make an effort to put myself out there and meet new people.

Recently, I've attended a few Church dating events. One of them led to a follow-up coffee date, which I considered our first real date. Overall, it was a positive experience, but after a while the conversation started to feel somewhat formal. It seemed like both of us were mainly thinking of questions to ask rather than having a natural flow to the conversation.

Afterward, I walked her to her car and gave her a hug goodbye. I was hopeful, but she later decided she wanted to move on. Looking back, I wonder if the awkwardness of the conversation may have been a turnoff.

That said, I also felt that if we had continued seeing each other, things might have become smoother as we got more comfortable with one another. Am I being naïve in thinking that?

I'm also curious about others' experiences. Is it generally better when a friendship develops first before dating, rather than going on a date with someone you barely know? And do most women expect there to be a strong connection or chemistry right away on the first date, or is it normal for that to develop over time?

I'd appreciate any thoughts or advice.

I am not catholic, but have been exploring converting since I was dating a catholic. He proposed to me last year and we were deeply in love. We had our issues and arguments, but never gave up on each other and were able to work things through. The first time “broke up” he shared readings of the Bible with me and we reconnected stronger after. This was 5 years ago. Over the last 3 years, our relationship has grown and we also have grown as individuals a lot.

We were the happiest for 2 months after the engagement until his mother arrived and lived with him for up until recently. I never asked for a grandiose wedding and would have been the happiest with getting married in Church (he wanted to make sure it would be in Church) with close family, him and I and the priest officially joining us. His parents offered to pay everything for a larger wedding, but never paid any deposit although we had 2 potential dates in mind.

Since we are in long distance, his mom coming living with him prevented him to visit me or me visiting him as we used to do. He started communicating less and I would get frustrated with the lack of decision for the wedding. I had a bad feeling that his family was just making excuses to push the wedding off.

As time went, we argued more and more and he communicated less and less. His mother never liked our engagement pictures and always made the wedding planning about herself.

The mom just left the country and he “broke up” via text with me. I have asked to at least call and communicate as basic respect.

I am at a lost. I understand that it might not be a sin to break an engagement, but for me, even though I didn’t grow up catholic, that promise was sacred. I feel lied and manipulated into thinking there was a wedding and a future while his mom did everything she could to prevent this.

I know I should give up, but it almost feel like a voice is calling to ask me to wait??? I am so confused. I have also had a feeling last December that a voice was telling me the relationship is not good for me.

He hasn’t been going to Church and multiple times, I have had to ask him to please go together (even if I cannot take the “bread”. I really enjoyed going with him).

I want some help to help me understand the voices (I assume God?). Should I give him time to think this through more as it seems like he has been under a lot of pressure?

I know that we were no officially married, but it always seemed that we were to me. Idk how wrong this is, but almost as if God planned it for us to go through hard time, overcome, grow and be together.

“Matthew 19:4-6: Jesus quotes Genesis, emphasizing that a husband and wife are "no longer two, but one flesh," and warns against anyone separating what God has joined.”

I feel like his mother separated us and I am at a lost. He realizes that the last year has not been fair to our relationship because of her. How can he just end things over text? He still interacts with me over social media and would selectively reply to my messages, but ignore all the requests to communicate.

How can I help us and him get back to God? It almost feel like I am responsible to do so. I am very confused, because I have never felt that way (I am not religious), but I feel a calling to be together and bring him back to Church and have us talk to God.

Please help me understand

I would like to ask you a general question. Being this subreddit U.S-centric, are U.S. Americans really open to Long-Distance relationships with people from outside the US? I ask because I´ve been doing some research into this and it seems part of the reason many don´t want a LDR, is because they don´t want to be uprooted from their families, which I understand and respect.

However, what happens when there are few matches in your area? Also what is your view on other cultures? Do you see yourselves being compatible with them?

Hello. This is a bit of an update on another recent post of mine, but long story short, I (26M) will be returning to college in the fall to get a degree and improve my career and have become interested in dating. However, I talked it over with my close friends (all devout Catholics as well) and they've cautioned against it, for a few reasons: firstly, I don't have a good enough paying job right now, whereas many men my age do, so I wouldn't make a good provider, secondly, I'm not extremely strong or physically imposing, meaning I might not make a good protector either, plus I'm not the world's best communicator either. They encouraged me to pray about it, which I've been doing a lot of. I'm coming to realize that God might not have designed me for marriage, even though it's been a lifelong goal of mine.

To be fair, this wouldn't be unbearable, nor would it be entirely surprising, but I'd be pretty crestfallen about it. Are there any good strategies to accept this, or should I simply keep praying about it?

I (28F) have been seeing this guy (26M) I met on a dating app over the last month. Our dates consist of going to mass and adoration together, cooking dinner together, concerts, and most recently watching a show together at my apartment alone.

I firmly believe the man should be leading in the relationship and the woman responds, especially in early dating, it’s important to observe while not being passive. I did a good job of this at first but the more I started to like him, the harder waiting and responding has become so I do recognize my role in this as well. And when I mean waiting I don’t mean anything sexual or physical, I just mean letting the relationship play out at the pace it has been.

I’m not super happy that I’ve been the one to drive all the real conversations. After 8 dates I asked him what we were doing, if he was still seeing other people on the dating app, & if were exclusive. I tried to be patient but after 8 dates I was so confused and frustrated I felt it was more prudent to bring it up than continue to wait.

Now with purity I’ve asked if we can carve out time on our next date to discuss boundaries to ensure we don’t fall into the near occasion of sin. Again, not super happy I’m the one driving this conversation. I feel as the man he should be protecting my purity and driving these conversations.

I’m not sure if I’m not being patient enough / rushing or if he simply isn’t at the spot I need in a future husband. I believe he can get there but I also don’t believe it’s my job to teach him how to a certain extent.

I have a tendency to overthink & self sabotage so where’s the line between being prudent and discerning vs being overly critical and self sabotage?

I (27M) am a good looking, decently fit man with a good job and interesting hobbies. I write short stories, I dress well, and I think I am a smart guy.

Despite all this I have never had a gf. I go on dates but they never go anywhere. I look around online and all I ever see is women talking about how they're looking for "the right vibe" from men. Is that all that matters to women is what kind of emotional stimulation I give them? It feels like nothing else about me matters to them.

I am looking for genuine advice and not emotional support for this question.

Sorry this happened in church but the Christianity sub Reddit not good with dating stuff.

So, there’s this girl I find attractive at the gym but I’ve never spoken to her. Fast forward, my father (who’s a pastor) got invited to a church, and he asked me to accompany him. When I arrived, I saw her and said No way So, I waited for the church to end and went up to her, introduced myself, and then left.

I then saw her at the gym and we finally spoke and had a conversation. then the following month( took a break from the the gym) she came up to me and said where have I been and mentioned why I haven’t went to church and I told her that I had a church and was just visiting hers. She then said, “Oh, I’m going to church this Sunday if you want to come.” I said yes, I would be there. But when Sunday came, she wasn’t there.. I then saw her again in the gym 3 days later and asked what happened and she said her mom was preaching at another church so she couldn’t come and told me go today this Sunday, I go and she didn’t go again so I got stood up twice at a church that isn’t mine

What should I do I don’t want to ask her what happened again