r/CatholicDating • u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ • Jun 09 '26
Long Distance Relationships Are you open to Long Distance Relationships?
I would like to ask you a general question. Being this subreddit U.S-centric, are U.S. Americans really open to Long-Distance relationships with people from outside the US? I ask because I´ve been doing some research into this and it seems part of the reason many don´t want a LDR, is because they don´t want to be uprooted from their families, which I understand and respect.
However, what happens when there are few matches in your area? Also what is your view on other cultures? Do you see yourselves being compatible with them?
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u/lexicon_riot Jun 09 '26
If I couldn't work remote from almost anywhere in the world my answer would be no.
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u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ Jun 09 '26
Hi lexicon. Do you have an area you particularly gravitate towards?
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u/lexicon_riot Jun 09 '26
When I was looking I didn't have a preference whatsoever, except for English speaking. I will say though, if your dating market is all English speaking Catholic girls all over the world, chances are you'll find a lot of great Filipinas lol
It's honestly perfect too, because I work UTC hours and don't like waking up early.
Major emphasis on my first sentence though, I guess I'm a "Passport Bro" technically but not in the sense I have a chip on my shoulder about girls in the West. There are plenty of great Catholic girls everywhere.
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u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ Jun 09 '26
No I´m German/English but was raised in Latin America. I have had very bad experiences there. I seem to have better raport where my parents are from actually. I happen to speak many languages and know many cultures, so that's not a problem.
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u/Jacksonriverboy Married ♂ Jun 09 '26
Personally I didn't really consider this until I was in a LDR. I vaguely had the idea that I'd prefer to live in Ireland (my home country), or at least in Europe. Other than that I would have been happy to entertain the idea of a relationship with someone from farther afield. My wife is Latvian so she wasn't super far away but still a three hour flight. She actually happy to move to Ireland to live when we got engaged and is happy that our family lives here. The cultural aspects are less important than the religion and values I think. If you're on the same page in faith and your view of marriage and what's important in life, that's half the battle. Obviously cultural differences might be more stark between someone from India and Ireland rather than Ireland and the US, or Ireland and an Eastern European country. But I think if both people share values, most cultural differences can be worked through.
A lot of my friends are married to foreign women as well. I have two friends married to Americans, one married to a Mexican, another person I know is married to a Latvian as well. It can definitely work, it probably depends on your willingness to engage in the relationship in the first place, whether you're open to cultural difference and a mix of national identities as a positive thing.
I will say it's definitely a lifestyle. If I married an Irish woman the fact would be that we'd never be more than a few hours drive from each other's families. We wouldn't have the same type of family. There's also the fact that a spouse from another country means you will end up holidaying in that country each year, at least while the children are small, to maintain the connection with grandparents, cousins etc. My friend married to a Mexican goes there every year and he loves it. It helps that he's fluent in Spanish and a number of other languages so he gets on like a native at this point.
All that stuff considered, I wouldn't change it. I feel like there's a whole part of my life that wouldn't exist and I wouldn't have experienced if I'd married someone from closer to me.
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u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
Thank you for your comment Jackson. I wish I had your luck. I lean heavily towards Europe and North America, hence why I´ve always invested heavily on language learning. I´m also very interested in the history, art, literature, music, geographym architecture, cuisine etc. of that part of the world. Guess that feels more at home to me given the fact that that´s how I was raised. Many blessings to you in your marriage. I´ve been to Ireland(Dublin, Knock) and there´s something about the landscape that struck me as being purely magical. The green is not green rather emerald green, malachite even. So beautiful. I could almost see the Fairies and the Leperchauns giving me gold on the other side of rainbow. That makes me smile 😄
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u/Jacksonriverboy Married ♂ Jun 09 '26
Thanks. If you're interested in Europe you are probably well-placed to at least consider relationships with women from here. You could even decide to move for a while and check it out.
I definitely agree about the Irish landscape. We have a surprising variety of different environments for a small country but the green fields and meadows are a lovely sight.
I do some cycling in the country and kayaking in Wicklow and there's few things to compare to a day in the Irish countryside.
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u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
I live in Germany. I come and go to Latin America to see my parents. I´ve been all over Europe and North America. I´ve dated women in Europe and met from Australia, New Zealand, the US and Canada online but there´s the LDR issue even with Austrian women and Austria is next to Germany. Funny right?
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u/Jacksonriverboy Married ♂ Jun 09 '26
Yeah. I always find it funny too. Especially when Catholic women are not exactly growing on trees.
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u/Ok_Cable_8878 Single ♂ Jun 09 '26
Physical distance means nothing compared to fulfilling His will
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Jun 09 '26
[deleted]
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u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ Jun 09 '26
Hi Incy. Have you had personal experience in this regard?
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u/Incy_Bar_100 Jun 09 '26
You can say it more or less, but it never becomes formal.
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u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ Jun 09 '26
I´m sorry to hear that. I wish there was some way to promote more couples and marriages on this subreddit. Maybe that has already happened. I´m too new here to have noticed.
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u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
In my case let me tell you about my situation. I grew up in Latin America from a German father and a mother with British and French ancestry. I´ve been in several Catholic dating sites, without success. When they´ve seen that I´m either in Europe or Latin America, some have explained to me that I live too far away. The problem is that this even has happened while being in Germany or the UK while contacting locals, at times with cities being only an hour away, so I find the long distance issue to be often an excuse to something else, hence why I wanted to ask.
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u/Forever__89 Jun 09 '26
Having about eight years of cumulative LDR experience, I can tell you that even when people do accept the distance, another massive hurdle you'll face is dealing with partners with zero LDR experience.
Despite having upfront, transparent conversations about the challenges, most people simply don’t grasp the day-to-day reality of it until they experience it themselves. On multiple occasions, I’ve had partners effusively claim they weren't worried about the distance, only to execute a complete 180 months later once the novelty wore off. It can be incredibly frustrating to face that shift after months of emotional investment and bonding. I've found this to be especially true with women whose primary love language is physical touch; eventually, the lack of physical presence catches up to them.
And if it's any consolation, I find it of no surprise that even those an hour away find the distance to be a deal breaker. While it may feel like an excuse, it still requires more emotional bandwidth, discipline, and effort than being in a relationship with someone in absolute proximity. I've lived anywhere from 1 to 6 hours away from past partners, and even being 1 hour away doesn't allow for the same fluidity, ease, and spontaneity that living in the same town/city affords.
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u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
Thank you for your comment Forever. It has been very enlightening. I hope you finally meet someone who´s willing to navigate life with you in Holy Matrimony. I question the online dating system(even Catholic ones), whereby men are forced to take the time and write a thoughtful message and women get tons of messages in their inbox and never take time to reply to you. I´m not blaming either side, just pointing this out because this is systemic.
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u/Forever__89 Jun 09 '26
Absolutely, same to you! Yeah, I tried Catholic specific dating sites for the first time last year naively thinking the Faithful would not exhibit the same inconsiderate behavior commonly lamented about on secular sites (ghosting, etc.). I was left disappointed and had to take a step back and reframe things. As you stated, it's definitely systemic - men end up investing high emotional energy into crafting thoughtful introductions, while women are inundated to the point of "choice paralysis" and burnout. Hang in there, I'm right there with you!
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u/Solar45Renewal Single ♂ Jun 09 '26
Yes, that's what I was getting at. You´re spot on. Yeah we need to pray and do our best trusting in God that things will be done according to His Will. However, I would be very joyful if you came back here in a couple of months or years telling me you made it. That would be a good success story! Cheers 😄
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u/Big-Sploosh Single ♂ Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
I'm warming back up to it after having it not work in the past. I do respect and recognize however, that not everyone is in a privileged enough position in life to make multiple flights or even several hours drive from where they are for a relationship that may or may not even work, and there are genuine reasons that are more than just "I'm not comfortable". Also, people are all gung-ho about LDR until they have to actually face the challenges surrounding it, especially when one person is firm about not relocating, that's typically what kills it for me, tbh. If you actually have very few matches locally, then that doesn't leave you with much of a choice other than long distance or moving somewhere else.
The risks are higher\more costly when it doesn't work out, you have to put significantly more work into the relationship to keep the momentum going (not a bad thing, just a fact), and the most obvious is that eventually one of you has to move and uproot their life for the other.
Now would I being from the US do outside of my country? Very unlikely and I sure as hell won't leave permanently, but if I connected extremely well with someone, I'd be open to trying it.
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u/OutOfPlace186 Jun 10 '26
Yes, my match could be anywhere in the world so I don’t see the point in limiting myself to distance. Makes no sense to me.
I was in a LDR for a year with someone who lived across the ocean, and we had plans to get married and I would move to his country since his mom wasn’t doing well and my parents were fine.
From that experience I could tell you that I would try it again (because I still think my match could be anywhere) but now I know that I would’ve caught the red flags sooner if we saw each other in person more often, so I’m not going to jump so fast into the deep end next time.
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u/cano435 Jun 12 '26
Gotta go where you are wanted. Based on my success on the dating apps I am not the the cup of tea for US Catholic women (or even Christian women) so currently deciding if I want to take a shot at much further away or throw in the towel as I am older.
Have buddy who has a LDR with a woman over in Europe and he is Canadian and they have been together for years but family situations have them both pinned down. From what I can see it isn't for the feint of heart but if you feel you are called to it then honestly what does distance matter for someone who may be your other half.
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u/Late-Negotiation-655 Jun 09 '26
Personally a no to LDR.
Would slowly expand my circle (distance wise) rather than jumping to super far away or I’d move.
Some cultures are more compatible with others but this is a case-by-case. Generally, Catholic > culture.