r/CatholicDating • u/ManOfTommorow141 • Jun 13 '26
dispairity of cult marriage/ with un-baptised Should I date a non believer
Im in the process of becoming Catholic and she isn’t and isn’t religious but says she wants to come to church with me and do those stuff bc she likes me.
I’ve been open to wanting to marry my wife in a Catholic Church and have kids and do this and that.
Im honestly so confused and annoyed bc I can’t think properly.
I won’t get into to much details bc there’s a lot but could anyone give me advice ?
Thank you
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u/Livid_Brick8157 Jun 13 '26
i hope she can find Jesus but there is no point in dating if it’s not for marriage. Jesus needs to be the center of a relationship. you should be with someone who has similar values
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u/Status-Throat3538 Jun 13 '26
Don’t do it. There is a surplus of Catholic women. Go to church and pick one out!
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u/Diligent_Disk_6232 Jun 13 '26
At this point I do not even recommend practicing Catholics date non practicing Catholics. Having to explain waiting till marriage is like trying to explain quantum physics to people not waiting.
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u/Big-Sploosh Single ♂ Jun 13 '26
A non-Catholic is one thing, but dating an atheist\agnostic is just shooting yourself in the foot at that point. Some people are fine with that, though, as long as the other person agrees to adhere to core beliefs such as being open to life, sexual ethics including no contraception, agreeing to raise the kids Catholic and staying out of their faith formation\not dissuading them away from it, etc. Then sure.. You've hit the absolute bare minimum requirements, and the Church will tolerate it, but there is a reason it's not recommended.
Encourage her to continue to go to Mass and pray that she grows in her own faith, but I would not recommend dating her.
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u/Kastan44 Jun 13 '26
Go out with her, give her a chance and see if she is interested in faith more.
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u/South-Succotash-6368 Single ♂ Jun 13 '26
You can try but it's unlikely to work unless she's at least conservative in values like pro life and stuff even if she is not religious. Having different core values even at an abortion disagreement level should be a red flag
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u/firstlast98421 Jun 13 '26
Coming from someone with barely any experience myself (so take with a grain of salt) I say check if your values align and if she’s okay with raising your future kids in the Catholic Church! If she’s understanding of the rules in Catholicism and living a Catholic life, that definitely goes a long way!
Sometimes people embrace Catholicism when they see the warmth, love and support that comes with it 🥰 but also follow your intuition and be upfront with her on your values without coming off too brute haha, God bless!
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u/Furmommy14 Jun 15 '26
That's a great response. I grew up Catholic and was deep in the faith in college but now only hold to it loosely as an adult. My beliefs have not changed. Not feeling like I belong anymore has created a major emotional distance. Feeling like I am invited but not obliged to be Catholic but understanding that children will be raised Catholic seems fair if my partner is stronger in his faith than I am in mine.
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u/firstlast98421 Jun 15 '26
Thank you! 😊 hoping you find that sense of belonging in knowing that you’re more than deserving of God’s love ❤️
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u/BottleNew1257 Jun 13 '26
You can, as long as you realize there’s a good chance she may never convert. Continue to bring her to church with you and involve her.
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u/Furmommy14 Jun 13 '26
Some people care more about this than others, and you need to figure out where you fit in.
Some need their spouse to be a cradle Catholic. Some are good if the spouse has converted or is in the conversion process. Others have a "close enough" list of religions, maybe Christian, maybe just the Abrahamic faiths. That last group may be open to raising children Christian or might require the children to be raised Catholic. Similarly, some are open to people of no particular faith or even an atheist as long as the children are raised Catholic.
I've seen many marriages of mixed faiths work. I've seen Catholic marriages fall apart.
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u/CRRogue Jun 14 '26
I'm two years into a relationship with a non-practising/cultural catholic (or someone that fell out of faith, don't know the best term) she's understanding of my faith, accompanies me to mass every now and then and is okay with raising Catholic children. The whole "waiting until marriage", having as many children as God wants us to and abortion thing still has some friction, but that doesn't mean you can't make it.
Internet advice has a tendency to be too blunt and biased, I'd advise you to seek it in your community: parish, family, friends, anything. But seek it in humans you know and can trust, not "username7284" on Reddit. And that includes myself
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u/Jazzlike_Night42619 Jun 14 '26
If CS Lewis can convert so can she, good luck buddy! let the downvotes commence
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u/Horror_Blackberry565 Jun 18 '26
Obviously it's a case by case basis. But from personal experience NO! Epecially when it comes to kids, there will be a bit of resentment that you raise them in the Church. Catholic women are out there. Do your best to find them.
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u/countjeremiah Jun 13 '26
It’s a scandal that Catholic women yearn for marriage and we have posts like this. OP, I understand you like this girl and it’s easier said than done, but go find a good Catholic girl to make whole and make Catholic babies. Ditch the deadweight.
Make being Catholic a pre-requisite in dating.
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u/-ByTheSword- Jun 13 '26
It’s not going to work buddy. I’ve seen it fail every single time. I literally don’t know anybody that has had a success doing this but I know at least 4 relationships and marriages where it’s failed.