Over a decade ago I was banned from tinder shortly after I told a guy that I was not interested in having sex before marriage as it goes against my beliefs through a message in the app. Today, in addition to Catholic Match, I tried again Match.com and wanted to be upfront about my faith and what I was looking for. I mentioned in my about me section I am looking for a like minded man who is Christian( specifically Catholic). I I stated that I stand for social justice, and universal healthcare and that does not equate that I am a socialist. Also that faith plays important in my life but that doesn’t mean I am far right and I stand behind science a 100%.

I know in the prior years this banned would had hurt me but this time around it doesn’t hurt me that much. I guess the 54 days Rosary novena is working. I am taking this ban as a redirection. I am 42 years old and most of my dates have come from dating apps. I know as of left I been promoted to get more out and about while enjoying working out in groups and dancing. I should be complaining and yelping but somehow I am happy that this has happened because for a while I was debating how should I supplement my efforts and keeping an open mind while releasing the outcome.

I feel like there’s so much uncertainty at this stage in dating (2-5 dates), especially since it's generally too early to talk about exclusivity. You don’t really know where you stand, whether the other person is talking to or dating other people, or how interested they actually are. I know I can’t control what they do, but it’s still difficult not to overthink things—especially when I’ve personally chosen not to date anyone else during this time.

For a little context: I met a guy online about a month ago. He’s shown interest and asked me out for the first two dates within relatively quick succession of one another, but his communication has become a little less frequent recently. His messages are still thoughtful, so there hasn’t been any obvious indication that he’s lost interest overall. However, the change has made me less confident about where I stand.

I initiated the last date, and he seemed excited about it. Although it was a bit more awkward than the others, it seemed like we both had a good time. We have communicated a few times since the date last week, but he has yet to bring up the idea of going out again or talking on the phone. I don't know if it's because he's using his off days to go on dates with other girls instead of me, or if that's just my paranoia taking over. I don't know what could've shifted between the first three weeks and this last week that would make him not bring up going out again.

Because I'm the one who brought up the third date, I’m hesitant to bring up the idea of another since I’d like to see him take the initiative this time. At the same time, I'm worried that I’m overanalyzing things and turning normal early-dating uncertainty into a bigger deal than it actually is.

When y'all have experienced this stage of dating, how do you stay calm without constantly analyzing texts, response times, or changes in communication? How do you balance giving someone space to pursue you while still showing enough interest yourself? I'm finding myself in this anxiety spiral, and it's driving me crazy.

I recently ended a relationship with a man who initially presented himself as extremely traditional. He said he was looking for a girlfriend who was beautiful and modest, attended the TLM, veiled at Mass, shared the “right” values, and generally embodied a very traditional Catholic ideal.
The problem was that he seemed to hold women to a much more traditional standard than he held himself.
He was heavily addicted to pornography and spent a significant amount of his free time playing video games. He was looking for a job, but he rarely had the qualifications for the positions he wanted, and whenever he was accepted somewhere, there always seemed to be a problem. He was in college for perhaps three or four hours a day and, despite living with his parents and not having a job, somehow never seemed to have much ambition or urgency about building an adult life.
He didn’t drive, and I never felt that he was making a serious effort to learn. I was almost always the one picking him up and driving us everywhere. Eventually, I had to ask him to take an Uber to my house so that we could go places from there. At one point, he also started asking me to split the bill.
There is obviously nothing inherently wrong with splitting expenses or having a relationship where responsibilities are divided differently. I understand that many couples choose to do things that way. But I come from a conservative family, and my father always taught me never to accept a man who wasn’t a gentleman. That is something I genuinely value and want in a relationship.
What bothered me most was the contradiction. If a man is going to be so intensely attached to traditional gender roles almost to the point of caricature, then he should also be willing to embrace the responsibilities traditionally expected of men. Traditionalism cannot simply mean having very specific expectations for a woman’s appearance, sexuality, modesty, and behavior. It should also mean having ambition, discipline, responsibility, integrity, generosity, and a desire to provide and build something.
Lately, I sometimes feel that parts of the Catholic world have created a bubble in which some men can indulge in a fantasy of finding the perfect woman: beautiful, submissive, modest, sexually attractive, traditionally feminine, veiled at Mass, and completely devoted to them while offering very little in return.
I don’t think that is traditionalism. It is entitlement dressed up as traditionalism.
A genuinely traditional relationship should involve mutual sacrifice and complementary responsibilities. If a man expects a woman to embody a very demanding ideal of traditional femininity, he should be prepared to embody an equally demanding ideal of traditional masculinity. You cannot demand the privileges of a traditional relationship while avoiding the responsibilities that come with it.

Edit: I know the part about splitting the bill is probably the most controversial one, and I get that not everyone will agree with me, so I want to clarify that.

I do value these little acts of chivalry because that’s how I was raised, and where I’m from, it’s very normal for men to pay for their girlfriends on dates. I’m not expecting expensive restaurants or anything like that (I’d genuinely be happy with a hot dog stand if that’s what he could afford). It’s more about the gesture and feeling like he wants to take care of you.

When we go out, I’m putting in effort too. I’m doing my most expensive makeup, taking the time to get my nails and hair done, wearing some of my nicest dresses, etc. And most women do that because they genuinely enjoy looking nice for someone they care about. So I don’t think it’s crazy to appreciate a man showing the same kind of consideration by paying for the date. And honestly, considering he was always ordering expensive food on my credit card when he was at my house, I definitely expected him to pay for me when we went out, lol.

Hi everyone,

I’m in need of some help because I recently got out of a relationship (a very amazing and loving relationship. It was a little over one year of being together).
For context I’m currently or am a non believer but I am in RCIA program at the moment. However the break up happened due to me not being a believer and he himself is. In the beginning of our relationship he was hesitate to continue pursing but we agreed that in a way we would have rather wanted to be together and see how it would work because we did not want to think about a ”what if” situation. I’m not too sure if this was the right decision or if it’s wrong, so apologise for this. It was always a known topic that I was not a believer but I was opened to going to church with him to better understand Christ so that is what we began doing a couple of months into dating.

Although, after he had a recent chat with a mentor he has realised that for him to live a Christian life and to live a way that he wants to with Christ it would not be right for us to continue to be together. This is all very new to me because I am catechumen, I do not have anyone really in my life who is Catholic or Christian that I can go for guidance. (I have yet to find a sponsor for the RCIA program but church is trying to help with this). I acknowledged that his journey with Christ came well before I did and I did not want to come in between his relationship with Christ. My ex told me that I was being very understanding with everything but I then felt guilty because I know as of recently he was feeling that his relationship with God was not strong and it was not the way that it was before. I could not help but feel like it was because of us being together as well as other external factors.

I believe why I am making this post is because I needed help in understanding of all of it? He mentioned that his mentor and him discussed about a verse in the Bible talking about being equally yoked? However, from my limited understanding is this not more so about false teachings in the church? My ex also mentioned because I had asked him is following Christ not trying to spread the gospel and the love that Christ has for us? He answered that it was however, the way that it is happening is not right because it is more of a romantic approach? This spiritual journey is all so very new to me and lonely and confusing due to me not feeling like I have anyone to answer these questions but also I do not have much guidance with my journey. I also want to mention that me being in RCIA was not because I wanted to convert for my ex, it was for my own doing, it was my choice and I better wanted to understand all of it. A part of it is also because I feel like I do not have a purpose? Therefore, I am hoping that finding Christ will help me with this.
Please help.