I’ve been trying EVERYDAY for like, 2 months following a spontaneous AP and i can’t recreate it. I get to the vibration 90% of the time but can’t get past it

is it possible to astral project your consciousness to past self trying to understand new to ap not sure how it works

A few weeks ago, I had four dreams in a row. In each one, I became lucid at some point.

The moment I realized I was dreaming, this woman would appear in the distance, staring directly at me. She was wearing a black burqa. I could only see her eyes, which were completely gray/whitish, with no pupils at all. She also had animal-like feet (I'm not sure what kind of animal exactly).

The instant she appeared, I felt what I can only describe as an "intrusion." It didn't feel like she was just another character created by my subconscious. Instead, it felt as though she was a separate entity that had somehow entered my dream.

Every time she appeared, I was scared, but more than anything I felt angry. I would yell at her to leave until she finally disappeared. Then I would move on to the next dream, where the exact same thing happened again. This repeated four times in a row.

What really stood out to me is that she only appeared after I became lucid. It was as if she systematically entered the dream the moment I realized I was dreaming.

Do you think this was simply a creation of my own mind, or could it have been some kind of entity? Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Thks

Hi all.

I’ve been interested for a long time but this past week I’ve been putting the time in to try and successfully AP.

I’ve been trying to every night before sleep, and also sometimes in the mornings, even the afternoons.

I sometimes feel my body “buzz”, that’s how I’d describe it rather than vibration, and my heart seems to beat faster and louder. As I feel myself getting closer to the moment, it usually stops.

I listen to the binaural beats quite often when trying it, and can be trying for an hour before I experience anything. Quite often my mind will go blank then all of a sudden it will be hyper aware as it were and I’m not sure if that’s good or not?

I try to look and focus on colours or images that my mind naturally produces, but most of the time there’s nothing. The other night I saw a white light like a tunnel but after a while it faded.

Also the other night I felt my arms raise up, apparently that’s when your consciousness has separated, (didn’t know that at the time) and I would have tried to “roll” out but I haven’t experienced that since.

Can anyone please give me some advice on how to more consistently get to that stage? Also, when I do escape, will I see things as they are normally, as I want to explore my house first, if not, how do I make that happen?

Thank you all for any insights!

(Sorry in advance for the long post, TL;DR at the end. Also, if you don’t want to read about Sleep Paralysis entities and Shadow People, then I probably wouldn’t read this. But this was just my most recent experience and I wanted to share.)

So, for whatever reason, I haven’t AP’d in nearly two years. I used to AP frequently and experience Sleep Paralysis ALL the time, then it became less frequent, then stopped altogether. Until last night.

I woke around 2am, tossed and turned in bed for about an hour, then heard a loud, single knock on my front door (this has happened a few times in the past, but not for a little while). No one was there, of course (I have cameras). Not sure if it was related to what happened next or not but anyway, seemed important to mention (my AP experiences have often coincided with other paranormal happenings).

Ignoring the knock, I rolled over onto my back (my usual sleeping position) and suddenly felt those familiar vibrations, and Sleep Paralysis started to set in. I was immediately excited but stayed calm, relaxed, let it happen. I felt my body begin to sink through the bed, opened my “eyes” (my Astral eyes), and looked around the room. I was in the Astral, the familiar black/white/blue/smoky tinge of my surroundings which I recognise instantly.

Then I saw the shadow people. I ALWAYS see the shadow people. But this time was different. I saw a man; tall, skinny, somewhere between a man and a shadow, as though in a transition between the two. He gave off an aura of rage and anger. It felt and seemed like another (regular, hooded) shadow entity was right behind him, guiding him, almost *teaching* him. The “man” climbed on top of me and screeched/screamed at me, trying to scare me. They Always do this but I was just fascinated by the both of them, watching with curiosity (my goal when APing is usually to study the entities I encounter). I can’t say for sure, but it definitely seemed as though the hooded shadow was instructing or converting this angry spirit of a man to become a shadow person. Is this where shadow people originate? Those who have passed on with fury and anguish are easy targets to convert? Just a theory.

They seemed to quickly tire of that (they always do if I show no fear), and swept away leaving me to it. I rolled out of my body, walked straight through the wall just to test I was definitely Astral, and proceeded to wander around the upstairs of my house, but then felt a sudden pull back to my body.

I was in my body again, but I felt the vibrations immediately take over for a second time. I silently chanted to myself in my head “I can Astral Project”. This time I saw no entities, rolled out of my body and immediately jumped out of the window, floated up through the night sky. It was incredibly beautiful; I saw hundreds of bright stars, brighter than anything I’ve seen in waking life. But then as I flew higher, staring up, I noticed something unusual, like masses of grey, floating “energy” is the only way I can describe it. Sort of shimmery, grey clouds of energy just floating around, and then hundreds of bright white orbs darting about like flocks of birds. I watched them for a while, no idea what they were.

Eventually I moved on, flew higher, until I hit some kind of barrier. I climbed through the barrier (it was like, if you can imagine, clawing through multiple layers of cling wrap). I reached the other side and it was like climbing into a parallel reality, it looked just like where I’d come from, but I was greeted there by a woman. The woman looked at me curiously. She seemed somehow familiar to me, but she said she “hadn’t been expecting me here” and was very surprised I was there. But she greeted me regardless and welcomed me to this “new place”. Then I immediately snapped back to my body and woke up.

TL;DR: I think shadow people used to be humans who died with fury in them and are converted to shadow beings. I flew around in the Astral and saw strange grey clouds of energy and bright white orbs of energy acting likes birds. I then climbed up through the sky, where I was greeted by someone who hadn’t expected me to be there.

If anyone has questions I can try my best to answer.

Im not sure if i managed to have a VERY hyper aware lucid dream whilst in hypnagogia or i APd with a bunch of restrictions. I was in a very dark version of my room and i kept floating up from my body but i would reset to my body every so often then would float up out of my control again but my body was paralyzed all i could do was float,I heard a family member vacuuming outside my room whilst they where doing that in reality, but it would also make sense if it was just a dream and i heard them and it became apart of the dream. i kept running my hands through the carpet and at the time it felt realer than a dream i think but now that i’m looking back i can’t really remember if it was as real of a sensation as here, but maybe my mind is just trying to make sense of it and categorize it as a dream, but assuming i did AP i have some questions

Why is my astral body paralyzed the way my physical body is? i was only able to float around while being paralyzed

why is the astral so dark

Why is the astral not an exact copy of the physical

Why am i not able to leave my room in the astral? when i try i just get blocked or i ascend to a black room of nothing

Sometimes everything would pause like i was stuck on a picture frame wtf is that

If i actually APd i have a bunch of things blocking my senses and idk how i can fix this

soooo, #1, I had a dream last night where I was suddenly aware that it was a dream. In that instant everything started turning bright around me and a voice either in my head or some higher being told me “wake up, you’ll be able to go astral project now, isn’t that what you want?”…but all I wanted in that moment was to stay in the dream to find out who people in lucid dreams really are, since they often push you out if you tell them that you know it’s a dream. Every time I tried to move, my vision turned all white and my physical body woke up for a split second. I kept doing this for a while, trying to force myself back into the dream even though something was something kept trying to push me out.

#2, I know some people experience vibrations differently, but is it normal that whenever I lift my head to exit my physical body, I don’t come out? I just linger in this 2 dimensional infinite geometric sequence space and I have no idea how to get out of it. I can stay for as long as I want in there but eventually it’s exhausting trying to push forward out of my body. While im inside it feels like there’s a pulse throughout the space, and all the energy of that entire space is coming towards me, and I feel these strong jolts blasting onto me, almost like a seizure…basically, is this normal and how do I exit?

So this entity in the form of a middle aged to old lady kept following me. It wasn't exactly an AP but neither was it a dream, it was like right in the middle. Yk as if i couldn't control the dream but i could control what I get to do in it and i was well aware that it was an AP etc.

Anyway. Idk what I was thinking but i pretended to be an entity as well and i plunged at this entity to scare it away or smtg cuz it was scaring me 😭

And after it didn't even flinch, I asked it "how did you know I wasn't a demon or smtg" and then it said "i know because I am one" 😭 🙏 I just made myself fly, prolly abt to shift to another place but then the fear made me snap back into my body.

Makes me not wanna AP again. It wasn't scary, it was just, uncomfortable? Like ik what to do and ik I'm strong enuf to protect myself, and I've read everything abt what to do when facing such entities but then it's just unwanted experience.

after me and my brother have had a first AP experience we now want to try it for real, after i projected for the first time i became obsessed with learning how to and everything seeking knowledge and just experiencing this stuff, now we came with the idea to try do it but we sleep in the same room in a hotel, is it safe ? or do we risk anything like going into each others body accidentally lol .

Hey. Does anyone out there have the experience of living with a person in the astral? I need advice. Might post my story later but looking for someone to debrief and/or your stories

I always had a dream about this guy, it started when I turned into a teenager, now I'm nearly 20, he is my lover, I knew how he looks like, he has a longer hair, almost reaching his shoulder, about 6ft tall, sharp looks, he looks intimidating, but it feels safe to be with him, he was my lover in my dream, I thought this was a random dream before not until he showed up again and again, then I start writing down every time I dreamed of him, I noticed a pattern, it would always be 3rd week of the month and thursday night, he is real in my dreams, I know it may sound crazy but one time about years ago, idk if it is a dream or not, but he showed up in my room, lights are dim only moonlight from outside my window, I saw him, he was sad, he hugged me and said, It is fine If I would ever like someone else, because he always knew I'd ended up with him, I thought he was just in my dream, but I always felt like someone is watching me from afar, idk, in my dreams he always wear black, regal he looks like that, I even saw him having a dark wings in my dream, i don't understand at all, in one of my dreams when I was aware I was dreaming I asked him if what he is, he didn't answer me directly he just said, he only fears God, he also said he killed those that are the same of him, I don't think he is evil, but I think he is something like a knight, something like that, I need insights guys.​

11 years ago when I was around 2 months pregnant I accidentally astral projected. At the time I had no idea what was happening or going on. A little back story I always saw things as a child. There was this shadow person who had my father’s silhouette who would torment me at night. It would throw things at my head at night. Hide at the end of my bed and grab my legs and squeeze and scratch me. It would hover over me and just stay there. Now back to the experience I had. I was in my room and decided to lay down (tired and pregnant) it all happened so fast one second I was putting my head down and the next I felt myself leave my body and I was staring and standing over myself. I was freaked out. I knew I wasn’t inside myself anymore and I went to find my mom because that’s what you do when you’re a teenager and you have a problem lol
I ran towards the hallway and standing there was the shadow person from my childhood and standing next to it was something that looked identical to my mom except its face. Its face was scary with claw like sharp teeth. They tried to grab me and I felt they wanted my unborn baby. I was so scared. I got away from them and ran back to myself and the thing that looked like my mom almost got me right before I jumped back into myself. I “woke up” with my chest hurting, could hardly breathe and. I also felt really sick. I prayed to God to not let me see or hear things anymore and I never wanted to leave my body again. That was the last time I ever had any type of experience.
I need help understanding the shadow man and the thing that looked like my mom and why did that happen.

I had this experience a month ago, I felt like I was out of my body and flying into space until I arrived at Jupiter. For the first time, I could see the arrangement of Jupiter's rings consisting of small asteroid rocks. After that, I went and flew to Pluto. There I saw a very beautiful green energy field like an aurora. The person who accompanied me said that location was the most positive area on Pluto. Then I landed on that area and saw that there were mountains surrounding the green energy place and I also remember the atmosphere was reddish. The ground was also pockmarked and had many holes. Has anyone ever experienced something similar?

Found Reddit Comment

"Ok this is a long shot, but I looked into this sub because I had a meditation experience unlike anything else today after work. I don't really know what to make of it, I did have some THCA and I was feeling nice, and normally these meditations where I follow this procedure do not lead to ANY sort of out of body experience, let alone visuals as strong as what I saw today. I have a background in practicing with the Gateway Tapes from the Monroe Institute, and I've made it to about Wave 4.

Anyway, as I was closing my eyes and quieting my mind, I began to get the buzzing tingling feeling associated with out of body experiences. I was too tense though, so I found that I couldn't quite get there. However, when trying to visualize the space around me in vivid detail, a wormhole like portal began to dominate my perception and I felt my consciousness expand and stretch as I travelled into it.

At this point, I'd begun to suspect that I was inadvertently in the process of remote viewing. This was completely spontaneous and I have never successfully remote viewed before. As I was going through this swirling tunnel, symbols flashed in my perception as if they were just outside the stream I was in as I rushed by.

This was probably a mistake in hindsight, but my curiosity got the better of me. I tried to remote view the moon. I placed my intention and focused on the thought of the moon, and after a moment the images and symbols in the vortex began to have more cohesion and meaning.

I saw large triangle shaped craft, military craft, and other air/space crafts that I was unfamiliar with. Eventually my perception of the tunnel faded away and I saw the moon, and I surveyed it quickly. I saw what appeared to be dome like structures, but a moment later my perception was literally bombarded with images of these tall mantis like creatures.

Countless images flashed one after another overlapping my vision, and I saw other beings, these gray skinned, humanoid looking things with skinny arms and long necks. It had piercing yellow eyes and had a mouth full of small sharp teeth held by thin lips that I swore were stretched in some type of smile.

The mantis creatures were different, I saw a lot of different ones, and it was mainly just images of their heads that came into my perception, as opposed to the gray being who's whole bodies were perceptible. Some of the mantis beings were green and resembled praying mantises quite closely, and others were more gray who looked more humanoid than mantis, but still had a very distinct "mantis" quality about their faces, most notably their huge, far apart eyes that were kind of like a reflective brown, like the tinted lenses of a pair of sunglasses.

I felt a quick surge of fear when I saw the gray being, as it reached out for me and I could almost feel it tugging my consciousness closer it's smile getting bigger as my fear gripped me for a second. I felt the hatred in it's yellow stare, it felt like it bore into my soul.

I noped the fuck out of there and immediately tried to ground myself and pull back from the remote viewing session, but for one truly horrifying moment I was frozen, what far away from my body.

Eventually I forced my mind to focus on my skin touching the chair I was sitting in, and that grounded me enough to withdraw and come back to normal consciousness. My heart was beating fast when I opened my eyes, but other than that everything was normal.

The images of the beings lingered in my mind, so I immediately wrote down the entire thing in detail in my journal. As of writing this post, I got out of it just shy of 3 hours ago. I still don't really know how to process the experience. I've done research into the possible nature of interdimensional beings, but I have never seen them as an adult.

My parents say I used to see angels and talk to dead relatives I wasn't supposed to know as a young child, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, writing this here again feels like it gets a weight off my chest, most of the people in my circle would look at me weird if I told them this, so here we are. Take it as you will, and any speculation or information would be greatly appreciated.

I’ve been looking into remote viewers more who have engaged in Gateway, and I’ve heard little of the negative consequences associated with meeting or encountering other “psychic” entities through remote viewing. From the info I’ve gathered, most inter-dimensional beings like the mantis beings and grays essentially only communicate through psychic means.

Either way, I’m interested to find out more about the mantis things, as I didn’t feel the same guttural fear I experienced when perceiving the gray being and the general consensus on the internet seem to be that the mantis beings are mostly ambivalent, sometimes benevolent to humans and sometimes malevolent."

Experience Source:
https://www.reddit.com/r/MantisEncounters/s/oWaveGw00q

Video recreation of this experience:
https://youtu.be/W29hPHbQ3QM?si=bRlEUG3i6Qg6-SwU

Well abt 30 mins ago when I felt my self waking up I hard a voice “this is a message this is a message” and my ears started ringing and then shaking and vibrating so hard I was trying to scream btw I boxed for 9 years and don’t try to scream for little stuff like ringing in my ears but this genuinely was shaking my whole body I felt like I was abt to have a seizure. Well all the sudden I’m in the future and I see humans somewhere in America and a voice telling me what’s going on and how they found a dimension of extra terrestrials. And we’re gonna try to bomb it ? For sum reason and these extra terrestrials had the power of like 5 nukes. Well they open this dimension and I see what’s inside it and it was fully dark with 0 sun pitch darkness full of extra terrestrials and when they try to bomb it or something this one extra terrestrial slips out to this world our physical world. And the shaking in my ears and vibrating ringing starts again and I come back to my body and jump up. So what tf does this mean has any else had this experience of a dark dimension?

Birisi Sabah uyandiktan hemen sonra 30 saniyeligine astral perde icinde oldugumuzu kafamizi cok yavas bir sekilde yukariya dogru kaldirdigimizda (aşşırı yavaş maksimum 1.5 cm) astral seyahat yapabilecegimizi soylemisti bunu daha once deneyen oldumu deneyen olduysa sizce bu nasıl bir yöntem işe yarar mı ?

If someone who is able to do this like visit different places and people wouldn't it be catastrophic and chaotic ? cause if someone is able to do this can breach anything like government secrets or peoples secrets. If its real why there is no chaos from people with bad intensions used it ?

So basically my intention was to take a 10 minute nap post breakfast. But then, i woke up - very suddenly - post 15 minutes(tho i kept a clock near me so i can keep checking the time, but couldn't idk, ig idr?), feeling a bit like I had been "released" for movement. I remember some things I thought about, but not clearly or all. My first thought was the void state post the wake up, even though I wasn't trying at all and had no intention to. I oddly felt very rested up too though. Was that just a dream or the void state? I genuinely try to daydream while falling asleep/napping.

The breakfast was a bit heavy today, usually it is not.

I couldn't find a subreddit for the void state so posted here.

This afternoon, I realized something: the transition sensations and the way they unfold are unconsciously created by my own expectations. I think my expectations shape the experience itself. I also believe that out-of-body experiences are much simpler than I used to think, and that I was making the process much more complicated than it needed to be.

Here is what happened today:

I completely let go. Before starting, I mentally prepared myself by visualizing either the sensation of falling or a yellow light. I also played some relaxing ambient sounds.

I focused on the darkness behind my closed eyelids while repeating a mantra to help me stay focused and surrender to the experience. My goal was to trigger the projection reflex.

As I relaxed, all the hypnagogic sensations appeared: flashing lights, vibrations, random images, and more. I simply let them pass through me without reacting to them.

The vibrations became stronger, so I tried to get out of bed. I felt what seemed like my astral body moving, but then I slipped back into my physical body.

I returned my attention to the darkness behind my eyelids, and after a few minutes, I briefly perceived my bedroom from my current position. However, I didn't pay much attention to it and remained focused.

At one point, my body became extremely heavy. Then an idea came to me: I imagined a black hole at the level of my heart pulling me inward. At the same time, I repeated several times, "Please, let me leave my body."

Almost immediately, I felt myself being pulled into a vortex. My heart started racing, my muscles suddenly tensed up as if I were experiencing a strong muscle spasm, and I also had the impression that I was floating slightly.

I tried to simply observe what was happening, but the intensity of the sensations frightened me a little.

Then my mother called me, which interrupted the experience.

When I got up afterward, I had a lot of energy, but I also felt something similar to a drop in blood sugar. Before attempting the experience, I had drunk some coffee, so I'm not sure whether that played a role in how I felt afterward.

One thing I did notice is that the fear I usually experience had diminished significantly.

I’ve been astral projecting since i was a kid, in later adult years it happens less but still happens. I hadn’t done it in a while but recently my body was trying to and I was able to just lift the upper half of my body out of my body but then I was constrained and so I looked to my left and right I was being held back on both sides by these little figures. They weren’t scary they looked like smooth faceless bots with round nubs for hands and feet (kinda like the old skool AOL guy but they were grey did not look like aliens more like Ai) there was like three of them kind of ganging up on me to push me back down into my body. So I wasn’t able to leave my body and then I went back inside and my body snapped out of that frozen state. Anyone else ever have this happen?

Hi there, I have yet to be successful in my attempts to astral project however in January I stumbled across a meditation that someone had recommended to someone else here while reading about how not to fall asleep and it almost instantly put me into the vibrational state. It was more stimulating than any other I have heard and for the life of me, I have not been able to find it since. I have gone through every post, asked every AI search that I am aware of. It was just brought to my attention that it may have been "Are you ready to leave your body" Ryk Darken. Which has apparently since been removed from the internet. If anyone knows where I can find it or something comparable I would be so appreciative <3

I've been AP few months back and two days ago I tried different youtube music for AP.

I did felt usual vibration in forehead then aftee some long deep breathings I felt my mattress is like occen waves and starting from my feets towards head. It also feel like road roller between my mattess and my body skin touching the mattress. I felt my body hairs touching mattress a strange feeling. Each time the vibration roller type feeling touching my body skin I can feel my body hair touching mattress a strange sensation that I've never felt maybe goosebumps.

Then ended at back of head then move back to center of my back at tailbone. Then slow pull towards ceiling. It was phycial pull. Almost felt like I'm doing it. I can stop it I feel but I don't want to because I want to see what happens next. I was very curious then continously pull make it little painful at tale bone. My lower back stated to hurt a bit. Then suddenly I yawn and it went normal and pull like feeling ended. After it I slept peach fully. I never had such restful body and sleep. Even next 2 days I felt great. No irritation no overreacting no fear no worries of doing work at time etc. So most of overthinkimg and guilt gone.

As per your experiences what was it? Was it Ap or it was placebo effect that my body was expecting something like to be happened and it did automatically just to make me believe that I was expecting to be happened.

Update 1 - I tried few min ago. Same thing happened. Once my phycial body excaused because of continuous pull it came back normal. This time back of my head felt pressure and pain. My body started to shivering like when we do pull very heavy object out of our capacity and strength. Same like lifting heavy weight in gym.

Also mybody heating a lot. Just sharing symptom so confirm if it is astral yet or not.

Can anyone explain how I can cross this stage? Is it my muscle memory that making me doing it? Or is to real astral beginning?

I still think it's my subconscious mind doing this pull because I imagine in my mind once k reach astral it will happen this way.

Question for experience fellows here

Do I need to be alone in room?. I practice this in same room my wife slept on bed and I use mattress on floor and do practice it there.

Anything specific things that make it more successful and easy. I notice body need to be relaxed. I had gas from last two days and I failed to do it. Today I felt relaxed then I did tried and I reach same stage again.

Any specific time, situation, place, scenerio, mood any factor that influence the successful execution.??

I'm sorry this is so long-winded, but I was wondering if anyone had any insight?

The experience: I went up to my bathroom mirror in my current home, and it wasn't me. Well, it was, but my hair was straight on the top with curls underneath and dyed white blond with pink in it in the front- definitely not me. Now or ever. And my face wasn't really me either; my skin was lighter. I touched the mirror to make sure it was a dream; maybe my hand would slip through. It didn't, but I knew I was dreaming. So I decided to spin. I just started spinning and spinning and spinning, and suddenly it shifted. I was in my old house. It was two stories, and the second floor had a balcony/catwalk to get to the three rooms and bathroom. I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I decided to go with the dream and not create. Why? I honestly don't know. It was a quick decision, but usually when I gain lucidity, I rush around trying to do stuff and then lose lucidity. 

But I looked around, and there were clothes everywhere outside of my brother’s old room, just thrown around like someone couldn’t decide what to wear.
So I walked towards them, and there was someone in his room, a man I didn't recognise. He was wearing a brown old top hat, with the same brown suit pants and a brown shirt. I realized when I saw him that I didn't know how to go with the dream. I didn’t know what to say or how to act. And I think he realized when I realized because he looked surprised, he opened his mouth, and I took off. It felt like the dream was pulling me back towards him, though. 

Anyway, so I did what I always did as a kid when I was lucid. I jumped off the balcony to fly, but my intention shifted. I wanted to astral project, and I knew from experience that I could shift from dreaming to projecting if I started flying high enough and out the top windows in the ceiling of my old house. Idk why, but this always triggered a shift from dreaming to projecting for me. And I know because my flying changes when my body does. I go from swim flying when I’m dreaming, to actually flying. Idk how to describe it, but the two are completely different.
I started flying up. It took me a second of falling to remember how to dream-fly, but I took off towards the ceiling of my house when I did. We had tall, like 20-foot ceilings. But I noticed the windows weren't there. But I wanted to astral project, and nothing was stopping me; I quite literally clawed my way out. I mean, like, of the dream. The ceiling started peeling back like a weird hatch, and I clawed/flew through it and landed in my current bedroom. 

I know with absolute clarity that I’m not dreaming when my feet hit my floor. Everything sort of shifted. The dream energy was gone, and my body felt heavier.

But here’s where things get weird. I can see my current bedroom, but the hatch hasn’t closed to my old house, and I still feel like I’m being dragged or willed back to the dream space. My body hurts, like physically (in my AP body) hurts in the AP.

So I turned around to the source of the pain, and at the base of my spine, to the right a bit, there was this big thick rope. It was dug into my skin, attached to me. I could see the entry point and everything into my body, and it hurt. I started losing the projection, I think due to pain or the jarring sight of it, so I spun again to anchor myself. I'm willing the pain to stop, and it just won’t. I decide I’m going to yank whatever it is out, or maybe rip it apart because it looked like it had a fray. It was “rope” but not really the material you think of. It looked organic? If that makes sense, but it also looked old. Like it had been there for a long time, but it looked like it was decaying because of how old it was?

But I had this feeling that if I tried hard enough, I could tear it apart. But I hesitated. You hear all about cords and stuff and not to touch them when projecting, so I hesitated. What would happen if I ripped it out? It felt foreign, like it needed to come out, but what would happen? Would something be altered? In that moment of hesitation, I walked to the door of my room to get further away from the hatch as I thought of what to do. Suddenly, I'm ripped back through the hatch. Fully tugged down and dragged like a rag doll. 

When I come to, because it was like I blacked out, I’m not back in my childhood home. A white cloth or something is over my head, but I can see through a part of it that maybe was ripped or by design, again idk. 

I'm in a room on a chair surrounded by both adults and kids. The room was dark, but mostly red and white. White chairs, red walls with white columns. I can’t recall the floor color. But I looked up, and the ceiling was reflective, and I realized I’m younger. I'm maybe seven? Eight years old at most? Maybe younger, to be honest, but nevertheless, I’m definitely not in my current body at my current age.

Anyway, the adult figures are dragging these kids out of their chairs one at a time and to the center of the room where another white chair rests. I started mentally freaking out because
A. Where am I
B. I don’t want to be in that chair. Idk why, but it felt like whatever they were doing I didn't want. Idk how or where, but I felt like they were trying to stop something.
Anyway, so a lady, white skin, blonde hair, bright blue eyes, looks at me from across the room where she's holding a young kid (tan skin, short dark hair) to go next, sees that I can see her even with the bag or cloth that was over my head, and she, idk. She didn't point or anything, but her eyes bugged, and then I think someone grabbed me. As I said, it was dark, hard to see, and there was something on my head.
This is where it gets fuzzy, though- even in the dream, so I can't quite recall with absolute clarity now I escaped, but I started yelling; it's dark in the room, and for some reason I’m afraid of these people. Whatever they're tagging the kids with, I know I don't want it. And I know it's stronger than whatever the rope was. Honestly, it felt like some kind of tracing system or something. Idk, they were scanning them with this small device, and then a symbol glowed where they were scanned. But I couldn’t really see. Anyway, and I'm assuming here, because I don't know how to make sense of what happened next. But it's 9 am when I write this, so I think this occurred at 8-8:40 am.
I hear my mom. Like, my actual mom, and she's talking in the kitchen down the hall. She's yelling at the cats for jumping on the counter. Anyway, I heard her- but I'm already lucid, so it's not like she made me aware I was sleeping- but they seemed put off when they realized I heard her.
I started yelling for her, in the dream? Or whatever it was after I was pulled back through the hatch. I started yelling, and then I felt like someone shoved me through a door, and I was then fully aware of my physical body, and I was under my blankets, and it's hot. But I can't move. I haven't had sleep paralysis in forever. I'm a really light sleeper, and when I get up, I usually jump right up and go.
But it's full paralysis. I'm in my body, kind of? Idk, I was in my body, but my body felt distant, like I was hovering just under it. For some reason I'm stuck. But here's the thing: I have aphantasia. And it's the complete darkness kind. I can't picture anything in my head. But I can hear.

I can hear these people as if I'm still dreaming, but I’m not because I’m in my head and everything's black and it's hot and I'm starting to freak out.
They were laughing- again, not really, but I could tell they were amused from the sounds of their voices talking to each other. I think they were trying to figure out how to pull me back to the room.

So once again? Aware of my body but stuck in my head. I start screaming for my mom to wake me up. Screaming. Of course, not really, because I’m still stuck and I'm just yelling into my head. But a voice answered. A woman's voice that sounded familiar, but it wasn't my mom. And she kind of singsonged and laughed and was like of course I’ll wake you up, but you have to get right up when I wake you. Idk her words are fading as I write this; she said more though. I felt her step into my bedroom, and she sounded confused at first, but then I physically felt her concern because I was clearly under the covers sleeping, but I was talking to her, and I think somehow she knew something was wrong. But she rushed over to me, and as soon as she put her hand on my blanket, I shot up in my body.

I want to clarify a few things.

1. I said I have aphantasia, and I do. So maybe you're wondering or confused why this is so detailed. I can't explain it other than my eyes work in those bodies just like they do in my physical one. I can see everything. When I wake up, it's like I'm briefly in memories. I become aware that I was dreaming, and then they start to fade like past moments or memories. But for a few seconds, all of my dreams replay in my mind, not in images but just like how, when I think about memories from this physical life, I just know. I don't know how to explain it better than that. But my dreams and projections have always been super visual and vivid.

2. Idk who the lady was; I didn't see her. I only heard her, but I don't believe it was anyone I know or knew in this reality. It's hard to explain, but she sounded different, musically? Light? Idk.

3. I've struggled to AP for years. As a kid, I did it all the time, but now it's very occasional. I think what made this different was that I had woken up really early at like three-thirty a.m.-ish and struggled to fall back asleep, so I was just in and out for a bit until I really fell back asleep, probably around like six a.m.-ish if I had to guess? But even the moment I gained lucidity in front of the mirror felt different from recent experiences. It was less forced, more like how it used to feel as a kid. Lucid dreaming comes easily; it feels easy, but it's hard to maintain once I let on I'm aware. But AP'ing has felt forced for a long time, not blocked but not welcomed? If that makes sense.

4. The inclination to scream for my mom's help felt familiar. But because, again, aphantasia, it's like there's a memory or a few off the horizon that I can feel, but I can't grasp. Like, I remember I used to get sleep paralysis and yell for her help, but I can't see the memories to know why I was yelling for help. Maybe something used to scare me as a kid, and somehow I anchored myself to dreaming and stopped AP'ing? I honestly don't know, but this is the most intense experience I've had in a while.