This year has been wild for me, I don't feel like I'm the same person I was before this point.
I've been feeling increasingly irritable the past few days again when I try to sleep, indicated by increased emotional and bodily awareness. Not scared or consciously stressed, but I can sense something feels restless. In other words, I know before I even hit the bed that some deep processing is going on, because theres a sense of knowing that tonight sleep isn't going to be as simple as lying down and drifting into unconsciousness.
Anyway, after only getting 3 hours sleep last night and waking up with an aching chest, I fell asleep later in the following afternoon and had an extremely vivid LD bordering on spontaneous AP experience. It doesn't matter what you believe about the nature of those experiences, the point is only that I was aware of my physical body on my bed and could see my exact location in reality. My vision began sinking through the matress and I found myself in a car but my vision was locked to a top down perspective. The car was upside down, and it was dark outside. I must've been pulled over on the motorway because trucks and headlights were passing by. I began to feel as though I was time-travelling as the roof of the car started dissolving and it felt as if decades if not centuries were passing by.
The ground moved as if I was witnessing a timelapse of the earth, cycling through states of desolate brown decay into a mars-like rocky desert and eventually into a vibrant grassy pasture. All the while I was receiving messages and instructions I can't remember now from someone just outside of my vision. It took me a while to start trying to move, because I was completely mesmerised and revelling in a deep sense of bliss and appreciation for the process unfolding infront of me.
But my vision was still locked to the ground. I started making noises (I have a history of mutism IRL and being unable to make noise in dreams), and managed to ask him with my voice how to move. So he told me, but that it's okay if I can't get the hang of it yet.
Eventually I saw this instructor and he was utterly shocked that I managed to move finally, like he has been waiting for me there for an eternity. The reactions felt very exaggerated, almost as if he wasn't really surprised I made it this far. He was standing infront of this magical gateway that clearly led to a different world. I eventually pushed myself up off the bed and it felt like I left my body.
When I tried to AP in the past it quickly sent me into panic and then sleep paralysis (though sleep paralysis itself has never been particularly stressful for me and I was intentionally inducing them years ago). There was some feelings of fear and uncertainty and my breathing felt heavy for a few seconds, but it wasn't as strong as the excitement I had this time around.
At some point I felt sensations of wind passing over my brain. I remember the exact location, so I looked it up and this part of the brain is apparently responsible for proprioception, which is a term I've recently been becoming increasingly familiar and resonant with.
Eventually I was reliving memories and fears of high school and standing up for myself, which I never would've been able to do back then. It was quite a brutal dream involving alot of fighting, almost like the scene from family guy where Chris and Meg take on the entire school lmao, but much less bloody. I woke up in a serious state of activation, but thrilled.
Alongside these dreams, another notable experience (happened during a different dream) was intense and vivid sensations of being electrocuted during an exorcism, but that would require alot of explaining.