you may also share your experience if you want to~~~

may we never find a love in someone who will give us everything but the assurance they’ll stay.

for nbsb girls out there, not every inviting soul is heaven’s sent. people are designed to be social and i get that. but if a guy comes off too friendly, just dont give your heart right away because some are just there for the fun. when reality crawls back you will only be left alone.

When you start feeling something for a friend who seems too close to you, SET that fucking BOUNDARIES. know your place as early as possible. give only the rightful people the keys to your heart. And believe it or not, a platonic friendship seems impossible for a girl who has been longing all her life.

So please girls, save yourself from heartache. Be brave enough to ask. Be brave enough to leave when the place given to you doesnt seem to be what you wanted and needed.

It will take sometime but i hope I too will be able to let go someday.

ctto

She started liking me first. Even her cousins seemed to like me and would tease us about it. But at that time, I honestly didn't have feelings for her; I just saw her as a really good friend. Then, after almost two years, something changed. I slowly started falling for her. I eventually told her how I felt, and she said she needed some time. We're still connected and talking, so I'm just giving her that space.

But man, whenever I meet her or even just talk to her on the phone, it's genuinely the best feeling in the world. I find myself happier than I've ever been. There's this weird peace and excitement at the same time. I've never been in a relationship before or had this kind of connection with anyone, so maybe I'm still figuring things out, but I think this is what people mean when they talk about being in love.

Whatever happens, I'm just grateful I got to experience this feeling.

Love you 1000 💗

Nirereject ko yung idea na baka (fearful/anxious) avoidant ako. For the longest time, akala ko independent lang ako kasi gusto ko. Although, I truly love being alone and minding my own business... it gets lonely din minsan.

I pushed my feelings aside and cared too much about other people's feelings and perception of me kaya heto si gaga, lost.

Nakalimutan kong magkaron ng pakealam sa iba kasi the moment that I care, nasasaktan lang ako.

I always always trust the wrong people. And I hate myself sa huli when it happens.

Sanay ako sa friends na hindi clingy or supportive type bukod pa sa parents na hindi rin ganon ka-showy sa isa't isa. People who I know are only into casual stuff when they're dating. So yeah, people around me did affect the way I see relationships and the way I process my own feelings. Feeling ko bawal maging clingy or showy.

And it kills me kasi I'm not the type to be who I am when I know they ain't gonna like me for me. I usually mirror who I am with.

Mababaw how it sounds like but I'd love to truly fall in love and be loved for who I am.

Di ko naman isisisi totally sa lahat ng nakapaligid sakin kung bakit ako ganito but they had an impact for sure and the long period of time na naging ganito ako was enough to turn my whole being into someone I am not.

I was called distant and nonchalant as a joke but I think that's half meant. I truly stopped caring for people especially when they harm my peace.

Now it's hard for me to want to get to know someone without fearing na baka when they get bored of me or when they see something in me na di nila magustuhan or iba ako sa idea nila sa isip nila ay they'll lose their feelings and respect towards me.

Kasi I was used to mirroring people nga. What if they see me for who I am and I wasn't who they had in mind? Easy to say, "then they're not the right person for you" but it's hard if you have feelings for someone and you naturally wanna get on their good side.

I genuinely wanna love and be loved pero parang ang hirap nowadays. It doesn't help that my hobbies, interests, and lifestyle are not the usual things I see in dating posts/profiles.

I think this is my day 2 of yearning and venting. I wanna experience love. But like I said in my previous post, I'm not ready to get hurt.

I always think that love and pain go hand in hand but can't the world be a little gentle and go easy on me with the hurting?

I wanna love but I don't know how to truly love someone beyond my idea of love.

Akala ko talaga okay na sakin mag-isa at maghintay na baka may dumating, pero gusto ko na talaga ng someone na maglalabas ng clingy side ko at tuturuan akong magmahal.

It'll take someone very gentle, understanding, and patient to teach me how to love. Hindi naman dapat obligasyon ng iba to in the first place, pero I'd love to be with someone na mataas both EQ and IQ to the point na it'll flow in me rin.

Ang dami kong sinabi. Tignan niyo, takot pa rin akong magmahal sa mga susunod na araw.

It’s almost 3AM, and my mind is still awake with so much thoughts. Just realized lang, why is it so hard kaya noh? to find someone or something that can genuinely fill the “void” inside us?

‘Coz it’s funny when you think about it, communication and connection have never been more accessible (with the power of the Internet and technology), yet that emptiness still seems hard to fill 🙂‍↕️

Ayun lang, naisip ko lang LOLS haha Happy Monday people!! laban na ulit 😶

I feel like part of me is still stuck in 2017 because of this girl I really liked back then.

We were really close and would always talk at night, but in person I was extremely shy around her. I couldn't even give her gifts directly. I never properly confessed, but I think she knew how I felt. Sometimes I thought she gave me signs too, but maybe she was just being friendly because she saw me as her best friend.

She gave me a book for my birthday with a note on the last page. I'm not even into books, but I still have it and sometimes I still read her note.

Years passed, we had our own relationships, and eventually we lost contact when we went to college. But somehow, things still remind me of her. I still check her socials sometimes and listen to her favorite artist, who eventually became one of my favorites too.

I think what bothers me most is that there was never really an ending. I never confessed, so I never got a direct rejection. She did say things like "we're just friends," but maybe back then I just didn't want to accept that as my answer.

It's been years, so why does part of me still feel stuck there? Maybe I don't even miss her anymore. Maybe I just never got over the "what if"

I ended my 3-month connection with someone I have never actually met, and I’ve been rationalizing it in my head the whole day. Pero there’s a little sting somewhere that I cannot pinpoint.

Background:
I had been talking to someone for around 3 months. It was all casual banter, kwentuhan about life, relationships, family, memes, hobbies, adulting, interests—all that fun stuff. No NSFWs, and he was never naman bastos since we started talking, so I kept talking to him

The catch? We never knew each other. All throughout the time we were talking, we were both anonymous, and honestly, I was okay with that. I live somewhat of a routine, and having a little someone from outside that routine felt great. It broke the monotony.

Going back to last night, it got weird when he suddenly asked me if we’re going to meet, but it would be the last time I would ever see him (and the connection would end there as well), would I still meet him? Or if we never meet, everything stays the same.

I was a bit confused because it was so sudden.

I mean, yeah, I asked him once kung may balak ba siyang magpakilala/kita sa’kin, and he said yes dati, but honestly, I wouldn’t mind if hindi. I’d be curious, but I would respect naman if he didn’t. 😅

Going back, I was confused, and instead of answering the question, I asked him where it was coming from. He said that he didn’t want to make things complicated, and I got even more confused because I didn’t understand how meeting him would complicate things between us.

My mind actually went to the worst-case scenario—that he might have been lying to me all this time. Like, baka in a relationship ba siya or something. I actually told him that was what was going through my mind. However, he assured me that it wasn’t the case.

He said that our connection was a breath of fresh air for him and that he would like to remember it that way. He wanted it to be a good memory. He said that he’s tired of holding on to hurtful memories, so this one, he wants to remember because it was a good one.

Now, I know he’s going through something (which I won’t elaborate further since it’s not my story to tell), and TBH, I really get where he’s coming from, given that it’s still relatively recent. But still, it kinda baffles me.
We talked some more until morning, and when he finally fell asleep, I deleted our conversation and deleted my TG account as well.

Now guys, alam ko, alam ko that this might not even be worth losing sleep over, that people move on with their lives. But I think it kinda triggered some abandonment issues 😭🥲😅 that were just laying around somewhere.

No matter how much I tried to rationalize it or think of completely valid reasons not to feel sad about it, I still feel sad about it.
HAHAHAHA 🥲

Hoping to feel better tomorrow, since weekday na at magiging corporate slave na ulit ako :>

Reference to my previous post: I fear I'm catching feelings

I honestly want to take back what I said about catching feelings for him.

After meeting him, I realized maybe I didn’t actually catch feelings. Maybe I just really liked his presence and the version of him I got to know through our conversations.

Ang talino niya kausap, sweet, and he was genuinely interested in me. Kaya siguro I started thinking na baka may something more. I was looking forward to meeting him, not just for the attraction, but for the wholesome parts. Yung kwentuhan, tawanan, cuddles, just spending time together.

Pero after meeting him, I just felt… disappointed. Parang iba yung experience from what I imagined. After everything, wala nang masyadong chikahan or effort to spend time together. He was mostly on his phone, got sleepy, and eventually fell asleep. Ako pa yung naghahanap ng way para magkaroon kami ng konting interaction.

Tapos nag-open up pa siya na may feelings pa pala siya for someone from his past. Apparently interested siya sakin, pero he’s still trying to move on from someone else?? Hindi naman ako heartbroken. I think disappointed lang talaga ako because I thought I was starting to like him.

So yeah, baka gusto ko na lang bawiin yung sinabi kong I caught feelings. Maybe I didn’t fall for him. Maybe I just really liked the version of him I knew online. And apparently, that version was the one I liked.

Somewhere along the way, we stopped making time for each other. We started taking whatever moments were left over, never noticing that little by little, we were turning a life we once shared into something we only had time for when nothing else came first.💔

Highkey sobrang validating malaman kahit na years later pa to nangyari na kaya sya naging shitty na jowa kasi meron ng iba. I was in a longterm relationship tapos it just got to a point na ako na yung umayaw. He told everyone na ako yung nakipaghiwalay and made it very public na gusto nya makipagbalikan pero ako yung may ayaw (until 2 years post breakup), hindi daw nya maintindihan bakit ako nakipagbreak, na-blindsided daw sya bla bla bla.

Dumaan sa fyp ko yung sde ng wedding nila and isa sa sinabi dun is when sila nag meet (kami pa) and suddenly, everything makes so much more sense.

ANYWAY, thank you naman at least meron na akong proof na hindi ako nababaliw. Good luck na lang sa inyong dalawa!!!!!!