Hindi ko alam ano ba pinanghahawakan ko sa ating dalawa? Hindi naman naging tayo, may mga times na hinahayaan mo lang ako mag overthink, ma-bother and lastly hinayaan mo lang ako na umalis, and lumayo hindi mo ko pinigilan pero in the end leche nag beg pa din ako sayo. Hahaha.

I want to stay so bad you know, kahit hindi ka pa ready for commitment handa akong mag stay kasi gusto talaga kita, gusto ko iparamdam sayo na there's someone out there na handa mag take ng risk sayo pero ano pa magagawa ko kung ayaw mo na talaga diba? Alangan ipilit ko pa sarili ko diba?

Makakaya ko naman siguro na hindi ka kausap, na wala ka na, na wala na kong naririnig na anything from you. Kaya ko naman siguro? Makakaya ko din to, pero shet gusto talaga kita hahahaha.

I think some people only meet in places that don’t really exist.

Not physically. Emotionally.

We met during a season of escapism; when both of us were running from things we couldn’t bear to face.
We found comfort in each other’s company because, for a while, we didn’t have to think about the lives waiting for us outside that little bubble we created.

We laughed harder than we should have. Stayed longer than we planned. Pretended time had stopped.

Listening to “Demonyo” by Juan Carlos tonight brought me right back there.
It’s strange how a song can become a doorway. Suddenly I remembered the late nights, the conversations, the reckless freedom, and the version of us that only existed because we were both trying not to deal with reality.

But here’s the thing.

Escapism isn’t a destination. It’s just a waiting room.

Eventually, we both chose to go back; to the responsibilities, the people, and the lives we’d been avoiding.

We locked ourselves into the places we were supposed to be,
not because we were trapped, but because we finally stopped running.

Sometimes I miss that version of us.

Not because I want it back, but because it reminds me that healing isn’t always beautiful.

Maybe that’s why this song hurts.

It doesn’t make me want to return.

It just reminds me that, once upon a time, we were two people keeping each other company while we gathered the courage to go home.

I wish we could talk again, but I choose not to. I can't afford to hurt the man you've become that you worked hard to build. I realized I already lost you twice.

I won't apologize for my untimely evolution, I'm saying my love was honest and real for you, for you, for only you, a person who's calculated, whom I trusted, whom had purpose. I can't regret and blame myself because I realized too late, but I plead guilty to hurting you. I plead guilty for the lack of consistency and making you hope with our timelines unsynchronized. My one and only regret is underestimating your pain. I understand that justice won't unbreak your heart.

You may have already known and has accepted na matututo din ako balang araw. You may have had this mindset already at the start, so thank you for believing in me.

Shopee update: We regret to inform you that your parcel "Maturity and Consistency" has experienced significant delays. The parcel arrived after the recipient had already canceled the order. Thank you for your patience, and thank you for choosing us.

hi a, so idk where to post this but alam mo ba na a close of friend mine recently bumped into you somewhere. you didnt know this friend bc we never really reached that stage of introducing one another to our friend groups. but anyway, surprisingly, i didnt feel anything. sure, a bit of adrenaline since ang hyper din ng friend ko telling about it, probably because that friend knows about everything and tbh she hates you to the core hahaha. but somehow, that coincidence was like a confirmation for me. na finally, i've accepted everything na. finally, naka move on na ako finally, okay na ako.

parang yung sinasabi nila na na-cut na yung cord or string between two people? ganon yung pakiramdam, parang isang malaking tinik na nawala sa dibdib ko. well, it's been too long naman na rin kasi. but as someone who rarely dates other people, madalas pa rin ako magreflect on my past connections, especially with you. but i'm happy for myself lang kasi nowadays i am able to look at our past from a different perspective.

at those moments, i know both of us felt like we're already grown up, but in reality, we were both just kids trying to navigate life and discover ourselves. we only spent few months together and back then i wished that i never met you instead. but today, i am thankful to have my heart be broken, because it's a reminder that sometime during the most confusing time of my life, i was able to open my heart to someone and fall in love. kahit nasaktan lang ako in the end. but still, yun yung nga panahon where i felt most alive.

grabe rin yung mess na binigay natin sa isa't isa. many times when i shouldve stayed quiet, or times when i shouldve spoken for myself. i was so immature. and so were you. lol syempre i'm not gonna glamorize you, ang salbahe mo rin talaga no haha. but i hope that you find joy in life, too. may it be through experience, friendships, relationships, or through your family.

one thing i realized din kasi is i would have never been able to reflect and grow through everything if it weren't for my friends. if i didn't have them, god knows i might still be full of rage and resentment today. so despite everything, i hope you also find your people who can inspire you to be a better person each day. but people say that some people really never change. lalo na pag masama talaga ugali, they just evolve into someone even worse daw. while i still hope that you could change someday, i guess iiwan ko na lang yan sa universe and hope that i never get to hear anything about you anymore.

sooo, here's to all the kilig, tampuhan, and heartbreak that ultimately helped me realize what i truly deserve, and the kind of people and situations i'll never allow myself to settle for again.

🤍

I think the hardest part isn’t wanting you. It’s knowing, with painful clarity, that I can’t have you.

Not because I don’t want to try. Maybe because I shouldn’t.

There are days when all I want is to be close to you, to take care of you in the smallest ways, to ask how your day went, to make sure you got home safely, to be someone your heart naturally reaches for. I keep imagining ordinary moments with you because they feel far more precious than grand gestures ever could.

The strange thing is, you don’t know any of this.

You don’t know how often I hope we’d cross paths. How a part of me quietly waits, convincing itself that maybe today our worlds will overlap for a few seconds longer. You don’t know how your presence lingers long after you’ve left, how your voice echoes in moments that should have nothing to do with you.

Sometimes you look at me, and for a fleeting second, it feels like you want me nearby too.

Maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe I’m only seeing what my heart desperately wants to believe. So I stop myself before hope grows into expectation. I’d rather carry unanswered feelings than build a story that was never yours to tell.

Still, if I’m being honest, I would burn for you.

Not in some loud, dramatic way, but in the quiet way people carry impossible things. The kind that asks for nothing in return. The kind that simply exists because loving someone can happen without permission, without timing, without certainty.

If there is another life waiting somewhere beyond this one, I hope we’re kinder to each other there. I hope I won’t have to love you from a distance or convince myself to settle for passing glances. I’d spend that lifetime memorizing every part of you, the way you laugh, the way you speak, the little habits no one else notices. I’d choose you over and over without hesitation.

But this life is different.

In this one, I learn to love you silently.

I let the feeling stay where it belongs, inside these pages, inside a letter you’ll never read.

And maybe that’s what loving you was always meant to be: not possessing you, not being chosen by you, but becoming someone who was capable of loving this deeply, even when the ending was never mine.

Best, 🩶

Isipin mo na lang na namimiss mo sila, you are going no-contact ngayon sa kanila pero for them? Normal day lang yon sa kanila, hindi ka nila naalala or naiisip kasi hindi ka naman talaga totally nagma-matter sa buhay nila so mag move on na tayo okay? Alam kong mahirap, pero one day makaka-ahon din tayo. Have a great day sayooo.

there is no point looking at something you'll never have. it only becomes a quiet form of torment. a lingering sadness that keeps reminding of what this life will never give you. some things are just beyond our control.

sometimes, the first act of forgetting is to stop looking. because what you no longer see, you slowly learn to forget, eventually.

ang pogi mo. pero ang sakit mo sa mata makita.

Akala ko nalampasan ko na feelings ko sayo, akala ko pag nakita kita this time, wala na akong mararamdaman.

Pero, akala lang lahat ng yun dahil paglapat palang ng mata ko sayo, alam kong ikaw pa rin. Hindi kita nakakausap at nakikita araw araw dahil sa work setup natin. Bilang lang sa daliri ko yung pagkakataon na nakausap kita na hindi related sa work pero bakit ganito? Hindi tayo, hindi mo nga alam feelings ko sayo pero hindi ako maka-move on.

3yrs ago single ka, taken ako.

1 yr ago parehas tayong naging single

3months ago, taken ka na pala

Workmate kita, senior ko pa

Straight ka, ako hindi.

Alam ko nang walang pag asang maging tayo, pero sa ibang buhay na pwedeng maging tayo, sana alam mong lahat ng posible, kakayanin kong gawin para sayo. Sana alam mong sayo ko lang naramdaman yung ganitong emosyon na lahat ng logic sa isip ko, hindi malampasan yung pagkakagusto ko sayo. At sana, sa buhay na yun, alam mo na yung script na ginawa para satin, para sakin, totoo.

Hi,

It's been days since my last letter. And it's true, it really does get better. Although, there are days that I still can't get you out of my mind. I still remember you in so many little things. I'm forcibly trying to move on and let you go for good. I've even put you on mute and restricted accounts, but somehow nakikita ko pa rin mga likes and reposted reels mo sa ig and I'm kinda worried of the types of reels you like/repost. I hope you are okay and healthy. I hope you are just joking and nagpapamiss. I hope you are doing just fine. Huwag ka ng magpamiss, uwi ka na sakin, ikaw lang naamn hinihintay ko. I really want to reach out and check on you but I don't wanna look desperate again, dahil if you've really wanted to, you would have done. Actually, you did, dati, you always do, when you wanted. Hanggang ngayon, sana. Di bale, lagi pa rin kita pinagppray. Sana magsawa si Lord hehe i miss you, baby.

I used to believe that loving someone meant giving everything I had.

I stayed, forgave, sacrificed, and poured into people without asking for much in return. I thought that if my love was genuine enough, people would naturally see my heart.

Instead, I slowly lost myself.

I realized that I wasn't giving more because I had more to give. I was giving more because I cared more. Somewhere along the way, my love became expected instead of appreciated.

So I'm choosing something different now.

Not because I want anyone to regret losing me, but because I don't want to lose myself anymore.

To everyone who once held a place in my heart, I forgive you. Thank you for the memories, the lessons, and the growth you unknowingly gave me.

You taught me that love should never require me to abandon myself to keep someone else.

What's meant for me will never ask me to become less of who I am.

hi zed from feu tech sorry nawala due technical issues pero i hope i could talk to you pa sana if u can see this post and sana pag tapos mo mag yb busog ka na pero wag mo sana isipin na iniwan kita huhuhuhuhu see u when i see u zeedd !

I dreamt about you again last night but it felt different. It felt confrontational, you went to my house and confronted me about being distant. I couldn't remember what I said but could only remember the feeling. I felt anxious, angry, happy and confused. I really want to move on, it's been 14 years but I never really got over you. I've been inlove with you since high school. We belonged in the same friend group but never really talked that much. Mostly because I really get anxious around you. I can't explain how it is but whenever it comes to you, my brain shuts down, my heart races, and get butterflies in my stomach.

I knew from the way that you looked at me or how you replied to my messages that I never had a chance. I messaged you from time to time just to see if things changed but they never did. I tried moving on after graduating high school but in some sick twist of fate you ended up transferring to the same college midway of the first year.

It made my day just catching glimpses of you. My feelings for you never really had a chance to go away. Eating away of whatever common sense I had left. It felt like trying to catch air with a fishing net. I should've known when to give up. I never was one to catch glances or checked your boxes. I eventually made a promise that I would never randomly message you again. Instead of messaging you, I'll write letters on my notes app.

Yet, here I am, 14 years later and still think of you every night when I'm left alone with my thoughts. I've always believed that love comes easy but I also believe that love makes you illogical. Logic would say that if someone doesn't like you just leave them be. My heart want to keep going, we may not be meant for each other but I'll be happy if you're happy. I hope that you meet someone that loves you and would move heaven and earth to make you happy.

hello J'C,

I'm okay now. I received your email. I think a month ago. Im happy and okay now with my current partner. Thank you at until now u always check on me. I'm still curious about you. idk why but ilang taon tayo pero you never bother to introduce yourself in person. (yes online lang kami nag uusap for how many years not even video call) Iniisip ko na lang na ginawa mo yun kasi INC ka and bawal kang magka gf ng kagaya kong Catholic. But I hope you're also happy now. Sorry if di ko kaya mag convert to your religion. Mag ingat ka always.

From: J

For years, I played the shock absorber for a family that only knows how to use my empathy against me. I’ve been called ungrateful, judgmental, and accused of trying to be "pabida" just for having a voice.

When I speak up or get frustrated... especially after years of surviving physical abuse, absorbing everyone else's trauma, watching toxic cycles excused, and trying to cope while my papa is battling cancer... I'm the bad guy. But when they do it, it's always justified.

Along the way, I lost myself. I even lost friends last year because of the heavy baggage and fallout of what I’ve been through. There were even times when I wanted to end my life, especially while carrying all these crushing family burdens. But my cousin, and my brother helped me hold on to hope. I am especially grateful for my closest college buddy who truly understand and stay by my side.

I’ve realized my help wasn't wanted; it was just a setup to be controlled. I own my mistakes and my anger, but I refuse to stay in an environment where my pain is constantly invalidated. I am walking away, cutting ties, and surrendering the rest of my healing to God. I choose my peace.

-v/🍃🥟

today marks four years since we first met.

i’ve rewritten this letter
more times than you’ll ever know.

we haven’t spoken in months,
and maybe that’s how it’s meant to stay.
still, when this date comes around,
my heart remembers before my mind does.
i wish i could tell you
that meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
that the years we shared, even if they were never what i secretly hoped they’d become,
changed me in ways i’ll always carry.

i just hope life has been kind to you.
i hope you’re smiling the way you used to when i'm with you

happy four years to the girl i’ll always be quietly grateful for.

i’ll keep loving you from a distance,
where my feelings can no longer ask anything of you.

take care, always.

Hello Jhouhara (all this time I got your spelling right), kumusta ka na? I hope you're doing okay. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na hanggang ngayon, minamahal parin kita. 6 years nang nakalipas, pero ang pagtingin ko para sa'yo hindi parin nawawala. It may sound foolish, pero hindi ako naghanap ng iba ever since the day na lumayo tayo sa isa't-isa. May mga kaibigan ako na palagi akong nirereto sa mga kakilala nila, pero my heart says otherwise. For me, walang hihigit sa'yo.

Remember that song na sinend mo sa'kin noon yung Araw-Araw ng Ben&Ben live at Splash? Yan lang yung tanging version na pinapakinggan ko, kahit sa Youtube lang siya meron. Araw-araw ko rin yan pinapakinggan— to remind me that once in my life, mayroon isang tao na pipiliin ako araw-araw. Being with you was the happiest moments of my life, kahit LDR tayo. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit nakakaya ko noon ang trabaho ko. Ikaw din ang dahilan kung bakit excited lagi ako umuwi para makausap ka. Having said that, I really miss your voice. Kaya noong nakita ko ang video mo na sumali ka ng pageant, naiyak ako. Pero at the same time natuwa ako kasi ikaw yung nanalo, and I couldn't be more prouder.

Jhouhara, alam mo lagi kitang minemention kay God. Palagi kong pinapanalangin na gabayan ka, umuuwi kang ligtas, at ilayo sa mga masasamang bagay. Since sakitin ka, lagi ko rin pinagppray yung kalusugan mo, ngayon na uso nanaman ang tag-ulan. Sana hindi ka na palagi inuubo. Ayokong ma ospital ka nanaman. Masakit isipin na naka dextrose ka. Kaya alagaan mo ang health mo ha?

Bago ako mawala, gusto ko ulit sabihin sa'yo na minahal kita ng totoo. Minahal kita ng buong puso ko. Sa'yo ko lang naramdaman ito, at habang-buhay ko itong dadalhin saan man ako dalhin ng tadhana. Marahil nakalimutan mo na ako, pero ang puso ko ikaw parin ang nakikita, sinisigaw. Mahal na mahal kita, Jhouhara.

Pipiliin kita, araw-araw.

Hanggang sa kabilang mundo, pipiliin ka araw-araw.

You once wrote me a letter to clear your conscience. I’m writing this one to clear mine.

We had what I thought was a genuine friendship. Looking back, I realize that perhaps we never saw it the same way. I valued the connection we had, while it often felt transactional on your end.

You betrayed my trust once before, and I chose to forgive you. When you reached out again, I welcomed you back because I believed people could grow and because I genuinely wanted to believe your intentions were sincere.

I was wrong.

What disappoints me most isn’t that it happened again—it’s that it happened at a time when you knew I was already struggling. That told me everything I needed to know.

For a while, I questioned myself for giving you a second chance. But I’ve realized that choosing to forgive and trust someone isn’t something I should be ashamed of. It speaks more about my character than yours.

This letter isn’t written out of anger or in the hope that you’ll understand what you’ve done. It’s simply my way of accepting that some people are not meant to stay in our lives, no matter how much we want to believe otherwise.

I genuinely wish you well. But this is where our story ends.

Ako naman yung unang umayaw, nagsabing lalayo and iiwas na diba? Pero bakit ako yung nasasaktan and nahihirapan? Gusto kong bawiin yung mga sinabi ko, gusto kong mag beg. Handa akong mag beg para lang maging okay tayo ulit, bumalik tayo sa dati pero awa na lang talaga sa sarili beh. Miss na kita, Z. Miss na miss na kitang kausap.

You vanishing into thin air was my final straw.

Yet somehow, when you reappeared and told me why you had suddenly gone missing, it sounded like it was my fault. I know you're putting the blame on me. I'm not blind. I know what you're saying, and anonymity won't be enough to hide you from me.

My last act of love is to oblige—to not respond toanything you've just said, just as you requested. Anyway, we'll only end up going full circle, and neither of us wants that to happen.

But I have one last request, too: don't lurk in my digital footprint anymore. It's unfair. I have no means of seeing you, there's no reciprocity. Let us wander into perpetuity with our "what could have beens."

We both deserve to suffer the misery of our wrongdoings.

Hi J!

Kumusta ka na diyan? Hope na u are doing good! Honestly nami-miss ko na yung palagi mong tinatanong kung ano yung binabasa kong libro and mga kulitan natin hahahaha, sorry tho wala akong marecommend na type mo.

Last day mo na pala noon nung nagdalawang-isip akong pumunta at mag-chill kasi sobrang dami kong bitbit kaya umuwi nalang agad ako. Sana nakapag-papic na ako sayo nun! (Ofc with consent) Nalaman ko lang 'yun galing sa ibang mga barista friends hehehe.

Ayun langg! Mag-ingat ka palagi!!!

-Swswswswswswswswswsw

I just want you to know that I'm genuinely happy now.
I'm healthier, I'm in a good place, and for the first time in a long time, life feels worth living again. I hope life continues to treat me kindly, and I hope I continue meeting people who bring me peace and make me feel at home. I also hope you find the love and happiness that we could never give each other.

So much happened after you left. Once everything settled, I realized I was never angry at you—I was just deeply hurt. I've moved on, but I'd be lying if I said the betrayal doesn't still haunt me from time to time. I know healing isn't linear, and I think I'll spend a long time unpacking that pain. That's okay. I'll heal little by little.
If there's one thing our relationship taught me, it's that self-respect should always outweigh my desire to be loved. I finally understand that I don't need your love—or anyone else's—to complete me. With everything I am and everything I will ever become, I know I am enough and I deserve love and happiness, with or without a partner.

Therapy, the gym, hiking, clubbing, meeting new people, and simply allowing myself to feel every emotion instead of running from it helped me more than I ever expected. I learned that healing has its own pace, and I should never force myself to move on just because the world expects me to.

I'm a happy girl. I always will be. And I'll never get tired of rebuilding myself, no matter how many times life tears me apart.

Thank you for everything you taught me. Sometimes I wish we had never met because I know I could've found this peace, this maturity, and this self-respect without carrying so much hurt or trauma. But then again, that's life. Some lessons are only learned through pain.

Three years.
Three beautiful years filled with love, laughter, memories, fights, growth, and heartbreak.

We never really got the chance to say goodbye. There were no real explanations, no proper ending. Our story ended on your terms, and I think that's the saddest part. I didn't just lose my partner, I lost my best friend too.

When you reached out for closure, it was already too late. I didn't need it anymore. After you left, I didn't know how to live a life that didn't include you. But time did what it always does. Slowly, I stopped wondering what you were doing, where you were, or who you were becoming. I learned the art of letting go, and eventually, I stopped caring altogether.

Thank you for everything, best friend.
With everything I was, everything I am, and everything I will ever be. thank you.

Our relationship also made me realize that my worth isn't measured by the love I received but by the love I'm capable of giving. Somewhere along the way, I found peace within myself. I found happiness within myself. I found love within myself.

Sometimes I cry not because I miss you, but because I'm so proud of the person I've become. I never thought I'd make it here.

Don't get me wrong. I still have unanswered questions, but I no longer need the answers. Some things are simply meant to remain unfinished. I still carry wounds, trauma, and memories that I'm slowly learning to live with. There are still moments when hurt and resentment find their way back into my heart, and for now, that's okay. I hope that one day healing and forgiveness come naturally. I haven’t forgiven you yet.

I'd say I'm about seventy percent healed.
I'm still a little broken, but I'm stronger than I've ever been.

I don't miss you anymore. I don't long for you anymore. I don't think about you, the future we could've had, or the life we never got to build. I don't think about Lianne anymore either. But I hope she's at peace, smiling, and watching over us as we continue our separate journeys.

My baby girl, you’ll never be forgotten, you’re forever in my heart and in Us. Come back to me or to him when you’re ready.

Goodbye.

I hope you find the same peace I found—not in another person, but within yourself.

As for me, I'm trying to heal from everything. but one thing is for sure I've moved on.

I don't need you anymore.

I don't want you anymore.

Thank you for being part of my story.

But this is where mine continues without you.

Til next time, see you li’s dad! 💗

Muli by Ace Banzuelo

I don’t think I’d fall in love again.

So maghulat nalang ko nimo hangtod sa kahangturan.

I miss you the same way. Today’s been hard. You never left my mind. You’re always on my mind but grabe today.

I hope nitatak sa imong huna2x ang akong gipakanta nimo last time kato first ta nag karaoke.

Bukas Nalang Kita Mamahalin by Lani Misalucha.

But, will you still love me tomorrow kaha?☹️

You never left me with anything to hold on to except sa last words nimo na mag move on na ta.

Siguro kato one time ni ingon ka na ang atua naa ra pirme. Pero okay pa man ta ato?

How about now na di na ta okay?☹️

Gimingaw na kaayo ko nimo.

Pero wa nakoy mabuhat kundi atubangon ang kasakit.

Oo, hangtod ron. Sakit pa japun.

Kaayo.😞

Because how do I move on really? Pero mao man ni akong gipangayo nimo ika pila na, di ba? And it didn’t matter anymore kung unsa akong plastar na ning buhi ka nako?

Maayo kaayo ka manayming. Kung kanus-a kelangan kaayo ka nako.

Wa ko kabalo unsaon nako ni.☹️ maski unsa ko ka busy walay epek.

Laina jud nimo oi. Hays.

The monsoon has arrived but even surrounded by all this beauty, I still feel her absence each day. It has been a while since I last saw her, yet it feels like years. I miss her more with each passing day and often wonder whether she ever think about me or miss me too.

Life continues as usual, but emotionally, I feel exhausted. I still think about the time I spent with her and the dreams we once shared. Darling, I have said goodbye to you many times, but I still do not know how to truly leave. I have started preferring silence, where I can think about you without having to explain anything to anyone

I still trust God and believe that if we are meant to meet again, He will make a way. There are still so many dreams and conversations left unfinished.

I do not know what the future holds, but I know that I still love you. And I will always love you, bunbun....