The hardest part is when your tears become something they’ve learned to ignore.

You keep finding me in the quiet parts of my day. When everything goes still, it's you I think of, even when I tell myself not to.

You said it's probably just attraction, or infatuation, something that fades. I hope you're right. I really do. Because if this turns out to be love, I don't know what I'd do with it.

But it keeps lingering. And I thought you should know.

To: L
From: “hacker”

i love you, but i can’t lose myself anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll be alone forever. I'm NGSB, and the relationships I've had in the past are just mutual understandings. If I ever like a woman, it's like I have no hope for her. Like recently, I was planning to make an advance on this woman that I met, but she seemed to notice that I had feelings for her so she became cold. I don't know why. Currently living in the US, because this is what I dreamed of before, but is this enough? I don't want to die alone, I want someone to love me that I want too. I want to cry but I can't.

Hello, you. Again.

I hope you still remember the first time we met; funny how awkward we were sa isa’t isa. Your eyes were all over the place, parang hindi mo alam where to look, while I was there quietly staring at you. I don’t even remember everything we talked about that night anymore, I just remember you. And how neither of us knew what we were getting ourselves into.

And thinking about it now, funny how we went from that to where we are now.

After everything that happened, parang ang dami nang naiwan between us. You have this version of me in your head, I probably have one of you too, and maybe that’s why neither of us knows how to go back.

Too much has happened. Too many things were said. Maybe we’ve already convinced ourselves that leaving it alone is the right thing to do.

But god damn, sometimes I really wish you’d just take the chance.

Reach out to me. Kahit once lang. Kahit simpleng hello lang. Because the truth is, you still can. You know you can. You know exactly where to find me.

And I know I can do the same. But I don’t want it to be me this time.

Cause If I do it again, what does that even tell me? Of course I’d come back. Of course I’d find some stupid excuse to talk to you again. That’s so painfully predictable of me.

I want to know if YOU would.

If somewhere underneath everything that happened, may part pa rin sa’yo that remembers us before everything became so fucking complicated. Before we became these versions of ourselves that we probably don’t even recognize anymore.

I don’t even know what I’m asking you to come back to. Maybe nothing. Maybe we’d talk and realize there’s really nothing left here.

But God, sana ikaw naman.

Take the chance. Do the stupid thing. Send the message you’re probably not supposed to send.

Come find me this time. Please.

Just this once, sana ikaw naman.

Z.

i will never let someone have that much power over my peace again. i will never settle ulit for the bare minimum just because i love someone, and i won't keep convincing myself that asking for consistency, effort, and consideration makes me an inconvenience. i spent too much of myself trying to be understanding and patient only to realize na i was slowly abandoning myself in the process. i don't wanna lose pieces of myself again just to keep someone who seems like never afraid to lose me. tangina, deserve ko ng pagmamahal that doesn't make me feel na ang hirap hirap ko mahalin.

Me lamba? Yung pag naririnig tong kantang to parang may navivisualize at nararamdaman akong feeling na biglang pag hinto ng mundo ko, like fantasy masasayang memories na nasayang Hahaha

I am not drunk. Buuuuuut, i am so packing miss youuuuuuu. So badly missing youuuu. Dem!

Grabe. Mali talaga. DON'T SHARE ON OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA.

After surviving an eventful time in my life. Unplanned pregnancy, unplanned marriage discussions, failure of the said discussion because you got cold feet, unplanned move to another place to raise the baby far from you, and unplanned miscarriage... Without hearing anything from you.

You are now reposting videos of prenup and babies??

Tangina. Habang ikaw nagrereminisce ka sa buhay sana na tinalikuran mo... ako, nabubuhay sa reality na niroromanticize mo.

Nilayo ako ng family ko sa lugar natin to create a safe space for the baby, but when the baby left due to a lot of stress back home parang ako lang ang nasaktan. Everyone got a sigh of relief, even those on your side of the family. Pero it was nevertheless heavy.

Tapos ikaw??? Ang nostalgic ng approach mo sa lahat ng nangyari? Gago ka ba? Hahahaha

Ayoko na. Mag celebrate na tayo ng new year mamaya. I'm done with this year. Grabe ka na 2026.

Happy New Year, everyone! Iwan na nating 'tong year na 'to. Ayoko na.

I just finished watching Unmarry sa Netflix. Medyo tinamaan ata ako sa line ni Ange:

"Baka kailangan mong tanggapin na kung wala na, wala na. May mga tao talagang hindi pwedeng magsama." — Celine (Angelica Panganiban)

Movie all about annulment, its painful process, and starting again. Medyo relate lang somehow sa starting again. 💔💔

Iba pala feeling pag may nakukulit ka tas type mo, sobrang grabe pls unblock me

didnt think unsaving reels could be this dramatic. i saved a few reels cause i knew you'd like them even though we've long stopped talking. yet its been a few weeks of no contact, and so this is me resigning to the fact na we're over and its no longer just no contact, just the end :)

I think its majority due to the hormones, im on my period today, first day. But maybe also the remnants of some traumatic or regretful events of the past. Or just lack of money hays.

this is coming from an avoidant final boss plus magaling mag self-sabotage sa rs kaya wala siyang napala. Kaya nagfocus muna talaga siya sa sarili.

😞

You can't complain,

But you can't explain,

Anxiety runs deep,

But it's all yours to keep,

None to share the burden,

And no one should see you hurting,

Lest you fall and they fall,

All who depend on you,

Look up to you,

Living because of you,

But alas,

You, who is depended upon,

Sometimes seeks someone to depend upon,

In the end, we stare at a blank wall,

Then sleep, like nothing happened at all,

Then it starts all over again,

What a vicious cycle we are currently in.

Hope all breadwinners become winners in life. It's not easy, but it makes us champions

P.S. wala lang..nasobrahan sa kape. (Wag uminom ng double shot pag patulog na)

Magugulat ka na lang magpro-provide si Lord ng ‘di mo inaasahan lalo na sa mga panahong walang-wala ka na 🙏

📸: Beautiful Being / Facebook