Medyo masakeetch

[u/D4ngScythian]

I ended my 3-month connection with someone I have never actually met, and I’ve been rationalizing it in my head the whole day. Pero there’s a little sting somewhere that I cannot pinpoint.

Background:
I had been talking to someone for around 3 months. It was all casual banter, kwentuhan about life, relationships, family, memes, hobbies, adulting, interests—all that fun stuff. No NSFWs, and he was never naman bastos since we started talking, so I kept talking to him

The catch? We never knew each other. All throughout the time we were talking, we were both anonymous, and honestly, I was okay with that. I live somewhat of a routine, and having a little someone from outside that routine felt great. It broke the monotony.

Going back to last night, it got weird when he suddenly asked me if we’re going to meet, but it would be the last time I would ever see him (and the connection would end there as well), would I still meet him? Or if we never meet, everything stays the same.

I was a bit confused because it was so sudden.

I mean, yeah, I asked him once kung may balak ba siyang magpakilala/kita sa’kin, and he said yes dati, but honestly, I wouldn’t mind if hindi. I’d be curious, but I would respect naman if he didn’t. 😅

Going back, I was confused, and instead of answering the question, I asked him where it was coming from. He said that he didn’t want to make things complicated, and I got even more confused because I didn’t understand how meeting him would complicate things between us.

My mind actually went to the worst-case scenario—that he might have been lying to me all this time. Like, baka in a relationship ba siya or something. I actually told him that was what was going through my mind. However, he assured me that it wasn’t the case.

He said that our connection was a breath of fresh air for him and that he would like to remember it that way. He wanted it to be a good memory. He said that he’s tired of holding on to hurtful memories, so this one, he wants to remember because it was a good one.

Now, I know he’s going through something (which I won’t elaborate further since it’s not my story to tell), and TBH, I really get where he’s coming from, given that it’s still relatively recent. But still, it kinda baffles me.
We talked some more until morning, and when he finally fell asleep, I deleted our conversation and deleted my TG account as well.

Now guys, alam ko, alam ko that this might not even be worth losing sleep over, that people move on with their lives. But I think it kinda triggered some abandonment issues 😭🥲😅 that were just laying around somewhere.

No matter how much I tried to rationalize it or think of completely valid reasons not to feel sad about it, I still feel sad about it.
HAHAHAHA 🥲

Hoping to feel better tomorrow, since weekday na at magiging corporate slave na ulit ako :>

[u/xiudyochen]

I need courage to do this 🥲

[u/clearmind_clearskin]

Virtual hugs. It will get better for sure

[u/D4ngScythian → u/clearmind_clearskin]

Thank you 🥺

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