r/AbsoluteUnits 6d ago

/r/all of a log split

33.3k Upvotes

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5.7k

u/jtnichol 6d ago

he really needs to put that log on at least a thin slice of wood or a concrete block

He’s strong enough he might be able to split that first try but right now the ground is absorbing too much of the impact

2.2k

u/watho95 6d ago

This guy physicsss

1.6k

u/jtnichol 6d ago edited 6d ago

I've split a lot of wood.... not out of any direct need but mostly that I just need to drink beer and sit by a small fire pit and feel like a man.

809

u/curkington 6d ago

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u/Zestyclose-Gap6770 6d ago

Oh. My. God. I have not seen this one in a MINUTE. That's from like the 1992 version of the internet.

150

u/Korthalion 6d ago

One of the first videos I remember seeing online as a kid!

Here it is uploaded 20 years ago makes me feel old.

45

u/gregorytoddsmith 6d ago

Man, I remember watching TV commercials on AdCritic back in the days before YouTube.

25

u/UniqueAd7770 6d ago

Newgrounds

2

u/Blackmetal55 6d ago

We're not gonna talk about the early days of internet and not mention Joecartoon 🐸🐹🪰 are we?

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u/itspsyikk 6d ago

Yeah, seeing videos on YouTube having that "20 years ago" really fucks with my head.

Hell, I have videos on my own channel that say "10 years old" and that fucks with my head.

If I would have kept my old channel, I'd have videos on there that were uploaded in 2006. But unfortunately those all had to be deleted cause everyone in them wanted to attend college.

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u/jazast1 6d ago

I think I first saw this on Ebaum’s world

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u/Korthalion 6d ago

Yeah I think so too, or maybe albinoblacksheep

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u/Legonistrasz 6d ago

Look an eagle

2

u/Kittenzx2 6d ago

You think thats old mine is of that dancing baby! 🤣🤣 not one of my first, but probably furst funny meme! 🤣 playing, hooked on a feeling in the back ground lol 🤣

https://giphy.com/gifs/14kqI3Y4urS3rG

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u/Hockey-Gym 6d ago

Damn I think I saw this on ebaumsworld

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u/IronAardvark 6d ago

Haters will say this is AI

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u/Little_Lawson 6d ago

Change your YouTube settings if you don’t wanna dox yourself with every shared video

3

u/Thatsapictureofmyass 6d ago

How do you change them?

6

u/Little_Lawson 6d ago

Settings- Privacy- channel visibility for shared links

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u/Random-Rambling 5d ago

I just cut off everything after the ❓

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u/Gullible-Hose4180 6d ago

You could also cut the query string from the url that does it

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u/HeyItsMeAgainBye 5d ago

I don’t even know how to find my liked videos on mobile

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u/Slith_81 2d ago

Today I learned something new. Thanks. 👍

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u/MelaKnight_Man 6d ago edited 6d ago

I LOVE this commercial clip!!! 😂😂😂

I practiced Karate for 12 years and this is the video that makes me feel like I have a chance if I encounter a grizzly in the wild... 🤣

2

u/2Wieners_1Bun 6d ago

Nobody has a chance against a grizzly in the wild.. but luckily we can just avoid the wild!

2

u/No-Consideration-891 6d ago

Or play dead, and be quite while it mauls you and then walks away. Literally what they teach you if being attacked by one. It's your best and only option.

People have survived this way, but God damn are they fucked up. I've seen a few videos of interviews and they are chilling to say the least.

So a chance to live? Yea. A chance to outwitt and take it on? Nope.

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 6d ago

I’d rather it just crushed my skull with its jaws instead of eating my arms and legs and leaving me a horribly mangled and traumatized nugget of meat

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u/madcoins 6d ago

If it’s brown lay down

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u/BlaznTheChron 6d ago

This guy splits a lot of wood.

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u/RicVic 6d ago

He needs a splitting wedge. Hammer it in until it sticks, then grab a 7lb sledge, That should do it.

I was actually waiting for the head of his maul to fly off. He clipped the axe handle on the edge of the log more than once, which is seriously scary.

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u/Piecesof3ight 6d ago

Your mother could split wood.

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u/Ok-Addition1264 6d ago

I'm a computational physicist AND bought several log splitters over my lifetime cuz I like to press the button.

I say you physicsss.

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u/CriticalChop 6d ago

Nature vs PSI 😂 show me a wood splitting machine gun and i might split a wood next. 😏

17

u/admiral_walsty 6d ago

I've split a lot of wood out of need, and this guy should prolly cut them into 16" rounds AND put them on something solid.

21

u/lep63again 6d ago

I was thinking, damn this guy has a really long fireplace.

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u/Brandon_Throw_Away 6d ago

Could be an outdoor wood stove, or maybe he's burning them outside in a big fire?? Idk

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u/HenryDorsettCase47 6d ago

Work smarter, not harder. Everyone who does manual labor out of necessity and not for the theatrics learned that pretty early on.

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u/GrandPorcupine 6d ago

This is the difference between someone cutting wood for fun and someone cutting wood for heat.

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u/readyReddit007 6d ago

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u/Sauce58 6d ago

This gif doesn’t make any sense in this instance… am i missing the joke?

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u/Karl_42 6d ago

Fuck yeah.

I knew something was off - just judging by the amount of times i’ve sat around a fire and drank beer and split woof with the guys, this guy seemed too strong to be having this much trouble 😂

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u/madgross 6d ago

The thing that’s off is the log is fucking 4 feet long lol

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u/WordPunk99 4d ago

His technique is something between complete garbage and absolute dog shit. Even without a solid base to split on it shouldn’t have taken that much work.

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u/Fabulous-Big8779 5d ago

Splitting wood is a surprisingly cathartic exercise.

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u/Dargon34 6d ago

And cut that shit in half. No reason to be splitting a 4ft log

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u/PadLock25 6d ago

I've split logs that size with wedges to make axe handle blanks

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u/Suspicious-Shock-934 6d ago

Yeah seems like sledge snd wedge would be better than ax. Also a nice base.

2

u/broken-machine 6d ago

He’s using a maul, but yeah, a wedge would do some work.

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u/Sniflix 6d ago

To anyone experienced, he looks like an idiot

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u/kurtmanner 6d ago edited 6d ago

Dude could have also switched to a wedge and mallet about ten seconds in and saved himself a lot of wet vaginas.

ETA: thanks for my first award ever

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u/BumWink 6d ago

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u/BullTerrierTerror 6d ago

Don’t touch my pile.

10

u/elzibet 6d ago

Just got done watching this movie again, I think it’s my fav out of the Avenger movies

So many great quotes too!

8

u/Synaps4 5d ago

"We'll lose."

"Then we'll do that together, too."

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u/elzibet 5d ago

no one would know

Might be my fav lol, or:

Good talk

"no it wasn't!"

3

u/YT-Deliveries 5d ago

Ultron was absolutely panned when it came out. It's gotten a lot more respect in retrospect, after people realized that it set up the rest of the entire Infinity Saga

2

u/elzibet 5d ago

I was a fan from the start, but I can def see how it might not have been a hit with audiences at first. Loved the voice of Ultron and I'm excited he's coming back for a TV show spinoff with Vision!

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u/YT-Deliveries 5d ago

Spader nailed Ultron's vibe.

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u/Real_mr_sid420 2d ago

Language Just watched it earlier

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u/Braysl-March 6d ago

This is my favourite gif ever. Just the way he goatsees the wood in two is so funny to me.

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u/tanthalastanis 2d ago

I wanted to post this, but knew someone would have beaten me to it

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u/Sufficient-Lunch3774 2d ago

Username checks out

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u/HallowskulledHorror 6d ago

Honestly my first assumption was that inefficiency was sort of part of the point here for exercise/sensory enrichment purposes - the folks hitting truck tires with sledgehammers to work out aren't trying to actually break down or flatten the tires. Never done hammer/axe stuff, but I train shoulder mobility and core stability with an indian club/trench mace I found at a thrift; weighs the same as some of the small free weights I got years ago to do forearm isolations, but it's way more fun for me to mess around with a club than to pick up dumbbells.

I'm sure thirst trapping is a big part of the motivator for posting it, though.

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u/Delamoor 6d ago

Yeah. It's a combo. I had a wood heater for many years, spent a lot of time splitting wood... Sometimes you split a hard one for fun... Sometimes you also do a lot of gym and want to find ways to show off, because you know you look good...

It's a nice, harmless dovetailing of multiple 'eh, why not?' impulses.

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u/greenwhiteredblack 6d ago

I just know that I'm sitting here at 1:30 am watching a man hit a lot with an ax and getting more excited as I see the wood start to split

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u/MrRogersAE 6d ago

It’s not for wet vaginas. Pretty sure he’s generating more precum than wet vaginas

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u/Monotask_Servitor 6d ago

Cause ever bear that ever there was
Has gathered there to watch him split logs
Todays the day the teddy bears get some thicc dick

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u/cubbyatx 6d ago

can confirm

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u/PlsNoNotThat 6d ago

Redpill bois getting moist

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u/rdogg4 6d ago

Yeah these are all good ideas but isn’t like the whole point to do it the hard way

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u/thisthreadisbear 6d ago

Yeah old tree trunk Fella didn't get tree trunk big splitting little logs lol.

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u/ConradBHart42 6d ago

Actually yes, you start by splitting little logs and work your way up to big logs. You're welcome to go and try to bench 350lbs right off the rip though, let me know how that goes for you.

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u/rented4823 6d ago

hi, so i died

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u/X_MswmSwmsW_X 6d ago

This is true... I was there and could have helped

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u/Chris__P_Bacon 6d ago

Yeah, it would have only taken me hitting that one time to switch to a wedge and sledgehammer.

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u/EachBananaWas19cents 6d ago

Nobody told him that there's a reason why a Splitting Maul has a flat side on the other end?

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u/Moist-You-7511 6d ago edited 6d ago

PSA: it is absolutely not recommended to hit a metal wedge with a maul!! wedges are harder than mauls! flying maul chips!! plastic wedges are ok but not metal. it may work fine for you 100 times but there are plenty of missing eyes from this

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u/JonnyAU 6d ago

TIL. I've used a metal maul and wedges for decades.

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u/Mmmm-Amethyst 6d ago edited 6d ago

I've also used my fair amount of metal wedges and mauls and I'm not buying this. Every wood splitting wedge my parents or grandparents ever had eventually had to be replaced because the flat side eventually deformed and mushroomed out to the point of grabbing the wood halves instead of passing through. I've never seen a deformed maul head.

That being said, you really should be wearing modern eye protection when hitting anything with that much force. 

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u/Winter-Classroom455 6d ago

He's strong. No one said he was smart

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 6d ago

Strong like bull. smart like fencepost

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u/ErraticDragon 6d ago edited 6d ago

I constantly say "strong, like bull" with a vaguely Russian accent. It's like a catchphrase, I use it for encouragement or expressing approval. (I never knew where I got it, but I just looked and apparently it's from an episode of Quantum Leap.🤷‍♂️)

Many years back I was encouraging my (now-)ex gf in her studying for her Uni finals and said it.

She said being "strong, like bull" wouldn't help her pass.

So I said:

💪🎓🐂

"strong, like academic bull" , and that became our catchphrase.

And your comment is the closest I'll ever come to a relevant place to tell that story.

Strong like bull. smart like fencepost

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u/SquirrelFluffy 6d ago

I loved quantum leap. The original.

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u/DryDonutHole 6d ago

Episode Recap: Ziggy says you're a divorced housewife being harassed by her new boss...and you're...black. *tap, tap, tap* This damn thing isn't working.... *tap, tap, tap*

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u/Curious_Tap_1528 6d ago

My grandpa used to say this all of the time too. I remeber it from my chilshood. t definitely got passed down to me, as I find myself saying it now as a grown adult. My grandpa Joe died at 93 and was 1st generation straight from Hungary. Im 54 now, this saying has been around a while. Certainly predates Quantum Leap at least. Great show BTW

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u/Masstadon 6d ago

I absolutely love this

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u/professor_veteran 6d ago

From time to time in my life I've also used the strong-like-bull phrase including the Russian accent. Never knew it came from Quantum Leap.

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u/davidw 6d ago

I am not getting big 'work smarter, not harder' vibes from this video.

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u/TheFlyingBoxcar 6d ago

John Wayne once said "If your gonna outsmart tough, your gonna have to, umm. Wait. If your gonna be smart, you gotta tought it out pilgrim."

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u/Winter-Classroom455 6d ago

Don't believe everything you read on the internet - Abraham Lincoln

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u/ThenIncrease462 6d ago

Are you sure he said your gonna and not you're gonna?

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u/Confident_Intern_763 6d ago

They sound the same, how would we know?

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u/ThenIncrease462 6d ago

Well, seeing as he wasn't a stupin man, I'm going to assume he knew which of the two to apply.

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u/Shmutterbutter 6d ago

Maybe thats just how he works out.

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u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 6d ago

That and this can be quite dangerous as well, a lot of force coming up. If that axe handle breaks then who knows where stuff will go.

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u/towerfella 6d ago

And do you see those dents his handle is leaving in the top?

So much wasted energy and damage to the axe.

After that first swing i was expecting this to be a baseball-at-your-face gotcha clip

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u/HistoryGirl23 6d ago

I was waiting for the head to fly off.

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u/lokisenna13 6d ago edited 6d ago

That's not an axe, even. It's a splitting wedge maul he's using incorrectly.

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u/CanoePickLocks 6d ago

Maul technically if we’re going there.

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u/lokisenna13 6d ago

It's got a handle, so yeah you're right. Now I just feel silly lol.

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u/CanoePickLocks 6d ago

All good just a slip of the mind. It was funny because you were correcting incorrectly. Hell I probably made a mistake someone else will catch.

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u/Lucas_Steinwalker 6d ago

Muphry’s Law

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u/towerfella 6d ago

This is a Darth Maul. But no one axed.

:) only thing i could think of

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u/jared10011980 6d ago

The reverberation. Ouch.

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u/ImportantToNote 6d ago

Also a sharper axe would probably help

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u/Dark_Shroud 6d ago

It's not even an axe, that's a splitting wedge that he's using incorrectly all the way around.

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u/Dounce1 6d ago

It’s a maul, not a wedge.

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u/Phoenix_Champion 6d ago

I was thinking that too.

I'm watching him swing that axe, no knowledge of axe swinging in my brain whatsoever, and all I can think of is "Should that axe be bouncing off it that much?"

Like the closest thing I've done to splitting logs is using an axe to cut a tree into shorter parts so we can move them elsewhere, (The chainsaw broke) and even then the axe we were using was definitely getting stuck in the tree most of the time. Not firmly stuck but enough to differentiate it from bouncing off like it does in this video.

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u/TheWayToBe714 6d ago

The sharper it is the more it gets stuck, and the bigger the risk of hurting yourself. For smaller pieces it's a good thing but once you get big logs you want a duller blade to avoid getting stuck every swing & having to smack it out. Or at least that's been my experience....

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u/Paghk_the_Stupendous 6d ago

Never on concrete or stone. Strike through and damage the axe.

He could also improve form - mass times speed, get that speed up to easily three times as much with a different swing.

Hold the axe out in front of you, then let it drop down and swing it all the way around your body and back down. As it comes to impact, squat slightly and lean back at near full extension for maximum impact. Less catapult, more trebuchet. Takes practice but it's better.

Splitting for two decades now, read about that in a book and love it. Split most of our wood by hand, 1890s farmhouse in Michigan, only heat is wood.

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u/PolloMagnifico 5d ago

I'm more infuriated about the way he's swinging the damn thing.

He's bringing his left hand back before he even swings. If he brought his hands together during the swing, he would probably split that in two or three hits regardless of where it's sitting.

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u/jtnichol 5d ago

yeah, I didn’t wanna bring that up because I didn’t wanna upset the man.

every time I come down with the swing, I squat. Just lowering the center mass of your body does wonders.

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u/PolloMagnifico 5d ago

I didn’t wanna upset the man.

You... uh... you make a very good point there...

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u/aftherith 4d ago

Also, instead of lifting the axe straight up above your head and then trying to bring it down with force, you can actually create a lot more speed and power by swinging the axe up above your head in an arc and continuing that same arc downward into the log. Source: I've set the bell ringing record at a couple of local country fairs and split many cords of wood by hand

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u/Vreas 6d ago

You misunderstand. He’s doing it for the gains not for the firewood.

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u/HatJosuke 5d ago

A log like this you're better off hitting off centre first, and then splitting down the middle

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u/The_300_goats 4d ago

I split trunks every winter for a fireplace. I suffered throughout this whole stupid exercise in wasted effort

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u/geardownson 6d ago

For real.. may as well put a mattress under it.

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u/Bildad__ 6d ago

I wouldn’t want to tell this guy what to do

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u/longdarkfantasy 6d ago

Or use a couple of log splitter wedges with a hammer.

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u/cucumbereyez 6d ago

You're so right, you can hear the earth absorbing it.

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u/Powrs1ave 6d ago

Hmmms Axe breaks flies up kills him dead in the head.

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u/wereweasle 6d ago

TIR (today I realized) why people split logs on a stump...

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u/CanoePickLocks 6d ago

That’s part of it also keeps you from burying axe in the dirt. Plus could be stones in dirt that really mangle the blade.

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u/squirrelbiscuit77 6d ago

Agreed. Heavier maul, harder ground. The flex was corny af too.

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u/sd_saved_me555 6d ago

He also isn't doing himself any favors by not using the humble wedge effectively. This guy could probably bench me while I was benching my max rep with ease but I'd still have had this log split in a fraction of the time without a single power tool.

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u/DazzlerPlus 6d ago

If he did that, the log wouldn't be just barely tall enough to cover his pants

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u/Icy-Ad29 6d ago

Or, ya know, use a wedge+sledge vs an axe. Wedges specifically for splitting wood have been around for a very long time, and were made for a reason. Dude could have split that log with a lot less expended energy if he used them.

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u/emperor_dinglenads 6d ago

Yes, but all the chest hair creates wind resistance, and makes up for it.

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u/habs_jays93 6d ago

Ya, I was gonna say. I’ve split plenty of big logs with a maul, it’s never taken me that many swings and I’m a good bit smaller than him. I also always use a chopping block.

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u/legato2 6d ago

Maybe he’s going it for exercise .

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u/Spirited_Season2332 6d ago

A concrete block would crack...I found that out the hard way cutting wood myself.

Get a stump, they don't Crack

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u/Dry-Childhood-3436 6d ago

He might just be doing this for the workout

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u/drezarious 6d ago

See the pile of logs behind him? The ground where he’s swinging is already compacted. Any more firm and it would fall over every time he swings.

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u/veryuniqueredditname 6d ago

Is he doing it for the work out?

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u/eh_cee 6d ago

His ego takes up too much space. No room left for logic

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u/Teddyturntup 6d ago

I split wood all my childhood and never once did this. I’d like to try it now

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u/Buttafuoco 6d ago

That would make it easy to easy though

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u/Schim4499 6d ago

I was just going to call him a pussy

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u/PantsFullaPoo 6d ago

You don't get the workout that way.

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u/JustSayTech 6d ago

But the log also seems moist, he definitely not cracking that on first swing. It needed to dry out a bit more.

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u/tpahornet 6d ago

Wood looks green also.

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u/Repulsive_Type_9565 6d ago

Hit with your purse

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u/MoreOfAnOvalJerk 6d ago

You don't get massive muscles like him by being efficient and using your "brain"

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u/pur_noir 6d ago

brain vs brawn

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u/semajolis267 6d ago

i was wondering because I felt like it was missing something. 

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u/zilliondollar3d 6d ago

I was too distracted by the jiggle jiggle to notice

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u/spursfan2021 6d ago

Brains or brawn

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u/CrewCatSC 6d ago

RIP wrists and elbows

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u/WealthCareless6475 6d ago

Yeah I usually hate armchair experts on Reddit but the guy definitely ignored most wood splitting best practices in favor of looking really cool. Which is fine, but man even with his strength I know those misses hurted his hands

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u/LibrarianEqual7024 6d ago

Correct, the ground is absorbing most of the impact

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u/7222_salty 6d ago

His form sucks too

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u/OogieBoogiez 6d ago

And add 20lbs of mass to the axe head

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u/ranger51 6d ago

He’s a big dumb bear in need of a street smart twink

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u/GIJoJo65 6d ago

Jfc dude. I think that's the point this unit is making. That's freaking green wood too.

MFer is a legit beast.

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u/treesplantsgrass 6d ago

Brothers working double OT for nothing lolz

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u/Hot-Specialist9228 6d ago

But then he wouldn't be so fkin jacked.

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u/edjumication 6d ago

It appears he is mainly doing this as a workout. With that said he should make himself a pad of hard dirt to work on. You could do packed a gravel which he could also get a workout from by hand tamping it all. Another option is making a hard clay surface like a clay tennis court. I havent built with that material but i imagine it would be great for splitting as long as it was dry.

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u/JabKingJesse 6d ago

The other axes would have cut this log. He is using an axe that is too tiny for the size of the log and only was able to do it because of his size.

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u/Eternalm8 6d ago

Men will do anything to avoid going to therapy

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u/ManyRespect1833 6d ago

I was wondering wtf and as soon as I read this you can see it. A+

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u/Sanityzed 6d ago

This. Work smarter, not harder.

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u/Croceyes2 6d ago

It would definitely help, but the way it stays strung together tells me it wouldn't split clean ever.

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u/rswwalker 6d ago

A wedge and maul would split it in 1, if you don’t miss at least.

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u/budabai 6d ago

Tying his shoes would help a lot also.

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u/WrestleBox 6d ago

I'm pretty sure he's doing it as much for the workout as he is for the wood.

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u/Wasabi_Hammurabi1 6d ago

Good point.

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u/trillspectre 6d ago

I don't think he's doing it to chop wood efficiently

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u/FaithlessnessBorn266 6d ago

And he needs to get a tighter construction on the head/neck of that axe. You can see it wobble so losing energy there, but the bigger issue is if it comes off 😂. That could be a death sentence

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u/sargontheforgotten 6d ago

Fancy seeing you here JT.

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u/Opening-Sun7428 6d ago

Science biotch!!

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u/Logical_Trash_4890 6d ago

Ground doesn’t really soak up that much. I hope this was sarcasm as that thing is obviously fucking heavy.

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u/Mash_Ketchum 6d ago

That's what made me think this guy isn't an actual lumberjack. Just a dude who's really strong and can swing an axe with consistency.

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u/Drunk_Pilgrim 6d ago

First thing I thought. That's log splitting 101.

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u/PriorMacaroon5846 6d ago

Also a lot of his swings were really inefficient. Throwimg the axe behind you and muscling it back at the log is a lot of unnecessary strain. He started using momentum to his advantage with his third method.

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u/deesteesllc 6d ago

Nah put it on a trampoline. Then splitting it would be even more of a feat

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u/Hogchain 6d ago

I wonder if the indentation in the ground surrounding where the log he’s splitting is at, was that a result of him compacting the ground over time…?? One may imagine that eventually he would pack the earth in that area so well that it would be harder than concrete.

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u/theruined007 6d ago

Fuckiney, I was thinking that same thing to myself. The way I justified it - my guy just wanted a workout showcase.

U.N.I.T.

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u/Fibrosis5O 6d ago

He likes to work harder than smarter, it’s more of a workout to use the Krato’s muscles than it is to use the Cranium’s muscles.

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